I Love To Hate You
by An End Has A Start
Summary: He loves her. She hates him. He’s trying to win her over but in the screwed up world that is highschool things are never that simple. ExB All Human.
1. Chapter 1: Revenge

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter One: Revenge**

_Edward's POV_

So I woke up nude, not quite sure why. All my clothes were gone and I had nothing to cover myself up with. Then _she_ came in and cuffed me to my bed and brought out a camera. I knew she would get revenge I just didn't think it would be this bad.

I guess I should fill you in with what the hell was going on. Well if you hadn't already figured, I was naked. Why was I naked you may ask? Well I'll explain.

Two days ago I decided to help out my best friend Jasper. He was on the student council at our school and part of his roll there was to pick up journals and bring them to the school. Recently there was a fire and part of the library was burnt down. Many books were lost and the librarian cried for weeks blah blah blah.

Therefore the parents on the education board in our town decided that people in the community should help the school out. Not like we needed it. It's a private school and some of the students are stinking rich. If it were that important they would donate money for new books. But no the education board though this was better.

So they were collecting journals. Now Jasper was meant to pick these journals up but since he decided to have an impromptu date he asked me to help him out. Me being the decent guy that I am, agreed.

Everything was fine until I stopped by Bella Swan's house. Bella and I were what you could only describe as friends who hated each other. Our friends liked the others so we were kind of stuck. Things used to be different, very different. Bella, Alice and I all grew up together as great friends but with age we seemed to fall apart. Bella and I stayed friends with Alice but we weren't friends with each other.

Anyway, her father had a bunch of journals and wanted to clear room in the house so decided to donate them. Her house was the last house I had to visit then I was to go back to the school, drop them off and everything would be done.

But no, God just had to make things difficult for me. Bella's father, Charlie told me that there were some other journals in Bella's room so I traipsed upstairs. On her desk was a pile of leather bound books which looked like journals so I put them in the box. I then scanned the room to see if there were anymore and saw one other, by her bed so I put that in the box too.

I left her bedroom and thanked Charlie before loading up my Volvo and driving back to school to drop them off. That was meant to be it, no hassle, a simple friend helping out another. But it didn't quite work like that.

When I arrived the next day a student council member named Eric was handing out some sort of book. Curiosity sparked me when I saw a load of other students reading it so I went over to see what it was and the title read '_Bella Swan's Diary Unleashed- The Truth Behind The Mask'_.

Turned out the book I grabbed next to her bed was her diary. The student council read it, printed it and made it into a book that they were now handing out, meaning I had screwed up big time.

Everyone saw it and everyone read it. Majority of the girls were outraged by it and majority of the guys thought it was hilarious. Bella got hold of a copy eventually and went straight to the student council president asking who picked up the journals at her house. He told her it was Jasper since they had him down for it so Bella went to yell at him. Jasper being the best friend that he is ratted me out and told her it was me who handed her diary in.

Great friends I have.

Last night she came round to my house and screamed bloody murder at me. To be honest I was a little scared. I've seen Bella angry before but not that angry. When she threatened to castrate me with a pencil I actually believed her. _She is definitely not one to be crossed._

Her last words to me were: '_I promise you I'm going to get you back for this. You are going to be just as embarrassed as I am right now.'_

It doesn't sound scary but at the time I was petrified. _I know, I'm a wimp_. But when Bella wants revenge she usually gets it and ends up humiliating you in the process. So that was what I had to look forward to.

I actually didn't think she would get me back but seeing as I woke up in my room naked I was beginning to think she was sticking to her threat.

When I first opened my eyes I scanned the room to see the clothes I took off yesterday were gone from the chair, majority of my belongings were gone, the sheets and pillows on my bed were also gone and I was naked. I definitely remembered wearing clothes when I went to sleep so I didn't know what the hell was going on.

I didn't have time to think of a reasonable excuse as someone opened the door to my bedroom. Automatically I moved my hand to cover myself up. The light from the hall was blinding me in the eyes so I lifted my other hand to block it and see who had come in.

Before I had even registered what was going on my left arm had been cuffed to my bedpost and Bella was standing over me smirking._ Oh damn her and her vengeful ways. _Her smile grew when she pulled out a Polaroid camera. _No this can't be getting worse._

"Smile!" she chimed from the bottom of my bed_. How was this even possible?_ There I was in my birthday suit when I happen to have one of the hottest girls at our school staring over me.

Even though I had never dated Bella I always had that schoolboy crush for her. She was an angel to me, and probably to most of the guys in our year. Her dark innocent brown eyes would have me doing anything she asked and I would always listen eagerly to the words falling out between her plump lush lips that I so badly wanted to kiss.

Knowing my thoughts were very dangerous in my current situation I immediately thought of my mother and all lustful thoughts died instantly. If I had become excited there would be no hiding it and that would have been ever worse than the predicament I was already in.

Bella snapped another picture of me as I readjusted a bit; trying to ensure every bit of me down there was covered.

"Bella what the hell! Where are my clothes? Why am I naked? And why the hell are you giggling?" I protested angrily at her causing her to giggle once more.

"Your clothes are hidden. You're naked because I told you I would get revenge and this was the best I could come up with in such short notice. And I'm giggling because this is actually pretty funny. Who knew I would have our resident hottie naked in front of me?" Her eyes roamed from mine down to my chest then made quick perusal of my legs. She blushed slightly when she looked at where my right hand was.

"You like?" I asked, smirking at her in my casual cocky manner.

I knew the effect I had on girls, and even some guys, so it wasn't a surprise when the pink tinge on her cheeks made its presence known. Bella blushed a lot and mainly when she was flustered. It became almost like a daily mission for me to get her to blush at least once.

Instead of the response I wanted she scoffed at me as though I had just said something completely ridiculous then flashed the camera again.

"I've seen better…and bigger." She winked, trying to act bravado but the increasing blush gave her away. _She_ _did not just say that. No. No. No._ Bella looked at her watch then giggled again. I didn't know what was going to happen but I did know I wasn't going to like it.

The phone on my right bedside table started ringing. _Please someone else get it. Please someone else get it, _I chanted in my mind. Then my younger brother, Masen, called through.

"Edward can you get that I'm about to go in the shower. It's probably mom or dad. We can't miss it so answer the phone."

I laid my head back in defeat. I then knew why she had cuffed my left arm to the bed. Oh she was evil. She giggled again after my brother had finished and smirked at me.

"Bella I get your point I embarrassed you but now you've got me back so do me favour and please hit the loudspeaker button on the phone?" she pondered thinking about it.

"Em…no I think you can get it." _No this is pure evil._ I exhaled loudly and shut my eyes. I didn't want to see her face when I reached over for the phone._ Here we go._

I quickly moved my right hand over and hit the loudspeaker button. I heard the noise from her camera going off again, telling me she had just snapped three photos. I then brought my hand back and waited for the person on the other end to speak.

"…………………………………"

By this point Bella was practically pissing herself on the floor. There was no one on the end of the line. Oh for Christ sake!

She walked over and hit the end call button.

"Well thank you Cullen. I'm sure everyone at school is just going to love these." With that she bent down and kissed me on the cheek, sending my heart beat all over the place. Before she walked away she snapped one more picture then placed a small key on my chest.

"Love ya." She pranced out my room then stuck her head round the door a few seconds later. "Your belongings are in the spare bedroom down the hall. See ya at school." Then she was gone.

I felt like a fool. What the hell was she going to do with those photos?

I was completely dreading school today.


	2. Chapter 2: Handcuffs Are Optional

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Two: Handcuffs Are Optional**

_Bella's POV_

Okay, thank god I was out of there. I could not believe I just did that. Cullen was going to kill me. It did seem fair after he humiliated me so now I was humiliating him but that was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I never knew he looked so good without his clothes on.

Phew, thankfully it was over.

I made my way out Edward's house to get into my car where my three friends were waiting. Last night we came up with this plan to get him back. Since my brother is best friends with Masen, Edward's brother, it all worked out fine. Masen decided to help us for nothing, we thought we were going to have to pay him but no, he thought watching his brother being humiliated would be payment enough.

So, Masen removed majority of Edward's belongings and took all his clothes and put them in the spare bedroom. The only thing Masen actually struggled with was getting Edward's boxers off. I think he cut them off with a pair of kitchen scissors. Anyway, he was in on the whole plan and gave us the one shot we would never have gotten. The phone call came from Masen's cell and I loved him for it.

I walked across the neatly kept lawn and threw myself into the driving seat of my car, my friends shrieking with questions immediately.

"Oh my god did you get the pictures?"

"What was he like without his clothes on?"

"What did he say when you cuffed him to the bed?"

"Is he hotter with his clothes on or off?"

"Did the phone call thing work?"

"How did you not just jump him when he was naked? I know I would've."

As you can probably tell one of my friends, Jessica, had a crush on Edward. Actually, majority of girls at our school do. My other friends, Alice and Rose were more down to earth type of girls. Since Alice is actually really good friends with Edward I was surprised to see that she agreed to help.

"Okay enough with the questions, just look at the pictures." With that I handed them to Jess who was in the backseat with Alice. She would moan if she didn't get them first.

"Oh my God! How could you resist him? Bella what the hell, there has to be something wrong with you if you decided just to leave him rather than have your wicked little way with him." I shook my head and started driving. I didn't have time to listen to this. I needed to get to school so I could get these pictures ready for Edward's arrival.

He was so going to hate me after today.

_Edward's POV _

I arrived at school and could already see the stares and hear the sniggering. So they were up somewhere, just super. I left the security of my car and ventured up out to my locker as every face I passed turned to look at me. Many of the guys were laughing and several of the girls were winking at me. Oh she was going to die after this. A few seconds later Emmett, my other best friend approached.

"Morning," he said trying to suppress a laugh. I shot a glare his way and he stopped.

"So I take it you saw them then." He laughed then nodded.

"Yep I'm pretty sure the whole school has." Bloody brilliant.

"Where are they?" He laughed harder.

"Oh you won't miss them." What the hell?

I tried to ignore Emmett whilst we made our way into the main building. The minute I opened the door I regretted it. There they were on the wall in front of me. But no they weren't your average photo size, they had been blown up.

_Oh someone kill me now._

A few of the crowding students saw me and nudged their friends. In a matter of seconds everyone standing there was looking at me. I ignored their looks and looked back up at the pictures. Thank god my hand was there.

Why didn't she print that last photo? I was glad that she didn't, that would have been more embarrassing, but I was just curious to see why she would go to the trouble of getting it if she wasn't even going to show it to someone.

I scanned the crowd quickly and noticed _her _standing on the balcony above, where the pictures were being hung from. The staircase to the balcony was on my right so I made my way over there. Everyone in my path moved aside like Moses and the Red Sea. I opened the door at the top of the stairs and Bella was smiling back at me.

"I told you I would get you back," she said pointedly.

"Yeah you did. Look just give me the photos and I'll be off," I said whilst advancing towards her.

Clearly she could sense my tone was one of no nonsense and just sighed before handing me the eight or so small Polaroids she had, then helped remove the five blown up ones on the walls. The minute we started removing them many girls, and a few guys, below started groaning. Not like it mattered, they probably all took pictures with their phones anyway.

Bella handed me two of the blown up pictures and looked at me anxiously. I laid the photos down and walked towards her. She was obviously scared as she walked back until she hit the wall.

I smirked at her for her response to me then put my arms on either side of her and leant forward to whisper in her ear.

_Bella's POV_

He was so close to me I could actually feel his breath against my cheek. At first I thought he was going to hit me so I walked backwards but I really didn't expect him to come this close. Just my luck that the whole school was watching from below and many had their phones out taking pictures.

"If you want to see me naked just ask. I have no issue in complying," Edward whispered in my ear. "Handcuffs are optional."

If he hadn't moved one of his arms and was securely holding me at the waist I would have collapsed. He stood back smirking and headed for the door with the pictures as I held on to the wall for dear life. The second I let go I was going to be on the floor.

At the door he turned round to me.

"By the way we're not even yet. I'm going to get you back for this." Then he walked out.

I would have believed his threat fully if only my mind was concentrating. I was too busy thinking back to what he just said to me. You would be too if a guy who was tall, has striking bronze hair you just want to run your fingers through, emerald eyes, and from what I saw earlier; an _amazing_ body, said _that _to you.

I felt light-headed immediately. _"Handcuffs are optional."_ God from that saying alone my mind ran straight to the gutter.

I had to sit down immediately.

_-------_

_Edward's POV_

After my torturous day at school Jasper and Emmett came back to my house to help me think of a way to get Bella back. She had made the day hellish. I was hounded by comments from girls asking me if I would come over to their house and strip for them.

Apparently Bella told her friends what I said and they thought I was handing out offers. That was not what I meant to happen; I just wanted to see her squirm.

Jasper and Emmett were sitting on the couch trying to watch something on the TV. Only problem was that I was pacing in front of it.

"We need to get her back. I need something that will humiliate her but also nothing too harsh cause I don't want to hurt her feelings. Emmett what ya got?" Emmett sighed then looked at me.

"Not much. I don't see how you can get her back for this. Come on it's not exactly going to be easy to outdo her. The girl's a genius when it comes to these things. I think we are out of our depth."

True. She had an evil mind and knew how to get revenge, though usually she wasn't directing it at me. Instead I'd get her icy looks and bitchy comments.

"I don't see why we have to get her back for this. You guys are even now. You printed her diary; she posted pictures of you nude. You're both done so let's just leave it at that," Jasper said whilst trying to see passed me.

"No, we are definitely not even. What I did was an accident, she's just being spiteful."

"But why do Emmett and I have to get involved? It's not like we did anything to her."

"Jasper you have to help because if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be in this mess and Emmett you have to help because you're the smartest out the lot of us at pulling pranks."

"Guilty as charged," Emmett said smugly.

"Enough ego boosting we need to think of something tonight." I sat down on the other couch and rolled onto my back. "It needs to be something brilliant that she would never expect."

Emmett was flicking channels after giving up watching the movie he missed half of. He turned the channel and there was a panel giving their opinions of the girl's pole dancing in front of them. We all looked at the screen then Jasper protested.

"Oh come on Emmett change the channel. I didn't come round here to watch porn," Em scoffed then turned to me.

"I have an idea."

"This can't be good," Jasper said whilst snatching the remote from Emmett's hand.

"Shut up. No honestly, I think it might work." Jazz and I both looked at him sceptically then heard him out.

About twenty minutes later we were all upstairs in my room. Jasper, being the genius he was with computers, was sitting at my laptop trying to hack into the school's email system.

"You know if we get caught we could get expelled, right?" Em and I looked at each other with wide-eyes. We did not know that. _Let's just pray we don't get caught._ "I'm in, her password has just been reset it is now 554KJN. Write that down."

Emmett grabbed a pen and scribbled it down on his arm. "Done!" he said proudly. That boy had too much energy sometimes.

"Okay I'm out the system now. Edward, you sure you want to do this?" I nodded.

"Yep. It's the best way to get her back."

"Okay then." Jasper typed frantically for a few seconds then asked Emmett to read the password back to him. Once we were logged into her account he opened up a blank email. "I'm done. It's your go I don't want anything to do with the next part."

With that Jasper vacated the seat and Emmett jumped straight in. "I have the perfect video for it. Don't ask how I saw this, I'd rather not explain." Em opened up another Internet tab and started hunting for the perfect video clip. After about five minutes he had attached it to the email.

"Are you sure the video will work? If it doesn't look like her then no one is going to reply," I asked whilst leaning against the wall. We were risking _a lot _by doing this and I would hate to get caught by a simple technicality.

"Oh I'm sure. The video is of rather poor quality so you can't actually see the person's face. The hair though is exactly like Bella's, same colour and length. It's perfect." Em stood up and waited for me to sit down.

Here we go, adding the icing to the cake, I thought.

I typed the message then addressed it to every male student over the age of 14 in our school. They were going to love this. I hovered the mouse above the send button and thought about what I was just about to do for a second.

If it went wrong or if someone got rough then she was going to have my balls and as I would prefer to keep them I really hoped it didn't fail. I clicked the send button then a message appeared on the screen '_message sent_'. Well it was too late to change my mind now.

The message read:

_Hello boys!_

_I made this video for all of you. I want your opinions. What did you think whilst watching it? Is my outfit okay? Oops sorry, what outfit?! Would you ever take a lap dance from me? Am I any good? _

_If you could email me back your thoughts I'd just love ya. Plus if you do email back I promise to give you a free lap dance and if you're lucky maybe something a little extra! _

_Love Bella_

_xxxxxxxxxx_

The video clip attached showed a girl pole dancing in basically nothing. She was so going to regret posting those pictures of me.

I couldn't wait to see her face.

_Bella's POV_

Rose, Alice and I were all celebrating our victory over Edward. His face was priceless. I would never forget that look. I also won't forget the look he gave me up on the balcony. Luckily I didn't collapse to the ground after he left. Alice and Rose had to help me though. I swear my brain had just turned to goo after his comment about handcuffs.

Someone that good-looking should not be allowed to say things like that.

We were all in my lounge watching a movie on the TV. Well okay we weren't exactly watching it we were just chatting over it.

The lounge had been designed in such a weird way. There were three couches facing inwards to a large coffee table in the middle and from them you can see straight to the plasma on the wall. Over to the right of the plasma was a desk with a computer on it. Currently my brother Charles was there. Behind the couches was a grand piano that no one ever plays and then there was the archway that led into the hall.

Rose was laughing about something stupid Alice said, and then we all got the fright of our lives.

"Aghh!" Charles screeched from the computer as he fell off the chair. The three of us screamed, as we didn't know what was going on, then burst into hysterics once we realised nothing scary was happening.

"You whore!" my brother yelled at me once he had gotten off the floor. Well that certainly stopped the laughter.

"Excuse me?!" I asked, completely outraged by what he had just called me.

"How could you do that? And even worse why for the love of God would you send it to your brother? You make me sick," he said. All three of us looked at each other and they shrugged clearly as confused as I was.

"Charles what are you talking about?"

"You…your…you sent me an email of you…I can't believe I'm going to say this…you sent me an email of you pole dancing." There was a thud after his sentence had finished. Alice had fallen off the couch

"What did he just say?" she asked bringing her head above the coffee table.

I raced over to the computer and right enough; there was a video of a girl who looked like me pole dancing. "That's not me! That's someone who looks like me! Who the hell sent you this?"

"You did!" Charles protested.

"No I bloody didn't." Then it clicked into place. That sneaky son of a bitch. I was going to kill him. I was actually going to kill him. "Who else was sent this email?" Charles walked over to the screen and clicked on the details button. A new tab came up listing everyone's email from at least two years below. I almost passed out after I saw that.

Okay so maybe I underestimated Edward Cullen. I thought he would just forget about it but no, clearly not. Rose and Alice were now standing over my shoulder pissing themselves.

"Guys it's not funny, everyone's going to think I'm a whore!" I whined. Alice composed herself then spoke, whilst Rose was practically rolling about the floor laughing.

"Well he came through with his threat. Look he's clearly not doing this alone, I know Edward and he's not that smart, someone else hacked into your account and I believe that someone else was Jasper. I don't know what Emmett had to do with this but it must have been something. Whatever it was we'll get them back. I promise."


	3. Chapter 3: Waxing

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer_

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Three: Waxing**

_Bella's POV_

So it turned out there were _a lot _of perverts in our school. I had over 600 replies to that bloody email and many of them wanted to pay me for something extra. I obviously am not a hooker but apparently they didn't get that.

The following day, when I first arrived at school, three different guys accosted me. All of who might not be able to have kids the way I left them. Served them right. I was still in a pretty pissed off mood when I noticed Edward in his car. I walked briskly over to him so he didn't have time to run.

"Cullen." I yelled causing him to jumped and look at me like a deer caught in headlights. It was rather amusing to see actually. He rolled his eyes when he saw me laugh and stepped out his car.

"So I didn't know you could pole dance?" He said whilst a lopsided grin made its way across his face.

I glared at him and he chuckled. I hate that chuckle. Every girl melts for that chuckle and now even I do. _What happened to my defences?_ I used to be able to resist everything Edward Cullen related but now I felt weak. I felt like I could step forward and kiss him.

Too bad he's such a git or I probably would have.

"Hahaha, very funny. Thanks to you, people now think I'm a prostitute. Plus why the hell did you send it to my brother? Do you know how scared he was?" He laughed then pulled me towards him and we started walking towards the main building with his arm round my shoulder.

"Bella it's not that bad. At least that wasn't actually you in that video. I can't say the same about those pictures though. Sorry about Charles I honestly forgot he would get it. I'll apologise to him later. So now that we're even how abou…" I cut him off.

"What? We are not even! Not close at all to being even. I am going to get you back for that. I have no idea why you thought we were now even but most definitely not. I'll see you later." I pushed his arm off my shoulder, might I add it felt very comfortable there, and walked to first period.

Luckily I didn't have any classes with Edward that day so I managed to keep out of his way. Unfortunately I did have classes with male students and everyone who saw it decided to make some remark or comment. If I had it my way they would all be castrated by a spoon. Therefore slow and very painful, just what they deserved.

At lunch Alice, Rose and Jess joined me. We sat outside on the grass overlooking the outdoor tennis courts.

"So how do we hurt him?" I asked Rose and Alice. Rose just laughed then looked at Alice to respond.

"Do you mean physically hurt him or hurt his reputation etc? Which one?"

"Em…well we tried to hurt his reputation already but I think that just gave his ego a boost so let's physically hurt him. Sound good?" They nodded.

Edward and Jasper ran onto the tennis court in front of us a few seconds later. They were probably the two best players in our year. Jasper noticed us staring and indicated to Edward. He turned round then winked at me causing Jess to almost pass out at seeing this. Trust her.

They started volleying the ball back and forth.

"Oh god would you look at his legs." Jess swooned next to me.

"They're a bit hairy." Alice pointed out.

"No I mean the muscles on his legs." Then it came to me.

"Wait, go back to what you just said." They both looked at me like I was mad but Alice repeated it anyway.

"His legs are a bit hairy. Why? What is it?" I smirked at them.

"I have just worked out how we are going to hurt Edward Cullen. All it requires is him and a home waxing kit." Alice and Rose laughed when they heard what I had in store but Jess declared she couldn't have anything to do with hurting her love's feelings. So after she ran off to join Lauren Mallory's squad we got plotting.

Oh it was going to be so much fun.

* * *

It was about 1 am before we made it to Edward's house. Who knew it could be so hard to find in the dark? Masen waited up and let us in then showed us to Edward's room.

We opened the door and there he was sleeping on the bed. I had to admit he looked really cute whilst he slept. Edward was sprawled across the sheets and had kicked his duvet off of him. He was only wearing boxers and my eyes couldn't help but roam over that gorgeous body of his.

The three of us shut the door lightly and Alice turned on her torch. Rose stood on the left side of the bed and started rummaging through her bag for the wax strips. She pulled them out then whispered out the instructions.

"It says that all we have to do is rub our hands on the wax strips then pull each end apart and apply it to the skin, rub it again once placed then wait 5 seconds and pull the wax strip away. Sounds simple enough. Here." Then she handed us each one.

Now, we realised in the car we would only get one chance to do this. The minute we pulled the wax strip off he was going to wake up so we had to do it all together. We also decided to be a little bit cruel and wax somewhere else. Rose mentioned it as a joke but it seemed like a good idea so we decided to do it anyway.

Alice applied her wax strip to his right leg and waited for Rose and me to apply ours. Rose then applied hers and they both looked at me.

"Come on Bella just do before he wakes up or something." I walked towards him and pulled the band of his boxers down. It was just covering him; basically if I pulled any lower I would see _everything_. I applied the wax strip then looked at Rose and Alice.

"You have to rub it." Alice giggled out. _Oh for God's sake_. I did as they said; praying that a certain body part wouldn't spring into action. Thank god it didn't.

Just before we were about to pull them off Rose reached into her bag and pulled out her video camera. She placed it on the table at the end of the bed and hit record.

"Go." She whispered.

Alice and Rose pulled their wax strips up. Just like we suspected he woke up and screeched. He saw what was going on and then I ripped my wax strip up causing him to scream like a little girl.

It was loud, it was high and it was funny. Alice and Rose were on the floor in hysterics laughing at him. Edward had rolled over and was moaning into the pillow. We managed to recompose ourselves briefly and decided to get the hell out of there. Rose threw the video camera in her bag and we dashed out the door. We were still laughing as we stumbled about his lawn thinking about his reaction though we knew he was definitely not laughing.

I think it was safe to say that he was going to hate me now.

_Edward's POV_

Jasper and Emmett came over when I arrived at school. They stood next to my car and waited for me to get out. I opened my mouth to greet them but stopped immediately when I saw them clearly. Jasper was missing an eyebrow and Emmett had a chunk of his hair missing. I burst out laughing and they both glared at me.

"Sorry…it's just…what happened to the both of you?" I asked trying to regain myself.

"You're what happened. They knew we helped you and decided to get us back for it. I woke up this morning with half my hair gone!" Emmett protested.

"Exactly. If we hadn't helped _you _then we would have been fine. I look so weird now. Everyone's laughing at me too. This is your fault." Jasper moaned. Emmett then looked me over from head to toe. If I didn't know what he was looking for I would have thought he was checking me out.

I know for a fact that it's not obvious what they did to me. I was wearing jeans so they couldn't see my legs and there was no possible way for them to see the other waxed area. _God that hurt like a bitch._

"What did they do to you?" I opened my mouth to speak but then the devil herself walked up and answered.

"Oh you can watch what we did to him. Here." She handed him a piece of paper with a website address on it. "You're very popular Edward. In less than 8 hours you already have over 60,000 views. I personally think that it's the scream that everyone loves so much. Who knew a guy like you would scream like a girl."

Both Jasper and Emmett raised their total of three eyebrows at me and smirked. They both walked off leaving me with Bella, no doubt to watch the video clip. I turned to her and she smiled brightly my way.

"Well Edward I've made you a hit in the school and across the internet, what are you going to do for me?" She asked smugly. I glared at her then started to walk off to my first class, even though it didn't start for another 20 minutes. "Oh don't be like that. Come on it was only fair, you made me a prostitute!" I just looked at her then continued walking. I couldn't compete with her. She would kick my ass every time and I hated knowing I was defeated.

_Bella's POV_

Edward stalked off to first class leaving me rather speechless. Maybe I had gone too far. It was only a joke and as far as I knew I thought he knew that too. Apparently not. Maybe I should apologise. No definitely not. That would never happen. He'd just hold that over my head until the day I died. Oh what did it matter, he would get over it eventually.

I walked over to meet Alice whilst she was getting out her car.

"Hey." I greeted her smiling. I looked in her car, expecting to see Rose; Alice usually gave her a lift to school.

"Hey, Rose's not coming. She claimed to be sick this morning. I personally think that she's just too tired to get her lazy ass out of bed." Sounded about right.

"I need you to do me a favour."

"Okay, what do you need?" Alice answered as we walked our way to the lockers.

"I need you to talk to Edward. He doesn't seem to be in a very good mood and I think that might be my fault. I'm not sure if I took this too far or if he's just being moody. Either way can you talk to him?"

"Yeah. I've known him all my life and if he's being quiet then he's either thinking of a way to get us back or he's actually pissed. I think it's more likely to be the first one because man that must have hurt. So you seen Jasper or Emmett yet?"

"Yep. They look even better in the sun. Jasper probably looks the strangest considering he's missing an eyebrow." We arrived at our lockers that were right next to each other luckily enough.

"I'll talk to him next, we have the same class. I'll tell you how it goes at lunch, okay?" I nodded then Alice made her way to her first class. I changed my books then headed off, impatiently wanting the first double to be over so I could find out what was wrong with Edward.

It was surely about to be an eventful Friday.

_Edward's POV_

I walked into Maths early. It was only the teacher, Mr Montgomery, and me. He was clearly surprised to see me as he raised his eyebrows then smiled. Great he probably thought he had found his new teachers pet. I could just bet that he was going to ask me countless questions throughout the lesson.

Next to arrive was Alice. She smiled at me when she entered and I returned it. Somehow I couldn't stay mad at her after last night. I've known her too long to lose her over such a silly thing like this.

"So how are you on this fine morning Edward?" She said while sitting down next to me. Clearly she was out of her mind as it certainly wasn't a fine morning; it had just started to rain.

"Eh…I'm okay. Could have done without the waxing last night but other than that, I'm good." She could sense I was kidding as she laughed then shook her head.

"So you know it was just a joke?"

"Oh I see where this is coming from. She spoke to you, didn't she?" Alice shook her head and tried to play innocent.

"Who? I have no idea what you're talking about." She answered coyly.

"Of course you don't." I leant over the desk so I was now facing her cheek. My left hand was rubbing her back, her breath caught in her throat, giving me the effect I was looking for. She stayed very still and kept looking forward.

"Edward I don't know what you want or what you're going to say but keep it polite because I know you can never hold your tongue."

"I'm very good with my tongue actually. Maybe I could give you a demonstration some time." Her breathing was all over the place. I was shoved back in to the chair and she scowled at me and crossed her arms over her chest.

"That's not fair Cullen and you know that. I'm not one of you fuck buddies so go find someone else." She was angry with me but the smile on her lips told me that she wasn't really annoyed and I hadn't done any lasting damage.

I laughed then looked over the room at the teacher who was coughing nervously and looked all hot and bothered, maybe he heard my comment. That wasn't a very good thing since I used to date his daughter. God his mind must have been going crazy.

The class slowly started to pile in after that and Alice stayed silent the whole time. I guess you could say I deserved that but it was still fun to watch her squirm. Just not as fun as watching Bella though.

_Bella's POV_

I sat down at the lunch table waiting for Alice to arrive. A few minutes later she came in and joined me.

"So what did you find out? Is he annoyed with me?" I asked eagerly.

"Well I kind of don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? What happened?"

"Well I asked him and he thought I was only asking because you wanted to know. I tried to play innocent but he saw right through it. Then he was hitting on me, the prick. He promised that he would never use his dazzling good looks and charming charisma against me but look what happened. God and he also offered me a free demonstration to see how good his tongue is." My mind was jugging about all over the place. What was going on?

"Wait, what? I thought you and Edward were just friends?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. We are. It's ridiculous, he does this sometimes, pushes the boundaries because he knows he can and no one will stop him. Jasper will flip when he finds out Edward was flirting with me, no matter how innocent it was." She said the last part quietly; I think it was more to herself rather than to me.

"Why would Jasper flip?" She looked up wide-eyed at me.

"Eh…well...I'm kind of dating him." I practically spat my water at her when she said that. She was certainly keeping that to herself.

"You're dating Jasper?" She nodded. "Since when?"

"We've been dating for about 3 weeks now."

"Why didn't either of you say anything?"

"Because we didn't want to cause a fuss and Jasper was worried about how Edward would take it."

"Why would Edward care?"

"Jasper thinks that he would be annoyed about us dating and that it would cause a problem between their friendship so we just never said anything. You can't say anything either. Jasper will want to tell Edward himself so we just need to keep it quiet."

"Okay. I won't say anything…So you don't know if Edward is annoyed?"

"He didn't seem annoyed. He was in a rather playful mood, be careful of that. He gets rather excited like this."

"Why?"

"He gets flirty and his ego overflows. He'll make a play for anyone, even his best friend." She rolled her eyes then shrugged and shook her head.

"What's wrong with him being flirty?" I blurted out. Alice looked at me with a big smile across his face.

"Does someone have a crush on Edward Cullen?" She said hinting towards me.

"No. I. Certainly. Do. Not." I replied.

"You do. Don't lie, it's rude. Maybe you should take him up on his offer."

"What offer?" I asked rather confused. Surely I would remember an offer from Edward.

"Handcuffs are optional. You should take them. Make things spicy." She giggled and I swatted her arm.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked whilst sitting rather close to me. He sat down and wrapped his arm round my waist pulling me even closer than I would have liked.

"Oh nothing." Alice chimed. Jasper and Emmett also came and joined us. They all sparked up some conversation about a band or some music thing. I was too distracted as Edward's hand was caressing my waist. It felt rather nice and I felt like I was beginning to swoon for Edward Cullen.

That must have meant the end of the world.

Edward was smirking at me and tilted his head towards my ear.

"You look really good today." He inhaled slightly. "You also smell amazing." His hand continued to caress my waist and he ran his fingers along my thigh. I almost melted. My brain then jumped into action and I slapped his fingers away, causing his smirk to increase.

"You don't like my fingers?" He whispered.

"No."

"Well maybe you haven't experienced their real talents yet." His fingers had started roaming across my waist and thigh again. "In the right circumstances you'll _love _them. They'll make you scream my name." I turned to him and pushed his arms away from me. He smirked then placed his arms on the table.

I couldn't quite focus after what he said. I sat there dazed the whole lunch. Everyone at the table was talking but my mind was roaming over the steamy thoughts Edward had suggested_. Okay fine, I admit it, I like him._ Who wouldn't? He looked irresistible.

_When I lose all my inhibitions I'll jump him,_ I decided.

_Edward's POV_

She looked good today. I liked the playful banter we had earlier. It was refreshing. A nice break from all this revenge that has been swarming us lately. That was one thing I still needed to decide on. Do I try and get her back for what she did to me recently or do I let it go and just cut my losses while I still can? It didn't seem like I'd ever be able to outdo her, she had a purely evil mind. I don't think I stood a chance.

For the remainder of the lunch period she stayed silent. _Oh what I'd do just to be able to hear her inner thoughts._ I so desperately wanted to know what went on behind those big brown eyes of hers. It was annoying that that could never happen.

After school I went back to my house by myself. Emmett had a date and Jasper was studying with Alice over at her house. So it was just lonely old me.

Masen had pissed off with Charles so the house was empty. I mucked about in my room for majority of the night. However, at around 9 o'clock the door bell rang. I was honestly surprised as Masen had a key so it shouldn't be him, our parents were spending the remainder of the month in London, and other than that no one comes over.

I traipsed down the stairs and opened the door to see Bella standing before me. She put her finger to my lips when I opened them to speak. Shaking her head she pulled out handcuffs. I was completely shocked by the gesture but it didn't take me too long to remember what I had offered her.

I smirked then pulled her into the house_. I do believe that my night is just about to get so much better._


	4. Chapter 4: Escapades & Hair Loss

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Four: Escapades & Hair Loss**

_Edward's POV _

_I smirked then pulled her into the house. I do believe that my night was just about to get so much better. _

I shut the door and turned to Bella. She had an evil glint to her eyes. I walked towards her and put my hand on her waist. With no rejections I leant in and kissed her. Granted I didn't want to dive straight into things so I kissed her softly, just to see if she was repulsed. Thankfully she wasn't, therefore I increased the pressure and pace.

Bella tugged on my shirt whilst walking backwards and we slowly made our way up the stairs. If I was not careful this could lead to something that I don't know if I really want to do. I know I sound like an idiot but it was true. Hell, I should just get this out in the open, I was a virgin and I didn't want my first time to be some random, sleazy one night stand. No, that was not going to happen here.

We edged into my room, my lips never leaving hers. She slowly moved her hands from my hair and started to undo the buttons on my shirt. After they were all undone my shirt made its way to the floor. Eventually to follow was her top, skirt, and my jeans. Basically that left her in her underwear and me in my boxers. Thank god I had chosen plain black ones to wear, I would have hated for her to see the bright pink boxers I had in my drawer. I definitely needed to throw them out.

I was pushed backwards onto the bed, Bella coming to straddle me. _Okay now would be a great time to control yourself Edward._ _Do not get too excited, that's the last thing we need right now. Right let's just calm ourselves._

Bella's hair was brushing against either side of my cheeks as she kissed me. "What's that smell? It's like strawberries?" I asked.

"Yeah I use strawberry shampoo." She then leant back in and kissed me again. She was certainly good at that.

Bella pulled back again, giving us both time to catch our breath then edged herself further down my thighs and pulled the waist band of my boxers down revealing the freshly waxed skin. Luckily she hadn't pulled it any lower or I would have been fully exposed. She giggled then looked at me.

"Well didn't I do a good job of waxing here?" she said, running her finger across the skin. Jesus she was making this hard. No wrong word. She was making this difficult, definitely not hard. That would be the worst thing right now, I thought. I groaned in response and thrust my head back into the pillow. She giggled again. "Why's the skin bright pink?"

"Because you pulled the wax strip off the wrong way. It damaged the skin."

"Oops. Sorry."

"It's okay, I guess." She moved her hands to continue pulling my boxers down. I needed to stop us before it got too far and I wouldn't be able to stop. I turned us over quickly so Bella was under me, which she didn't seem to mind much as she moaned when I began to kiss her again.

What happened next was, I guess, a good thing but it hurt like bloody hell. The phone rang on the bedside table and Bella got such a fright that she shoved me off of her which sent me off the bed. Unfortunately I hit my head on the way down to the floor and earned myself a cracking bruise.

"Aghh! Shit," I groaned from the floor, wrapping my hands over my head.

"Oh my god, Edward I'm so sorry!" Bella hollered from the bed. She leant over it to look at me on the floor. I whimpered in response still clutching my head. Well that was one way to kill the mood.

Bella stood up, put on my shirt from the floor and raced out the room. I could hear her run down the stairs then rummage around in the kitchen. About a minute later she came running back into my room and sat me up on the bed.

"Here this should help." She pulled away my hands then placed the ice onto the bruised area. "I'm so sorry Edward. I honestly didn't mean to shove you that hard."

"I know...It's alright." I sat there staring at her. She looked good in my shirt; she should wear it more often.

"It's just rotten luck that we didn't get to use the handcuffs," she said smiling at me.

"Yeah." That sounded a bit slurred, why?

"Edward are you okay?" she asked slightly wide eyed and concerned.

"Yeah...I'm great...just super," I chimed back.

"No your definitely not. I think you might have damaged your head from that fall. Why don't you lie down on the bed, just here and I'll make sure your okay."

"You sure?" My voice was a bit high there, weird.

"Yeah." She nodded then pushed me on to my back. I don't remember much after that. For all I know, she could have stayed with me or she could have left.

The next morning I woke up with a splitting headache. I checked in the mirror and saw that I had a very noticeable bruise on the right side of my forehead. Super.

_Bella's POV _

I don't know what came over me last night; it was like I lost all my inhibitions and just became crazy. I guess you would have to be crazy to proposition Edward Cullen like that. My god he was never going to let this go. His ego was probably overflowing. Well maybe not completely since that bruise on the side of his face surely wouldn't earn him any points.

That was one night I was certainly not about to forget. It was actually rather fun, Edward was a lot of fun when he lost his self control. I was a bit bummed that I had to go ruin things and throw him off the bed though. Things could have been really good; they definitely would have been if the rumours about Edward were true.

Thank god it was Saturday and I didn't have to see him today. It was just my bloody luck when the door went, and guess who it was? That's right, the one and only Edward Cullen, supporting a very fashionable bruise on his forehead.

"What do you want?" He chuckled then sauntered into my house. "Edward I'm serious, what do you want?"

"I wanted to continue where we left off last night." He leant towards me making me inhale the full effect of his aftershave. He needed to wear this more often. I wasn't sure if I felt light headed because it could be strong or the fact Edward was leaning that close to me and looking that irresistible. _Okay, let's focus._

"No Edward you weren't really up to par so I'm not sure if I'll really benefit from another round with you." He scoffed at me.

"What do you mean I wasn't up to par?" I laughed and walked into the living room. Edward followed, waiting for my answer.

"Well basically you couldn't get it up so I don't think I'll be fully satisfied when I sleep with you." He gaped at me.

"What are you talking about? I can get it up I just wasn't trying."

"Why you scared?" I chuckled then turned on the TV. Edward walked up and turned it off.

"No I'm not scared...it's just...oh never mind. So basically you're saying that there is nothing between us." I nodded.

"Yep, absolutely nothing." He looked away then stormed out. I think I might have upset him there. Like it mattered, he'd bounce back, he always does.

_Edward's POV_

_Okay she might hate me if this goes right but hopefully it won't._

I made my way quickly up her stairs. This was rather spiteful but I wasn't bothered. After the waxing session, the bruise from last night, and her crude remarks just a second ago I think it was time for some pay back.

I entered the bathroom at the top of the hall positive it was the one Bella uses seeing as its right next to her bedroom. In the cupboard I found exactly what I was looking for: Hair Removal Cream. Glanced in the shower I picked up the strawberry flavoured shampoo. From last night's experience I know for a fact this was what she uses to make her beautiful brown locks smell so good.

Taking the cap off the bottle I poured majority of the shampoo down the drain. Next I took the hair removal cream and squirted it into the shampoo bottle. The instructions on the back of the bottle fitted exactly what I needed to make this work: _Apply shampoo to dry hair, leave in for 3 minutes, and then rinse thoroughly with warm water. _

It would be perfect. Granted I was hitting below the belt as I knew how much Bella loved her hair. Anyway, it wouldn't remove all the hair, only some. This was payback for Emmett, Jasper and me. She took our hair so I was going to take hers. Maybe I was being a little immature but who cares, I'm young so I'm allowed to be immature.

I finished, putting the shampoo bottle back into the shower and threw away the hair removal cream tube. Bella was still in the living room watching TV when I descended the stairs. Luckily Charles was out with Masen so there was no chance of me getting caught. I walked quietly through the hall then exited out the front door. In order to get away without her realising I'd have to start my car quietly.

It roared to life which was pretty crap but I drove so fast away from her house if she was to look she shouldn't be able to tell it was my car. I was safe now.

_Bella's POV _

"Charles I'm going in the shower," I hollered through the house. He had arrived back about twenty minutes ago with Masen from doing God only know what.

"No, you can't. I need in first, we're leaving in about ten minutes so let me shower before you," Charles demanded whilst pushing past me and entering the bathroom. The shower started up, telling me I wasn't getting in anytime soon, so I sat on the stairs overlooking the hall.

Masen came by a few minutes later and sat down beside me.

"So you and my brother, huh? Never saw that one coming," he said, smirking at me. He always did think there was something between Edward and me. I always thought it was between Edward and Alice but apparently I was wrong about that.

"No there is nothing between Edward and me; actually we're not even friends," I told him curtly. He scoffed then smiled at me.

"Sure sure. Well maybe you think there is nothing between the two of you but I would check with Edward 'cause he seems to think there is."

"No he doesn't." He laughed.

"Yeah he does. God princess, are you blind? Of course he thinks there is something between both of you, what with the booty call you made last night." I sat up quickly and turned to him suddenly.

"What? He told you about that?" I asked in disbelief. Masen burst out laughing then turned to me.

"Actually no, I took a guess but it turned out to be true. I heard him mumbling this morning about how he got that bruise on his face; he said your name and something that involved handcuffs. I didn't know you had it in you princess. Hey, if your ever looking for a good time come find me, I'm a sure thing. Edward's a bit inexperienced if you know what I mean." He flashed his eyebrows up at me then smirked.

"What, Edward's a virgin?" I asked smiling slightly. That just makes him too cute. Hell, he's all talk but apparently no action.

"Oh yeah! Edward is a complete virgin. He's had loads of girls fall at his feet but he takes the moral ground and refuses to sleep with them until it means something. God what an idiot, hell who would turn you down, he's got to be crazy."

"Well I would never have thou..." I was cut off suddenly by yelling and swearing from the bathroom behind.

Charles came racing out in a towel with a chunk of his hair in his hands.

"What the hell? My hair is falling out! Christ!"Masen burst out laughing when he saw Charles and collapsed on the stairs. "Bella why did you do this to me? What the hell did I do to you? Hell, I kept your secret about you fancying Edward and I kept the fact that it was actually you who blew the credit card last month, do you know how much shit I got in for that?" No he did not just say that thing about Edward in front of Masen.

Masen had stopped laughing and was grinning wildly at me. I knew it was coming.

"_You _fancied my brother! My god Bella I would never have guessed. I take it no one knows about that?" Charles cut in.

"No, wait, that's not the issue at hand. My hair is falling out! Look at me, half of it is not there. There are chunks missing and I have a small bald patch. How am I to get screwed looking like this?"

"Sorry Charles but I don't think that should be your main worry. What shampoo did you use?"

"The strawberry one." Masen started laughing again. "Hey! The girls like the smell of it. I score better that way." Oh please!

"Did I ever tell you that you're a man-whore?" Charles smiled.

"And proud of it." He winked at me then raced back into the bathroom.

A few seconds later the electric shaver went off. Charles exited the bathroom a several minutes after with a buzz cut. Oh he looked dreadful. Masen burst out laughing again then clapped my brother on the back. They walked back off to Charles's room, leaving me in the hall rather stunned.

I entered the bathroom to take my shower. The place was a mess. There was a lot of hair lying around the shower floor and the strawberry shampoo was lying open against the unit. I picked it up and squirted some onto my hand. It certainly didn't smell like strawberries. Glancing round the bathroom I began looking for any hint to what it could be. That's when I saw it, the hair removal cream tube in the bin.

I walked back to my room and sat down at my laptop. There was no point taking a shower now, not until Charles cleaned the bathroom. I logged in to instant messenger and saw Edward online, figuring I may as well speak to him.

_Bella: Hey, you left abruptly. You didn't even get to hear my counter offer._

_Edward: Well you clearly weren't interested so I thought I would bail. But I'm willing to hear it. On another note how's your hair?_

That son of a bitch! It was him. Oh I was going to kick his ass. Better yet I would have my fun with him. _Let's get Edward flustered, see where he turns to._

_Bella: My hair's fine actually, beautiful as always. Anyway I'm going to have the house to myself tonight so why don't you come round. We'll have a lot of fun, I promise. They'll be whipped cream, handcuffs and maybe if you're lucky I'll throw in a sexy outfit for you. Interested?_

There was a long pause before Edward finally responded.

_Edward: What time do I come over at?_

_Bella: 9pm. Cya xxxxx_

I logged off and raced out to my car. I guess I should be prepared for tonight. In other words, I needed to buy whipped cream, sexy lingerie, condoms (just to scare him, I really doubt he'll be willing to jump in the sack with me) and just for effect; lubricant. Oh that would kill him. This was surely going to be one of the best nights of my life.


	5. Chapter 5: The Four P's Of Sex

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Five: The Four P's of Sex**

_Bella's POV _

I started the car and drove to the convenience store on the other side of town. I could not have my parent's friends seeing me with condoms, lubricant, and whipped cream. I would be grounded forever if they knew. It was not like I was going to do anything, just scare him. Unfortunately they would never believe that so it was better to be safe than sorry.

I whizzed round the store and placed everything I needed into the basket. I reached the condoms but and had no idea which ones to choose, obviously I wanted to scare him and didn't intend on sleeping with him but I needed it to look like I would. I just grabbed five or six boxes off the shelf all ranging from size, texture and flavour then threw them in the basket. The same applied for the lubricants, I picked about four different types ranging from warming gel, cooling gel, one had a flavour to it and the other was just ordinary. They were all in the basket with the whipped cream. For some reason I was not that embarrassed with having items that just scream 'wild sex' in the basket alone. Who were people to judge?

But once I got to the check out I wished I had put other things in the basket as I stood in the only queue available. The guy in front of me turned round and smiled, he hadn't looked down yet, and this guy just happened to be my principal who also is a fishing buddy of my dad's. Great!

Mr. Moore greeted me with a smile, which I returned as I tried to hide my basket behind my back. Mrs. Moore then came rushing from behind me hollering to her husband. She tried to walk past me but my dang basket was in the way. She knocked it out my hands and the contents spilled across the floor right in front of Mr. and Mrs. Moore.

She apologized and both her husband and her bent down to help me pick them up. Mrs. Moore handed me the whipped cream then made some joke about making a dessert. I wasn't listening, I was panicking. Mr. Moore grabbed a box of condoms then went to hand them to me.

"Oh here are your strawberry flav-vo-our-ed con-d-do-ms." He had gone bright red and so had I. I grabbed them from his hand quickly and threw them into the basket. He then glanced down at the other boxes surrounding us on the floor and I swear it looked like he was about to have a coronary.

Mrs. Moore was oblivious to the contents of my basket so far as she just grabbed them and helped put them into the basket without reading the label. Mr. Moore couldn't look my way and was glancing everywhere but at me. It had to have been the worst trip to the convenience store I had ever taken.

"Honey why don't we let Bella go in front of us since she looks in a rush, someone waiting at home?" she asked me sweetly. I don't think she realized that her words paled Mr. Moore's face and he looked like he was about to faint. I smiled meekly then they stepped aside to let me in front. I thought the ordeal was over but that cursed warming lubricant had to come back and bite me in the ass.

"Oh Bella sweetie here's one more." She bent over and grabbed it off the floor. "It's your warming lubricant gel…Oh my!" She turned to her husband with wide eyes. He indicated for her to take a look in my basket. I swear I was about to die. Things couldn't get any more embarrassing.

I quickly handed the items to the guy behind the till and waited for him to ring them up.

"Want some company?" He winked at me. I shook my head. "I'll make you come……back for more." He then laughed at his sick joke.

"No thanks." I handed him the money and took the bag from him.

Fricken pervert.

_Edward's POV _

_Well tonight should be fun_. Yeah right. What the hell had I gotten myself into? For starters, I don't just want to go over there and sleep with her randomly; even I don't have that in me. Yes, I have had the opportunity to do that often but don't want to hurt the girls. If I don't care enough to date them then I clearly don't care enough to sleep with them.

I left the study and traipsed to my room. It was five o'clock, which left me with four hours until I need to find some way to bail on her or at least go over there but try not to take things too far. That was definitely going to be difficult but I would try.

My room was still bare from Bella's raid that night, I couldn't be bothered bringing my things back through. I lay down on the bed and looked over to the photos on the wall. Alice put them up when my parents bought this house a few years ago. Every so often she would come over and add more to the collection.

They ranged from when I was a toddler playing in the sandpit with Alice and Bella to earlier this week when we were pissing about during lunch. Some of them just made me smile. They told a lot about my friendship as well. There was one from the first time I met Bella, in the sandpit. She hit me over the head with an orange cup then I cried. Alice insists that this is the cutest picture I have on my wall since it shows how Bella and my relationship hasn't changed over the years.

The door opened downstairs and I heard Masen and Charles make their way in. I got up and walked down the stairs to see what they were up to, and to ask Charles if he knew what Bella planned on doing tonight. What could she have in store for me? When I overheard their conversation I stopped immediately.

"So when exactly did Bella fancy Edward?" Masen asked, laughing.

"Oh god, it was like last year, roughly around the same time Edward had a crush on Bella."

"And neither of them knew?"

"Nope. Edward was oblivious because Bella acted more like Rose when she likes someone and bitches them out. Bella did everything she could to ignore him."

"God, those two are ridiculous. They both should just admit they like each other and stop dancing around the issue."

"I know. But I'm pretty sure things are going to change tonight."

"How so?" Masen asked.

"Well you remember the pot head who sold us weed from the convenience store across town?" I heard my brother agree and knew I'd have to kick his ass for that later. "That was the guy who called me in the car. Apparently my sister just bought a stock load of condoms, whipped cream and lubricating gels."

"Ooh! You serious?"

"Yeah."

"Bloody hell, the resident virgin is going to get laid tonight. Do you think we should educate him on technique?" I stood their disgusted. Masen had turned in to a horror and I was really going to have to clip his ear for acting so foul. Then again I wasn't exactly a gentleman either.

"You can but I'd rather not. She is my sister after all," Charles pointed out.

"Yeah but you know she's not a virgin."

"Yeah I know but still, it's pretty gross to think about." Masen must have agreed but then I heard Charles leave.

I quickly dashed into the living room and grabbed a book from the coffee table, trying to act nonchalant.

"Oh Edward, where are you?" Masen called. "Ah look…what are you reading?" he asked after he spotted me.

"A book, what does it look like?"

"I didn't know you could read upside down." He shrugged and flopped down on the couch opposite, giving me a chance to finally take in the details of the page I had it open at. Right enough the book was upside down. _Way to go Edward, very nonchalant._

"Look bro, I came to educate you because I think you're going to become a man very soon." I shot him a glare, warning him not to continue but he just went on anyway. "There is something you should always remember when having sex, the 4 P's." I was going to get up and hit him but he had me confused and dare I say, interested.

"The what?"

"The 4Ps. Pain, Pleasure, Pace and Pressure." I looked at him like he was crazy. "What? Those are the four things you need to cover." He shrugged then rolled his eyes. "You're so innocent, brother of mine. Anyway, Pain needs to be minimum, Pleasure needs to be maximum, Pace needs to be slow for the first time to lower Pain and increase Pleasure, and finally Pressure needs to be gentle first time to lower Pain and increase Pleasure." He beamed proudly with himself.

"Now obviously if you're going to sleep with someone who's not a virgin like yourself then things are a bit different but you should make sure Pleasure stays maximum and Pain is minimum unless they…I don't know, like that sort of stuff. Whatever, the Pressure and Pace can be altered to what they like but since you're a Cullen I know you won't be that poor in bed."

"You're a pervert you know that," I said, lobbing the book at him. He just laughed and shook his head.

"Who did I pick it up from?" he sang. I guess he had me there.

"Yeah, I'm a womaniser but I'm not a pot head," I accused. He paled a little and shrunk in his seat.

"You heard all that?" His voice was a little nervous but I wasn't going to give away I knew Bella fancied me, that was logged away for a better time.

"No I just heard you talking to Charles about some pot head you bought weed off of then I tuned you guys out." Relief flooded his face, though I don't know why, I was about to give him a kicking. "How do you think mum and dad would feel Masen, knowing you smoked pot?"

"Look, it was a onetime thing alright. Hell, you've probably experimented."

"Never with those drugs." I shook my head. "Don't do it again alright?"

"Yeah." He stood up and clapped me on the shoulder before leaving the room. If I found out he did anything like that again I'd tell our parents and let him deal with the consequences.

_Bella's POV_

I was prepared. Everything was ready, all I needed now was the man of the hour then we are ready to go. Whist waiting for Edward to arrive I lounged about on the couch. The door bell rang at approximately nine o'clock so I made my way to the door.

This was it, no turning back now. All I had to do was freak him out so act overly confident, very brazen about the whole thing and take him out of his comfort zones. _Oh this is going to be a piece of cake._

"Hey," I greeted Edward, who looked heavenly.

"Hi." He kissed my cheek and entered anxiously. Looked like it was going to be easier to freak him than I thought. "Look Bella, we can't have sex."

"Why?" I asked, hoping it sounded like I wasn't bothered. Even though I didn't want to really sleep with him I knew I would never get the chance to freak him out if we didn't go along with the formalities.

"We hate each other, sex is meant to be done with someone you love. You don't love me and I don't love you. So thanks but no thanks." With that he kissed my cheek again and left.

I stood their completely stumped. The town's resident Casanova, albeit he was a virgin, just walked away from any opportunity to fool around with me. I knew, thanks to Masen, he was a virgin but I know he's done everything else. So why did he turn me down? I couldn't help but feel hurt yet I don't know why.

It's not as if I actually liked him.


	6. Chapter 6: Back To Normal

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Six: Back To Normal?**

_Bella's POV _

After last night's escapades vanished before my eyes, due to Edward's sudden realisation that sex should only occur between people that love each other, I was feeling pretty low.

There was always a part of me that thought, deep down, maybe he liked me but obviously I was just kidding myself. If he liked me at all he would have at least kissed me properly last night.

My brain was confused. I didn't know if I should be angry with him or myself. I wanted to kick his ass for turning me down but I felt pissed that he could have thought I was an easy lay. Therefore a whore, which I certainly am not. Granted, I'm not a virgin but I have only slept with one guy which is a hell of a lot less than others.

Another bad thing that came out of last night was the charming voicemail message left by my father and another from my mother on the house phone. Apparently Mr. and Mrs. Moore had called them both, despite them being divorced, and informed them of the contents in my basket yesterday.

At one point it sounded like my father was going to have a heart attack down the phone about him being a grandfather so early and my mother was crying in the other message about me being pregnant. It wasn't like I had a pregnancy test or anything so I had no idea what they were going on about. My father also decided that he would find whoever I happen to be sleeping with and give them a talk. In other words, he was going to try and scare them in to staying away from me.

I was not sure how I could get myself out of that massacre as it wasn't like I could just go up to him and say that the condoms, lubricant and whipped cream were a joke because he would never buy it. That was just an issue I'd have to handle when I came to it. Hopefully that wouldn't be anytime soon.

I spent most of my Sunday catching up on work and reading. Charles was out fishing with my dad so I had the house myself, not like it mattered. In the middle of reading one of my classic Jane Austen books in the living room the door bell went and I slowly got up to answer it. No doubt it would be a package or something.

So obviously I was surprised when I opened the door to Edward. To be honest I didn't expect to see him due to last night. I figured that once he said his bit about us not sleeping together then he would sever all contact and we would return to our bitchy selves on Monday.

"Hey, can I come in?" he asked, pushing his bronze hair away from his face.

"Eh…sure." I opened the door and he traipsed in, heading towards the lounge. I walked past him and flopped onto the couch as he stood awkwardly near the door.

"Do you play?" he asked playing one of the keys on the piano.

"Em…no. I used to but I didn't like it very much. Charles plays instead."

"This his music?" Edward asked whilst sitting at the piano. I nodded and he started flicking through it. He smiled when he came to a certain piece then lightly touched another key. I watched from the chair. "Do you mind if…"

"Go ahead." I never even remembered Edward playing the piano. Of course I wasn't going to pass on a free viewing. He would probably never do it again or he won't even remember doing it.

The piece he played was complicated, to say the least. I had watched Charles trying to play it but he insisted that no one could play that many notes that fast or that many at one time. Well, apparently Edward could.

This was a side to him I never saw. He didn't look at the music much but never seemed to hit a wrong note. Maybe he had some secret obsession I never knew about. Then again, I didn't know much about Edward Cullen except he was a womanising git, who occasionally had a decent side to him.

Suddenly he stopped playing and I realized he had played the whole piece. He was much better than I first thought. Edward turned to me in and his eyes looked rather cloudy.

"I never knew you played. You were really good. When did you learn?" I asked out of complete curiosity.

"I learnt when I was trying to impress a girl. Turned out she didn't think it was charming, rather that I was a showing off. Therefore I stopped." He looked rather sad then smiled; it was a comfort smile for my appreciation, basically to show that he wasn't hurt or bothered. He stood up and returned the music sheets to the way they were.

Obviously he came over here for a reason and it wasn't to play the piano. If he was that good he must have one in his house but I really haven't been in there in ages. I indicated for him to sit down and he smiled before joining me on the couch. I thought he would sit on the other couch or on a separate chair but apparently not.

"Look about last night-" I stopped him in mid sentence.

"Please tell me this isn't one of those scenarios where you tell me you actually didn't mean what you said and would like to take me up on my offer." He paused then shook his head.

"No…actually I was going to say I hope that because of last night nothing changes between us."

"Changes how?" Half the time I never knew where I stood with him so some clarification would be good.

"Well we never really were friends and definitely weren't more than that so we just return to…eh-" He was thinking for the right word I filled it in.

"Hating each other?" I supplied.

"Yeah I guess. That okay?" He frowned as though he wasn't sure why he was asking.

"Absolutely. So if we've returned to hating each other can you get your STD infected self out of here." He chuckled and nodded.

"Of course. I wouldn't want to infect the resident prostitute now would I?" he said at the door the winked at me.

Playful banter or vindictive words? I want to believe that was just playful banter but with him I can never tell.

_Edward's POV_

I left her house and jumped into my car. My brain couldn't cope with all the rapid emotions I experienced when she was around. Everything was telling me to kiss her but that was just not going to happen.

If only she knew how I felt then she would run a hundred miles. Bella was never one for emotions and she wouldn't want to deal with them. She doesn't like it; I personally think that she's scared of getting hurt. I just wish she knew I would never hurt her.

I was gutted that she forgot about the piano. Then again why would she remember, it's not as if we were friends. I remember the day perfectly.

Bella, Alice and I were sitting round in Alice's garden. Bella explained that she had seen a movie and now thought musicians, especially those who played the piano, were sophisticated and charming.

I had a crush on her -when do I not?- and I just wanted her to notice me. She liked musicians so I would become one just so she could think I was sophisticated and charming. Sad? I know but she never gave me the time of day. Therefore I took up lessons the next week. A few months later, I had an unnatural talent and had progressed rather well; I played the piano in her house.

Alice and her were sitting and chatting on the couch. I asked if I could play something so they turned round to watch. The piece I played to her a few minutes ago was the exact same piece I played to her then. It was bloody hard to learn it but it was worth it if she just looked my way. She did but rather than her thinking I was sophisticated and charming she thought I was a pratt for my performance. Then she slammed the lid down on my hands and broke three fingers.

I guess you could say my plan backfired. It was just one of many failed plans. I tried so many times to impress her but I just lessened her opinion of me. I couldn't even be sure if she noticed me like that now. But I wanted her to.

I wanted to do everything I could to make Bella think I was actually worth being friends with or dare I say, dating. What I would give to be with her and have her like me back.

The problem was when did this so called crush turn into something more? When did I stop thinking of Bella as an icy bitch and started seeing her as an angel? Granted, she was beautiful but so were a lot of girls. Many guys said she was average. So what had me so drawn to her?

If I wanted her then I would have to pull out all the stops. I would need to get across to her that I'm not a womanising swine and can be a sweet, cute, caring guy. Even thinking about it now I know it won't be easy, especially with Bella involved.

She's unpredictable and although that drives me crazy with desire it also drives me mad. One minute we're all flirty and friends, the next she's cursing me to hell. Bella wasn't like all the other girls and that may be what makes her so special but at this time it was rather annoying.

I would have to get romantic. With the other girls I just had to smile at them and they were putty in my hands. Bella always sneered at me or hit me when I tried to do that to her. It was like there was this internal radar in her brain that could tell when I was trying to get close to her and she just buffed my advances.

Either way, I would have to plan this out carefully before jumping head first into it. One wrong move and I may never get the chance to prove to her I'm worth something. The other girls see it so why not her?

I don't know, but for whatever reason I couldn't give up. Bella was 'the one' as far as I was concerned. She just had it all and it may have taken me ages to realise but at least I realised now rather than later when it could have been too late.

_So come Monday, Edward Cullen is going to be romantic and try and sweep Bella off her feet. Fat chance of that._


	7. Chapter 7: Piece By Piece

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Seven: Piece By Piece**

_Bella's POV_

I arrived late to school on Monday and quickly rushed over to my locker. History was first thing so I grabbed my books and raced to class. The hallways were empty meaning class had started so I tried to run as fast as I could without falling, which was a challenge this early in the morning. I opened the classroom door and tried to sneak in; luckily the teacher still hadn't arrived.

Alice waved enthusiastically at me as I made my way to the back of the room. She was perched on the desk and was smiling brightly as I sat down. This girl was always too happy.

"Guess what?" she beamed at me.

"What?" I asked in a monotone voice. How could she be excited this early?

"Edward has a girlfriend." Well this was news.

Why would Edward get a girlfriend? He barely ever has a girlfriend. Edward takes a girl on maybe three dates before he ends it. They aren't girlfriends, just girls he occasionally goes out with. Edward only gets a girlfriend when it's serious and as far as I know he hasn't been serious about anyone in a long time.

"Who is it?"

"This is the best part." She bounced slightly on the desk.

"Just tell me who it is." _Wow I'm sounding cranky today. Could I be jea…no let's not even think that._

"It's Lauren!" She was practically giddy.

Lauren was best described as a trophy girl. If you dated Lauren you dated her for show, to make other's jealous. Which was the exact opposite of what Edward goes for. He doesn't make people jealous by dating someone, he just does it naturally. What makes it even weirder about him dating Lauren though is that on some occasions he even said that she would be the last person he world date. So why an earth would he date _her?!_

Okay I was beginning to sound jealous again. This was ridiculous, I was not jealous, hell it's just Edward. Why would I care about him?

"When did you find this out?" I asked her as she slid into the seat next to me.

"This morning, they were being all lovey dovey in the courtyard. Then I spoke to Emmett and he explained the whole thing. Apparently last night the Cullens and the Mallorys had dinner together and Edward asked her after. She immediately said yes and now they're a couple."

The teacher walked in before I had a chance to ask more. It wasn't like I actually cared anyway.

The lesson was dull so I just sat and doodled all over my book, trying to ignore the teacher and whatever she was blabbering on about. History was over sooner than I realized so I trudged my way out of the class and back to my locker.

It was just my luck that Edward was showing off his new prize as I walked up the corridor. He smirked as I walked past. I swear it was just to gloat. Ignoring him I continued walking past the arrogant pig.

I changed my books and headed off to second class deciding I didn't want anything to do with Edward. But God was against me today and decided that I should have a front row seat to watch Edward and his trophy girlfriend make out in English.

They sat in the row in front of me and whenever the teachers back was turned they would automatically lean into each other. Yuck! I just wanted out of there, I swear if they kept it up I would be witnessing a live sex show.

"Mr. Cullen can you please move seat, now," The teacher called from the front. He had his back turned but I guess he still knew what was going on.

Edward grabbed his belongings off the desk and looked round the room. Since he hadn't been assigned a seat to move to he sat, that's right, next to me. I wanted to avoid him not sit with him. Edward smirked when he saw my obvious disapproval of his choice. Why an earth would he want to sit next to me? He was probably only there to annoy me which he was succeeding with at that moment.

_Block it all out; he'll eventually get the message_. I focused on what the teacher was saying and tried to follow. Unfortunately, Edward was not. He leant over to my side of the desk and started whispering in my ear.

"Why are you avoiding me today? Is someone jealous?" he was practically singing the last part. I was glad I had on a reasonable sized heal today as I answered his question by digging my foot into his. He winced in pain but continued to annoy me.

"You know Bella we can still have our fun. I'm just dying to see what you bought for us." What the hell was wrong with him, he told me nothing would happen between us so why the sudden change?!

"Well why don't you die, then I'll show it to you." He smiled but still continued, this time though his hand was slowly caressing my knee. I was pissed to say the least. I came to English to learn, well sort of, not to get groped.

"Look I promise I won't let you down, I'm pretty good, could be better with the practice."

"Then keep using your hand, I'm sure you'll be fine."

"As I was saying, you won't be disappointed."

"Yeah I will. You're all mouth, no pants," I accused, jotting down God only knows what from the board.

"I've slept with many girls Bella, they thought I was pretty good," He added to back up his argument.

"But only some of them enjoyed the performance. I bet you traumatized the rest of them with your 'pretty good' skills, aka you suck in bed."

"That's not all I can suck at." _Okay major disgusting moment. I think I might be sick._

"Get away from me now," I declared. The whole classroom turned to look at us and the teacher stood at the front frowning.

"Is there a problem?" he asked looking quite concerned. Edward was in hysterics whilst I was standing up, no idea why.

"Yes I'm sitting next to a pervert, can I move?" The teacher stood there frowning some more then nodded his head. Thank the lord! I quickly grabbed my things and moved to the empty seat furthest away from Edward. That was just horrible.

_Edward's POV_

I couldn't resist winding her up. Granted, half the stuff coming out of my mouth was bull but it was still funny to see her reaction. I really should do that more often. But that conversation just couldn't be avoided.

I could swear that she was in fact avoiding me. Maybe my tactics worked. The only reason I agreed to go out with Lauren was because I needed to see if Bella was jealous. If she was then I knew she liked me and I could wedge my way in. Though, I was pretty sure the conversation I just had with her probably made her hate me more but in time she'll come to love me. Unfortunately I just love watching her squirm.

English ended which meant it was lunch time, my favourite lesson of the day. Bella was the first one out of the classroom when the bell rang. I guessed she wasn't interested in continuing our previous conversation. Lauren walked over to me and immediately wrapped her arm round mine. I felt like I was on show as we walked through the hallways.

Emmett was waiting for me by my locker. Lauren eventually left as she had some previous commitment that she just couldn't get out of, whatever I didn't care, it got her off my arm.

"So how were morning lessons?" Emmett asked as we wandered to the lunch hall.

"Do you really care?"

"Nope. I was just wondering if anything happened."

"Em…I freaked out Bella."

"When are you not freaking out that girl?"

"Good point."

Emmett and I entered the lunch hall and grabbed some food before heading over to a vacant table to just catch up and act like we used to before I got my head mixed up in all these Bella issues.

_Bella's POV_

At lunch I immediately filled in Alice and Rose with what happened in English with pervert Edward. I liked that name for him, it suited him well. Alice and Rose thought that he was a genius for his brazen comments; I still thought he was a pervert.

"Look, I want to get back at him, but not like before. All that was nothing, let's really out do ourselves here," I chimed; they both looked at me sceptically.

"Why would we want to get back at Edward, what's he done to you?" Rose asked, watching me carefully.

"He's not done anything wrong; I just think his comments were out of line." They both scoffed at my answer.

"Nope, not buying it. I think that someone is jealous and you want to humiliate him because of that," Rose practically sang.

"I'm not jealous, far from it," I protested but they rolled their eyes anyway. "Okay none of that, he's just pushing his luck with his cocky attitude, that's all, I'm not jealous. Why would I be jealous?" They both started laughing, great friends I have.

"You're jealous because, let's face it, you like him."

"I do not; we're not having this conversation. Will you help me or not?" I asked, they both looked at each other then nodded. Apparently Rose still felt the need to comment on one last thing.

"We'll help but one day sooner or later you're going to have to face up to the fact that you have a sweet spot for Edward Cullen."

Well that was complete crap. I certainly did not have a sweet spot for Edward Cullen. He was grotesque, rude, cocky, arrogant, annoying, filthy minded, perverted and holds no moral value whatsoever. Why would I ever like him?

I was bored.

That thought usually led to trouble. For example, when Edward printed my diaries, I concocted my plan to hurt and humiliate him because I was bored, and I wanted revenge.

But I was still bored.

Therefore I invited Alice and Rose round.

They were bored too.

That could only mean that we were going to get pissed drunk, do something stupid and regretful, and have to face the humiliation the next day. Like last time we all became drunk and bored, we thought it would be a genius idea to fly. We all jumped off the garage roof on to the trampoline, it was going to give us extra push before we took off.

It was obvious to say that it didn't work. Rose fell on the roof itself and slipped off into my neighbour's tree, she ended up with minor bruising. I jumped the roof, hit the trampoline, went flying in the air, tried to flap my arms and take off, then hit the ground with an almighty force. I broke my wrist, three fingers and my right ankle. Alice, after seeing me fail just climbed back inside and came out to get me to a hospital.

She was the most sober, I was the drunkest. And tonight the roles had turned.

When Rose and Alice arrived we started on some light drinks, that was two hours ago, now we were hitting the heavy drinks, vodka all round. I had been filling my glass with water and holding back when they poured me one.

My intention wasn't to get them drunk, they were doing that all by themselves, it was just I didn't want to be that drunk. Being drunk and miserable at the same time was sad, and only worsened matters.

I was not depressed miserable, just miserable miserable. Things could have been better. I was just sick and tired of all the crap that circulates with Edward and Lauren. I didn't need it and didn't particularly want it.

Anyway, at the moment, Alice, Rose and I were playing truth. We were missing out the dare since last time we played we flashed my eighty year old neighbor and he had a heart attack; his wife was not impressed when she found out why he suffered one. Who knew Rose's boobs could be so stressful?

Those two were piss drunk; they'd be crashing here since I didn't think they could walk or drive, definitely not drive. Rose was asking Alice the questions; I was sitting out deciding we'd save the ridicule for another day.

"So Alice, I'm curious, you and Edward were like best friends-" At which Alice nodded. "-and I was wondering if he told you anything exciting? I don't want any of that gossip I've heard going about before. I want good, juicy details that has been unheard by the masses." Her voice was only slightly slurred.

"Yeah, okay. Remember when Edward went out with Angela last month?" Alice began, to which we both nodded. "Well guess who he was fooling about on the side?"

"Who?!" I asked rather defensively.

Angela was one of my great friends. She may have been quiet and liked to keep herself out of trouble but she truly was an amazing girl. I knew Edward went out with her and I warned her that she shouldn't but she claimed that we all make mistakes and dating Edward Cullen was going to hers. To find out now that he cheated on her makes me want to skin him alive.

"Tanya." I was all over this conversation like the plague. Alice shook her head and rolled her eyes. "He really is a jackass most of the time." No one was going to stand up for him there as it was true.

"Did Angela find out?" Alice nodded pitifully.

"The only reason I found out was because she was crying in the girls' bathroom next to the library. I asked her what was wrong and when she didn't answer I told her I would go and get Edward to comfort her. Immediately she told me not to and that she didn't want to see him again. Then she explained how she caught him and Tanya groping in the library whilst swapping saliva. Poor girl was devastated. She thought he really liked her." Alice shrugged then grabbed another drink, leaving me to my thoughts.

To say I was outraged was an understatement. He really had pissed me off with that. Who did he think he was going around and hurting girls' feelings like that? I mean, no one stopped him but it's about time someone did and if that someone had to be me then so be it.

I was going to find out every dirty little secret he has hidden away and reveal them. I'll humiliate him in every way possible and I'll make him wish he had never treated girls like he treated Angela.

From then on it was going to be my personal mission to destroy Edward Cullen. Piece by piece.


	8. Chapter 8: Starting Small

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Eight: Starting Small**

_Bella's POV_

Alice and Rose were sleeping on the couch, recovering from their hangovers, as I headed out. I gathered that they would be missing school today, however, I would not be. Today was officially my research day on Edward. The guy had a lot of history and it was going to take time so it was best to start as soon as possible.

At that moment I was truly sick of him and hated his guts.

I exited my vehicle at school and quickly sped into the main building. Barely anyone had arrived yet but I knew for a fact that the girls I was looking for would be here. These girls had never dated Edward, they were not friends of Edward and they couldn't even be described as acquaintances of Edward's, but they probably knew more about him than anyone else did.

They ran the school newspaper.

I give them credit for what they do as no one really reads the paper. The teachers use it when there has been a spillage, the students use it to make paper aeroplanes and throw at each other. The only reason the papers disappear so fast was because the art department relies on them.

They use it for all their painting, Papier-mâché and other needs. I only knew that these girls were the ones to go to on Edward was because I was bored in art class and I ended up reading it when it was being used to keep the paint off the desks.

It's constantly filled with gossip, secrets, and spoilers about our student body. If everyone read it then there would be chaos. I remembered being particularly amused that they had a relationship section and in it they out right said who was cheating on whom then who they were cheating with. Turns out they were right aswell, about every single one. Edward Cullen's name appeared quite frequently in it, that's why they were the group to go to.

After walking through the silent hallways I found the school newspaper office. Inside were three girls busily working away. I had knocked and opened the door and when they saw that it was just me they returned to their work, ignoring my presence. See there was this little thing that was going to cause me some problems, they hated me.

Having had the label 'school royalty' stamped on my locker people have started to believe I was more popular than them. I hate the word popular. It was complete rubbish, I was definitely not better than them, I knew that, but everyone seemed to think I was up myself, even them.

After reading the newspaper in art class I started taking the paper regularly, enjoying what they wrote, until they started bashing me.

Turns out I wasn't particularly nice to one of them a few years ago and she was holding a grudge. I really didn't know what I did to offend her but she must still be annoyed about it because they truly despised me. Yay!

Now, I could just go through all the papers and find out about Edward that way but usually the best secrets are never published, hence why I was in a stuffy classroom about to beg to three girls who hate me that they should help my cause as it will benefit everyone.

_Wish me luck._

----------

_Edward's POV _

My mind was plagued by her. It was like a disease. My palms got sweaty, my heart rate increased, my breathing caught in my throat or increased so I was hyperventilating, I couldn't form a coherent sentence and I became mesmerised by her very presence. The symptoms were only getting worse though.

Having known Bella for years it made me unable to act on such feelings. The whole situation sucked really. Plus, she doesn't have a clue. She hated me and would probably vomit at the thought of us together. But I was still going to try.

I'd have to be stealthier than I first thought. If I was to go straight up to her and tell her or ask her out she'd think it was a joke or yell at me for being an idiot. _Oh the abuse I take._

No, the situation required her not knowing that it was me. I'd have to do everything secretly; I don't want people knowing what a wimp I've turned into, that would do no good for my reputation. I guess I'd have to be her secret admirer until she's ready to know who I am. God secret admirer sounds so pansy-ass.

I think I lost my balls somewhere along the way. Anyone have them?

The only other problem left was that I didn't know how to start. Do I give her something, write her a letter, what?

I wish there were books or classes on these things.

_Yes there is Edward. It's called stalking 101, they meet at the dumpster behind the hardware store to watch the woman across the street undress. Fucking pervert._

Well that was definitely not me. Yes, I liked Bella but did that make me a stalker? No.

Anyway, I should probably start small then work my way up. I'd begin with something simple like a note. Now she definitely is picky so I should probably give her an option on what she would like. I doubt she'll answer but we would try it anyway.

Three words and a question mark, that was all it had on it. I'd put it in her locker and just wait for her to respond, I was bound to hear about it so I wouldn't give her details on how to reply.

This would be the start of a very long journey, but it would definitely be worth it.

_Bella's POV _

"Look I know that you all don't particularly like me but this would benefit everyone. I just need your help, please," I begged.

The three girls opposite didn't even blink. Looked like I was not going to get their help. I'd been there for twenty minutes practically pleading them to help me, with no such luck.

"Bella it's not that we don't like you." Emily started to explain, she was the editor. "It's just that we're busy, we don't have time to help you, sorry."

"Please, look all I'm asking is that if anything comes in about someone, you give me that information. I know you log everything, from the old tips and secrets to the new stuff. Just please, all I want is information on this one person." Emily opened her mouth to refuse again but was quickly cut off by Leah, the gossip column writer.

"Who?"

"Edward Cullen." Her eyes twinkled for a moment.

"Good or bad information?"

"Bad," I answered quickly, she was thinking about it.

"Why?"

"He messed up, cheated on a girl, a really close friend of mine that shouldn't have gotten hurt by that jackass." Her eyes twinkled again.

"Angela Weber." It wasn't a question; she knew exactly who I was talking about. See this was why I need them, or more her. The other two just looked at us completely lost.

"I'll help you. Everything that comes in, even the things we can't print, I'll give to you. You can also go through the old things as well, Edward has his own file, he isn't as clean as everyone thinks he is."

"If you don't mind me asking, why have you agreed to help me?"

"I thought what he did was very unfair to Angela. She really liked him and he knew that yet screwed around with Tanya knowing she'd get hurt. Someone needs to take him down a few notches and you're perfect for it." She smiled at me after she returned from a closet, handing me a box.

"It's got all the old news on him, good and bad, we don't file it like that, but we should."

"Thanks, if there is anything I can do for you just ask," I said to all three as I exited the room carrying my box of news.

I wandered to my locker and managed to get it to fit properly. Tonight I would start sorting through it. After all, if I was going to bring Edward down I was going to have to know how to hurt him. Humiliation was perfect but I needed it to be fair otherwise I was going to look worse than him. Then again, how can you look worse than the devil himself?


	9. Chapter 9: Notes Galore

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Nine: Notes Galore**

_Bella's POV_

Tagged onto my locker was a simple note, three words and a question mark. It didn't say who it was from, it didn't say how I was to answer it (if I was going to answer it) and it was completely out of the blue.

_Question_

_Gift_

_Dinner?_

Now how anonymous was that? I scrunched the paper up into a ball and threw it in the trash can close by. I didn't have time for petty pranks like that. I was a girl on a mission. I spent last night going through the box of information I had been given about Edward and saw that he's got a lot of skeletons in his closet.

I found some interesting things about a rehabilitation clinic, possible alcohol abuse, some ex girlfriends saying how badly he treated them, him cheating in class and exams, using drugs to help his athletic career, having an affair with one of the young female student teachers when she was here, and him enjoying the occasional dabble in drugs.

Unfortunately for me half of this stuff was crap. Only problem was I don't know which ones were lies so I have to go to the effort of working that out. Also, I only went through about a fifth of the information I was given. Therefore there were loads more of this just waiting for me when I got home tonight, yippee!

"What did you just throw away?" Rose asked as I started to walk away from my locker.

"Nothing, just some crappy note someone stuck on here, it's just a prank."

"What did it say?" she asked walking beside me, pretending not to be interested as she fiddled with her iPod.

"Question, gift, dinner and then a question mark," I told her casually, already losing interest in the conversation.

"Oooh, I think someone has a secret admirer," she chimed, I glared at her and entered English.

Hoping to have the topic dropped I brought out a book and started to read a few pages. Apparently Rose still wanted to talk about that god forsaken note so I had to stop reading and listen to her gush over how exciting it was.

I was so grateful when the teacher came in. I am usually not one to welcome the beginning of the lesson but today I was ready with open arms. I couldn't listen to Rose anymore, if she was like this then what was Alice going to be like? Hell, that girl acts like she's on drugs most of the time; I didn't know what she'd do when she found out someone sent me and note like that. In all honesty it was no big deal. They were all pranks anyway.

I hated guys that couldn't pick up the courage just to come and talk to me. Why does the whole thing have to be secretive? I would find out eventually who they were unless they were like some stalker, I don't even want to think about that, so why all the secrecy?

Tuning out until lunch was the best thing I could ever do. I didn't have to listen to Rose go on about how it must feel nice to have some guy write me a note; it was just a pathetic note, what's the big deal? Then again she was a romantic at heart and liked to hide that from everyone.

Tuning out also helped me shuffle through some of the things I leant on Edward. I wrote them down in the back of my notebook with reasons and probability next to them.

_Rehabilitation Clinic- Unlikely but need details on what type of rehabilitation clinic it is._

_Alcohol Abuse- Very likely, he does like to drink, a bit excessively, when at parties and he can hold his liquor really well. _

_Ex-Girlfriends Treatment- Possible but it's most likely that they're just scornful that he dumped them._

_Cheating (Schoolwork)- Very likely, I totally believe this, Edward's not that smart, I've known him forever. He doesn't study but comes out in the top ten percent of the class. –DEFINITELY CHEATING –_

_Drugs For Sport- Very likely, he went from being an okay tennis player to being a tennis God over night. Not possible without a bit of help. Need to work out how he gets passed the random drugs tests, if they're random at all._

_Affair With Student Teacher- Bullshit, he would have bragged._

_Drugs At Parties- Likely, at least it's believable, he has to live up to the pressure of being perfect, not everyone is. Need to ask around at parties etc. Weed seems to be a popular choice, Edward is friends with the three main drug dealers in our school anyway, perhaps too friendly, I'm thinking supplier and client. Won't get info from dealers though, maybe some of their 'friends' or followers might have seen something. Possibility to take Tyler Crowley's infamous 'book of clients'. _

The bell rang for lunch so Rose and I, accompanied by Jasper and Emmett walked out of the class and headed towards lunch. We were practically the first students in the hallway, otherwise I really wouldn't have noticed.

On every single locker the note was posted and just to point out that it was for me this note was slightly edited and there was also a blown up version that had been posted on the wall at the end of the corridor.

_Bella, I won't give up without an answer._

_Question_

_Gift _

_Dinner?_

He, whoever he may be, was good, perhaps too good.

Once everyone had filed out their classrooms they all began to look at me. I could feel my face burning up with embarrassment. Guys laughed and joked, girls thought it was sweet, god only knows why, I certainly wasn't finding it sweet, I thought it was mortifying.

"Looks like someone likes you," Edward commented at lunch as he held up one of the notes, which I snatched and ripped up.

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious, as though that hadn't already occurred to me because the five foot note placed on the wall and the hundreds of stupid notes made me think that this was all for shits and giggles."

"My my, someone's touchy today. What's wrong, PMS-ing?" I felt like throttling him right there. Just because I happen to be in a slightly bad mood does not mean I was PMS-ing. Why do guys always think that?

"No I'm not, not that it's any of your business anyway, jackass."

"So why do I owe the pleasure of your insults today?"

"Because I had a breakthrough, I officially hate you." His smirk widened.

"I love you too my precious," he said whilst stroking my hair, I batted his hand away and ignored the chills running up and down my spine when he made contact with me.

"So do you have any idea who it is that's sending you these?" Jasper asked holding up another one. I personally think he only asked to stop a fight breaking out between Edward and me.

"Nope but I don't care. I don't care how many he sends, I don't care what he does, and I don't want to know. He clearly doesn't have the balls to talk to me so why should I acknowledge his silly notes."

"How do you know it's a he? It could be a girl then it would make sense why they didn't have the balls to talk to you." Edward commented as he stole my cookies off my tray. I glared angrily- was there any other type of glaring?- and stole one back.

"It's a guy,"I told him sternly.

"But you don't know for sure."

"Yes I do, it's a guy now drop it." His grin widened as he munched on the stolen cookie happily.

"Would you to just screw each other already, I'm tired of your sexual tension," Emmett whined as he finished his chocolate pudding. Both Edward and I stared at him like he had grown a second head.

"Ex...hm...excuse me?" I asked, trying to comprehend his words.

"Just get it over with, you know, have sex, screw each other, fu-"

"No I understand what you said I just don't understand why you said it," I interrupted before he could continue.

"Look-"He rooted round in his wallet and held a condom out to us. "Take this, there is a janitors closet on the second floor, plenty of space, have fun. If you don't like the closet go to the back of his car. Enjoy yourselves." He placed it in Edward's hand; who was smirking devilishly, and then returned to his lunch like nothing had happened.

"Come on Bella." Suddenly I was pulled from the table by Edward.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I tried to break free of his grip.

"We're going to use this," he said, showing me the condom again. We were just at the end of the cafeteria when Emmett called out to us. Their table was in the middle of the room so everyone heard.

"The condom's flavoured, Strawberry, your favourite." Then he winked at me.

I died.

The entire room turned our way. They were met with my bright red face and Edward who was grinning roguishly at the room. He took a bow and received cheers from the jocks and other guys in the room then he grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the cafeteria.

I was never going to live that down.

Ever.

I hated Emmett.

And Edward.

"Would you relax, it's not a big deal." Edward tried to soothe me as he tugged me up the stair.

_Wait, why am I going with him?_

I started slapping his back with my free hand and finally he let go, only for a second. I tried to get away but I was stuck, trapped between him and the stairs, I couldn't go down the ones I just came up, not at a fast pace anyway. I was a fool for listening to Alice and wearing a shoe with a heel, it may be small but I was not risking breaking my ankle just to get away from him.

"Are you done hitting me?" he asked placing hands on either side of me, my back pressed against the wall.

"Yeah," I whispered quietly. As much as I hated to admit this, he looked _really _good at that moment.

I don't know what happened. He quickly leant forward, kissed me on the cheek then practically ran away. I stood there completely dazed for about two minutes. Honestly I was not even sure it happened. I could have imagined him kissing me, even if it was on the cheek, but then again I hated him. Why would I want to imagine him like that?

_Edward's POV _

I was caught in the web she's weaved.

The ship was sinking and I guess since I was the captain I should go down with it.

She didn't like my notes. At all.

It was like she had something against the idea of a guy liking her but not having the courage to tell her. Yes, she thought it was pathetic but if I was to even remotely tell how much I like her she would give me six more months of her bitchy and hellish attitude. I may like her but she does have her flaws. Her temper was one and I guess you could say that her attitude towards me was another.

I knew this wasn't going to be easy but I didn't quite know where to go from here. I thought that once I showed her how serious I was about not giving up when she tossed the thing aside that she would at least contemplate answering.

This morning I watched from my very own locker as she crumpled up my note and threw it in the bin. My thought at the time wasn't that she had a good aim for making the shot from at least ten feet away but that she was stubborn and this may take longer than I expected and longer than I wanted.

_Damn her and her foolishness_. I'm a perfectly decent guy and I just want a chance but she doesn't want to give me one. Why not? When I kiss her she doesn't seem that repulsed. Then again I can't be that sure since I ran away last time.

I thought she would get mad and yell at me or hit me again. She does hit bloody hard and I don't think she realises. But it was not like I was going to tell her that, she'd most likely come back with a sucker punch to the jaw. I like my jaw thank you very much; I was not going to let her disfigure my face, though I know she would love to.

Oh the woes of wooing.

_Bella's POV _

Fifth and sixth period were bearable. But I was looking forward to seventh. Not for the stimulating educational facts I would be learning but for the guy sitting in front of me. Tyler Crowley.

He deals petty drugs, weed, steroids, LSD and others like that. As far as I know he doesn't handle cocaine or heroin, apparently it's too risky for him. I can understand why though.

What I was never able to understand was this client book he had. He doesn't write their name straight down but he puts their order then their initials and their registration plate number next to it. Now I happen to know Edward's, I checked after regaining my senses on the stairs and scribbled it down on my arm.

EAC 17

Very original in my mind. Since I knew his family pretty well this plate was easy to decipher. EAC were his initials, Edward Anthony Cullen, and 17 was his favourite number.

Now all I had to do in the lesson was drop my pencil off the desk and take the book out of Tyler's bag, which he conveniently left open. This shouldn't be hard but the prospect of getting caught was terrifying. He didn't know what I was going to use this information for and I doubt he and his 'clients' would be so willing to let me see it. The second they found out I was trying to take it they'd have me gutted in the quad.

_I'd like to go home in one piece today thanks. So let's just pray to God I don't get caught._


	10. Chapter 10: Surprise With Red Boxers

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Ten: Surprise Dinner Guest With Silk Red Boxers**

_Bella's POV_

Class started up so I quickly sat down in my seat and eyed Tyler's bag. He had left it open, praise the Lord, which would make things easier for me. I waited until the teacher had started the lesson and had us working on things before I even contemplated 'accidently' dropping my pencil off the desk.

It rolled away and landed below his bag, in the perfect place. I couldn't have planned it better even if I tried. Right then I loved the seats we were in. Single desks and the row I was in were against the wall. Therefore when I picked the pencil up, if I block the view to his bag with my back no one on the other side of the room can see. Then I'd be able to slip it into my bag which I left under my desk open so I could do it quickly.

I stood up and bent down to pick the pencil up. The book was there, black leather binding it, sitting on top of his school books. _Thank you god for making this easy._

Little did I know he was going to make this easy but also bloody painful.

Grabbing the pencil quickly I then subtly took the book. My bag was close enough for me to stuff it in as fast as possible. With that it was done and I wasn't been caught.

_YAY!_

"Son of a bitch!" I cursed. Tyler was so frigging oblivious to me that he pushed his chair back to stand up and I got caught in-between the chair and desk. My head felt like it was being crushed.

"Oh shit, sorry Bella," he said after getting out the way and tucking his chair in. "You okay?" he asked genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, sure," I said standing up holding my pencil and my head.

"What were you doing?"

"Getting my pencil." I slouched in my chair and laid my splitting head against the desk.

Tyler shook his head then returned to what he was doing. I just sat there like that for the remainder of the double. The teacher didn't seem to care about the situation and didn't mind at all when I had my head on the desk as she was going through the answers to the sheet I was resting on.

Despite the pain I was rather chuffed with myself. I didn't get caught. Looked like I would be going home in one piece after all.

That night when I returned home, after taking Paracetamol to relieve the pain of my head, I took out Tyler's client book. If I found what I thought I'd find in here then I was not sure how to use this to my advantage, I can't hand the book in because eventually someone will suss it was me and I don't want to be beaten to death by Tyler and his 'clients'. I also can't just use Edward's name and say he was using, if he was, as I had no proof.

I opened the book and was surprised by how obvious some of these 'coded' clients were. If they had the same initials as someone then their middle name was written in full and so was their first name. Tyler was an idiot, if this was found there would be mayhem. Hell he'd even written what they ordered and the quantity along with the price.

In one order he'd written the name of one of the drug dealers in school, their full name, and said he had to go to him to get it. Hell if this was handed in they wouldn't kill me they'd kill Tyler. This was like keeping detailed record of every crime you've ever committed.

It dated back year's aswell. Turns out Tyler took over from his brother, the writing changed after his brother graduated. I scanned back to when we were in freshman year, Edward started buying. Sophomore still had the same, him making regular purchases. But when we hit last year, junior year, Edward just stopped.

From when Edward became really good at Tennis I'd say he used the steroids for the first two years to improve his strength and ability but stopped when he became the golden boy of tennis, he started playing in competitions and the school poured a lot of money into the tennis facilities for him in junior year. At least he wasn't on them when he started competing.

In freshman and sophomore year his purchases were on random dates but it was the same quantity, a very small quantity, roughly five tablets. Always Anabolic Steroids so I would research them to see what they did to him.

After looking at the book I browsed the web for information on anabolic steroids. Turns out some of the side effects are pretty weird, definitely would make him look bad and he could be ridiculed for some of it if anyone found out. Perfect.

"What you smiling at?" Charles asked as he stepped into the living room.

"Nothing," I replied nonchalantly as I minimized the window so he couldn't see what I was looking at.

"Okay, well I'm going to Masen's so I'll see you later. Oh dad is coming back tomorrow, we're having some fancy dinner or something, just thought I'd give you a heads up."

Uck, I hate having a 'fancy dinner'. Usually that meant he'd invite another family round and we were to all play nice when really the people he invited over are so boring and dull I feel like peeling my skin off just for something to do. Okay well maybe that was a bit dramatic but I really can't stand it.

After Charles had disappeared I loaded up a blank document and pasted a photo of Edward into the centre of it. He was smiling charmingly at the camera and he looked so carefree and relaxed. Then I went back to the website with some of the side effects of Anabolic Steroids were and copied them across so that the text was fluttered around the picture. I printed off a copy then took a black marker and wrote in big bold letters at the top. It looked perfect; all I needed now was another 2000 copies.

Tomorrow was going to be so much fun.

_Edward's POV_

I stuck around after school to set up my next step in getting Bella to respond to my notes. Like I said, I wasn't going to give up without a reply. The cafeteria was empty at five twenty as the janitorial staff locked it at five. Lucky for me I had a key.

After entering I glanced round the place for the light switch then flicked on one of the small lights, so not to draw attention. The other janitors would realise something was going on if the lights were on when they locked this place first. That was why I was still here, they locked the school at seven and I refused to be stuck in here all night or to break in later on. I was not a criminal just a vandal.

A few seconds after adjusting to my surroundings I found what I was looking for. The trays were all piled up on two trolleys; there are over five hundred trays so if I wanted to finish in time I needed to start immediately. I grabbed a paint brush and a pot of white paint I had brought in with me and started writing across the trays.

The only thing I hadn't really thought through was where I was going to place them all as they dried. The label on the tin said the paint dried in fifteen minutes which meant if I wanted to be out here by seven I had to have finished by half six in order to put them all back and get the hell out. Somehow I doubted I'd get through all five hundred and something in one hour and ten minutes.

After about fifteen minutes, and about fifty trays later, the cafeteria door opened. My heart stopped, I would get in so much shit, probably suspended if I was caught in here, painting the black lunch trays. To my shock Emmett wandered in with a paint brush and pot of white paint in hand.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him slightly shocked still.

"I really should be asking you that. I never knew you were one for vandalism Edward, tut tut, what would your parents say." He smirked and started painting the same message I had written on the others.

"How did you know?"

"You've liked her forever and you weren't jealous when she received those notes. It had to be you."

"Okay that's understandable. But how did you know I was here, doing this?"

"I didn't, not until ten minutes ago. I stayed late in the library- yes I know where that is don't look so shocked- and I saw your car in the parking lot. I walked back into the school and saw you enter here. I waited for a few minutes them had a look in, saw what you were doing and went to the art department and 'borrowed' some of their supplies – I can see you did the same- so I thought I would come hep out."

"Thanks." He just smiled and continued painting.

We worked in silence for most of the time, the occasional 'I wrote it too big it won't fit' or 'I spelt this wrong' came from Emmett but I didn't say much, just joked about his mistakes with him. At six forty we finished and I couldn't believe we actually did it.

Emmett and I gathered them up and placed them back on the trolleys, leaving just plain blank ones on top so the kitchen staff would notice anything different in the morning, then we raced out of there, dumping our supplies in the boot of my car and both left for our separate locations. Before Emmett reached his car I turned round and called to him.

"Emmett!" He looked at me expectantly.

"Yeah?"

"You won't say anything will you?"

"Nope. I just want to watch the show for once."

"Thanks by the way, I don't think I would have finished without you."

"It's okay, I'm not sure you'll be thankful when you see some of the errors I made- I didn't know it could be so hard to write three words and a question mark- I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, bye."

I entered my car and looked at myself, covered in white paint-_ Aghh, I liked these jeans!- _I'd have to be careful and avoid Masen when I got back, he may not be smart but I was pretty sure he'd work out that it was me once he saw the lunch trays tomorrow.

Even though Bella seemed to hate the idea of these notes I was not put off, yeah it meant a lot of work trying to convince her to even take them seriously but if it worked it'd be well worth it. She would never in a million years look at me that way but she just might if she thinks it's someone else. Though I really hoped this worked since I was running out of ideas of how to show her how serious I was.

_Bella's POV _

I yawned as I started up my car to go to school. I was dead tired; you would be too if you had to break into the school last night to post the flyers I made of Edward. I put one in every locker, on the hallway walls, in each classroom, on the bulletin boards, in the changing rooms, the cafeteria and all the different sports facilities.

Despite how tired I was I couldn't wait for it to unfold. Hopefully it would be worth it, I was now a criminal, I broke into the school and I guess in some people's opinions vandalised the place with my genius flyers. After this no girl was going to go near Edward for at least three months, not until the rumours died down.

Also last night I returned Tyler's client book to his locker. I had to get into the school office and find his locker combination which took ages but it was much safer returning it that way than handing it to him or leaving it lying around, he'd surely notice it was missing.

Pulling into the school parking lot I noticed everyone hanging around with white flyers in their hands, _so I see they found them then. _I was just thankful that the janitorial staff opened the school doors but then left immediately as they got the mornings off otherwise they would have taken them down. Since the teachers didn't arrive until a little later it helped that the flyers were already in circulation so they couldn't take them all away when they find out about it.

I stepped out my car and Leah walked over with a knowing smirk on her face and one of the flyers in her hand. She held it up when we were closer and slightly out of earshot.

"Very clever, no girl in her right mind is going to date him now. He'll be slandered by every girl that's claimed to have slept with him and I'll be surprised if by next week people still believe he has a dick."

I looked over my artwork and beamed, it was perfect, it would kick everything off. At the top of the page it read in big bold black marker '_**Would You Date A Guy With...**_' then scattered around the photo of Edward it said (again in black bold letters) _**Erection Problems – Growing Breasts- Shrinking Testicles- Dramatic & Aggressive Mood Swings-**_ then at the bottom it read '_**Anabolic Steroids- Not Worth It'**_.

As Leah and I walked into the main building we were already hearing rumours about Edward and his erection problems, small testicles and breasts. Some things were obviously made up but truly hilarious to listen to.

But now my days just about to get so much better. Edward walked through the hall, noticing all the odd glances and people laughing at him. He made his way to his locker which was a few down from mine and opened it up, the flyer fluttered to his feet. He bent down to pick it up; his face went slightly red as he read to over.

Emmett practically bounced down the corridor and laughed at Edward when he saw him. Edward blushed some more and started whispering frantically to Emmett, who was still grinning like a mad man as he held up my masterpiece.

Ah today was just brilliant.

_Edward's POV _

Emmett came towards me laughing as he held the accusing flyer in his hands. This was so bad. Not only had I just had my entire reputation ruined but when the staff saw this they would want to investigate whether or not I've ever taken Anabolic Steroids. I can't have them finding out, but I need to know who else found out since this bloody thing has found its way into the mainstream gossip.

Things could only get worse. Those claiming that I was a god in bed were now accusing me of being a premature ejaculator- I now understand what Gianna Volturi, a girl I dated for a few weeks, was referring to when I walked past. I ultimately hate whoever made that ghastly thing. I would never be able to live it down.

"Ha ha, I never knew you had boobs," Emmett chimed as he waltzed up.

"Shut it." He smirked but kept his mouth shut. "Who have I pissed off recently that would make them want to do this?"

"I think you're asking the wrong question, who knows that you took those?" he indicated to the Anabolic Steroids.

"Only Jasper, you and Tyler I guess."

"Well clearly someone else knows now since they've decided to broadcast it to the school." I kept quiet and thought over whom else could know.

"I'll see you later, at lunch; I can't wait to see her face." With that Emmett walked off, just as Leah was walking past me. I called out her name and gently grabbed her wrist to stop her from walking away.

"What?" she asked as she scowled at my hand on her wrist. I let go quickly and apologised.

"You get things in about me for the school newspaper, right?" She glanced around behind me then apprehensively answered.

"Yeah...why?"

"Do you know if anything ever came in about me using steroids?"

"Probably...I don't really know."

"Has anyone ever looked at the things that come in about me other than the three of you who work for the paper?"

"No," she answered then said she had to go and left rather abruptly. I shook my head and headed off to first class.

Today was just going to be hell.

_Bella's POV _

I was probably the happiest I'd ever been in ages. Edward was getting so much stick it was hilarious, he was starting to take it in his stride and joke about it but I knew he was curious as to why he needs to be on the defence most of the time.

Leah told me about his questions and I was worried when he spoke to her in the hall but she covered for me and I was truly grateful, it all could have ended there but her being the amazing person that she is decided to let it continue. She was clearly still as pissed as I am about what Edward did to Angela.

I thought nothing would ruin my mood but then I went to lunch.

When I walked into the cafeteria with Alice and Rose I was surprised by how many people were glancing our way. My first instinct was to think that they knew I was the one who made those flyers but then I went to pick up a tray and saw that familiar note painted onto it, and all the others, it clicked into place.

_**Question**_

_**Gift**_

_**Dinner?**_

Was painted across the tray in big bold white letters. Whoever this guy was he was certainly going to a lot of trouble just to get one answer. Rose laughed, I assumed at me so I sent a glare her way until she turned her tray my way and I saw the spelling mistake. Instead of the usual note hers said:

_**Question**_

_**Git**_

_**Diner?**_

_Yay! It looks like the guy who likes me has the IQ of an eight year old. Just my bloody luck._

I ignored the looks I was getting and bought my food them headed over to an empty lunch table. The second we all sat down Emmett, Jasper and Edward joined us. The three of them seemed highly amused by my current situation.

"So are you going to respond to this guy?" Emmett asked.

"No, why would I?"

"Well he went to all this trouble."

"So, look I have nothing against him but maybe he would get somewhere if he spoke to me every once in a while rather than writing me these notes."

"How do you know he's not already speaking to you?" Edward asked.

"Well if he has then he should make it clearer, his intentions I mean. I don't need his harassment right now."

"Some girls would love to have this kind of attention," Edward argued.

"Well I'm not some girl. The guy's wasting his time. Oh I just wanted to say I'm glad we never slept together since I don't think you would have been able to keep it up. So thanks for that." He smirked.

"The only way I wouldn't be able to keep it up with you is because you're not attractive to look at. Your fault not mine, I was just going to do you a favour, relieve some of that pent up sexual tension from being frigid most of the time."

"Are we back to this again?" Emmett whined. "I thought I told you two yesterday, just have sex already. Do you need another condom?" He started fishing for his wallet.

"NO!" I practically screeched, I was not having a repeat episode of what happened yesterday. They all started laughing and joking around which I tuned out. Emmett was staring at me weirdly though, he also held a condom out to me when we had finished lunch, he made me promise I would use it.

I had such weird friends.

Just like Charles said yesterday, our dad arrived home and we were having a fancy dinner. But oh no, not just with anyone, Mr and Mrs Moore, my principal and his wife. The last time we met it was when I was buying supplies to scare Edward and spilt them all over the floor, the whipped cream, the condoms and the lubricant.

Now I was going to be sitting opposite them eating dinner pretending like nothing happened when I know that that's all they're going to be thinking about. Well it was all I was going to be thinking about. This couldn't get worse.

"What's wrong?" Charles asked, making his way into the kitchen and seeing me with my head in my hands.

"I can't have dinner with the Moore's,"I whined.

"Come on, don't be like that, yeah he's our principal but who cares."

"That's not what I was meaning."

"Elaborate as I'm sensing a funny story," he said as he sat opposite me with a bottle of water.

I told him all about what happened that stupid day at the convenience store and why I was buying all of that so he didn't think his older sister was a whore. He now understood the message mum and dad had left on the answering machine about me being irresponsible and mum worrying over being a grandmother so early. Charles seemed to think the whole thing was hilarious and was now dead excited about dinner.

I was not.

Just before the Moore's arrived he decided to inform me that it was his friend who worked the cash machine that day and that he already knew. He just wanted to see me squirm. I slapped him over the head and kicked him out the room, telling him to get the door. He no doubt had been laughing at me the entire time. Please God tell me he never told Masen or I would never live it down.

When the Moore's arrived they both couldn't look at me. My father welcomed them in and took their coats. Charles was practically giddy, god only knew why, and loved the idea of how awkward and uncomfortable things were going to be.

Dinner started fine but things became ruined very quickly during the main course. My mother who had come over to make us seem like a solid family unit even after the divorce had just finished explaining how exciting her trip away was with Phil, who sat uncomfortably next to Charles, when someone called my name from upstairs, you could hear them pad down the stairs barefoot. I sat horrified, scared shitless about what was about to happen.

Edward walked in our dining room in nothing but red silk boxers and had handcuffs on his wrists.

I died.

Again in two days, that had to be a record.

The room grew dangerously quiet.

"Oh sorry to bother you all. Bella, I was just wondering if you could uncuff me, I need to get home," Edward said as he walked round to stand next to me.

My mother, father, Phil, Mr Moore and Mrs Moore all looked like they were about to pass out. Although I did notice Mrs Moore check out Edward's abs as he came over. I stood up quickly, which sent the chair flying over backwards, and pulled him out the room as fast as I could.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I screeched at him in the kitchen. He leant against the counter smirking.

"Their faces were priceless."

"What?! Do you know what you've done? Oh my god, my parents, they'll never forget this. And YOU what the hell are you doing?"

"It was just a joke; I needed some comedy after today's flyer incident."

"This is not a joke, what will they think?!"

"Oh calm it; they'll think nothing about that but maybe something about this."

I had no idea what he was doing until his arms went over my body and he started kissing me against the counter. This had to be a sin; no one should be able to kiss like that. For some reason my brain was not processing that this was Edward I was kissing furiously in my kitchen, hence why I never pushed him away.

His arms, cuffed together, had me trapped against his perfect chest which I was feeling in all its glory as it pressed against me. Edward pulled away, grinning ear to ear, and slid his hands out the cuffs. With further inspection I noticed they were too big and he could have taken them off at any time. He put one hand over my mouth, cuffed my wrists together and whispered.

"Let's really give them something to talk about." With that he started moaning.

This could not be happening. Here I was standing in my kitchen as Edward makes it sound like we're having sex against the worktop.

My life was officially over.

"Ah that was great. You give the best blow job ever," he said dramatically as he pointed to something on the cuffs then grabbed a bag lying next to the back door.

That was just bloody great; he screams that out them expects me to walk back in _there_. I'd be surprised if I don't die instantly of embarrassment from this. I looked down at the cuffs and noticed what he indicated at, I hit the button and they undid themselves.

When I entered the dining room everyone turned to me. My parents and Phil were as white as a sheet and Mr and Mrs Moore were looking straight at their plates. Charles was smirking and by the glint in his eye I knew it was him.

"You're such a rat bastard," I hissed, taking my seat.

"I couldn't resist, neither could Edward."

This had been the worst day ever.


	11. Chapter 11: Someone Knows

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Eleven: Someone Knows**

_Bella's POV_

The following week was a nightmare. Whoever this guy was that was sending me these notes he was serious. It's like he had found every possible way for them to get to me. Since the notes and the trays didn't work he took it up a notch. It was not just the students who were witnessing them now but also the staff.

After the lunch trays being 'vandalized' I received warnings from the principal's staff that if the stunts get any bigger then I was going to have to just answer the damn question or I get punished. They were thinking that this would be an incentive for him to come forward but really it was just a bigger incentive for me to kill him when I find out who it was.

On Monday in second period Mr Gibson was using the overhead projector to show some slides. I wasn't really paying attention, my focus was on the doodle in the corner of my page, but I did pay attention when majority of the class started sniggering and looking my way.

On the screen was the exact question I have been receiving since the beginning, this guy was driving me mad. Mr Gibson was not pleased as he was convinced someone was making a mockery of his class. Therefore I received a detention for that afternoon. Just bloody perfect.

Then to make matters worse Edward, who also happened to be in that class with me, decided it would be amusing to take one of the pet lab rat's out and place it in one of the airhead's bag so that she caused a complete scene and screeched her lungs out. He also received a detention for that afternoon.

When I walked into detention Edward had his legs sprawled across a desk and was leaning back smugly in his chair. I felt like wiping that cocky smirk straight off his face, he was being an ass all day and now I was here with him for two hours.

Unlucky for me the young new student teacher was watching over our detention class. She walked in with a book and her iPod then tuned us out the second she sat down. That meant I had to talk to Edward who was yapping in my ear when all I wanted to do was murder him for that stunt he pulled when we were having dinner.

"So what did your parents say?" Edward mumbled as he sat next to me, practically hanging off my shoulders.

"They grounded me. I was dragged to church on Sunday. I was also dragged to a Plan Parenthood clinic. They are convinced I'm a sexaholic and have given me pamphlets on that issue. They also said that if I get pregnant then I can kiss my university fund goodbye. So thanks for making my life so much harder Edward. Because of you my parents think I'm a slut and my mother is barely talking to me." I crossed my arms over my chest and turned away from his face.

"Bella I didn't mea..."

"Don't even finish that sentence," I warned harshly.

"Okay hear me out. I'm sorry, it was a stupid joke that I thought would be funny. And hell if this happened to anyone other than you you'd have thought it was funny. I'm an idiot and I like to joke around, maybe too much. Charles told me who was coming over and what happened between you and them at a certain convenience store- so funny by the way, I wish I had been there- and I automatically thought it would be amusing to scare them a bit. I didn't think of the consequences to you and I'll fix this-"

"How?" I cut in.

"Eh..." He paused and looked deep in thought, probably doing too much hard work. "I don't know yet but I'll try something. On a happier note what are you doing next month for the Country Club's Christmas Event?"

Aghh I forgot about that. Our grandparents joined this stupid country club and then our parents. Every year they threw a party on most of the major holidays. The Christmas one was probably the worst. Every guest wears formal wear, tuxes and ball gowns, the food is always so over the top its ridiculous, our families are there and watch over our every move, the alcohol is disgustingly expensive wine, and you have to bring a date, someone with a similar family status otherwise it 'degrades' your family according to my grandmother.

"I'm not sure yet. Obviously I have to go or my grandmother will have a fit. What about you?"

"Well I was thinking it would be another night of crappy food, pathetic wine, ridiculing parents, stuck up relatives, shitty music, and a date who probably hates my guts, so all in all sounds like a great night. But I don't think it could top last year's."

"Oh yeah...Felix got caught in the disabled toilet with Demetri having oral sex...their parents were not impressed."

"Yeah so I'm thinking that no matter what happens this year it'll be nothing in comparison to last years." Edward paused and glanced around the room. "So do you have a date?"

"No but I'll find someone, preferably someone who isn't expecting sex at the end of the evening."

"That limits your chances considerably." I nodded in agreement.

"So I take it your going with Lauren?" He looked surprised for a second, like he hadn't even thought of her.

"Yeah I guess I will be." He didn't seem particularly pleased about that. In all honesty I really don't understand his relationship with Lauren. I don't think he even likes her. It was like they were dating for convenience rather than actually liking each other. Neither of them spent a lot of time together and Edward was always hanging out with us, to my dismay, and she was always off gallivanting round with her friends or over at the footballer's table.

The girls nice but a bit of a flirt. I don't get how Edward doesn't notice that either, it's like he's trying to ignore it rather than deal with the issue that his girlfriend, if you could even call her that, likes the attention of a lot of other guys and on occasion gets too friendly with them. It's not a real relationship.

Why do you care?

_I don't._

Uh-huh.

_No I really don't. Edward is nothing but a pain in the ass and even if he was single it wouldn't matter because he's a sleaze who only thinks of himself and not about the consequences of his foolish actions. I certainly don't care._

We spent the rest of detention in silence. He was watching me quite intently but I didn't let it bother me. I couldn't wait to get away from him and get home. My parents would ask why I was late and even though I know I'd get in more trouble for telling them the truth I don't care right now, I just want to get as far away from Edward as possible.

Before I left I stopped by my locker to leave some of my books. Thankfully I didn't have to lug home two extra textbooks as I managed to do majority of my homework in detention, always a bonus there. When I opened my locker a note fell out like usual I was going to dismiss this as another attempt by my secret admirer but the writing was different and reading it I realised it certainly wasn't from him.

_When beginning a journey of revenge, start by digging two graves:_

_One for your enemy, _

_And one for yourself._

The note was written on the back of the flyer I did about Edward and Anabolic steroids. Glancing around quickly to see if anyone was watching me I was met with an empty hallway. By this point I was slightly freaked out.

Someone knows.

Quickly grabbing my cell phone out my back I dialled Leah's number, she picked up after three rings.

"Hey Bella what can I do for you? More things on Edward?"

"No not exactly. Have you mentioned to anyone about what I'm doing?"

"No why?"

"Someone sent me this note."

"Are you sure it's not from your secret admirer?"

"Yes I'm sure." I read it out to her and explained what it was written on as I made my way to my car.

"Someone knows."

"Yeah that's what I'm thinking. But who?"

"They didn't leave a name?"

"Nope, nothing."

"Then I have no idea. Look the good thing is that they haven't just come out and told everyone that it was you, Edward would take this as an act of war and god only knows what would happen then. Do you have anything planned next for Edward?"

"Nope not yet, I'm still trying to piece a few things together."

"Well let's just see how this person plays it out. They might be warning you that you're being too obvious or that you should stop or that they don't like what you're doing and are going to do something to you in return. For all we know, it could be a complete random or someone close to you."

"No one knows. I didn't tell anyone."

"Well someone knows now. Let's just see what happens."

I drove home in a daze. I couldn't even think of where to start with this. It could be anyone. What do they want anyway? By telling me that they know what were they hopping to accomplish?

_Edward's POV_

Bella seemed pretty pissed about that stunt I pulled at her house. In my defence it was just a joke that got a little out of hand. I had no idea that when we walked into the kitchen I would end up kissing her- and she was going to kiss me back- or that I was going to cuff her hands together and shout inappropriate things through the door.

I was caught up in the moment but enjoyed the hell out of it. I was tempted to ask her why she kissed me back but I was guessing she wouldn't give me a proper answer, probably some bull about how she was trapped and I was pinned against her. But that doesn't explain why her tongue begged entrance into my mouth. Either way I wasn't bothered, I got a fantastic kiss, one that I hope we will do again.

Instead of driving straight home I made a detour to Bella's house. Her parents must have really flipped out about all that and I never meant any of that to happen, it was just harmless fun. Bella's car wasn't parked in the drive which was good; I'd prefer her not knowing I was here.

When I rang the doorbell Charles answered it and immediately shut it again, on my face. I shook my head confused and tried again. This time he dashed outside with me.

"What are you doing?" he whispered rather loudly.

"I'm here to apologise."

"My father is going to kill you. He thinks you stole Bella's innocence and I'm pretty sure he has a shotgun at the ready for when he sees you next. Edward he'll murder you." That had me slightly worried, their father always reminded me of a caged lion, desperate to get out. The fact that he was a cop made things even worse.

"Look I don't care Bella's pissed and I feel bad. I just want to tell them-"The door opened.

"Charles who are you talking to? YOU!" Mr Swan looked slightly more terrifying now than I remembered him as. "Get away from here now before I-"

"I just want to talk to you," I said holding up my hands in a sort of surrender scenario.

"You have one minute to 'talk' before I tear you limb for limb." He crossed his arms over his chest and was practically shooting daggers at me. Thankfully Charles was still standing between us so I wasn't as terrified.

"It was a joke, that's all. I have never had any sexual relations with your daughter whatsoever. We're friends, I think, she doesn't like me very much but that's beside the point. The only reason I did any of that was to freak out Mr Moore. In the kitchen I had my hand over her mouth so she couldn't do anything. Nothing happened." Minus the kiss but he doesn't need to know that.

"Please don't punish Bella for this, she hasn't done anything. She was more horrified by my being there than Mr Moore. It was a joke and I'm sorry. If I knew that any of this was going to happen I never would have done it. I like your daughter-"His gazed flamed up like he was about to burst with anger. "Not like that obviously, I just want to be friends with her-"So what if I was lying, he was never going to know. "-and obviously this little stunt of mine pushed our friendship back a bit but I never meant to case so much trouble. Just don't punish Bella for something she had no control over, plea-"

"Minute's up." He stepped forward in the door frame so I decided to scram. Screw the apology; I was not going to die trying to give it. I quickly walked to my car and drove away. As I was leaving Charles was, by the looks of things, trying to reason with him.

Since Bella still seems repulsed by my notes etc. I decided to make one other detour on the way home. Hopefully this would work, I needed the help of our cheerleaders but I was pretty sure they'd only be willing to do this for me if I gave them a good reason. We'd just see how the next few days play out for Bella; she will eventually have to give me an answer.

_Bella's POV _

On Wednesday I was rather surprised to see those three bloody words again. Only this time the cheerleaders were wearing them. They all had t-shirts on with the message written across the front. It was like I couldn't escape this damn guy and his stupid question. I was getting sick of it.

As I was getting my books from my locker Leah wandered up.

"So you've seen them?"

"How could I not? But unfortunately I have. This guy is driving me nuts. I dread what he's going to do next. How many more people does he have to involve in this massacre?"

"It's hardly that bad."

"Have you heard anything about this, who he is or how the cheerleaders got those bloody t-shirts?"

"Nope. No one seems to know who he is. Jessica was given them, she handed them out to everyone else."

"How did she get them?"

"Jess told me that she received a package at her house with a note asking if she could get the cheerleaders to wear the t-shirts as this guy- whoever he is-can't seem to get the girl he's crazy about to take him seriously. She thought the romantic gesture was sweet and went ahead and got everyone to do it, just for him."

"Yeah I was going to say, some of them hate me. But she doesn't know who it's from?"

"Nope. There wasn't a return address or anything."

"Aghh I'm getting sick of this."

"Why don't you just answer him?"

"No because that would be giving him what he wants and I don't like the prospect of this whole admirer thing. If he spoke to me I'd take him seriously."

"How do you know that he hasn't already spoken to you?"

"Because if he had then he wouldn't keep this whole admirer charade up."

We started walking to first class. The cheerleaders we came across kept pleading with me to answer this guy as everyone deserves true love. Pfft what makes them think that this was going to be true love? For all I knew this guy could be some freaky stalker.

"So what do you have next for Edward?"

"Well I'm watching the effects of my last victory; Edward's meeting with the principal and his tennis coach to discuss the allegation. Whilst that all unfolds for him I'll be trying to charm Mike Newton who works in the administration's office into letting me either work there or I'll borrow his key and get all the information on Edward's grades to see if he's been cheating."

"Mike Newton, good luck with that." I groaned.

Mike was a nice guy, rather shy but kinda sweet. The only issue with him was that he totally freaks out around the opposite sex and he had a crush on me two years ago but the entire football team took the piss out of him. It was shameful bullying and I severed all ties with those assholes. But since then Mike has never been able to look me in the eye and acts like I'm not around.

"I know but he's the only one who has a copy other than Mrs Baker and she is definitely not going to let me work there or borrow her key."

"What did you do to piss her off?"

"I got caught making out with Jacob Black on her desk when she left us to get some more paper for the printer."

"That must have been fun."

"Oh yeah."

_Edward's POV_

I was dragged out of first period to have a meeting with the principal – _can't wait for this_- and my tennis coach. They were taking this allegation seriously, well they have a right to since I have used them, but not in the last two years.

Mr Moore looked slightly embarrassed when I walked into his office. I was pretty sure he was replaying the dinner over at Bella's in his mind. That certainly was a fun night. Though I swear I saw his wife checking me out, that thought alone scared the hell out of me.

"Mr Cullen do you know why you've been called here?" Mr Moore asked as I sat opposite with my coach on the other side of him.

"I have a rough idea."

"It's about this," he said, sliding the flyer across the desk. "We have been asked to investigate this matter. Basically have you ever taken anabolic steroids?"

"No."

"Look Mr Moore I believe Edward on this, if he says he didn't take them then he didn't take them. This is just some silly allegation made by some jealous student to ruin Edward. I won't have that. There is no need to question him about this or to ban him for the upcoming season; scouts are coming for god's sake he was going to be offered a scholarship."

"Wait, you're not going to let me play?" I asked rather angry about this new development.

"Thank you Coach Banner for that. Edward it's not that simple, there are going to be a lot of questions, investigations, we need you to take some drug tests and we're going to look over your previous results in other drug checks-"

"He's clean, never had an issue." Mr Moore scowled over at Coach Banner for interrupting.

"Well that will help but we need to get all this sorted out. We're going to be watching you carefully and at the moment we just need to do the routine questions. Do you know who made this?" He pointed to the flyer.

"No."

"Have any idea?"

"No." And that was the problem. This was so random; I can't even begin to think of who I pissed off that knew about this. I would grill Tyler after school and see what he had to say.

"Right well we don't seem to be getting very far with this. We're going to be doing some checks on you here and there. We'll get back to you soon about whether or not you're going to play this season. You can leave now."

I stood up and left. This was crap; I was going to lose everything because some asshole hated my guts. When I found out who did this I was going to gut them in the quad. In the waiting area outside Mr Moore's office was Emmett sitting slouched across three of the chairs.

"What're you doing here?"

"I was apparently rude in class. Mr Duncan thought that it would be ideal if left class and thought about my behaviour. I think he's trying to sweat me out by sending me here. I really don't think he knows that I spend most of my days sitting here. What're you in there for?"

"The steroids." He nodded and sat up, leaving space for me to sit. What was the point of returning to class now? I sat down next to him and glanced around at Mr Moore's office door, he seems to be having quite an argument with Coach Banner.

"Who are you taking to the country club's thing?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

"Em...you know Rose Hale?"

"The girl we hang out with all the time?"

"Yeah, I've kinda had a thing for her and she usually goes every year so I thought why not this year she goes with me."

"She say yes?"

"Obviously. I take it your going with Lauren?"

"Eh...I don't know." He looked startled and sat up to hear more.

"Expand if you will."

"I don't know if I want to keep dating her. She's nice but...I can't help feel that she doesn't even like me. I'm thinking about breaking up with her. It doesn't help that I'm chasing after Bella at the same time."

"Yeah that is pretty unfair on Lauren. But hey, she'll get over it. I like the idea of the t-shirts."

"Yeah me too. I'm just glad that the cheerleaders agreed to do it."

"Well they believe that 'they're fighting for true love everywhere' an exact quote." I shook my head and smirked.

"I better get going; if Mr Moore comes out here and finds me he won't be pleased."

"Enjoy the rest of your day. When you going to talk to Lauren?"

"She's coming over to my house tonight; I'll talk to her then."

Just like I said Lauren came over that night. We were meant to go out but I decided to stay in, there was no point taking her out when I didn't plan on dragging it out. The faster the better. If only she realised that.

For some reason we ended up fooling around, I don't even know how. All I knew was that she was straddling my waist and kissing the hell out of me. I was so caught up in the moment I hadn't even realised that we were upstairs, on my bed, stripping each other's clothes off.

But something just didn't feel right.

"Wait...I'm sorry I can't do this," I said breathless.

"Don't tell me those flyers are true."

"No...No it's just I don't think we should go out anymore." She was still straddling me but looked as though I had just slapped her across the face.

"You're kidding?"

"Em...no I'm not."

Then she slapped me, and bloody hard.

"You're a complete dick you know that?" I sat up clutching my cheek as she grabbed her clothes off the floor.

"Yeah I know that." Then she left the room, practically in tears.

That could not have gotten worse.

A.N.

I'm not taking credit for the note found in Bella's locker about revenge- it's a Chinese proverb- I didn't write it, just thought it was fitting.


	12. Chapter 12: Awkward Situations

_Disclaimer: I own nothing _

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Twelve: Getting Caught Leads To Awkward Situations**

_Bella's POV_

On Monday morning I stepped out my car and automatically wanted to crawl back in it. This guy was out to get me and it seemed he paired up with the devil himself to shove it in my face.

From what I could see, majority of the student body making their way in and out the school were wearing badges that had that bloody question on it. I was losing my mind. Then about ten feet in front of me stood Edward who was wearing about eight of the badges, all different colours, smiling smugly at me, watching as I squirmed.

As I walked closer Edward's grin grew then when I was in two feet of him he stuck a box in my face.

"Badge?" he chimed. That rat was handing them out. I scowled and tried to grab the box from him but he shook his head and increased his grip. "Not going to happen so don't even try it sweetheart."

"How did you get these?"

"They were at my house so I decided to hand them out, I think that's what I'm meant to do. Care for one?" He was just loving this, asshole.

Before I had the chance to slap them out his hands Leah came by and swooped me away. She entwined her arm with mine and led me into the main building, away from that swine.

"So I'm curious, your next move?"she asked quietly as we made our way to my locker.

"Cheating, not on girls, I know he does that anyway."

"Speaking of girls, he broke up with Lauren. Apparently he slept with her then dumped her straight after he got off but that's just a rumour, give me three hours and I'll confirm what really happened." I nodded and opened my locker, processing what she just said.

It doesn't really make sense why he broke up with Lauren. Now he has to find a suitable date for the Country Club's Christmas Party and what with those flyers still going around, no girl was going to touch Edward. He practically made himself dateless since there was no way he'd find another girl to take, not one that meets his standards anyway.

Before first class started I headed along to the office to find out if they had any jobs open. That way I could somehow get into the student records and have a look for Edward's which would help determine if he's cheating in class.

When I entered the main office Mrs Baker was absent from her desk, such a relief, but Mike Newton was there. He was standing by the printer filling the paper tray. I cleared my throat and caught his attention. Mike walked over slowly and nodded for me to say whatever I was here to say.

"Sorry to bother you, I was just wondering if there were any positions available here in the office?" I asked as he avoided looking at me.

"Eh yeah there are. It's after school and we need you to start immediately."

"What days?"

"Monday, Wednesday and Friday. You would work from 4 o'clock to 6 o'clock. Interested?"

"Definitely." Mike nodded and handed a sheet across the desk for me to fill in.

"Just answer the questions and I'll hand it in to Mrs Baker, she'll get back to you before the end of the day to tell you whether or not you've been given the position or not." I took the sheet and sat down across from the desk.

It was all basic questions about who I was and why I wanted to work there. Of course I had to lie about that, I think I would get in a lot of trouble if I said I only wanted to work there to break into the student records and print copies of Edward's grades. Before I handed it back to Mike he questioned me a little.

"If you don't mind me asking, why do you want to work here? I didn't really think it was your sort of scene," he said apprehensively. Without realising he caught me off guard. Mike knew me well enough to know when I was lying and I can't exactly tell the truth here.

"I just...my parents want me to get more involved. They're not happy with me at the moment and I'm trying to get back in their good books." He seemed to have bought that and just returned to what he was doing.

"Would you be okay with me working here? It's not likely that I will but if I was to work here, would you be okay with it?" He bit his lip for a second then tried to brush it off.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Well you've never particularly been comfortable around me since..." I stopped and looked at him, he knew what I was referring to, there was no need to say it. I was pretty sure he didn't want to remember being shamefully bullied.

"I won't be here when you work, that's why there is a job opening." I nodded and handed him my sheet. "Mrs Baker will come find you to tell you if you can work here or not."

With that the bell rang and I darted off to first class. When I entered the classroom Alice grinned cheerfully and caught my attention.

"So I take it you've seen these?" she said proudly, showing off one of the many badges she was wearing. Even my friends are supporting this idiot.

"Yes," I fumed.

"And are you going to answer him?"

"No." She pouted.

"Why not? Bella whoever this guy is he's going out of his way for you. The least you could do is answer him. Plus he's even given you a choice of what you want. Question, dinner or a gift. Just to test the waters and see how well he's done his research go for a gift, let's see what he gets you."

"Even if I was to answer him I certainly wouldn't select the gift option."

"Aww why not?"

"Because I don't accept gifts from strangers."

"How do you know it's a stranger? It could be someone really close to you," she questioned. I eyed her suspiciously.

"Do you know who it is?" She smirked and shook her head.

"Nope not got a clue. But I'm just saying, for all you know it could be a friend or someone who hangs out with you a lot."

"Like who?"

"Like Emmett or Edward."

"I doubt it's either of those two."

"Yeah me too but still for all you know it could be."

"Could be Edward?"

"Yeah," she said shrugging. I laughed at the thought of Edward being my secret admirer.

"Nope, that's ridiculous, come on we're talking about Edward here. He's not romantic and sweet, he wouldn't go out his way and he hates me."

"There is a fine line between love and hate."

"It's not Edward," I told her, she wanted a reaction out of me and she got one.

"If you say so. But just to make sure why don't you prove that it's not Edward by answering this guy which will lead you up to meeting him."

"Will that make you drop all the Edward and Bella jokes, stop you teasing me incessantly about him?" She nodded. "Then fine, I'll answer him."

_Edward's POV_

At the end of the day I made my way back to my locker. Today had been uneventful for me. The only run in I had with Bella was this morning and to be honest I kinda missed her yelling and arguing with me. She always looks really good when she's angry and that's all part of the fun.

The badges were Emmett's idea; he's really helping me out with this. Since the t-shirts didn't exactly work most of the cheerleaders stopped wearing them but with the badges they aren't only helping me but for some reason they think that they are still fighting for true love everywhere. I didn't know how they came to this conclusion and I really didn't want to know.

After breaking up with Lauren things had been on edge. She hadn't said anything bad about me but her friends were being overly dramatic about how we broke up. By fifth period I heard that we broke up after having a massive drunken orgy and that the only reason we broke up was because she wouldn't let me tie her up.

Sorry but that thought alone makes me grimace slightly. I was not implying Lauren was bad to look at because she's not it's just I'm not that adventurous with sex. Considering I've never had it yet I don't think I should be adventurous anyway. Bondage just doesn't appeal to me.

But according to most of the student body, I was now a sex addict who is exceedingly kinky in the bedroom. As if. I know I'm not a saint, far from it, but please why would any of that appeal to me?

All of this going round was also making it exceedingly hard for me to find a date to the Country Club's Christmas Party. Most people already going have their dates which means most of the nice, sweet, suitable girls are taken. There are only a few decent girls left but I doubt any of them will go with me. But I still have about a week and a bit before I have to think of that so it will be fine.

After rooting through my locker and removing the unnecessary books I headed towards the exit. On my way out I walked past the unused notice board and spotted something. When I first posted the notes I selected this board to be where Bella could make her decision. It was just one lone note pinned up and at the moment there is a red circle round one of my answers.

Now obviously I can't be sure that she circled this so I'd have to check. I pulled my phone out and headed into the toilets across the hall. Emmett answered after two rings; he would be in the changing rooms right now getting ready to leave after gym.

"What can I do for you?" he asked.

"Did she answer it?"

"Oh yeah I forgot to tell you, she circled 'question' on your note. She finally gave you an answer, congratulations."

"Are you sure it was her?" For all I know it could be some prank.

"Yep, it was definitely her. Jasper and Alice were with her when she did it. Jasper told me at the start of last period and I heard Alice talking about it during gym."

"Good."

"So what does this mean? What are you going to do?" Emmett asked, the excitement filling his voice.

"I..." I paused for a second. "I have no idea. I never thought she would answer, I don't even know what I'm going to ask her or how I'm going to ask her." I was panicking, she finally answered me and now I had nothing. To be honest I thought she would continue to ignore all of it for at least a few more months. I guess I was wrong, that should be a good thing.

_Bella's POV_

It was three thirty and I had heard nothing from Mrs Baker so I assumed I wasn't going to get the job in the office. However just as I was leaving my last class, I had a free period after that, she sought me out and said that no one else had applied and that was the only reason why I was being offered the job.

"Now Miss Swan this is not a time to mess around. You are being employed by the school to help out and that is exactly what you will do. Help not hinder. If I think you are messing around at all then you will be fired on the spot. There is to be no one else allowed in the offices with you, those areas are strictly forbidden to any other student. My private office is off limits as well, there is no reason for you to be in there. Understand?" I nodded, trying to ignore the glare she was sending me.

"Good. Follow me." I wasn't meant to start until four o'clock but when I asked about it she mistook my question as one of rudeness and defiance. She then informed me that she had checked my timetable and knows I have a free period so what better time is there to show me the ropes now rather than wasting time later.

After being briefed for about twenty minutes Mrs Baker finally left me alone and headed into her private office. I was doing routine things like filling, shredding, copying sheets of paper then putting them in their allocated places. It was really dull.

From the brief guide though I did work out that the only computer in the office to have access to the student records was Mrs Baker's. Now that really sucked. I wanted to check out Edward's grades and see if there is anything odd about them tonight.

On Wednesday we have a test in Biology and to see if he's cheating I was going to print out a copy of his answers and a copy of the actual answers and see if there is anything unusual about them. Now it was going to be really hard to prove if he has been cheating or not since he might actually study, I doubt it though, but I can't be wrong about this.

If an allegation comes out that he's cheating and there isn't any proof then they are going to look at who has access to these records and my ass is on the line. This would surely get me suspended, which I don't need right now as my parents are still pissed.

My father had lightened up a bit about the situation but my mother wasn't convinced, she still thinks that she will be a grandmother soon and I was going to be a teenage mom, which is highly unlikely. I was not even having sex with anyone so what's she worried about?

Mrs Baker opened her office door, checking again to see if I was working, then wandered out, standing next to the desk I was sitting at.

"Bella I just received a call from Mrs Donald and she needs me over there immediately to hand out punishment to two male students who were fornicating among the gym equipment. Disgraceful! I trust you to continue working like you are now; I will see you when I get back." With that she stormed out of the office, leaving me conveniently alone.

I stood up quickly and darted into her office. The computer was on and loaded up so I sat down behind her desk, careful not to touch anything, and loaded up the school database. Since Mrs Baker was already logged on it didn't ask for a password or a username, if it had I would have been stuck.

Hunting through the subfolders I found the student records and searched for Edward Cullen. It had taken me about ten minutes just to get this far and soon Mrs Baker would be on her way back. There were twelve returns under Edward's student file. They all had subfolders but I didn't have time to root through them so I just printed the lot.

The printer was out in the main office so I could collect them there. As I was closing the program I heard Mrs Baker's footsteps in the hall. As quickly as possible I was out of her seat and at the door, but it wasn't me who opened it.

"What are you doing in here girl? I thought I told you to stay out of here." Mrs Baker stood fuming in front of me.

Oh crap.

I had to think fast on my feet, she was demanding an answer, one I couldn't give. For some reason I hoped she would take pity on me and I burst into tears, a talent I perfected doing drama for three years. Just as fast as the scowl appeared across her face it was gone.

"I'm...sorry Mrs Baker...it's just...I didn't want to leave the office and I...needed a tissue...I'm having quite an emotional time right now," I mumbled, pretending to cry.

She bought it.

Within seconds she was sitting me down, placing a box of tissues in my lap and asking me if I want to discuss what is making this such a difficult time. I may be fast at thinking of an excuse but fabricating an entire lie in a few seconds was hard so I took the easy option out.

"It's about a guy and I'm embarrassed so I don't really want to talk about it."

But Mrs Backer seemed to think this meant I did really want to talk about it and I just needed to see that she cared. As if.

"Bella sweetie-"I never thought she'd call me that. "-there is no need to be embarrassed. Remember I was your age once too, I'm sure I can help. It wouldn't happen to do with that young man I caught you on the desk with would it?"

"Oh Jake...eh no not him."

"Okay then you don't need to tell me who it is but why not explain the problem," she asked pityingly.

"Em...well...I did something I shouldn't have and the only reason I did it was because he wanted to." That sounded good enough. I hoped she'd leave it now. I had taken control of my 'emotions' and had stopped 'crying'.

"Are we talking about intercourse dear?" There I was sitting with a woman who was at least seventy and she's asking me that. I obviously blushed because she expanded. "There is no need to be embarrassed dear; we all do it at one point in time. It's how we do it that matters. You clearly aren't happy how your first time went bad. With me I had to wait for my wedding night, those were the times. You clearly have fallen into peer pressure, if only you had waited for that someone special. But it's too late now."

"Anyway why not come along to the church on Sunday like last weekend and I can arrange for you to have a special meeting with a few of the woman there and I'm sure they will be able to offer you the correct support. Plus why don't you invite this young man along who has put you in this much distress and we might be able to help him too."

I nodded meekly thinking that I'd just got myself in so much crap.

"Now dear I feel that it would be entirely cruel to keep you working this afternoon so why don't you go home and relax."

"Thank you Mrs Baker. One more thing, please don't tell my parents."

"No of course not dear, I wouldn't dream of it, this will just stay between you and me." I stood up and exited her office.

In the main office area I grabbed the printed sheets out the printer and stuffed them in my bag before heading towards my locker. It was five o'clock when I got out to my car and headed home. My parents would think I had gotten myself another detention so I'd have to deal with that when I get there.

This week, I could tell, was going to be exceedingly long and I now dreaded Sundays. It wasn't like I was a fan of going to church before but now I absolutely detest the idea of it. The whole situation was going to be one big awkward nightmare that I couldn't wake up from.

Even though Edward had nothing to do with this I still blame him. These are his records I printed out therefore his fault. Without even trying to he makes my life impossible.


	13. Chapter 13: Letter One: Nonexistent

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Thirteen: Letter One: Nonexistent**

_Bella's POV_

After shuffling through the print out from Edward's student record I found some interesting things. For most of his subjects he was fine, good grades and looking through the test sheets it was obvious he had revised. Or at least he had revised for most subjects.

Biology was where things start to get murky.

In his recent tests Edward got all the big mark questions correct but all of the one or two mark questions wrong. Even when the answer was the same for both, just more detailed for the bigger mark questions. It doesn't quite make sense. Why would he go out of his way to get the one mark questions wrong?

On Wednesday we had a biology test and throughout it I watched Edward, to see if he was obviously cheating or if there was anywhere for him to hide answers. There wasn't anything as far as I could see.

After school Mrs Baker was out of the office so I had time to go in and print out a sheet of Edward's biology test and the answers from the teachers section. He did the exact same thing again. Answered all the low mark questions wrong but all the big mark questions correct.

We have another test on Friday and just to test Edward a little I opened the answer sheet up from the teacher's file. This was probably the most risky thing I'd done to date but I changed the answer sheet. There was a multiple choice section in the next test so I altered quite a few of the answers then changed some of the big mark questions as well. I couldn't change them all but I'd say I left about 40 percent of them alone so that they were actually the right answer.

I printed off a copy of the original, all correct, answer sheet and then the one I altered. On Friday I would be able to see if Edward has had access to these records and if he was cheating at all. I do think he's cheating; I just need to find out how.

On my secret admirer front I've heard nothing from him since I answered his bloody note. I was beginning to think this was all one big joke. Either that or he's not interested at all. I was not even sure why that bothers me.

I guess he seriously didn't think I would answer. I was curious, if he answers at all, how this was going to happen. Like how was I going to reply to him and what sort of questions was he going to ask?

I left all those questions to when or if he asked anything which I highly doubted he would.

_Edward's POV_

All week I couldn't think of a way for my questions to Bella to work. There just didn't seem to be a way that I could ask her questions and have her answer them without everybody in the student body knowing. It had to be somewhere private and a place no one looked.

On Thursday night the idea came to me. Therefore I decided to put the plan into motion on the Friday, today. I went to school early, hoping to be there before Bella or there was no way for me to slip the note in her locker.

The note being posted through her locker was one of two notes she would be receiving that day. It held all the instructions on how this system was going to work and where she will find the second note and where she should put her response. That way it stays between us, and any one she tells, but I had a funny feeling that she'd keep these to herself. After all I was going out on a limb here.

Rejection boomed over my head and knowing Bella she would hang me out to dry. But still, I was willing to try. She's worth it though. I just hoped it didn't back fire on me. It would be completely worthless to have come this far and not win over Bella. Then again she may not want to be won over and that would be another issue.

After slipping the first note in Bella's locker I headed off to my second destination to put in place the second. I was hoping that Bella will take this seriously and go through with it. I'd check at the very end of the day, around six o'clock after tennis practice, to see if the note was still there. If it was then I guess she wasn't going to take this seriously and I'd stop.

All I wanted was a chance and I was hoping I would get one. Bella does seem to be coming round to me though. She still gets angry and annoyed at me most of the time but I kind of like it. It seems as though I take three steps forward and then four steps back with her.

I guess I'd just have to wait and see if she replies.

_Bella's POV_

I travelled through the day in a dream. In biology I watched Edward again but still saw no evidence that he was cheating. I'd be able to find out the truth at the end of the day though.

Mrs Baker wasn't in the office; I was beginning to think she doesn't even use it. Therefore I snuck in and accessed Edward's student records again. I printed off the right ones and went back to the desk I was working at to look through them.

Edward definitely had access to the school records. From all the big mark questions that I changed he'd gotten wrong. He was cheating, now I just have to find out how. Edward's average test mark in Biology was about 80 percent; well for this one he got 37 percent. I bet he was going to be surprised on Monday.

I was starting to wonder what else Edward Cullen keeps hidden. He took anabolic steroids, he cheats in Biology, what else? I still have a few other alleys to check before I can make such an allegation about him cheating but it seems pretty obvious that he's getting given answers somehow.

I doubt he was getting them from Mike, he would never give them up unless threatened and that just doesn't seem like Edward's style. He has to have a connection in the office but only Mike and I work here among the student body and I know I was not giving him the answers. But if no one was giving him the answers then he has to be getting them from the school database, which was almost impossible to hack into.

It's connected with all school user accounts, the email system, student records, health and safety reports, teacher records and a bunch of other things. There are probably only three students who can hack into it. Edward's friends with one of them. Our good friend Jasper.

But again that doesn't seem like Jasper' style. He wouldn't help Edward cheat and he wouldn't hack into the school accounts for things like that. They would probably hack in to play some stupid prank, like the one they played on me. Other than that I doubt they would want into the school database.

At about ten to six I left the office and headed back to my bit. No one was around at this time of day having all gone home so I decided to leave early.

I opened my locker and a piece of paper fell to the floor. Before picking it up I took the correct books and placed them in my bag. Glancing at my watch I noticed it was five to six which meant I wasn't going to get back home until half six.

Eventually I picked up the piece of paper and read it quickly, catching on to what it was.

_I would like to apologise about the delay, you caught me off guard and I had no idea what to ask you even though I've been planning this for about a month. _

_These would be more like letters to get to know each other. It's unlikely that you would be completely honest in person therefore I would like to get to know you this way. It's a two way street though. If I ask you a question then you can ask me one. You don't have to; I'm just giving you the option._

_There are some questions I won't answer, all to do with who I am. That will come out in time but not anytime soon. _

_There is a dictionary; it's exceedingly old, in the crush hall. Hopefully you know where the crush hall is. The book is on the bookshelf in the corner of the room. It's pretty obvious when you go over there to look for it. The letter to you will be somewhere in the dictionary. You can put your reply, if you decide to reply, in there too. _

_It's there now if you want it. It's up to you if you want to tell people about this but I'm hoping that you'll have some respect for this, I am putting my feelings on the line. _

I shut my locker and walked along to the crush hall. The place was still empty so I walked over to the bookshelves and pulled out the ancient dictionary, sprawling it across the small table in front of me.

Shifting through the pages I eventually found the letter. It was in the 'N' section of the dictionary. One of the words on the page was highlighted and one of its meanings aswell. Whoever was sending me these had balls, if the librarian found out they had vandalised in this book they would go crazy.

_**N- Nonexistent: **__Something that does not exist._

I took out the letter from the page and slid the dictionary back in place on the shelf then started to read it. I was intrigued by the highlighted text he used. It seemed really fitting for our situation.

_Dear Bella, _

_This will be the first of twelve letters to you, if you wish to accept them. I will only write the next once I've received a response. Maybe at the end you'll be able to see why there are only twelve letters. _

_Just to be clear, I will ask you five questions each letter and you can ask me three aswell. The next letter is to be put in the thesaurus which sits next to the dictionary on the shelf. You can respond whenever you like but please just respond. _

_Anyway, here are my first five questions:_

_What's the one thing you could never live without?_

_Out of curiosity, just to know who my competition is, what is your relationship status between you and Edward Cullen?_

_Who is the one person who you can't stand?_

_What is your one regret?_

_Why did you hold off from answering my notes?_

_Everything you tell me will stay between me and you. I won't tell a soul as I have the possibility of severing this very thin tie between you and me. I'm hoping that you will not share any information I tell you through these letters. If you do so then I'm afraid I've underestimated your trust. _

_From your secret admirer. _

I folded the letter up and slipped it into my bag. All I had to do now was decide if I was going to answer him back or not.


	14. Chapter 14: Church On Sunday

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Fourteen: Church On Sunday**

_Bella's POV_

I was woken up on Sunday morning by my mother telling me to hurry up or we'd be late for church. This was the only time she actually spoke to me. Another reason why I can't stand Edward. My father was talking to me but most of the time he ignores my very being and my mother still thinks I'm a disgrace. All because some stupid joke he played.

About fifteen minutes later we were all in the car with the awkward silence consuming us all. I was sitting in the back twiddling my thumbs, trying to ignore my mother's scornful gaze. God only knows what I'd done now but surely it's something disgraceful.

"I had a talk with Mrs Moore," my mother told me. I didn't know how this was meant to be relevant to me.

"Oh yeah."

"Yes. She plays bridge with Mrs Baker who works in the school office." I immediately knew where this was going. Mrs Baker said she wouldn't say anything but I have a funny feeling that she lied to me. Also it doesn't help if she had this conversation with Mrs Moore since she already thinks I was some kind of nymphomaniac.

I looked up and my mother turned slightly in her seat, she was testing to see if I had caught onto what she was talking about. We were about ten minutes from the church and I just knew that the next ten minutes were going to be the worst of my life. From the looks of Charlie and Phil's faces I could tell they were not going to help me either.

"She informed me that you and Mrs Baker had a special chat in her office on Monday." I glanced out the window trying to play innocent. It came to my attention at this point that we were going the wrong way.

"Where are we going?" I asked, not understanding the reason for the detour.

"We are going to pick up Edward Cullen. After being told about your emotional breakdown everything fell into place. Edward is obviously the young man who you are having sexual relations with therefore we have invited him along to the church for this support session."

My eyes almost popped out of my head. The car pulled up outside of Edward's house and he walked down the path to the car. When he entered he smiled flawlessly at me. I can't believe that this was happening. How in god's name did Edward get involved in this? My entire day was going to be a train wreck I just knew it.

The car ride was completely silent from there on out. Edward sat uncomfortably, never looking at me once. We all exited the car and entered the church, being greeted and welcomed. Edward and I were shown to a room in the back which would be hosting the support meeting for us. We had two hours before the sermon started so we were going to have the silly support session in fifteen minutes. I truly couldn't believe this was happening.

Edward pulled out a chair and sat down leisurely, like this was an everyday occurrence. I sighed and sat down aswell, rubbing my arms due to how cold the room was.

"How can you be so calm?" I asked slightly agitated at his being here.

"There is nothing to worry about."

"What are you even doing here Edward?" I said standing up and pacing. Edward stood up and stopped my pacing, making me stop in front of him.

"My mother spoke to your mother who spoke to Mrs Moore who spoke to Mrs Baker who informed her that you had a break down about doing something with a guy that you didn't want to do. Now I really had no idea why I was being dragged into this mess but I can't seem to come up with a name for who this guy is. So tell me, did you make it all up?"

"Yeah," I confessed.

"Why?"

"Because Mrs Baker was about to go crazy at me and I didn't need it so I made it all up. I never thought in a million years that you'd be dragged into this fabrication. But still you never answered my question. What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to have fun. Winding up these stuck up old hags is just the sort of entertainment I need," he said smiling happily.

_Edward's POV_

I wrapped my arms round her waist, pulling Bella into my embrace.

"We're just going to have fun today, enjoy it," I explained, she frowned and shook her head.

"This isn't going to be fun. I'm dreading this. You better not do anything that is going to cause a snowball effect and end up having me joining a convent." I laughed and shook my head this time.

"We'll enjoy ourselves, I promise."

"You can't promise that Edward. I'm going to hate this and it's all your fault. I hate you." She was smirking and looked slightly mischievous which drove me crazy with desire. But since we are in a church and I doubt she would be pleased if I mauled her right now so I brushed the entire situation off.

"You love me really," I told her as I pulled her into a hug, just to be this close and have her not shove me away was amazing. I was still surprised at that myself.

"No you just wish I did."

_Don't I know it._

Bella pulled back from the embrace and looked up into my eyes. I felt mesmerised by her; I hate how she had this effect on me. I have no idea what came over me but I kissed her. Like past experiences I expected her to shove me away but to my surprise she wrapped her arms round my neck and kissed me harder. This was turning out to be a very good day.

She softly ran her hand through my hair and shifted forward so we were even closer, I was definitely not complaining. My hands made their way to her waist, trying to pull her closer, if that was even possible. Unfortunately this alerted Bella as to what we were doing and she pulled back, both of us fighting for breath.

Before I realised what happened Bella had pushed me away and walked over to the other side of the room. I shook my head, ran a hand through my hair and tried to get focused again. That kiss was mind blowing but I had a funny feeling that she won't be interested in doing it again anytime soon.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"For what?"

"Kissing you back," she explained as though I was stupid.

"Why should you apologise? It was great. Let's do it again." She frowned and shook her head.

"No way. That was a onetime thing, never to happen again." I personally think she was trying to convince herself more than me.

"Sure," I said cockily. It agitated her and she sent a glare my way. I still couldn't help loving it when she got mad at me.

"So how is this going to work?" she asked as she sat down again. I joined her and sat in the chair next to hers, shuffling it closer earning me another glare.

"How's what going to work?"

"This. The support session. These women are going to be asking about our sex lives which are nonexistent."

"Yours may be nonexistent but mine is certainly not," I told her.

"Oh yeah that's right you screwed Lauren then dumped her, how could I forget." I shook my head, I hated that stupid rumour. That was certainly not what happened, I could never do that.

"You're wrong Bella. That's not what happened. The fact that you can even think that I would do that just proves that you don't know me at all."

"See there's the thing, I don't want to know you Edward. I want you to leave me alone," she said as she crossed her arms over her chest. She really shouldn't have done that. I was already fighting my control; I didn't need her making it worse by accidentally accenting her breasts in that top. I sighed and shook my head, trying to shake all the wanton thoughts away.

I needed a cold shower.

"Well I honestly can't believe that you want me to leave you alone when you just kissed the hell out of me seconds ago." She scowled again.

"Like I already said, that was a onetime thing, never to happen again. Don't get so cocky and think that I actually wanted to kiss you."

"Who are you trying to kid? You wanted to kiss me, don't even lie." She opened her mouth to retaliate but the door opened and three women walked in.

_Bella's POV_

Before I could answer Edward Mrs Baker, Mrs Moore and Mrs Evans walked in, greeting us and taking a seat. Things were about to get uncomfortable.

"Bella dear I know I said I wouldn't say anything but Mrs Moore told me that she had an idea about which young man you may be seeing therefore I thought it only fitting that we invite him here today so that you two can work out you problems. Think of it like you two are at relationship therapy, finding and working through your problems together," Mrs Baker told me.

"That's a very smart idea Mrs Baker and I thank you for inviting me here today so that we can work through the problems." Edward said, grasping my hand and looking at me adoringly. That ass was loving the charade he was pulling. I nodded agreeing, just going along with it. Let's see what he was going to do.

"Edward, would you say you and Bella have more of a physical relationship or an emotional relationship?" Mrs Evans asked. She was the only one present who hadn't seen us play off each other and I had a funny feeling she was in for a big surprise today.

"I would say it's all physical. We started on a very physical note and it has snowballed from there. To begin with it was all lust. I craved for Bella like no other and would struggle to keep it in my pants when she was around."

I wanted to burst out laughing. The three woman in front of us had their heads all cocked to the side and the colour had completely drained from their cheeks. It was priceless. I could see Edward trying to fight the laughter aswell but he seemed to have more control over it than me.

"That's lovely dear," Mrs Evans said looking completely lost and rather speechless. Edward just nodded smiling away. He was a genius, this could be fun.

"Bella you mentioned that you did something you didn't want to do. What was that dear?" Mrs Baker asked, trying to move on from Edward's comments. "Did you two have intercourse?" Deciding to play the innocent and fragile one in this 'relationship' I nodded softly, diverting my eyes from them all. I caught Edward's wink out the corner of my eye. He knew what I was up to.

"You weren't ready for that?" Edward asked, rubbing my back and being all concerned. I shook my head again and he turned my head softly to look at him. To be honest if I didn't know that we were making this up as we were going along I would have thought he was being genuine.

"Bella, my love, why didn't you say anything? I would have stopped. Was I too rough?" I nodded and tried to look away again. He lightly brushed his lips against mine. "I'm sorry."

"What exactly happened dear?" Mrs Moore asked, breaking the light kisses Edward was trailing across my jaw. I had forgotten they were even there. "Was he too rough? Was that the problem?"

"Edward's a very generous lover so I was okay with the idea of having intercourse with him, I just didn't think it would be that rough or he would be that big," I mumbled quietly but so they would hear. Edward was now trying so hard not to laugh at their expressions.

"How big was it?" Edward and I both sent worried glances at Mrs Moore's question. She then blushed furiously. "I mean how _bad_ was it dear? How bad was it?" I opened my mouth to speak but Edward cut in.

"Sorry just to answer your first question, it's nine inches." He then sat back in his seat, waiting for me to answer the second question. I could feel the laughter building up inside but there was no way I was going to ruins this by laughing first.

"Oh my." Mrs Evans said before shaking her head.

Mrs Moore, Mrs Baker and Mrs Evans had all paled slightly at Edward's response. I swear Mrs Moore was checking Edward out though. He noticed too and crossed his arms over his chest, trying to stop her undressing him with her eyes.

"It wasn't bad. It just hurt, a lot." Edward rubbed my hand comfortingly, playing the caring boyfriend. "Edward was just too rough for my inexperience."

"I get carried away sometimes. I'm sorry Bella." Edward pretended to whisper but so the whole room could hear. "Desire just runs wild with you. You have no idea how hard you make it. The body part and the situation. I struggle to keep control and I'm sorry, I never would have been that rough if I knew it was hurting you." He then kissed my hand and smiled softly my way.

"It's okay Edward. But believe me when I say I know how hard I make it," I said glancing my eyes down to his crotch causing the three women to blush again and look round the room.

"Right well-"Mrs Baker started, her voice quivering slightly. "-it is important to make sure you two are being smart when having intercourse. Are you two using any type of protection?"

"Oh yes, we're using condoms," Edward said as he pulled out a box and threw it to Mrs Baker who caught it then read the box.

"Aghh yes I see. You may have these back," she said passing them to him. They worked a charm. Her eyes almost popped out her head when he tossed them to her.

"Thanks, we'll need them." I looked sideways at him to see how far he was going to go here. He smirked and put the box in his pocket. The three woman though looked as though they were about to pass out.

"We'll personally I think you two have a very physical relationship and maybe if you two spent less time in the bedroom then-"

"Sorry we don't actually spend any time in the bedroom Mrs Evans. No we've never had intercourse with each other in a bed. We've had it in a car, in a swimming pool, in a public toilet, in one of the school classrooms, in the bushes in the park one night, in stables, on a desk, on a kitchen counter and my favourite, on the tennis courts. So never in the bedroom." I swear he was trying to kill them with these comments.

"Okay...right. Well if you two spent less time having intercourse then I think you could develop a strong relationship. But only if intercourse is not a main reason that you two are staying together. Do you think that's possible?"

"No," I answered.

"Yes," Edward said at the same time.

We smirked at each other then back to the woman in front of us.

"Well I think we have done enough. You clearly are able to talk about your problems together so we shall leave you now and you two can discuss these matters some further." All three of them stood up and left then the room rather quickly

We waited a minute before both bursting out laughing. That was completely genius. After a minute or two we regained ourselves and both sat there smirking. Edward pulled me over and I ended up in his lap.

"You were brilliant," he said as he smiled flawlessly at me.

"Why thank you. You were very good yourself. I honestly thought that they were going to keel over due to some of your comments." He nodded agreeing and licked his lips and gazed at mine.

I knew it was coming, that much was obvious, but I was still surprised when his lips brushed mine. Just like last time my hands wrapped round his neck, bringing him closer. His hands were caressing my skin under my top softly, driving me wild. I pulled back for breath and he smirked up at me.

"So that kiss before was definitely a onetime thing then," Edward said cockily. I unravelled myself quickly from him and stormed out the room. If he hadn't opened his mouth things would have been fine.

He was such an ass.

Just when I started to find something nice in him he comes out with something like that.


	15. Chapter 15: Kissing The Enemy

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Fifteen: Kissing The Enemy**

_Bella's POV_

Monday mornings were never fun. I felt like I was always on the defence every time I got out of my car. Just like other mornings I was receiving weird glances, one of jealously from girls, being undressed mentally from guys, and I felt like I was on show.

My curiosity ended when Leah made a beeline for me. She would tell me what this was all about, hell if she didn't know what was going on then it couldn't be that important. I smiled softly when she approached, she looked slightly annoyed, I was guessing at me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked as she pulled me round the building to head in the back door, away from prying ears.

"Tell you what?" I questioned, completely lost with what was going on.

"About you and Edward." I still hadn't caught on. "You know...you guys sleeping together."

"What?!" I halted in my tracks, my eyes popping out of my eye sockets.

"If you're going to humiliate him Bella it helps if you don't screw him on the side. You've undone all the good work your posters about anabolic steroids did. Girls now find him irresistible because he's off the market again and apparently is a God in bed. We need to do damage control."

"Wait, Leah I have no idea what you are talking about. I've never slept with Edward, ever. And I never want to. Yuck, sharing body fluids with him. I'm going to hurl."

"Okay enough with the dramatics, you know you would sleep with him if he wasn't such an ass so stop going on. The entire year heard about you two going to see the support woman at the church. You had a chat about your physical relationship with Edward. He was there, contributing to the conversation as well. Is it all a lie?"

"Technically...no. Yeah we were there but it was all bullshit. We made all of it up just to freak out the old hags. The only reason I was there in the first place was because I got caught in Mrs Baker's office after school, I had been printing off Edward's student record. If she knew what I was doing I would have been suspended or worse expelled so I made up a load of crap. Who did you hear this from anyway? If it's Edward..." Leah shook her hand telling me to stop.

"It wasn't Edward. From what I've heard it was James and Laurent who let the story out. They overheard Mrs Evans and Mrs Baker discussing it."

"Well that's just bloody great isn't it?" she tried to soothe me for a second. "What's James saying?"

For the record, I absolutely despise James. He was a complete prick and should rot in hell. Just thought I would get that out of my system.

"He's claiming that you're a tease and a ten dollar whore. Which reminds me, stay out of his way today, he has a wad of tens at the ready." Bastard. "James is upping Edward's status though. He's making Edward seem like a God. Personally I think that's really weird since they never really got on but whatever. Maybe he's doing it to get back on Edward's good side for something."

"This day is going to be crap," I declared. Leah nodded and we headed off inside. With all this chaos I felt like my head was going to explode.

_Edward's POV_

When I walked into school I was being greeted and welcomed like a king. Who knew what the hell was going on? Girls were practically undressing in front of me and guys were patting me on the back and saying I was a genius. I thought they had the wrong guy.

No girl had looked my way since that poster came out and all the guys ripped me shitless for it. There had to be some mistake here. Turned out there wasn't. I overheard that asshole James explaining what happened yesterday with me and Bella at the church.

That was weird; I didn't remember him being there.

I turned to open my locker door and practically fell over out of fright. Bella had just appeared and was standing in front of it with her arms crossed across her chest. It was going to be one of those days again, I thought to myself as my eyes followed the v-neck of her top. She cleared her throat, reminding me that she was actually there.

"Hey, sorry, it's a nice colour," I said pointing to her top.

"Sure, you weren't just checking me out."

"Bella if I was checking you out you would know," I told her as I rooted around in my locker for the correct books.

"I never told anyone. I take it you didn't either. Everyone thinks we're sleeping together." Now I understood why everyone was looking at me weird.

"Well if they think we're sleeping together maybe we should sleep together and confirm the rumour," I suggested, receiving a swat on the arm and a beautiful scowl. She'd made my day already.

"Look its best if we just say we haven't slept together and leave it at that. Okay?"

"Bella I'm not going to confirm it but I'm not going to deny it either. So what if that's what people think, when did you care about what they thought of you?"

"I started caring when assholes like you made me look like a whore. So far this morning I've made sixty bucks from walking from my car to your locker. Guys are giving me ten dollars to be their whore."

"Why are you taking the money?" That seemed pretty stupid to me. She just sold herself out.

"Because I need the cash."

"Ha! That's crap. When is Bella Swan ever short of cash?" She scowled again and tried to explain.

"All I'm asking is that you deny it. There is nothing between us Edward and even if there was I still wouldn't sleep with you." I eyed her curiously, she was lying, I wasn't just being cocky, and I could tell that she wouldn't turn me down if that situation ever arose.

"I don't believe you." I said putting my hands on either side of her, trapping her against the lockers. She seemed startled by my actions but it didn't show for long. "I think you're tempted Bella," I whispered in her ear. I put one hand on her neck and her pulse was erratic, just the reaction I was wanting. "But if you're not tempted then why is your heart beating so fast?"

She didn't have an answer for me. I licked my lips slowly causing her gaze to fall to them. I couldn't have planned it any better. She bit her lip then licked them quickly. Without even realising she was challenging me. I did always love a good challenge.

I closed the gap and very lightly brushed my lips against hers then pulled back and walked away. Before I was a few feet out of distance she called after me.

"What was that for?"

"I missed your lips." Then I sauntered out the hall into my classroom.

_Bella's POV_

I made it through to lunch without much bother. Unfortunately I was still completely flustered by Edward's kiss. This was completely ridiculous, I was kissing the enemy! I was starting to like the enemy! Stupid Edward for being a good kisser.

When I arrived at the lunch table Emmett and Edward were complaining about getting a detention for 'accidentally' setting fire to one of the science lab coats. I wasn't in the mood to listen to them harp on so tried to eat my lunch in silence. Rose was too busy checking out the foreign exchange student to notice and Alice was secretly flirting with Jasper.

My quiet lunch didn't last long though. James decided to come over and act all bravado to impress his buddies. Edward ignored him most of the time but Jasper was dragged into speaking with him. I tried to stay out of the conversation and James noticed this so decided to push me headfirst into it. Changing tactics from casually slipping his insults in to just calling them out.

"Here's ten dollars, I'd like a blow job," he said sliding the money across the table to me.

"Thanks." I mumbled as I pocketed it. I wasn't going to pass up the free money. Who knows, maybe I'll buy a Rottweiler and set it loose on him. I'd like that.

"You know what everyone thinks of you Bella, a whore, a tease, a slut who likes it rough..."

"What did you say?" Edward cut in. He didn't look mad but he didn't look pleased. James tried to joke it off but Edward was adamant, this time Edward changed his tactic and smirked when he asked it, making James think he was impressing Edward.

"I said she's a whore who likes it rough. I bet you screwed her hard. Bella baby if you ever want to go around give me a call."

"You know what James?" Edward said standing up next to him.

"What?" James asked, completely oblivious to Edward's attitude change.

"I think you're a disrespectful fuck." And with that he hit him. I put my face in my hands and ignored the noise of James's nose breaking. It was an awful crunch and cracking noise I'd never forget. Blood gushed from his nose down his shirt as he staggered backwards cursing. "Never talk about her like that again," Edward warned then sat down and started eating his cookies like nothing had happened.

Before long Mr Moore was standing over our table. James had been taken to the nurse's office for a broken nose and a wounded ego.

"Mr Cullen I'd like to see you in my office. Now." With that Mr Moore walked away. I turned to Edward, he didn't have to stick up for me, I could handle assholes like James.

"You shouldn't have done that," I told him, he sighed then leant over the table and kissed me, hard on the lips.

"I shouldn't have done that either but what you going to do?" Edward stood up and left, leaving me speechless.

_Edward's POV_

After detention I headed along to the crush hall. I know that she may not have replied after one day but I needed to check. My mind was in overdrive.

I slipped the thesaurus off the shelf and ruffled through the pages until I found her letter. Unfolding it I read it as fast as possible. I should have waited until I'd gone home and read it in private, where no one is going to disturb me, but I needed to know how she was taking this. This letter could be telling me that she wants me to leave her alone, then all my planning we have been a complete waste.

_I'm not sure what I'm meant to say here so let's just go straight onto my responses to your questions:_

_What's the one thing you could never live without?_

_I don't think there is only one thing I could live without. There are many, too many. –Sorry I guess that wasn't much of an answer. _

_What is your relationship status between you and Edward Cullen?_

_Edward and I aren't even friends, well I don't think so. There is no competition there whatsoever. To be brutally honest I barely even think of him as an acquaintance. He drives me crazy, not the good crazy-if there even is one._

_Who is the one person who you can't stand?_

_Edward Cullen, he goes out of his way to frustrate me._

_What is your one regret?_

_I regret things but there isn't one that stands out at the moment. Also I don't think I'm ready to share that with you yet. For all I know, this could be a prank._

_Why did you hold off from answering my notes?_

_I'm still unsure of this. For all I know, after all twelve letters you could show them to people. You may be willing to put your feelings on the line but I'm not. Not yet anyway._

_Now time for my questions (By the way I don't see why you should get to ask me five when I can only ask you three):_

_When was the last time you had a detention and what was it for?_

_What would make you think Edward was your competition?_

_Is there a purpose to all of this?_

_You can probably tell I'm still weary of you. Maybe you can prove me otherwise and show me that this isn't some prank that you're going to have a good laugh at with your friends later. I've had enough humiliation for one year thanks. _

I folded the note back up and put the thesaurus back on the shelf. She replied, that was a start. From her letter it was pretty evident that she didn't trust me at all, nothing's changed there then. The only problem was I had no way of showing her that this wasn't some prank, that I actually cared about her without coming across as some stalker.

But hey, we were making progress, both publically and secretly.

I just hoped tomorrow wasn't as bad as today was.


	16. Chapter 16: Letter Two: Evasive

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Sixteen: Letter Two: Evasive**

_Bella's POV_

I pulled into school early, about half an hour before anyone else had arrived. There were only three other cars in the parking lot, one I was very familiar with. Edward was in the building, it seemed wherever I went he went too. He was always around, especially when I needed him to not be around.

Sighing at my chances of having a stress free morning I walked into the main building and headed straight along to the crush hall. I know the chances are very slim that my secret admirer would have replied but he could have done it last night.

Just like before I pulled the dictionary out from the shelf and opened it on the table before me. Searching through the pages I eventually saw the highlighted text.

_Evasive: Inclined or intended to evade_

Again his text was fitting. He was describing us and what was going on.

_Dear Bella, _

_Thank you for replying, you have no idea how much that meant to me. Even though you kinda dodged some of my questions I'm still not put off. I understand that you don't trust me yet, that's completely understandable. I'm just hoping that at the end of this you will have at least been able to see that some people will put everything on the line for a chance. _

_Anyway, I guess it's time to answer your questions. Oh and the reason you only get to ask three is because I know you're smart and if I give you too many clues you'll work it out. I would prefer that didn't happen so soon, at least let me write all the letters. By then you will have definitely had enough clues. But back to business:_

_When the last time you had a detention and what was it for?_

_That is two questions. But I'll answer them anyway just don't make a habit of that. I received a detention the day you put this letter in the thesaurus. I received it for pissing about but for a very good cause. That's all the details you're going to get on that. _

_What would make you think Edward was your competition?_

_You two seem to have this love hate relationship. He kisses you, you kiss him back. He annoys you but you still fall straight back into his arms. You clearly like him, even if you don't realise it everyone else does. You two have been friends forever and it is expected for something like this to happen. _

_I also heard that you two are now sleeping together and if that is true then my hopes are nonexistent. Hell it's Edward Cullen, how am I to compete with him? His reputation is legendary and I doubt you would look twice at me. _

_Is there a purpose to all this?_

_Yes. I want a chance. I wouldn't get it any other way. This is the only way to get one with you, believe me I've tried and nothing has worked. If this doesn't work then I'm giving up. _

_Now here are my five questions for you: _

_What's your favourite colour? _

_What is your favourite class?_

_Where would your ideal date be held?_

_Are you attending the Country Club's Christmas Party?_

_If yes, who is your date?_

_If no, why not?_

_That'll do for now. I hope to hear from you soon. _

_Your secret admirer._

After putting the dictionary back I headed up to the library to write a response. For some weird reason I was starting to look forward to these letters. I never thought I would even think that.

The library wasn't empty; Edward was crouched over a pile of textbooks studying hard. It was weird to see that they were Biology textbooks. As if he needed to study when he was just going to get the answers and cheat. I was suddenly annoyed and ended up storming past him. Of course this caught his attention.

"Whoa calm down there sweetheart." He turned in his chair and watched me walk to a vacant table against the wall. "So what has you so riled?"

"This is a library. Stop talking." He smirked and wandered over.

"The librarian isn't even here Bella. Plus no one's in school at this ghastly hour. So what are you up to?" Edward asked taking a seat next to me. He reached forward to see what I had with me but there was no way I was going to let him see the letter. "Ooh what's that?"

"Nothing." His smiled perked up and he saw this like some crap challenge.

"Now don't lie." His hands slip across the desk reaching for it. I quickly pulled it off the table and onto my lap. This didn't deter him though, he ran his hand over my leg as he tried to grasp for it. I had had enough of him practically groping me so slapped his arms away.

"It's got nothing to do with you so why don't you just leave me alone," I warned. His smile grew and I thought he was going to try and go for it again but instead he brushed a few strands of my hair out of my face.

"That's much better, don't you think? I can now see you clearly." The devious smile was gone and replaced with a soft caring one. Edward was just too confusing. One minute he was being a jerk and the next I was actually starting to think there is someone really sweet behind that mask he puts on.

"Thanks," I mumbled turning away from him and taking books out my bag to make it look like I came here to work.

"Welcome. I see you you're doing biology. Mind if I join you? Thanks." He never gave me time to answer and had started to bring some of his books over. I sighed loudly and tried to calm myself down. He didn't know he was preventing me from doing something important therefore I couldn't get mad at him.

Edward sat back down next to me and picked up from where he left off. I didn't know what to do. There was no way I could write a reply to that letter with him sitting there but I had done all my biology last night. The whole scenario was pointless.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked a few seconds later.

"Nothing," I told him, flipping pages like I was looking for something.

"It just seemed like something was bothering you."

"Something is. You." After I said it I felt guilty. He was just asking if I was okay and I jumped the gun and attacked him. He nodded his head.

"Sorry." With that he packed up his books and left the library before I had a chance to stop him.

I should have been glad he'd left since that meant I could do what I came here to do but deep down, deep deep down, I feel really guilty for that. Edward has his moments of being nice and sweet but majority of the time I can't tell the difference between his good moments and bad so just verbally attack him. This was obviously taking its toll on our friendship, if you can even call it that.

Deciding it was too late to go after Edward and apologise I pulled the letter out and read it over once more before starting my reply. At least there was one guy in my life right now who I couldn't piss off.

_Edward' POV_

I steered clear of Bella after the mornings run in. I didn't know how I did it but I just had a talent of pissing her off. After lunch I had a free period and decided I would go play tennis since there wasn't a P.E. class using the courts.

Walking passed the crush hall I saw Bella placing the thesaurus back on the shelf. My heart soared, she was answering me again. So not to cause a scene I continued along the way I was going, giving her time to leave, and then doubled back on myself.

The crush hall was empty when I entered which suited me perfectly. Following the usual routine I took the letter from the thesaurus then headed out to the tennis courts to read her response. There was a high chance I could see someone I knew and they'd ask what I had and I really don't want to explain that to them just yet.

_Hey again. Just to clarify, I'm not sleeping with Edward. I've only slept with one guy before and he is not one of them. Also I'm not a slut, therefore don't expect that by doing this you'll get laid afterwards if I like you. _

_I'll start now._

_What's your favourite colour?_

_Green_

_What is your favourite class?_

_Biology or English_

_Where would your ideal date be held?_

_Wouldn't matter as long as I was with the right guy._

_Are you attending the Country Club's Christmas Party?_

_Yes_

_If yes, who is your date?_

_I don't have one yet. No one has caught my eye._

_So now that I've answered your questions, it's your turn to answer mine._

_Would you think yourself as innocent- being good, well behaved, sexually, whatever-?_

_Do you play any musical instruments?_

_What's with the words you highlight in the dictionary?_

_There, that's me for now. I'll wait to hear from you soon. Thanks for not leaking any of this stuff so far._

_Bella._

She was coming around. Slowly.

I can understand that trust doesn't come easy with her but it was kind of hard to prove I was trustworthy since these are only letters. I'd have to work on that.

In the next letter I'd suggest a new idea for her. Recently I realised that writing was an old fashioned way of communication therefore I need a modern way to communicate with her. Email can be traced and Bella knows that Jasper would help her trace the email account so I needed a better way.

We all have cell phones and all I needed was another sim card to get this to work. She can't trace the number as I'll never use it for anything other than keeping in contact with her. Phone calls are not allowed since she will definitely recognise my voice but texting her should work fine.

That would all come soon. I needed her to agree to it first. I can understand if she's worried about giving out her cell number but technically I already have it. But this will also be an exercise of trust, to see if she's willing to give it to me.

Who knows, it might just work.


	17. Chapter 17: Letter Three: Lost

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**I Love To Hate You **

**Chapter Seventeen: Cupid Em**

_Edward's POV_

"You know what Edward let's play a game today," Emmett suggested as we sat outside school before first class.

"What kind of game?" I asked suspiciously.

"Word of the day." He grinned.

"Is that not some dirty pick up line?" I asked frowning at him.

"What, no? I've never heard that. Go on and tell me what it is?" He got all excited.

"Fine. The word of the day is legs so let's go back to my place and spread the word." Emmett's face lit up and he burst out laughing.

"That's genius. God I've got to use that." He leant back and crossed his arms over his chest proudly.

"What on Rose? Em she'll kill you," I pointed out.

"Oh yeah, but it'll be worth it anyway. So back to my game. The word of the day. Basically you pick a word and whenever someone says that word you have to kiss someone. Up for it?"

"Eh…sure." What could be the harm? "So what's the word going to be?"

"Stop. The word will be stop. And I don't just want you to kiss any old person; I know for a fact that Bella is in all of your classes today so you'll kiss her." And now it got better. I shot him a smirk and raised my eyebrows.

"Trying to play Cupid Emmett?" He just laughed and nodded.

"Oh yeah. Cupid, that's me."

"Will you be playing this game too?" I asked, watching as Bella laughed at something Alice had said.

"Yep."

"What's your word going to be?"

"The same as yours."

"And who are you going to kiss?"

"Rose, obviously. I would never cheat on her."

"Good good. She in all your classes?"

"Yeah hence why we're playing today. I'd let Jasper play but he's not in all of Alice's classes so there is no way he'd play."

"True."

"So we start in the first class."

"Alright. But it doesn't count when either of us say the word."

"Fine. Let's go buddy."

With that Emmett and I hopped off the wall and made our separate ways. I had English first with Bella and he had Chemistry with Rose and Jasper. So we departed and I made my way towards my classroom, only to see Bella enter before me.

I finally had a chance to take in her appearance and she looked beautiful. Alice must have forced her into that skirt and I was so glad she did. Bella may not have realised how lovely she was but everyone else did.

The ideal place for me to sit would have been next to Bella so I quickly manoeuvred my way across the room quickly and sat down just before some other guy did. Bella turned to me and glared before sighing and putting her back to me.

"Oh Bella don't be like that," I whined, knowing it would get a rise out of her.

"Look Edward, please can you just leave me alone for once. I just want to concentrate and with you I can't do that."

"I know, I'm too gorgeous to have you concentrate on anything else but me and my looks." I chuckled at her repulsed expression and placed my hand round her shoulders.

"Just be quiet, please." I smirked at her but nodded, thinking I could try and get on her good side. "Finally." She muttered under her breath.

I behaved relatively well for the first ten minutes of the lesson but then started clicking my pen incessantly out of boredom.

"Mr Cullen will you stop that irritating noise!" The teacher bellowed from the front.

'_Stop'_

Oh hell. I put my pen down and looked over at Bella who was jotting down notes. Taking a deep breath I swivelled in my chair said her name, getting her attention. She looked at me in confusion as I placed my hand under her chin and softly pulled her towards me.

My natural reaction was to kiss the hell out of her but I didn't want her to freak. So I just kissed her quickly and softly then pulled back and went to work on catching the notes I had just missed. She sat there for a moment in bewilderment then hit my arm.

The teacher shot us a glare then carried on. I didn't really care of what he was thinking though; I was trying to get composure over my body. My heart was thumping and I could hear the blood pumping in my ears, my palms were now sweaty and I felt like I was going to pass out, all because of a simple kiss.

God Bella has such a weird effect on me.

"Don't do that again, you hear me?" Bella whispered once we were set work from the book.

I nodded but kept to myself the fact that if anyone said stop I was going to have to do it again. In some ways Emmett was a genius.

"Are you doing anything during lunch?" I asked her after a while of steady working.

"No, why?"

"Well I know Jasper and Emmett has a sport thingy on so are busy and Rose isn't here, Alice is attending some council meeting thing so I wanted to see if you were around and maybe would have lunch with me?"

"Yeah, I can do that," she said, smiling at me and for once it felt genuine. "So why aren't you taking part in this sport thing Jasper and that are going to?"

"Not allowed, I'm still being investigated for steroids." I shook my head in annoyance. I friggin hated the person that did this to me.

"Oh yeah. How's that going?"

"Okay I guess, there's not much to say on it. They aren't telling me anything, just talking to my trainers and parents about it all."

"Your parents?"I nodded and sighed. It was all just one big mess. "Sorry," Bella added, catching me off guard. I shot her a bemused look while smirking.

"Why are you apologising? You never did this to me." She laughed somewhat nervously and bit her lip. She was acting weird and my only guess was she knew who did this to me but knowing that if I asked she wouldn't tell.

We worked in relative silence after that and I, surprisingly, wasn't told off again. After all that we headed to our lockers, dumped our books and then made our way outside.

During lunch, since all of our friends abandoned us, Bella and I sat on the grass overlooking the playing fields. She was sitting right next to me, her leg touching mine, and I felt blissfully happy with the closeness. She hates me yet she sits so close, I really don't understand her.

"So Edward, who's your next conquest?" Bella asked, taking a drink of water. I eyed her suspiciously then answered.

"Why do you ask, you going to run off and warn them?" She smirked but shook her head.

"No, I'm just curious."

"Well I hate to tell you I don't have a 'conquest' in line. I'm looking for a more serious relationship." She snorted loudly and giggled about on the grass. I didn't understand what she saw funny and just sat their confused.

Eventually she sobered up and stopped giggling.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me. Edward it's you we're talking about, you don't do serious relationships. "

"I would like to try. I have a girl in mind."

"She must be one special girl," she observed.

"She is. She's beautiful." Bella was looking at her lap so didn't see me say that while looking at her.

"Tell me one of your worst pick up lines?" She asked, changing the subject quickly.

"Worst as in I didn't get the reaction I wanted or as in worse due to how bad it is?"

"How bad it is."

"Alright, don't judge me though."

"I think we're past that Edward, I already hate you." She smirked so I could only guess she was kidding. Yay!

"Nice legs. When do they open?" I said using all my charm. Bella burst out laughing and leant against my shoulder giggling away.

"That's so…"

"Awful," I filled in for her.

"Yeah. Next one?"

"If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?" She took a second to work out what I just said then smirked and laughed.

"That's smart."

"I know."

"Got another?"

"Of course." I sighed, thinking of the next one. I licked my finger and touched her top then did the same to myself. Bella looked at me in disgust and confusion. "What do you say we get out of these wet clothes?"

"Very good, Edward. Do any of these work?"

"Well I get a variety of responses. Some slap me, like I expect, and others smirk, kiss me and then I'm having a roll about with them."

"I would slap you."

"Oh I know, why do you think I haven't asked you?" She smirked then leant her head on my shoulder. I don't even think she realised she was doing it, thankfully. If she had she would have stopped.

"Why did you kiss me earlier?" Bella asked lightly.

"Eh…you know what just forget that happened."

"I don't think I can."

"Why not?" I asked curiously.

"Edward come on, you don't usually kiss me like that."

"What do you mean?"

"It was different. I don't know why." She shrugged against me. "I should have told you to stop."

_Oh hell._

I turned her face to look up at me and lightly kissed her, slowly and softly moving my lips against hers. This time she did stop me.

"Edward…don't. You'll regret it," she murmured. I frowned at her in confusion and she just shook her head. I wanted to ask more but it seemed she wouldn't answer me.

"What are we Bella?" I asked.

"We're Edward and Bella."

"Edward and Bella the couple?"

"No, you know we're not like that. We can't be like that."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't like you," she said knocking against me while smirking.

"Seriously Bella?"

"It would never work."

"We won't know until we try."

"No Edward. I don't want to."

"I wasn't asking," I said, trying to brush off my hurt feelings.

We spent the rest of our time together in silence just eating, occasionally she'd share her food with me so I would do the same. Bella was still leaning against me and I would every so often rub her arm to keep her warm when she shivered in the cold. It was rather intimate but I knew that was not how she perceived it.

"Look I have to go." She suddenly said, gathering her things. "I'll see you later." With that she practically ran off, leaving me sitting there.

_Bella's POV_

Things were a bit weird with Edward so I wanted to steer clear of him. It was better just to be away from him. I couldn't keep jerking him and me around. Every time we kissed or whatever a tiny part of me started to like him, which was completely unnecessary considering I was beginning to like the guy sending me letters.

At the end of the day, once everyone had gone, I went and checked the dictionary for the next letter. I wasn't sure if he would have replied by now but I was hoping he had. It was rather nice getting them.

Right enough, when I checked, there was a new letter. Again the dictionary was highlighted along with the word's meaning.

_**Lost:**__Preoccupied; rapt: __He seems lost in his thoughts about her._

_Dear Bella,_

_Thank you for replying again. I am very happy with the progress of these letters but I have another way of contact to suggest. Now you may not like this and can say no but I feel I should ask. The letters are a great way to talk to one another although this gets no immediate response. _

_Here is my number to text if you want: 3392-732-8536. This is a completely random sim card that I bought for this occasion so there is no way for you to find out who's number it is. If you don't want to give me your number then you can ask and I will give you a sim card so you can keep everything private and separate. _

_Now my answers to your questions:_

_Would you think yourself as innocent- being good, well behaved, sexually, whatever-?_

_I would say I have an innocent side but it is rarely seen. I am sometimes good and well behaved but other times, not so much. Sexually, I have been to second base but not any further. I would like to keep my sexual experiences safe to make sure they are with someone I care about. _

_Do you play any musical instruments?_

_Yes, I do._

_What's with the words you highlight in the dictionary?_

_That's a question I cannot answer I'm afraid. At the end you will see why. My apologies. _

_Now, my questions:_

_Do you like strawberries and chocolate?_

_Do you have a 'type' of guy that you usually go for?_

_Who's your closest friend?_

_What's your family like?_

_What's your favourite book?_

_I hope to hear from you soon, whether it be in the next letter or via text._

_Your secret admirer_

I folded up the letter then slipped it into my bag before returning the book to the shelf and leaving. I wanted to write a reply then and there but could hear voices coming so left quickly, not wanting to get caught.

I would spend the night considering his texting option. It would be easier to have instant response but I wasn't sure. I'd have to put a lot of thought into it.


	18. Chapter 18: Crumbling

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Eighteen: Crumbling**

_Edward's POV_

Like most of my mornings now I headed straight to the crush hall to see if Bella had responded and was elated to see she had. This morning I wasn't going to take the chance of getting caught so headed back to my car. Once inside I opened it up and read her response, eager to see what she said.

_Hey, _

_Here are my responses to your questions:_

_Do you like strawberries and chocolate?_

_Yes I do_

_Do you have a 'type' of guy that you usually go for?_

_I don't know if I have a 'type'. I just like guys who can make me laugh and that are there for me as a friend as well as a boyfriend._

_Who's your closest friend?_

_Alice_

_What's your family like?_

_Well there is me, my parents that are divorced, my step-dad Phil, and my brother Charles. We get on most of the time but currently, due to all the rumours going around about Edward and myself, my parents aren't very happy with me and there are several conflicts._

_What's your favourite book?_

_I have several, most are Jane Austen books. _

_Now onto my questions, even though you kinda dodge some of them I'll still ask._

_Do you have any siblings?_

_Would you change yourself to 'fit in' or be accepted by someone?_

_What instruments do you play?_

_I'm done._

_By the way I might text you or I might not. I haven't decided yet. I know that there is no way for you to prove that I can trust you so this would be a step in that direction but I am perfectly happy with the letters just now._

_Bella_

I was happy to see that she signed off this time. Before she just finished the letter on her last sentence rather than leaving her name or saying anything. It was a sign of improvement. Granted we weren't making vast improvement but I knew with her that that wouldn't happen overnight.

She seemed to be pondering whether or not to start communication via text. That was a good sign at least. There must have been some trust there if she didn't shoot it down instantly. Just in case you changed her mind during the day I would have that sim card in my phone, ready for her possible text.

Of course if I was in any classes with Bella and my phone gets a text I'm going to have to play cool. She could be checking to see who's looking at their phone to find out who I am and I won't have that. It's evident in her questions aswell that she's trying to find ways to deduct who's sending her the letters.

I folded the letter up and slipped it into my bag. At some point during the day I would write a response and put it in the correct place in the dictionary. Everything was going to plan so far and from what I could tell she hadn't sussed out the obvious hints I giving her, though that would all become clear later.

The school was relatively silent as I made my way to my locker to get my books. Before I made it there though I was stopped by the Biology teacher who wanted to have a little chat with me, ahead of our Biology class.

He escorted me to his office and sat me down while he hunted out some things from the filing cabinet. I honestly had no idea why I was here but after what happened with the tennis coach and the principle this felt like déjà vu.

"Right Mr Cullen, I believe we have a few things we need to address. Do you know why you might be here?"

"No Mr Gibson, I do not," I answered politely, like my mother taught me.

"I was going to be spending my weekend marking the Biology tests which were to be handed back today. Though when I checked the school database for the answer sheet I found two copies with rather big differences. This was very strange as one was in fact riddled with wrong answers. I looked over it thoroughly and figured a member of staff had made a mistake, labelled it the wrong one or what have you. Then I got down to marking and guess what I found?"

"I don't know, sir."

"I found that your answers were very close to the wrong answers of the false answer sheet. Scanning them side by side it was clear you had access to the answers, which means you cheated. This could have been a one off for all I knew but I did a little investigating and noticed a similar pattern in all of the tests you've done so far this year." He smirked at me, proud of what he had found.

"You're out of my class Cullen. I have reported this to the principle and he will be getting to you some time during the day and no doubt your parents will be called in as well. Congratulations on getting caught."

Smug bastard.

"You can leave now." I stood up, grabbed my bag and headed for the door. "Oh Cullen, someone else must have known you were cheating and set this up to get you caught. Do you know who that was? They have breached security and will be in an exceedingly large amount of trouble."

"No sir, I do not. But when I find out I will surely let you know." After I've beaten the shit out of them.

"That's all." I shut the door, albeit a bit loudly, and stormed out to my car.

Students were starting to arrive and several had given me weird looks while I went past them but I didn't care. I was pissed off and furious with some cheap little git who was trying to harm me but not actually coming out and saying it was them.

They got me suspended from all sports and have ensured I miss out scouting season for tennis so I can kiss my scholarship goodbye, and now they have just had me dropped from Biology. When the principle gets this information he will be faced with two options, either suspend me or expel me.

My parents will be very disappointed in me and no doubt there will be consequences for my actions. I could just see the look my mother would give me and already knew it was going to be killer when it all came out.

Things were just going downhill and all because someone wanted to air my dirty laundry in public.

_Bella's POV_

Monday mornings were not joyous occasions but this one did call for a celebration, even if t had to be a very small and quiet one.

Leah had been waiting at my locker for me and filled me in on how Edward was kicked out of Biology for cheating. I was very surprised. I hadn't even gathered enough information to present to someone that he was definitely cheating and I didn't know how they could have found out.

She filled me in on all the details and due to one of my errors, not properly removing the second answer sheet, I accidently got Edward kicked out of class. It actually saved me a lot of time and now allowed me to move on to the next skeleton in his closet.

I felt chuffed with myself, until I saw Edward with his parents outside the principal's office. Mr Gibson was standing by looking proud with himself so my only guess was that he worked it out. Edward's mother Esme looked on at her son with sadness while his father, Carlisle, looked at Edward with anger and disappointment.

I shook away the small conscience that was forming in my mind and walked away from the scene. If Edward didn't want that to happen then he shouldn't have been cheating, I chanted to myself but couldn't help but feel slightly guilty.

When I concocted this plan I forgot that his parents would be told of his antics and their once perfect son image for Edward would be shattered, possibly damaging their relationship and putting strain into their lives.

I could have gone about that differently, had I actually been the one that was going to let it slip. With this I didn't directly get him caught, I just left a mess I thought I had cleared, which unfortunately Mr Gibson found.

My first class was a good enough distraction but when I went to second, Biology, and Edward wasn't present it all fell back on me like tonne of bricks. I felt confused and a bit torn. I knew that things wouldn't be all peachy whilst I did this but I never bargained on feeling guilty about it. That wasn't what I expected at all.

Several times throughout the day I tried to brush these thoughts off but by late afternoon I was close to just confessing to Edward and apologising, but that moment of weakness wouldn't last.

He looked so sad during lunch, sitting by himself over textbooks as he ate his lunch. I wanted to comfort him but didn't know how. If I did that would make me a class 'A' bitch for getting him caught then being there for him afterwards to pick up the pieces.

Yet why did I care? That was something I couldn't work out. It was Edward; Edward Cullen the pig who treated girls like crap and thought he was superior to everyone else. In reality I was doing everyone a favour by doing this, he needed to be taken down a notch and I had already allocated that as my mission.

My feelings would just have to be ignored. I had work to do on finding the next thing to cripple Edward's perfect life.

_Edward's POV_

Knowing that I had disappointed my parents hurt more than I thought it would.

They were called and we all went into the principal's office together. He explained the situation with the Anabolic Steroid posters and what Mr Gibson had just found in regards to me cheating. Mr Moore was going to have to take serious action.

They listened to my side of the story then sent me back to classes, reminding me not to go to Biology. Just the looks on my parent's faces said it all, I had screwed up big time and they were not impressed.

Of course everyone knew what had happened, it spread like wildfire. Jasper and Emmett were supportive but didn't ask questions or bother to stick around. I guess they didn't want to get in trouble due to association, which I could understand.

So my day was lonely. Very lonely.

In the afternoon I was taken out of class again and had to give a urine sample for a drug's test that my parents had sanctioned with the school then sent back. My parents headed home to wait on me arriving back so we could talk about my behaviour and what would happen.

Turned out Mr Moore went for suspension rather than expelling me, though I think that was due to my parents persuading him otherwise. I would be suspended for two weeks for hacking into the school records and files and also for cheating. If the urine sample came back positive for anabolic steroids then the suspension would be increased to one month then a decision would be made to expel me.

My once good day had crumbled around me and I had no idea how or why. Who was this person out to get me? What did I ever do to them? Was any of this justified or did they just think it would be fun to ruin my life?

Well I would never get those answers, or at least not right now. Eventually though I would find out who was doing this and give them a taste of their own medicine.


	19. Chapter 19: Letter Four: Latent

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Nineteen: Letter Four: Latent**

_Bella's POV_

On Tuesday morning I arrived early and checked the dictionary, hoping for another letter, and like I expected there was one. This would be the fourth out of the twelve in total he planned on sending. The 'L' section was highlighted again but this time the word was different.

_**Latent: **__Present but not visible_

_Dear Bella,_

_So far you haven't texted me but I still have hope that you will. My answers are below but you are trying too hard to work out who I am. Clues have already been given; all you need to do is read them._

_Do you have any siblings?_

_Yes I do._

_Would you change yourself to 'fit in' or be accepted by someone?_

_Not exactly. If you're implying that this is what I'm doing by sending you these letters you're wrong. I'm only allowing you to see me in a different light; it will all become clear at the end._

_What instruments do you play?_

_I can play the guitar, drums, piano, and bass guitar. _

_Thank you for being honest when answering my questions. Hopefully you'll be honest when answering these ones too._

_Why did you pick question rather than dinner or gift on the original note?_

_What gift would you have liked?_

_What's your favourite flower?_

_Do you think you know who I am?_

_Where was your most memorable vacation?_

_I feel that I've developed some understanding with you so figured I could tell you things that you could keep in your confidence. Bella, whether you realise it or not, you're sending mixed messages out there. I don't have a problem if you date Edward Cullen; I just need you to tell me if you are, that way I know I'm not wasting my time._

_Sincerely, _

_Your Secret Admirer._

Edward seemed to be screwing up my friendship sort of thing with this guy. With Edward always intruding into my life this guy is bound to reach the conclusion that we're dating when that is not the case. I was going to have to draw clear lines for Edward today or at least sometime soon.

Before I went to my locker I made a quick stop off at the bathroom. While I was washing my hands I heard sniffling in the cubicle at the end. Now usually I wouldn't get involved but I was curious as to see who and why they were upset.

"Eh…excuse me, are you okay in there?" I asked softly, knocking on the door lightly.

"I'm fine." The voice mumbled back. I heard her unlock the door and come out, face to face with me. "Not that you would care anyway," Lauren said venomously.

"I just asked in case you wanted someone to talk to, that's all. No need to jump down my throat." I grabbed my bag and headed out.

"Wait!" she called just as the door was about to shut behind me. I sighed but returned to the bathroom. "Sorry for being rude, I'm just…a bit annoyed and all over the place." She indicated to her face where her makeup had run to prove her point.

"S'alright." It wasn't really but since she was upset I'd give her the benefit of the doubt.

"You're right, I want to talk to someone but I don't think you would be the best choice."

"And why's that?"

"Because you're sleeping with the guy who has upset me," she said, glancing at her nails.

"Edward." Instead of answering Lauren just nodded. "I'm not sleeping with her, never have."

"Oh." She bit her lip then sighed and leant against the wall. "It's going round that you two are."

"Yeah well that's bullshit that I'm trying to contain." She nodded, allowing me to change the subject back to her. "So what has Edward done now that has you upset?"

"It's going to seem stupid, and if you tell anyone Bella I swear I'll rip your throat out." There still seemed to be the old bitchy Lauren in her.

"Oh please, like I care. Do your worst." I rolled my eyes but waited for her to tell me.

"I fell for him, can you believe it?" She laughed humourlessly. "I fell for Casanova thinking he'd like me back when in fact he was using me to make someone jealous."

"Did you sleep with him?"

"No, that's just a lie my 'friends' made up to make him look bad." She shrugged.

"Look he's a pig, and I don't know how I can make you feel better but just know, he's getting what's coming to him." Lauren squinted her eyes at me slightly, thinking over what I said before she started laughing.

"You are one mean bitch Bella Swan." That seemed to be more of a compliment than an insult. "The flyers about steroids, getting his suspended and kicked out of biology, that's all you. For once I'll applaud you." She mimicked clapping and smirked. "Pure genius. I want to help."

"What?!" I asked, completely caught off guard with that.

"I want to help you. I want to cause him punishment and pain. He hurt me; I'm going to hurt him. I want to help you destroy him."

"Lauren I don't know what you're talking about," I lied.

"Oh don't bullshit me Bella, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Let me help, I really want to."

"Hell, I know I'm going to regret this." She squealed in excitement. "Listen though, first, you don't tell anyone, second, you do exactly what I ask of you, third, keep your mouth shut, fourth, I'm not doing this for a laugh, I'm doing this to tear apart the guy who has torn about so many girls' hearts, it's not a joke."

"Completely understood." She nodded and I was seeing a new side to Lauren, one who could take orders rather than just dish them out.

"Fine. I'll talk to the other person involved and fill them in on your status. But if you screw this up for me I will do exactly the same as I'm doing to Edward to you. My source has enough of your dirty laundry to get you expelled and probably get your parents to send you to a convent so don't mess me about."

"Wouldn't dream about it. Though remember one thing too Bella, I'm only doing this to hurt Edward. This in no way means that once this is over I'll continue acting like your bitch."

"Fair enough." She nodded and sent me a fake smile before leaving the bathroom.

Hopefully having Lauren's involvement wouldn't hinder me in anyway. Though I doubted it. She looked determined to get revenge and through me she found a way.

Alice was sitting all perky in her seat when I entered the classroom. She waved me over then sat me down, smiling happily at me.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I'm in love," she practically sang. Oh hell, I rolled my eyes and smiled softly at her.

"What? Alice you can't be serious."

"Oh I am. I have never felt this way."

"How? What's brought this on?" I questioned, trying to understand how she got to that conclusion.

"He bought me boots!" With that she fired up her leg next to the side of the desk to show me said boots. I did have to admit they were very nice boots and Jasper did well picking them.

"They are lovely."

"Yep, they are. They're the best." Alice eyed them for a few seconds, smiling blissfully before turning back to me.

"So you fell in love with him because he bought you boots?"

"No. I love him because he's Jasper. Whether he knows it yet but he loves me too, or at least he will soon."

"You seem very confident about that?"

"I am." She finished just like that, as though that was all she needed to say.

"Okay then," I said, nodding, not really getting her this morning.

"So that's my love life. What's yours like?"

"I don't have one," I muttered, thinking about the secret letters being sent to me.

"What about Edward?"

"What about him?" She shot me a confused look.

"What do you mean what about him? He's Edward Cullen and he's crazy about you."

"Are you trying to play matchmaker?"

"No but I should." She smiled happily. "Come on Bella, give him a try."

"Nope, not going to happen."

"But he likes you," she whined.

"So?"

"Just think about how much fun you could have with him."

"I am, it would be dreadful. It's not going to be fun at all."

"Please Bella, trust me on this."

"Nope."

"Please!" she moaned. "Just go on one date with him, for me?"

"No. It's not going to happen," I said a bit too forcefully. She just looked at me, saddened then nodded, turning back to her work.

I couldn't have gone on a date with Edward. That would just have been foolish. If I was trying to hurt Edward then dating him would have been contradictory. I liked the guy in the letters, not Edward.

For some reason, ever since I started to bring down Edward I was feeling stressed, nervous, tense and edgy. My guess was that all of that was coming from destructing some one's life, hiding the guilt, pretending everything was fine, when in fact nothing was fine or right. It was all mixed up and complicated and I just needed a break, which I would have since Edward had been suspended.

_Edward's POV_

Last night was a train wreck when I got home. My parents sat me down in the dining room, both of them sitting opposite me and gave me the third degree on what was going on in my life. Masen was out so didn't hear what was going on but he had heard about my suspension and even he seemed disappointed in me.

"Edward, what's gotten into you recently?" my mother asked sadly. I couldn't answer, so didn't.

"Answer your mother Edward, she asked you a question," Carlisle said angrily, which was a surprise since he never got angry.

"I don't know."

"Well clearly you do. What's this we hear about steroids and cheating because that's not how we raised our son?" he asked, never taking his eyes off me.

"The steroids were a very short lived thing. I haven't taken them in the last two years, I promise."

"But how can we trust you?" Esme said, reaching out to take my hand. "You've lied and cheated, not only in sport but in classes too."

"Yes, Edward, explain that."

"I can't."

"Yes you can and you will." Slowly I was losing it. I began pinching the bridge of my nose to calm down and shut my eyes. "You will look at me when I'm talking to you and not be so disrespectful! So explain yourself." Clearly Carlisle was pissed at me.

"Fine do you want to know the truth, because you won't like it? I took the steroids as a way to get fit faster, I have no ambition of playing sport for a career and yes it was wrong to take steroids but there is nothing I can do about it now, I did it ages ago. Cheating, it was only in one class and only because you want me to live up to the perfect life you painted.

"I don't want to be a doctor like you, dad. I don't know what I want to do but growing up with you out the house at different hours all the time and rarely seeing you just proved that I don't want that for my kids. You weren't here to raise us as much as we would have liked and mum did most of it herself, I'm surprised you two are still married.

"Biology wasn't a strong subject of mine and I desperately wanted to fail it so I couldn't be forced to take it and become like you. But when that one report card said fail you two acted like I had pissed my name across the living room floor. I try not to disappoint you but that's what I end up doing in the process."

With that I stormed out of the room, leaving them in silence, before heading up the stairs to my bedroom to cool off.

Last night could have gone better but I lost my temper and let some home truths out that I wasn't planning on telling them. But obviously they slipped out and I can't take that back, like I can't take back cheating or doing steroids. So I'm living with my consequences, currently by being suspended.

My parents usually wake me up and say goodbye when they leave but they didn't do that this morning and even Masen didn't speak to me when he left for school. So I was in the house alone, thinking about the pitiful state I had gotten myself into and something was nagging at me, but I couldn't place what it could be.

There was something that I had either forgotten about or not done and it was bugging me but I couldn't for the life of me place what it was. With that not coming to me I decided to try and get on the good side of my parents and cleaned the house, even though the cleaners only came yesterday.

When it hit eight o'clock and my parents, who are usually home by six, hadn't come back I made dinner for myself and sat in the dining room alone. Masen had left a message on the house phone explaining he would be at Charles' house for the night. There wasn't a call from my parents and I didn't really expect one.

The grandfather clock in the hall struck eleven o'clock so I decided just to go to bed, pushing my worries away. Just as I pulled the covers over myself the forgotten problem came right to me. With me out of school there is no way for me to get Bella's letters and surely she would start to notice if she didn't get the response for the two weeks I also happened to be off.

I had to get her letters and write back, only problem was, when.


	20. Chapter 20: Doubt Yourself

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Twenty: Doubt Yourself, It Might Be The Right Thing**

_Bella's POV_

After yesterday's turbulent day I wanted nothing more than an easy ride for this one. I thought that this would be possible since no one had bothered me or made my day stressful at all through my morning classes and at lunch. But then the daily commotion kicked in.

"Bella!" Lauren called.

"What?" I asked, walking back to her locker on my way to my own

"I think this might be some help to you." She handed me CD.

"What's on it?" I looked at her confused.

"Something worth watching. Take it home, watch it then if you deem it damageable to his reputation, which I think it is, then play it on opening night." She had an evil glint in her eye.

"Fine, thanks." I slipped the CD in my bag and walked away. It felt weird with her being nice to me, or at least not being downright rude.

"Where you just speaking to Lauren?" Alice asked, coming up beside me.

"Eh…yeah."

"What did that whore want?" Rose said, joining in on the other side. It was like they tag teamed me in the hall.

"She was bitching me out about English."

"Oooh what happened in English?"Alice asked excitedly.

"Nothing, I apparently pushed her out the way and she didn't like it." The lies were just rolling off my tongue and for once they seemed believable.

"Oh," Alice whined, clearly disappointed there was no new gossip to latch onto. "Who's that by your locker?" she asked as we approached, noticing the unusual guy standing about.

He didn't look like a student, which was obvious from his work jacket that had the name of the local florist on the back, and the fact that he was at least fifty years old.

"Can I help you?" Alice asked, alerting him to our presence.

"Do you know where I can find Bella Swan?" I looked at what he was holding, a single flower.

"I'm Bella Swan." He looked relieved and smiled.

"This is for you." He held out the flower. "Along with this note." I took both of them from him and said thanks. He nodded then left, before I had a chance to ask him any questions.

"Bella what's going on?" Alice asked me, looking at me in confusion. "Is this from you're secret admirer guy? Aww that's so sweet," she gushed.

I opened the note up and had no idea what I was reading. There were only two words, _Eremurus Robustus_, which meant nothing to me.

"What does that mean?" Alice asked, peering over my shoulder.

"I have no idea." I muttered, inspecting the flower now. It kinda looked like a corsage with the big pink petals, the lack of stem, and the size of it all. It was very pretty though.

"Oh that's the Latin name," Rose said, leaning casually against the lockers. Alice and I both looked at her like she had just grown a second head. "What? Yes my knowledge isn't just limited to cars and sports, I also know about flowers too. Don't be so surprised."

"So why is this of any interest of me?"

"I don't know, I just know that the words on that note are the Latin names for the flower your holding," Rose answered, looking disinterested.

I shook my head and placed the flower into my locker to keep it safe, along with the note. My next class was a free so I made my way off to the library to write my reply to the guy sending me the letters and now possibly the flower in my locker.

Alice and Rose called after me but I brushed it off and told them I'd see them later. The library was relatively quiet so I found a clear table, which wasn't hard, and started the response.

_Hi,_

_I still don't know how to start these things. So just on to the questions and answers._

_Why did you pick question rather than dinner or gift on the original note?_

_I picked question rather than dinner or gift was because a) I don't accept gifts from people I don't know and b) dinner was too personal, for all I know you could be a stalker/pervert. _

_What gift would you have liked?_

_Like I stated, I don't accept gifts from people I don't know._

_What's your favourite flower?_

_My favourite flower would be the freesia._

_Do you think you know who I am?_

_I haven't got a clue, hence why I keep asking question trying to work out who you are._

_Where was your most memorable vacation?_

_My most memorable vacation would probably have been when I was younger when my parents were still together and Charles was very young. We just spent our time together as a family, enjoying ourselves. It was very nice._

_To clarify again, I am not going out with Edward. We've just been having a weird moment recently, it's of no consequence to you, do not worry. _

_Now my questions-_

_Did you send me the flower this morning?_

_Why did I need to know the Latin name for it?_

_Did you have to have it given to me in front of everyone?_

_I hope you're having a good week and you'll write back soon._

_Bella_

With that done I left the library, went straight to the crush hall and was relieved to see it was empty. I folded the letter, placed it into the thesaurus and left again, with no one the wiser.

Now all I had to do was wait for his reply, but at least I had the CD Lauren game me as entertainment in the meantime.

_Edward's POV_

Being out of school was going to put me behind in a lot of work so I emailed the teachers I needed so they would fill me in on the work I was missing or would miss by the time my suspension ran out.

Esme was home and currently occupying the living room. I felt that I should go down and perhaps speak to her but didn't know what to say. She still seemed disappointed, which I understand completely, but was hoping she wouldn't be too disappointed in me so that we could talk.

After deliberating about it on the landing for a couple of minutes I darted downstairs to speak to her. I said hi, getting one back, and took a seat, unsure what I was to say. Esme just looked at me briefly and smiled.

"What is it Edward?"

"I…I wanted to talk to you." She placed down her book and turned herself on the couch to hear me out.

"Talk away." She smiled.

"Eh…well…I was just thinking, you know, that-"

"Edward." I looked up when she cut me off. "Come here." Her arms were open and indicating for me to go to her. I stood up and sat down next to her, before her arms closed around me in a tight hug. I returned the hug and kissed her cheek.

"Thanks, I needed that."

"I know. So what's the matter?"

"I don't know what to do?"

"About what?" she asked, caringly.

"Lots of things. I just seem to be all over the place right now and I apologise for what I've done."

"Oh Edward, it's fine, well it's not but your father and I forgive you. Everyone makes mistakes, don't you agree?" I nodded. "You made yours now and hopefully have learnt from them. We just were upset that you didn't come to us sooner about the issues you were having and we would have talked them out."

"I didn't know what to say."

"We know, now."

"Is father still annoyed with me?"I asked, looking at her to see her motherly face smiling back.

"No, he just needs some time to process what you said, I think it upset him."

"Then I should apologise."

"No, you don't need to. I think he wants to apologise to you for putting that pressure on you but that doesn't mean what you did was acceptable."

"I know." I nodded to reinforce my point.

"So, with that out the way, how about I make us some food?" Esme said, standing up.

"That would be great."

After eating with Esme she headed out to attend some charity function or other, I wasn't really paying attention. My mind was thinking about how I could get Bella's reply letter so I could write back. What I was not expecting though was Emmett to pop up at my door, holding said letter that I had been worrying over.

"What? Where? How did you know where this was?" I asked, finally being able to speak coherent sentences.

"Oh come on Eddie, I'm smarter than that. Plus you guys are obvious."

"Really?" I asked panic stricken.

"Only if you know what to watch for and I do since I helped out with those trays." He smiled proudly at his input.

"Well thanks. But how did you know it was in the thesaurus?"

"I saw you going into the crush hall last week and I wanted to talk to you so followed. You looked around carefully, trying to make sure no one was around and since that made me suspicious I watched you slip a letter in the dictionary and just by chance I saw Bella collect said letter later on. Pure genius man!" He slapped my arm and handed over the letter I had been desperate for.

"Thanks Em…seriously, you don't know what this means to me," I said, on a more serious note.

"No problem, we're friends and that's what friends do. I'll stop by tomorrow morning for your letter, to put in the dictionary, okay?"

"Yeah. Cheers."

"Welcome." With that he darted down the path to his car and drove away, leaving me to read her response, which I did quickly, shutting myself away in my room to do so.

_Bella's POV_

When I got home I hunted out the disk Lauren gave me and inserted it into my computer, turning the volume down low. No one was in but me, which I was thankful for as I didn't know what I was going to be watching.

Before long it started playing and I was seeing the ICT room from school. After a couple of minutes and still nothing I figured Lauren gave me the wrong one but then in tumbled Edward and, I had to squint at the screen to see, Miss Latimer. She was the librarian's assistant and from what I could remember, nineteen years old, so it wasn't like he was making out with a thirty year old woman. Yuck.

The kisses increased in passion, groping, moaning, me vomiting- not really but it felt like I was going to, then Miss Latimer pulled back.

"What's wrong?"

"Eh…nothing," Edward answered, confusion across his face.

"But you're not hard." And with that Miss Latimer's hand ran over the front of Edward's jeans.

"I know…eh…mm…I don't know why. I just can't seem to." He shrugged.

The front door opened so I quickly shut the video clip down and loaded up a word document, to make it look like I was hard at work. Luckily it was just Charles coming and going so he never asked any questions, but I had plenty, for Lauren.

"Explain," I said with a firm tone while holding the CD up the following morning at school

"Did you watch to it?"

"Yes, but not all of it. Now explain how the hell you got this."Lauren giggled and leant against the wall, pride beaming from her.

"A friend of a friend gave it to me."

"No, I want the truth." She rolled her eyes but could tell I was being serious.

"Fine. I watched them walk in the office together then heard some interesting noises and grunts. There was a camera so I convinced the tech guy to give it to me."

"I don't even want to know how you convinced him," I muttered.

"Anyway, it's what you're looking for," She stated.

"Yeah it is Lauren but we'd also be bringing someone else down with this." I waved the disk to emphasise what I was saying.

"Oh please, that bitch deserves to fired after what she did."

"That's your opinion, I can't do that. I'm only trying to hurt Edward, not others in the process."

"Pfft who cares?"

"I care." I began. "If I don't care then this isn't about getting to Edward but just being plain destructive. We can't use this, my decision is final." Lauren sighed loudly and glared at me.

"I'm trying to help Swan."

"I know but this isn't helping, this is causing a huge mess I'm not getting involved in. Is this the only copy?"

"The only copy I had. You won't give it back to me by any chance, will you?"

"Not a hope in hell."

"Bitch," she mumbled, making her exit.

Frankly I didn't care what she thought, I was going to be taking the moral high ground on this one and not drag any other unsuspecting victims into this. Edward deserved to get what was coming to him but Miss Latimer certainly didn't deserve to be fired over this little destruction plan. And with that fact, I felt good about myself, knowing what would hurt others and not just Edward.

Unfortunately that good feeling was short lived. When I opened my locker a note fell out, on another Anabolic Steroid flyer.

_Are you sure he's the enemy in all this?_

That question stumped me completely.


	21. Chapter 21: Monster

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Twenty One: The Monster**

_Bella's POV_

_Are you sure he's the enemy in all this?_

_That question stumped me completely. _

I didn't know how to answer that question. Edward seemed like the bad guy in all of this to begin with but now I felt sorry for him. The bell rang and pulled me from my thoughts. I'd think about that later, now I had to go to class.

Instead of driving straight home I went to Edward's house. That CD was going to do no good for me having around the house so I figured I'd give it to Edward, that way he could decide what to do with it. I didn't think he'd want to keep it but at least this way I was giving him the choice.

"Bella, hi," Edward said, surprised by my visit.

"Hey."

"Come in, please." He shut the door behind me and we went into his living room. "What do I owe the pleasure?"

"I have this for you." He took the CD from my hand but seemed confused.

"And what is this?"

"Camera footage of you and Miss Latimer in the ICT room together." His face paled a little.

"Oh. Who gave it to you?" I decided to answer honestly, seeing as I had lied a lot recently.

"Lauren."

"I'm not surprised. After ditching her she would do anything to hurt me." He sighed, not really seeming fazed. "Did you watch it?"

"Not all of it, only the first couple of minutes." He nodded.

"Thanks."

"What for?"

"You didn't have to give this to me. You could have given it to the person trying to destroy me." I opened my mouth to protest. "Don't. I know that you know who they are. I could tell and I don't expect you to tell me. Just answer me this, is this the treatment I deserve?"

My vengeful side thought yes but before that I automatically thought no. With the note and now seeing him so sad what I was doing made no sense. It wasn't getting him anywhere or helping me at all. In fact it was making me worse than him.

"No, you don't deserve this at all." I don't know what came over me but I quickly hugged him, wrapping my arms round his neck.

"Eh...Bella, are you okay?" Edward asked, shocked by my reaction.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, leaning back slightly and placing my head on his chest. "I just, feel bad for you."

"You can't do anything about it." How wrong he was. "So, do you want to hang out for a while?"

"I can't. I'm sorry; I just need to go home. My parents need me home, but thanks." I couldn't stand the guilt and had to get out of there.

"You're welcome; I'll see you around no doubt. Maybe at open evening tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Bye Edward." I kissed his cheek then left.

The second I got in my truck the tears were spilling down my cheeks. I felt horrible, cruel and awful for what I had done and was doing to Edward. Granted he had his issues but so do I and mine seem worse than his.

Within ten minutes of driving I had to pull over so I could just let my emotions out and wasn't a danger to the other road users. I must have been there for twenty minutes before I felt that I was done, for now, and could drive home.

Charlie was out when I got home so I didn't have to handle his questions or inquiries about what was wrong. Therefore I headed straight up to my bedroom and collapsed on the bed, wanting to take back all the foul things I had done.

"Hey Bella…whoa what's wrong?" Charles asked, coming into the room and sitting down on the bed.

"Don't worry about it Charles," I said, wiping my eyes.

"No I will worry, you're my sister."

"I've just…just realised that I've been horrible and am disappointed in myself."

"Alright, vague on the details there." He rolled his eyes but was trying to make me smile or at least cheer up. "Look I don't know what you've been up to but just try and right your wrongs. You've done bad, you should now do good. That's how I make up for all my sins."

"Thanks," I said, happy that he cared enough to stay and talk to me, even if he didn't do well with the talkative stuff, like Charlie.

"Welcome. Now come on and give me a hug." He sang, making me smile. Charles engulfed me in his arms and hugged me tightly. "Feel better?"

"Yeah, even with the broken rib," I joked. He rolled his eyes but then flexed his muscles.

"I knew I was strong."

"You're not strong." A new voice said from my doorway. Charles and I both looked round to see Masen standing there watching us. "Hey Bells, aww what's wrong? Missed me?" he joked, coming to sit on the other side of me on the bed.

"Yeah that's exactly what's wrong." He kissed my cheek and lay across the bed, causing Charles to do the same.

"I knew it, all the girls love me."

"Shut it." Charles called.

"You're brother's just jealous of our love," Masen whispered.

"Masen you do remember she is my sister, right?"

"Of course I do, how could I forget? It's the only reason I haven't asked her out." That earned him a slap, that went over my back so I did receive a bit of it even though Charles didn't mean it.

"So my love, what's got you sad?" Masen asked, holding my hand.

"I haven't been very nice."

"That's okay; I love a naughty Bella now and then." Charles shot him a glare which Masen ignored. "No seriously, you can be bad once in a while; you're still our lovely Bella deep down."

"Thanks." I kissed his cheek, causing him to blush which was something new.

"Don't say a word about that," He whispered when he and Charles got up from the bed. "Now we're going out, hope we cheered you up."

"You did thanks."

"Good. See ya." They shut the door behind them and I was left alone with my thoughts again.

I needed to reprioritise and was going to spend my night doing that.

Open evening, my worst nightmare.

I hated open evening just because we had to come to school, act like it's the best and try and get new students to join our school. The teachers all acted polite and friendly when during lessons they were assholes.

But I was there anyway, going round with my parents, about to enter the main hall for the big presentation. It was going to show our key skills as a school and basically tell our parents that their money was being spent on something good.

Everyone had ushered in and I was allowed to slip away from Charlie, Renee and Phil to go and sit with Alice, Rose, Jasper and Emmett. They had obviously ditched their parents too by this point. Within a couple of minutes Edward came in, he caught my eye and smiled, walking over.

"Can I sit here?" he asked, indicating to the seat next to me.

"Of course."

"Thanks." He sat down and smiled again at me, this time more softly.

"Why did you ask? You could have just sat down."

"Not a lot of students want to be seen with me," he said, looking at his lap.

"Well I do." With that I entwined my arm in his, getting him to smile.

"Alright, if everyone could please take your seats," Mr Moore called from the front. With that the lights went out and the overhead projector kicked into gear, showing us all something we never expected to see.

Up came the image of the ICT room, and my stomach dropped, and then in came Edward and Miss Latimer, kissing each other wildly. I heard Edward's breathing hike from next to me and immediately placed my hand on his knee and gave him a squeeze, trying to message that things would be okay.

"I promise I didn't do this. I never knew there was another copy," I whispered frantically.

"I believe you," he mumbled, watching as Miss Latimer's voice came over the speakers.

"Oh my god you can't get it up." She started laughing. "Wait until I tell my friends."

"It's not that big a deal actually. A lot of men can't get it up," Edward, on screen, protested.

"Yeah but they're like sixty." Then she cackled at him. The embarrassment crossing Edward's face was evident on the screen. "I was told you were a sure thing but now, after this." More laughing. "I guess I was wrong."

Edward stepped back, angry and clearly upset.

"God Edward, since you couldn't get it up I just lost myself some money."

"This was a bet?"

"Sure thing honey. You don't think I'd actually go for you, would you?"

"Eh…"

"Aww you did." Laughing. "Sorry about that." Then she left.

The Edward on screen ran a hand through his hair, sighed then left composed. Once the video finished everyone, parents and staff included, were silent, taking in what they just saw.

"I can't be here," Edward said, standing up and storming out of the room. I immediately got up after him and left, with everyone watching us. The staff were frantically moving about at the front, loud whispers making their way over the crowd.

"I'm sorry; we'll be taking a break for now," Mr Moore said, before stomping his way over to Miss Latimer.

I, on the other hand, didn't stick around to watch that. My priority right now was Edward. I followed him through the hallways, calling after him, and eventually catching up to him when he fell to his knees in the middle of the crush hall.

"I can't do this Bella," he mumbled pain and hurt across his face. I got down on the floor with him and wrapped my arms round him, pulling him into me. "I know I'm not a saint but I don't deserve this, whatever I did surely couldn't have been this bad. I never destroyed someone's life," he said, trying to cover the fact that tears were forming in his eyes and he was close to crying.

"Shhh. I know. This will all be sorted, I promise."

"Thanks." He held onto me tighter and didn't want to let go. As we were kneeling it was getting rather sore so I suggested we went and lay across the comfy chairs.

I helped Edward up and walked him over, his hand in mine, then sat down and told him to lie across the chairs, putting his head on my lap. He did as he was told and allowed me to stroke his hair, trying to calm him down, while he pressed his face into my stomach, blocking out the world.

My heart ached for him and that's when I realised what a monster I had been. On the outside he acted pissed off and angry but on the inside all my vindictive actions were breaking him apart. I thought he was the monster when in fact I am.

I leant forward and kissed his cheek, telling him to relax, it would all get sorted. Edward didn't say a word to me, just occasionally caressed my hand with his and kissed my knuckles. It was an intimate gesture, one I gathered brought on by his pain.

"Oh Edward, here he is," Esme said, rushing in. "Is he alright Bella?"

"No but will be, eventually." I kissed him again and got him to sit up, allowing his mother to take in his appearance.

"Sweetie, come here." Just like a little boy would, he walked into his mother's arms and accepted her hug. "Let's go home; we're to come back in the morning to discuss that video." He nodded then took a minute and walked back over to me.

It was a soft, light, quick kiss but still made my heart tingle and my body flood full of guilt.

"Thanks," he whispered before leaving.

I was going to have to make all this up to him, and tell him the truth, that I was the one hurting him all this time. Except for the video footage getting out, that was all Lauren. What a bitch but then, who am I to talk after what I'd done to him.


	22. Chapter 22: Letter Five: Unseen

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Twenty Two: Letter Five: Unseen**

_Bella's POV_

After the massacre that was open evening I was generally surprised to see things functioning so normally. I would have thought that the staff and school board would be going into meltdown. Alas it was not. Nope classes were in session and it was like last night never happened. Well, nearly.

Miss Latimer wasn't working as the library's assistant and had been suspended until they had spoken to Edward and his family. Since she wasn't actually a teacher the repercussions wouldn't be as big but no doubt she would be fired and definitely not receive a recommendation from here.

I was hoping that I would get a chance to see Edward some point today and talk to him. I wasn't sure how to approach the subject that I was the one ruining his life and didn't know if now would be the ideal time. He clearly had a lot on his plate and I wouldn't want to add to that. So for now I was going to be his friend, like I should have been all this time. If he needed someone to talk to then he had me.

But before I found Edward there was one more person I had to go see. Lauren.

"What the hell was last night all about?" I practically yelled at her in the hall way, startling several students.

"Oh I did him a favour," she called back.

"How? How was humiliating him in front of the school, staff and parents doing him a favour?"

"Because that bitch needed to be fired. Did you not watch what she did to him? She made a bet that she could sleep with him and so what he had problems, loads of guys do. That did not mean she had to laugh at him, tell her friends about it, and hurt him like she did. He didn't deserve that so I was getting her back by firing her ass."

"Oh well congrats on that, you've probably got her fired but did you have to do it in front of everyone. You could have just sent that CD to Mr Moore and he would have addressed the situation. Edward is going through enough and doesn't need any more shit thrown at him." Lauren glared and walked forward, to whisper in my ear.

"Why do you care? You're the one trying to destroy him." She raised her eyebrows at me, asking me to challenge her.

"Yes I was, but not anymore, not after seeing the consequences of my actions." She laughed humourlessly at me.

"Yeah cause that makes everything better, stopping now after the damage has been done. Bella you make me sick sometimes, you know that. You act all high and mighty, trying to bring down others who do the same, then feel guilty and act like their best friend. You're a two faced bitch."

"That's your opinion and frankly I don't care what you think. You screwed up last night, Lauren. Maybe you should think about how things would have turned out after everyone saw that, what would have happened to Edward. I'm sure if I was to ask him he wouldn't think you did him a favour. I'm pretty sure he would be pissed you showed that to everyone. Not only is he in trouble from the crap I threw at him, but now he has to deal with this. You're an idiot if you think this would help."

With that I stormed away, cautious that if I stayed around any longer I would hit her or something along those lines, which wouldn't have helped right now.

As I walked back across the courtyard, heading to my form classroom, I spotted Edward and his parents getting out their car. At that point class wasn't important at all, I just wanted to see him. So I made my way as fast as I could outside and caught him just as his parents went into the reception.

"Hey," I said, out of breath and no doubt panting like a dog.

"Hi." He shoved his hands in his pockets awkwardly and looked at me.

"How are you?" The wind was whipping my hair round my face so I had to keep pushing it back.

"Fine." I nodded.

"Good. Okay, see ya." He clearly wasn't going to talk much so I started to walk away.

"Bella, wait!" I turned to see him jog over to me. Before I clocked what he was doing I was engulfed in his arms, inhaling his scent and being intoxicated by it. "Thanks for last night. I'll speak to you soon, maybe give you a call?" I nodded and he smiled then kissed my forehead and headed back to his parents.

When I finally got around to going to class I ended up gaining myself a detention for being late and talking back. That was not what I needed today but luckily all things weren't bad. When I was going off to lunch the crush hall was very quiet, allowing me to sneak a look in the dictionary and low and behold there was a letter.

_**Unseen:**__ Not seen; unperceived; unobserved; invisible._

_Dear Bella, _

_Everything is okay with me, thank you. How are things with you?_

_My responses to your questions:_

_Did you send me the flower this morning?_

_Yes I did, did you like it?_

_Why did I need to know the Latin name for it?_

_I thought it would help. _

_Did you have to have it given to me in front of everyone?_

_It sounds like you're embarrassed that it was given to you in front of others. If you are embarrassed by this then maybe I should stop._

_To be perfectly honest I thought you would care for something other than these letters and flowers just seemed to be ideal. I figured most girls liked flowers, in one form or another. Hopefully you'll like the next one too. _

_Now my questions:_

_Ever been cheated on by a boyfriend?_

_Ever been skinny dipping? _

_Do you like to sing?_

_What movies could you watch over and over again?_

_Have you got a dress yet for the Country Club's Christmas Party?_

_I know the skinny dipping one is a bit weird but I heard a rumour that you have but wanted confirmation before I jumped to conclusions._

_Sincerely,_

_Your Secret Admirer. _

I folded the note and slipped it into my pocket before heading off to lunch, just wishing I could reply then. It would be easier to text him but not yet, I trusted him but liked the sweetness of the letters he wrote.

Just like he stated in the letter, I did like the next flower sent to me. This one was called a Daylily, that's all it said in the note. I gather that wasn't its Latin name but didn't mind, the name of the flower had no importance to me.

I placed the flower in my locker for safe keeping, like I did with the other one, and planned on taking it home at the end of the day, after my detention. If Edward called me right after school and I was in detention then I wouldn't be able to answer it. I'm worried that may make him think that I don't want to talk to him, which isn't the case, so knew during that one extra hour here after school I was going to be watching my phone anxiously.

It was now going to be a waiting game until he called and for once, I hated waiting.

_Edward's POV_

My parents were ushered straight into Mr Moore's office while I was told to sit outside. I gather that they were getting a chance to ask questions and talk about reasonable action they wanted to take. No doubt Mr Moore was enforcing the fact that Miss Latimer was in fact not a teacher but a librarian's assistant and that made all the difference.

Personally I didn't care; I wasn't bothered by what happened with Miss Latimer. That big debacle was just another thing I could add to the list titled 'Edward Cullen's Fuck Ups' which seemed to be growing longer every day.

On another note, I gave Emmett my letter to Bella and told him exactly what he was meant to do in the dictionary. If he messed that bit up then things would be a bit difficult when the last letter was delivered and she had to work out who I was. Hopefully he did it right, though I knew I wouldn't get the chance to check anytime soon.

"Edward, can you please come in?" Mr Moore asked, opening his office door for me and pulling me from my thoughts. I got up from the uncomfortable reception chairs and entered, taking a seat next to my parents. Automatically my mother clasped my hand in hers and gave me a soft reassuring smile.

"Alright then, Edward. Since last night's little show the school board has reviewed the video and come to several conclusions. Miss Latimer has been fired for her actions but is not going to be in any legal trouble as she is not a teacher. When it came to what should happen to you the board was split and I ended up with the casting vote." He stopped for that to sink in, like some anti-climax moment that was not necessary.

"You will finish the remainder of your suspension then return to school. This is being seen as Miss Latimer's fault, rather than yours. In this situation you are the victim therefore we offer our deepest apologies. After speaking with your parents they are willing to allow you to leave this school and attend another, we understand if you do, but the choice is yours."

Could I really leave here? My friends were here, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Rose and Bella. With her our relationship finally seemed to be going somewhere. If I left then I could kill it all and I would hate that considering how much I like her. No, I couldn't go and start at another school, even if someone was trying to bring about my demise, I couldn't leave them behind.

"I'll finish my suspension then you'll see me in classes the following day." My mother gave my hand a tight squeeze as Mr Moore relaxed back in his chair.

"Okay then." He smiled at me then stood up, shaking my parents hands as we began to leave.

My parents must have gone into more detail while I was waiting outside. There would be no way they would sit ideally by as I made decisions that they hadn't already considered. Whatever, I was just relieved they weren't making me move schools.

We left immediately and headed home. I knew it would be foolish to call Bella anytime soon since she would be in classes until later. So when I got home I excused myself and went to my bedroom to work and try and keep myself up-to-date with what my classes would be learning. I didn't want to return and then fail the class due to my absence.

The long lists of text were making me tired so after several hours of hardcore working I collapsed onto my bed for some much needed rest. I didn't expect to sleep for so long but woke up and read the glaring red lights of my alarm clock telling me it was half six.

I grabbed my cell phone and called Bella immediately, hoping that she would still want to talk to me and not mistake my lack of calling earlier as a sign that I didn't want to talk to her.

"Hey Edward," she answered, after five rings.

"Hi, sorry would have called earlier but fell asleep."

"It's no problem, to be honest I got in an hour ago so just finished dinner. You called at the perfect time for me. So how are things with you?" Her voice was soft and she genuinely sounded like she cared which just made my heart soar.

I explained what happened in the principal's office and what was going to happen to Miss Latimer then filled her in on some of the details about I was feeling now. She told me she was worried about me after last night, a night I would rather forget, and apologised for what, I don't know.

"I was wondering if I could maybe come round and see you tomorrow." She would make my day if she did.

"Yeah, you can if you want." I didn't want to sound too keen.

"Alright, see you around five thirty then?"

"Absolutely." I was sure I was smiling like an idiot but thankfully she couldn't see.

"Great, speak to you then, bye Edward." We hung up and I felt blissfully happy.

Tomorrow was going to kick ass. Just getting a chance to see Bella would be good but the fact that she willingly was coming round to see me made me giddy. God I was a goner when it came to this girl. If my letters didn't work then I don't know what I'd do since I need her in my life.

I couldn't wait until tomorrow; no doubt I'd start counting down the hours.


	23. Chapter 23: Coward

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Twenty Three: Coward**

_Bella's POV_

My main plan today was to tell Edward what I had done to him and hope that he could forgive me for being such a heartless bitch. We have never really been on friendly terms but I was hoping that could change. Whether I like it or not he can be decent and by being cruel to him I'm worse than what he was.

Now I know it wasn't going to be easy to tell Edward but I was keeping an open mind that when I saw him at five thirty word vomit would help me out and I'd be able to tell him everything necessary. Though that was just hopefully thinking.

I didn't want to hurt Edward but unfortunately I already had and that was the biggest problem. If I hadn't been around when he broke down on open evening I probably would have continued on my path of self-destruction and destruction of his life. That night changed everything for me but I doubt he'll see it that way.

From his side of things I come off two faced for causing the entire problem but then being there to comfort him in his time of need. But I am two faced and there's nothing I can do about that. I know what I've done wrong and I want to change my ways but first I have to admit my wrongs and that is no easy task.

I slipped that problem out of my mind while I made my way early into school and nipped to the crush hall. It was empty like usual and allowed me to drop off my letter in the thesaurus. Once that was dealt with I headed off to find Leah.

"Hey," I said, knocking on the school paper's office door and opening it.

"Hi Bella, come on in," Leah said, typing frantically over a computer.

"Look I kinda need to talk to you," I said, eyeing Claire and Emily, not wanting them to hear what I had to say.

"Yeah, no problem." She stood up and we headed out into the hall way. "What is it?"

"I'm calling this off. I can't do it to him anymore," I said, crossing my arms. She gave me a calculated look then smiled and completely caught me off guard by hugging me.

"About time,"sShe muttered.

"Wait? What?" Leah laughed at my confused state and shook her head.

"I was wondering when that conscience of yours was going to kick in. Bella you're not a heartless bitch and unfortunately if someone wants to bring down Edward Cullen they need to be. Only after you had started planning his downfall it became obvious you could never finish the task. I didn't say anything as you seemed set on it but I knew eventually you would realise what you had done and stop it all."

"Oh." I never realised I was that predictable.

"It's a good thing. You're decent and have a heart. So, you and Edward?" Somehow that was a question.

"What about us?"

"Does this mean you'll finally go out with him?"

"What?! No," I said, slightly confused with where that idea came from.

"Aww Bella why not?"

"Because it's Edward, and I like someone else." She smirked and rolled her eyes.

"Your secret admirer." I blushed but nodded. Leah laughed then shook her head.

"What's wrong with liking him?" I asked, defending the guy who I didn't actually know.

"Nothing. You know in fact, I encourage you to like him."

"You know who he is," I accused.

"Yeah I do. But there is no way I'm telling you. I'll see you around." And with that she walked away, back to join Claire and Emily.

I stood there momentarily until I heard another voice approach.

"Isabella Marie Swan you get your ass over here and explain yourself." The small but alarming voice of Alice called to me. I spun around and saw her several meters away.

"Hey Alice, what's up?" I tried to act nonchalant but clearly it failed.

"Why don't you tell me since you are the one who has been gunning for Edward?" She raised her eyebrows at me, practically begging for me to challenge her.

"In here," I said, pulling her into the closest bathroom. We both thoroughly checked that the stalls were empty before I began. "How much did you over hear?"

"Enough. Why in the world would you do that to Edward?" Alice asked exasperated and somewhat hurt by my actions to one of her closest friends.

"Because I thought he deserved it. He doesn't but at the time I started I thought he did. He was an asshole to loads of girls and needed to be taken down a few notches and unfortunately I thought I was the one who could do it. But I can't, I started to and then seeing him so hurt and upset just killed me. I couldn't do it, I care about him and I hate that I care about him because he's Edward," I said in a rush.

"Bella-" Alice sighed and then hugged me. "How could you?"

"I don't know." The tears were close to spilling but I wasn't going to let that happen. This was not a time for crying, I was not the victim in this situation, Edward was.

"Have you stopped?"

"Yes but I want you to know I didn't broadcast that video of him and Miss Latimer, that was Lauren." There was no way I was going to take the blame for that.

"Lauren? What does she have to do with all this?" Alice asked, frowning at me.

"She kinda got involved which was a big mistake. Lauren was the one who brought me that clip but I wouldn't use it, she then got a hold of a copy and well…you know the rest. I wouldn't have done that to him. After the cheating thing he looked so sad and I hated that I was responsible for that sadness, it felt like I was going to kick a wounded puppy if I did anything else to him. I had to stop and I did, that night, but Lauren wanted one more bit of revenge."

"She always was a bitch," Alice said, trying to get me to smile.

"Yeah, she was."

"So no more hurting Edward Cullen?"

"No more. I just want to apologise to him and I hope that he forgives me."

"You're going to tell him? Wow Bella, brave move," she said, shaking her head.

"I know but I want to be honest about it. He deserves to know how much I hurt him."

"Well if that's what you think-"

"I do." I said, cutting her off.

"Alright then. Good luck with that." She hugged me and we began to leave.

Telling that to Alice wasn't that bad and now all I hoped is it was that easy when I had to go and tell Edward.

_Edward's POV_

Emmett stopped by during his free period to give me Bella's response to my letter. I was practically giddy when I opened it. With my parents both down stairs I securely locked myself away in my room so I wouldn't be disturbed and opened the letter.

_Hey, _

_Things are alright with me, though I'm going through a little issue. I've done some horrible things and I'm scared how the person will react when I tell them. It's eating away at me but hopefully I'll soon have it resolved._

_Ever been cheated on by a boyfriend?_

_Probably but not that I know of._

_Ever been skinny dipping? _

_No._

_Do you like to sing?_

_I don't like to sing in front of others but when I'm by myself yes._

_What movies could you watch over and over again?_

_Romeo And Juliet, along with other movies like that._

_Have you got a dress yet for the Country Club's Christmas Party?_

_No but I probably will get one sometime soon as Alice is pushing for me to get one._

_Just so you know I'm not embarrassed by you at all. The reason I asked about the flower being given to me in front of everyone was because people would automatically start shoving their nose in my business and I really didn't want that. Thank you for the flowers, they were both lovely._

_Have you ever taken part in a school performance?_

_Where would you take a girl on a first date?_

_What do you see happening at the end of these letters?_

_I want to let you in on a secret of mine; I'm beginning to like you and trust you. I know that is foolish and silly since the only thing I actually know about you is that you can write but that's just how things are. _

_Sincerely,_

_Bella_

She likes me!

I must have been smiling like an idiot when I read that. Within one minute Bella had made my day by telling me that and she never even realised she did. Later when she came over I was going to have to restrain myself from kissing the hell out of her, just because she likes me!

Ah, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops, along with various other big romantic gestures that told the world Bella liked me. We had just moved one step closer to being a couple and that was superb.

To begin with the letters seemed like they were going to be a colossal failure with her lack of trust in me and thinking of this as some elaborate joke. But now, my fears have vanished all because, she likes me!

I shook my head of my thoughts and tried to bring myself back to some normality. It would do me no good walking downstairs, grinning like a fool. My parents would automatically want to know the good news and though I would love to tell them it would be best if I kept this all to myself right now.

If it failed on me, once Bella found out who I really was, then I wouldn't want them knowing I hadn't got the girl I had spent months chasing and loads of my money on with flowers and t-shirts and the badges etc.

At five thirty exactly the door bell rang and I practically sprinted to answer it. Bella stood there looking breathtaking in a loose grey skirt and a blue top. I gather Alice must have given her these clothes as I know Bella doesn't like to show off her magnificent legs.

"Hey. Come on in."

"Thanks." She smiled and followed me to the living room.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No I'm okay thanks." I nodded and took a seat on the couch where she sat down next to me. "So how are you doing?"

"Eh…okay I guess." Much better that she was here. "Still a bit angry over what happened." Just thinking about that bastard who was out to get me made my blood boil. "I just wish I could tell them I'm sorry and that no matter how much of a prick I was I wasn't as bad as them."

Bella nodded slowly and kept looking into her lap where her hands were fidgeting. I must have made her uncomfortable with my anger and tone of voice. No doubt she thinks I'm some freak who needed anger management. Just great, not what I was going for.

"Look I know this is a bit out of the blue but I was wondering if you would like to go with me to the Country Club's Christmas Party?"I said in a hurry.

"As your date?" Bella asked, finally lifting her head, looking a bit shocked.

"Yeah," I answered slowly; worried that she was repulsed by the thought of it.

"I'd love to." She smiled at me and I was putty in her hands. My heart was soaring high above me and I honestly felt genuine happiness.

"Great. Thanks." She laughed and pulled me into a hug.

"Why are you thanking me?"

"Eh…because I didn't think you'd actually want to be my date," I said nervously, feeling a little embarrassed.

"What? Why? Edward I'd expect you to be the one who didn't want to be my date." I frowned at her.

"How could I think that?" She opened her mouth to speak but then just smiled at me.

"I guess cause we're not that good friends."

"I don't want to just be friends." I said, placing my hand against her cheek, leaning my head closer to her.

"That would be a very bad idea Edward." She whispered as I pushed the hair away from her face.

"Why Bella?"

"Because you'll hate me when you understand." She lightly kissed my lips. "I need to go."

"Wait. Are we…okay?" I asked, confused by what she just said.

"For now, yeah. Don't worry about it." She hugged me quickly then left, leaving me more confused.

What the hell just happened? Why did she leave so soon?

_Bella's POV_

I couldn't tell him and I know that makes me a horrible person but I just couldn't do it. He asked me to be his date for that party and saying yes then telling him what I'd done to him would have been rude. He was furious and making him mad just didn't seem like a good idea. Maybe I'd tell him in a note or in a text.

Right now I hated myself for not having the courage to tell him.

I wish I had never set out to devastate him in the first place. It would have made things so much easier.


	24. Chapter 24: Letter Six: Concealed

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Twenty Four: Letter Six: Concealed**

_Bella's POV_

There was no reason denying it so I may aswell admit it now: I can't tell Edward, not yet. I would have to postpone it until a more suitable time and that meant once the Country Club Christmas Party was out of the way.

It was this weekend and surprisingly I was looking forward to it. Alice and Rose had dragged me round the stores and found me the perfect dress and shoes. They even coordinated with Edward so that he was wearing a matching tie. To me that seemed extreme but they thought it was necessary.

Even though it was very unlikely that my secret admirer had replied, I checked anyway. It was becoming a habit for me, to look after every day, just hoping there would be a response. The only downfall of there being more letters was that eventually there wouldn't be anymore. Once I had been sent all twelve then that's it. Granted I probably would then meet the guy but I liked the secret letters, something private just for the two of us.

It made me feel like I was someone special to them.

I grabbed the dictionary, hunted out the letter and read the word he had highlighted along with the meaning. They all centred around the same thing, the fact that he was a mystery to me and I didn't know who the hell he was.

_**Concealed: **__To keep from being seen, found, observed, or discovered; hide._

_Dear Bella,_

_I very much hope that all goes well with you. If you had wronged me I wouldn't find it hard to forgive you. Try and explain why you did what you did and hope that they understand and can see that now you know you've done wrong and want to change that. Apologising is the first step, followed by forgiveness and if they don't forgive you then forgive yourself as clearly they aren't worth it._

_Have you ever taken part in a school performance?_

_Drama performance, no. Sports, yes._

_Where would you take a girl on a first date?_

_Maybe we should go on one and you'll find out._

_What do you see happening at the end of these letters?_

_I hope that you will give me a chance. By doing this I'd like to think I am proving myself to you and that I'm not just the guy you thought I was, but in fact am more than that. _

_Where would you like to go on our first date together?_

_Would it be a formal occasion or a casual one?_

_Should I bring you a gift?_

_Would you have an issue with me paying?_

_Could I kiss you goodnight at the end?_

_Sincerely, _

_Your Secret Admirer_

I folded the letter up and grinned to myself. He saw us going on a first date which meant me must actually like me and want to be with me. I know, I'm acting like I'm twelve and I have just been told my crush likes me but that's what it feels like.

With all the drama going on these letters have been a God send. They have allowed me to take a break from the cruel jokes, apologies, worry and dread of others finding out and focus on the fact that there is someone else in our school that cares about me, despite what I've done.

Though these letters were causing me an inner conflict. I liked Edward, that I could admit now, but I also liked the guy writing me these letters. I didn't know what to do or how to go about it. With Edward things were more complicated as when he found out the truth he'd hate me therefore I don't want to feel so strongly for him, that will only lead to heartache. Unfortunately I can't help how I feel about him now; I just hope that I don't get in any deeper.

That seemed very unlikely though since I would be spending Saturday night with him, as his date.

"Bella!" Alice called, scaring the crap out of me.

"What is it Alice?"

"Here." She handed me a single flower and another note. "It was dropped off at reception so I went to pick it up for you."

"Thanks." I smiled at her before inspecting the flower and opening up the note to read what the name of this one was.

_Wildflower – Centaurea cyanus - Cornflower _

Like the others, this one was beautiful. It was a rich blue that really stood out and if I didn't know better I would think the guy knew my favourite colour because this was the exact shade of blue I liked.

"So, what does it say?"

"The name again." I passed her the note and she nodded while reading it.

"Do you think this is meant to mean anything?"

"Probably but what, I don't have a clue." I sighed and put the note in my bag before taking the flower back to my locker like usual.

With the chaos of my situation with Edward it was good to have a distraction and the sweet admirer was definitely an ideal candidate for one.

_Edward's POV_

Saturday came round in a blast and before I knew it I had four hours to get ready. That was ample time but I had a funny feeling I'd be travelling at snail's pace whilst doing things, just so I was as perfect as I could be for Bella.

My heart was racing with anticipation and I felt like I could vomit from the excitement. Aside from the physical changes in myself my mind was in overdrive. I couldn't stop panicking about everything that could possibly go wrong, like getting something on my suit, losing my tie that I had been ordered to where by Alice, and other things along those lines.

The first thing I did to get ready was shower. I wanted to smell good for tonight. Many girls have told me that my smell is intoxicating so I would like that effect for tonight. If things go well, I'd get the courage to ask Bella out again but still continue with the letters on the side.

Once showered and dried I put on my suit, making sure that there were no creases, marks, or fluff on it. My tie was dark blue, much like the flower I had sent to Bella only a few days ago, and I made a butchery of tying it due to my nerves.

"Need some help?" Esme asked from my door, smirking at my anxiety.

"Please." She walked over and tied it properly first time then straightened it out and patted my shoulders.

"All done and you look lovely."

"Lovely wasn't what I was going for but it'll do." She hugged me briefly then went to head out.

"She's a very lucky girl."

"Who?"

"Bella." I blushed and began to stutter over my words. "She is Edward. The flowers, letters, while asking her on to this, some girls would kill for that treatment."

"How did you know about the letters and flowers?" I asked, frowning at her.

"I'm your mother, I'm meant to know these things." I didn't buy it so she smiled and expanded. "You left a letter lying downstairs and I thought it was for me from your father, I only read 'Dear Bella' and then looked to see who it was from and gathered that you had set out to finally win her over." I nodded. "Well, I hope it works out, and don't be nervous about tonight, you look great."

"Thanks."

"I'm going to go and get ready then your father and I are leaving, we'll see you there."

"Bye." Esme shut the door behind her and left me to my thoughts.

With that reassurance I felt a little more relaxed knowing my mother would never encourage me if she didn't have faith in what I was destined for failure. So since I was finished dressing I started on taming the beast that I call hair. It was meant to be another one of my good qualities, along with my eyes, so if I got it just right then my chances with Bella would be better, or at least I hoped.

The beast refused to be tamed so I gave up and did the final things before getting into my car and heading off to pick up Bella. Earlier I thought I was nervous but that seemed like mild excitement compared to how I was when I walked up to her door and rang the bell.

My palms were sweating, heart racing, practically panting on her doorstep, and terrified her father would open the door. Luckily he never and I was meant with the grinning face of my brother.

"Hey, how's it going? Wow, you look terrible." He observed, shaking his head.

"What the hell do you mean?" I looked down over myself and couldn't see anything wrong.

"I mean you like you're about to be sick. Nervous much?"

"Yeah just a bit."

"Well don't be. She's a knock out and if you didn't like her hell, I'd be taking her to this thing." I rolled my eyes and pushed past Masen and entered the house.

Charles and two girls were standing in the large entrance hall chatting. I could only gather they were their dates. Bella was nowhere to be seen at that point but then she fell into my view, literally. The heels she was wearing could only be described as death traps and when she rounded the corner sharply, tripped, heading for the wooden floor. But that wasn't going to happen on my watch.

I raced to grab her and hoisted her up against me. She was blushing furiously, with her hair a little skewed but she had never looked more irresistible than in that moment. Hell, I wanted to kiss her so bad.

"Hey," I said, grinning at her like a fool.

"Thanks for catching me."

"Anytime." She smiled back and steadied herself.

"Sorry about that. So how are you?" Bella wrapped her arms round me and gave me a hug before kissing my cheek.

"I'm alright," I lied; I was perfect with her lips so close. "And you?"

"Fine apart from these silly shoes. Do you want to just go?"

"Absolutely." Any chance I could get to be alone with her I'd take as I could feel her brother's eye glaring into the back of my head.

When we went to walk to the car I finally had a chance to take in her dress. It was blue, the same colour as my tie, and ended just above her knees, letting me gape at her beautiful legs in the death trap heels.

I opened the passenger door for Bella and helped her get in before shutting the door and racing round to my side. Once in I started the car and began to pull out of her driveway.

"I forget to say, you look really good in a suit."

"Thank you. You eh….you look fantastic," I said sincerely, looking into her brown eyes.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." We were silent for a few more minutes before she initiated conversation.

"How long do you have left of your suspension?"

"About a week, give or take. Could be longer." I shrugged.

"Oh…how come?"

"I had to give a urine sample for the steroids. The school haven't had the results back and if it's positive then I'm suspended for another three weeks, if not I'm back in one."

"But surely you would know if it was going to be positive or not?"

"Yeah I do, it's negative. I haven't done that shit it two years." I bit my lip, thinking about how messed up that all was. "It's just with someone out there who wants to hurt me, and who seems to have no end to what they can achieve I'm expecting them to screw me over and make it come out positive."

Bella reached over and placed her hand on mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Maybe not Edward. Maybe they know they were wrong."

"That doesn't make things better. They have hurt me with their malicious ways and jibes for my jugular. They want me out the school, that much is clear. If they suddenly think stopping now will change things they're very wrong. All of this has been put on my record which can't be changed. That I won't forget and when I find out who did it I certainly won't forgive them for what they've done." I sighed, just realising how angry I was. "But let's not talk about that." I lifted Bella's hand and kissed her knuckles.

_Bella's POV_

I was so fucked.


	25. Chapter 25: Screwed Either Way

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Twenty Five: Screwed Either Way**

_Edward's POV_

Bella and I entered the reception hall and took in the rest of the guests before heading through to where the main party was taking place. There were large Christmas trees, fully decorated with ornaments and lights in the corners of the room, banquet tables set for dinner on one side of the room with the dance floor on the other. The bar was crowded and noisy which was to be expected while majority of folk were standing around talking, rather than sitting at their tables.

"Do you want a drink?" I asked Bella, holding her hand.

"Yes, please." I nodded at the waiter standing by with champagne flutes and handed her one before taking one for myself. "Thanks."

I took her hand again and kissed her knuckles again, just wanting to be close to her. Bella smiled at me and then leaned into me, resting her head on my shoulder. It felt like we were a couple, standing there and I would love it if we only were.

"Emmett and Rose look like a really good couple." Bella observed. My eyes followed her to the pair of them dancing together and smiling foolishly at each other.

"Yeah they do. An unusual couple but they do look well together. Same as Jasper and Alice." I nodded over to the pair who were coddling up together by one of the Christmas trees.

"And how do you think we look, standing like this?" she asked.

"A very happy and intimate couple." This was a good lead into asking her out. "So if we look the part and play the part why are we not an actual couple?"

"Mhhm, Edward, not tonight." She gently rubbed my chest, over my tie. "Please, not tonight."

"Okay. Sorry my love." She sighed at my name for her but rolled her eyes and kissed my cheek.

"Now, I want to dance." We put our drinks down on the closest table and I led her out to the floor. The band were playing a slow song, like usual at these things, as we took to the floor.

I placed my hand on the small of her back as she put one of her hands onto my shoulder and the other in my free hand. We moved in silence with her occasionally playing with my tie then leaning her head onto my shoulder.

I could smell her and it was addicting. Her hair smelt of strawberries but her skin smelt like freesias. Her skin was so soft that I just wanted to kiss and nuzzle her exposed neck. But I couldn't, not tonight. I would follow her wishes as much as I didn't want to.

The thing I didn't get was that we could act like a couple but she turned me down, again and again. What was I doing wrong or just not doing? She claimed that she liked me but completely tenses up when I suggest us being together. It's like there is a dark cloud over us and only she knows how to vanish it. I can try hard to clear it but to no avail.

What made it that much worse was that I loved her, completely and utterly loved her. Some believe that you don't know what true love is until your older. I thought that was true while growing up but now, with Bella in my arms, denying my affections, I know I love her. She's the one for me and no matter what happens, no other girl will compare to her.

Yet, she clearly feels otherwise, which breaks my heart. Rejection isn't something to take lightly but being rejected again and again takes its toll. I know I should be patient, I do have a plan that seems to be going well but still, I can't help feel that she doesn't like me, Edward, and instead likes the guy sending the letters, as though they are two different people.

Which brings me onto how will she react when she realises who is sending her the letters? At first I expect her to be confused; annoyed that she didn't realise, but eventually warm up to the idea and finally say yes when I ask her out. If not I'll be suffering from the worst type of heart ache, knowing that my one true love doesn't feel the same about me.

_Bella's POV_

I was dancing with Edward, loving the feeling of his warm body against mine and his intoxicating scent around me when Lauren walked in. She seemed momentarily shocked to see us dancing together and my guess is that she knew I hadn't told him what I had been up to.

"Can you excuse me a minute, I need the bathroom," I whispered to Edward. He nodded and sent me a soft smile as I walked away, just making me feel guiltier from keeping what I'd done to him a secret.

"Hey two-faced bitch, how's it going?" Lauren sneered. I nodded towards the bathroom and she followed behind me. "What?"

"Don't tell him, let me do it," I stated. She laughed humourlessly and shook her head.

"Oh I wouldn't dream of telling him. It will hurt him so much more coming from you. If I told him he'd kinda believe me but not really. When you tell him he'll know it's because you have a guilty conscience and it'll rip him apart. There's no way I would offer myself up to be your scapegoat."

"Thank you. That's all I wanted." I went to leave but she stopped me.

"Not so fast. Are you sure you've stopped trying to destroy him?" I frowned in confusion at her.

"Of course I'm sure. Why?"

"Because what you're doing now is the one thing that would really bring him down."

"What do you mean?" I wasn't aware I was doing anything.

"Bella, he's falling for you. When you tell him that you were the one who made the steroids posters and 'accidentally' got him caught for cheating he will assume these last few blissful, fight free weeks have all been an act. You're going to tear his heart out."

"No…no I'm not." But it seemed like I was going to, whether I wanted to or not.

For once Lauren had a valid point. Edward would think this would be my way of really torturing him, trying to hurt him and put him in pain. He knows that I'm aware that he likes me so when he finds out that I did all those horrible things to him he'll think this was part of the plan, ruining everything we've had.

"Yes, you are and you know what, you can't fix this because he's already in too deep." Lauren then walked away, leaving me feeling like shit.

That possibility had never even crossed my mind but now weighed heavily on it. Either way I was screwed. If I told him then he'd think I was lying about liking him and hate me, but if I don't tell him and he finds out another way he'll hate me for not telling him myself.

Things really sucked.

_Edward's POV_

The Christmas Party was actually good this year, I thought so anyway. When Bella came back from the bathroom we danced some more then met up with Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose and enjoyed a few drinks before having the meal.

It was a fun evening with nothing scandalous taking place for once. The food and alcohol was better than usual and the band didn't plan horrible renditions of Christmas songs. So all in all I thought it was a successful evening.

It was made even better when I kissed Bella goodnight. She seemed hesitant so I gave her a light kiss then walked away, hoping she'd finally realise that I am the guy for her. But alas she just headed into her house, never looking back. I kinda got the impression I had done something wrong but definitely wouldn't question her about it. That would just make things awkward and tense.

Monday morning came around and like usual I was at home, wishing I was at school. On Monday's I always had a few lessons with Bella so it was even better and I honestly missed watching her in class. Okay that sounds like I watch her constantly, kinda like a stalker, but I don't. It's just that she does the cutest facial expressions when she's confused, trying to concentrate or finally works out an answer.

But my day wasn't a total waste. My personal mailman, Emmett, stopped by during his free to give me Bella's letter.

_Hey,_

_Well I'm glad that you would forgive me if I did something wrong to you but you seem like the kinda guy who would be very forgiving. The guy I've wronged isn't like that. He will no doubt have a hissy fit and never talk to me again, which would be sad since I'd lose a friend._

_Where would you like to go on our first date together?_

_Just to spend some time with you, to talk etc._

_Would it be a formal occasion or a casual one?_

_Casual for the first one._

_Should I bring you a gift?_

_No, your presence is enough._

_Would you have an issue with me paying?_

_Not if you paid only for you. I shall pay for my own._

_Could I kiss you goodnight at the end?_

_Depends. Let me initiate the kiss if there is going to be one. _

_Now onto my questions:_

_What were you wearing at the Country Club's Christmas Party?_

_What colour of t-shirt are you wearing today?_

_What colour is your car?_

_Personally I think those questions are harmless enough since there are hundreds of guys at our school so it would take me along time to actually work out who you are. _

_Bella_

Re-reading the first part of the letter made my blood boil. There was some git out there that she was scared of. She shouldn't be scared of anyone, not when I'm around to protect her. I wouldn't be having that, I'd find out who the guy could be then force him not to be angry at Bella, even if I had to physically force him.

Other than that the letter seemed rather positive. I was very surprised how she hadn't worked out it was me sending the letters but then again from her position it could be any of the hundreds of guys like she mentioned.

I would be answering her questions since she never actually saw me wearing my t-shirt, I know loads of others have a silver car, and I can be vague and just say a suit for the first one. Granted she mat get annoyed at me for my lack of detail but what does she expect.

The main reason I'm not telling her it is me sending her these is because I want her to prove that she does want to know and find out. If she works to find out who I am then it proves she must like me, therefore I have a chance with her, or at least I hope I do.


	26. Chapter 26: Letter Seven: Disguised

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Twenty Six: Letter Six: **

_Bella's POV_

School was crazy on Monday and the only chance I got to check the dictionary was at the very end of the day. Unfortunately I had to rush home so I could get ready to babysit and I never got a chance to read his reply, only getting a quick glance at his highlighted text:

_**Concealed**__: To keep from being seen, found, observed, or discovered; hide._

When I did get home, after looking after the terrible twins down the street, I raced straight to my bedroom to see what he said. Once my door was securely locked I retrieved the letter from my bag and lay across my bed to read it.

_Dear Bella,_

_Those questions were harmless enough so I answered them:_

_What were you wearing at the Country Club's Christmas Party?_

_A suit_

_What colour of t-shirt are you wearing today?_

_Green_

_What colour is your car?_

_Silver_

_Now time for mine and they don't have to be harmless, thankfully._

_If I could would you allow me to give you a new car? I hate your truck._

_Would you ever play a game of sports with me?_

_What are you going to do after high school?_

_Do you know what you want to study?_

_Do you think you'll attend any of the same universities as your friends?_

_On another note, do you like your flowers? I hope you are as I took a lot of time picking the correct ones. They had to be just right. _

_Sincerely, _

_Your Secret Admirer._

I rolled onto my back and sighed before glancing at my nightstand where my two new flowers sat. This time I was called to the office to collect them while the receptionists looked on with envy. The first one, which was labelled number one, was a light pink and white called Azalea and the second was bright yellow with the name Ranunculus, or more commonly known as Buttercup.

It felt like this was really going somewhere and I hated to admit it because it sounded silly but I was smitten. I didn't want to wait until tomorrow to get a response from him by letter, I wanted to talk to him know. So I grabbed my phone and finally did what he had asked of me before.

_Edward's POV_

I was lounging around in my bedroom, listening to music when my phone went off. Lazily I got off the bed and grabbed it from the desk, when I checked there was no new message which struck me as odd since I definitely heard my phone get one.

Then my brain started to think a little and I opened the second drawer down and grabbed the phone in there. Right enough, she had texted me. Under some impulse I raised my arms in victory and puffed out my chest with pride, feeling elated that she had finally texted me.

"What are you doing?" I whipped round to see Masen standing in the door way, looking at me like I was some freak.

"Nothing." I shrugged and flopped back on the bed, phone in hand.

"Alright then." He stood awkwardly at the door, looking round, glancing at me, nodding his head and just generally make me uncomfortable.

"Can I help you with something?"

"Now that you mention it, yeah." Masen shut the door and planted himself on the couch on the opposite wall. "I need some brotherly advice and I know we've never really done that before but I don't know who else to go to without seeming like an ass or getting laughed at. Plus you have experience in this so it'll be fine."

"Okay…what is it?" He was acting rather weird.

"Right, there's this girl, I really like her and I mean, she's not just one of those hot girls every guy wants but she's also really smart and pretty and funny and she does this cutest thing with lips that drives me crazy and I like her but she hates me and I don't why and I was thinking you could help because I really want her, not just sexually, I mean I want to date her, I want her to be my girlfriend and I asked but she said no and rejection kinda hurts, as you know, and I don't know what to do and I thought maybe you would and I think I'm in love."

"You do know that was all one sentence right?" I asked, just catching on to what he said.

"Yeah, I'm kinda nervous." He sighed and ran his hand through his messed up hair, looking rather defeated. "Edward, she's the one. How do I get her?"

"Was this the girl you took to the Christmas party?"

"Hell no, she was going with Mike Newton's little brother, lucky bastard," he muttered the last part under his breath and shook his head.

"Be smart, be sweet, be funny. Walk her to class and back, carry her stuff, comment on her appearance which means don't say she looks hot, instead she looks beautiful. Listen to what she says rather than fantasise about kissing her, help her any way you can, if she needs support or a friend be that friend even if you want more. Don't even look at other girls as they shouldn't even compare to her beauty, charm her and make her see that deep down there is a gentleman there and she's the only girl that brings it out. That's how you'll get her."

"What, no candy or flowers?"

"No, that's too corny and she'll probably laugh at you." He frowned but nodded.

"Noted, I don't want that. Is that what you're doing to get Bella?" Masen asked, sitting up.

"No I was too late. I had been an ass for too long and she hated my guts a bit much but lately things have been better."

"I hope it works out for you." He stood and went to the door. "Thanks Edward, I really mean it." I just nodded as he shut the door behind him.

It didn't take me long to remember that I had received a text from Bella before Masen came in.

_To: Secret Admirer_

_From: Bella_

_Hey, how are you? Thanks for the flowers, they were lovely and brightened up my day. However your answers did not, you were very vague about everything and I wanted detail *pouts* So how about you answer them again? Xxx_

_To: Bella_

_From: Secret Admirer_

_Hi, I'm fine thank you, how are you? You are very welcome for the flowers. I'm afraid no amount of pouting will convince me to answer them again. I had to leave out details or I would make this too easy for you. _

I put my phone on my bedside table and got up to change my music. After rooting around my cd's to find the right disc I eventually settled on one and swapped it with the one currently playing. Then my phone went off causing me to just drop everything and rush over to it. Usually I'd make sure everything is put back perfectly but right then I didn't care.

_To: Secret Admirer_

_From: Bella_

_Aww that's a shame, I was hoping that you would be willing to answer them again and help me out. But I do understand. I am very well, thank you. Just read your recent letter and felt like I should finally text you. _

_To: Bella_

_From: Secret Admirer_

_I'm very glad you did text me. To be honest I had given up on that happening and figured you would never do it. So I was pleasantly surprised when I heard my phone go off. How are you finding my letters?_

After I sent the message I did go back and fix my CD's so that they were all in the right place and organised correctly. With that mended I hit play and let the new music choice fill the room, relaxing me slightly with the soothing sounds.

The phone went off again but this time I calmly walked over to it, while on the inside I was giddy.

_To: Secret Admirer_

_From: Bella_

_I find your letters very cryptic but also rather sweet in an old fashioned kind of way. Modern technology seems to have changed our ways of communicating and it's nice to go back to the basics again. I do wish sometimes that we could just be one hundred percent honest but I understand why you can't. Do I really have to wait until I've had all twelve letters until I can know who you are?_

_To: Bella_

_From: Secret Admirer_

_You don't have to wait until you've had all the letters unless you can work out who I am from all the clues I've given you. There have been so many that I thought it would be obvious, clearly not though. However I don't mind. _

This time she was much faster at replying and it didn't take long at all.

_To: Secret Admirer_

_From: Bella_

_I didn't realise that there were obvious clues. Maybe I should spend my time going over what you've said in the letters. Will talk to you soon. Xxx_

She ended the conversation pretty quickly and a little bit of doubt made me wonder if I had said something wrong but then again, she could just be going to look at the letters for clues. There was no way I could be sure though I was confident it was the second option.

_Bella's POV_

Last night I spent ages scanning the letters and looking for any sign of who it could be but still came up with nothing. I couldn't spend a lot of time on it as I had homework so gave up after a while. Eventually I would be able to work it out but not right now so he'd just have to remain a mystery man until then.

"Hey." I looked up from my books and saw Edward leaning lazily against the desk.

"Hi. Sit." He nodded and plopped himself down opposite me, giving me that crooked smile I loved so much.

Wait, what? _…smile I love- _I don't love anything about Edward. Where did that come from?

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I wanted to see you," he answered, as though that was a good enough reason.

"Oh."

"So how are you?" Edward asked, crossing his arms on the table and leaning his head on them.

"I'm okay, what about you?"

"Very well. You look really good today," he observed, causing me to blush.

"Thanks." I returned to looking over the books before me and carried on taking notes while he just sat there and watched.

"You trust me?" I looked up, brought out of the silence.

"Yeah."

"Come with me." He grabbed my books and then my hand and led me through the library to a secluded spot at the back. Edward sat down against the wall, placed my books next to him and opened out his arms. "Sit." He mimicked my word from earlier.

"Where?" I asked.

"Here." Edward pointed to his lap and then pulled me down onto it. "Now you can resume your work." With that he wrapped his arm round my waist and held me against him. "You smell amazing."

I ignored him on the outside but inside my heart soared at his comment. Then I returned to my books, secretly thinking about the way he was leaning his head in the crevice of my neck, twirling my hair in his fingers and occasionally kissing my jaw softly. He was a perfect distraction.

For the better part of my lunch hour and two free periods after it I tried to study but he was just not letting that happen. I don't even think he realised how big an effect he was having on me, not only making my heart flutter but also causing inner turmoil, though that wasn't something I was going to think about now.

"Edward?"

"Hhmm?" He murmured, lightly rubbing my waist.

"I need you to forgive me for something but I can't tell you what," I whispered.

"Okay, fine. I forgive you for whatever it is that you did." Even though that didn't make me feel a whole lot better, it did make things a little better.

"Thanks." I dumped the books next to me and swivelled in his arms so I was straddling his waist. "Don't talk, just let me be." He nodded in understanding as I pushed my fingers through his hair and kissed him forcefully. Just wanting to escape and enjoy how he made me feel.


	27. Chapter 27: Wrong Conclusions

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Twenty Seven: Wrong Conclusions**

_Edward's POV_

Her lips were like heaven and I don't think I'd ever get use to them no matter how many times I kissed Bella. They were addictive, along with her smell, taste, feel of her body against mine, her doe eyes and cute expressions.

The sudden need to tell her I loved her was on the tip of my tongue but I knew the second I let that slip she would freak out and never come near me again, which would just be unbearable. I had to be patient which I know I'm not. In due time she would work out from the letters that it is me sending her the letters and everything will fall into place.

If I was to rush things now I could kill it before it really had a chance and that would be the worst outcome possible. After all the planning and effort I put into it I would gutted if I ruined it just as things were about to get good between Bella and myself.

Today I never expected to be here, at school. Being suspended was meant to keep me out of school but I just had to see her after the weekend. I wanted to talk to her, see her, and just be around her like we used to at school. So I jumped in my car and drove here, knowing that if I got caught I'd be in hot water. That was a risk I was willing to take though, so I could be around her.

It was like she was a vital part to me living, the air for my lungs, blood for my heart to beat, food for energy to function, calcium for my bones…you get the picture. I needed her, more than she realised.

Though she confused me with her mixed messages. In the letters she claims there is nothing going on between us yet we're sitting in the library kissing madly, like the worlds about to end. So what is it, are we something or nothing? Again, another question I don't want to push in case I ruin things.

"Bella there you are- whoa!" Alice said, placing her hand over her eyes. Bella immediately blushed and jumped off my lap, leaving the evident bulge in my jeans rather obvious. "Calm down there Eddie," Alice said, grabbing Bella's hand and whisking her away.

"Thanks," Bella called before disappearing from view, with me left by myself surrounded by her books. I figured she'd want them back so gathered them up and headed downstairs to the office to hand them in for her.

"Hey, can I leave these here for Bella Swan?" I asked, rummaging through the titles before looking up to see Mike Newton glaring at me.

"Sure. I'll take them." I handed them over and went to walk away. "You're suspended, you shouldn't be here."

"No shit," I muttered a bit too loudly, earning another glare.

"I'll have to report you." I rolled my eyes and headed for the door again. "Don't you care?"

"No, not really. Why, should I?" Mike sputtered for words.

"Eh…I…well…I thought-t…you'd-d…be angry."

"And? What did you expect me to do?" I frowned at him, the guy was freak.

"Do what you always do when you get angry, hit someone."

"Were you trying to bait me Mike? Did you want me to hit you so I'd get expelled?" His eyes widened a little and he shook his head but I didn't believe him, it seemed too convenient.

The bastard who wanted me out of school would do something like this to me. Plus Mike had access to my personal records and could easily have showed the teachers about my cheating, along with having access to the security tapes of me and Miss Latimer. Someone could have tipped him off about the steroids but he had the facilities here to make all the copies. It had to be him.

My rage over took me and I grabbed him by the collar, pushing him up against the wall. At first he looked shocked but then pissed. Well good, that's what I wanted.

"You're a little fuck you know that. You never got over the fact the Bella didn't look your way and that we took the piss out of you so you had to get even. So why me? Out of all the guys who treated you like shit, why did it have to be me?"

"Get the hell off me Cullen." He tried to shove me away but I was stronger so kept him against the wall.

"No way in hell. Now I know it's you I think it's time for some payback." I pushed his body back against the wall forcefully, gaining a thumping sound from the force before stepping back. "I'll see you after school."

I left before I hit him. If I decided to smash his face in it would be better to do it off school premises where they have no jurisdiction that on school premises where I could get my ass expelled. Granted it took all my will power to walk away but I had to. Also, knowing that I would get to beat the shit out of him later made up for it.

It was better if I didn't hang around so I made my quickly through the school and almost made it back to my car without getting caught or taking detours but I made a split decision and had to check the crush hall. If she had written to me then that would calm me down and prevent me from taking a crow bar to Mike's vehicle.

Hunting through the thesaurus was fruitful and there was my letter from Bella. I shoved it in my pocket and went to my car, speeding out the parking lot and to my house. My parents were both out at work so I just plopped myself in the living room and opened the letter.

_Hey,_

_If I could would you allow me to give you a new car? I hate your truck._

_Aww I love my truck! Never, I won't replace it unless it completely dies on me._

_Would you ever play a game of sports with me?_

_I have a funny feeling you're trying to be smart and are only asking that as you know I'm a klutz. In which case, no._

_What are you going to do after high school?_

_I don't really know yet, depends how much money I have. I'd like to go to university but I don't know._

_Do you know what you want to study?_

_I'd like to study English Literature or something like that._

_Do you think you'll attend any of the same universities as your friends?_

_I'm not sure. It would be good to attend somewhere with Alice and Rose just because they are my best friends but I don't know if that's possible. _

_I did like my flowers thanks. _

_What do you plan to do after highschool?_

_What are you going to study?_

_When's your birthday?_

_That's all, speak to you soon…well not really speak but you know what I mean. _

_Bella_

The anger from earlier partially disappeared as I reread her responses and questions. Did she seriously think I'd answer the last one? If she did she was crazy. That, again, would make things too easy for her, which I wasn't going to do.

I grabbed a pen and paper and started writing the next letter, to put in the dictionary tonight when I went back to school to kick Mike's ass.

Tonight was going to be a night for revenge and I couldn't wait.

_Bella's POV_

"What was that?" Alice asked, practically shoving me against the wall in the girl's bathroom.

"What was what?" I asked innocently, knowing perfectly well what she was referring to.

"Making out with Edward, who is suspended and shouldn't even be here."

"Oh…that."

"Yeah that," she said flippantly.

"It was nothing."

"Bella don't talk crap." Alice started tapping her foot and giving me her no-nonsense look.

"Fine, he came in to see me and since he is suspended we went further back in the library so he wouldn't get seen. Or at least that's what I thought he took me back there for. I ended up sitting on his lap trying to work and he was being the best distraction ever. So I just threw my books down and jumped him like I've wanted to do for ages. Is there a problem?"

"Yes!" she cried.

"What?"

"It's Edward, you know, the guy you hurt like hell. How do you think he's going to feel when he finds out that you did that to him _and _frequently made out with him?"

"I know, I know. Lauren's already pointed that out and I don't know what to do about it but for once I just wanted him, with no complications."

"And what about the guy sending you letters?"

"I like him but I haven't actually met him. He could be different in person and I might not like him as much."

"Fair enough. Have you tried to work out who he is?" Alice asked, easing up on me now.

"Of course. I just don't really know, it's all vague information."

"Well does he do anything that kind of cuts him from the rest of the student body?"

"He's very musical; I mean he can certainly play a variety of instruments." Alice smirked at me.

"You know who spends a lot of time in the music department and is very musical? Your ex, Jacob Black."

"Pfft no. It's not him."

"It could be hell you don't know so why not try and find out. Go to him, ask him some stuff and see if it's him. It couldn't hurt to try. Could it?" She gave me her pout that she knew I hated.

"Fine, I'll go after school!" I said, exasperated by her.

"Yay! Afterwards you must tell me all about it."

"Okay, I will." I hugged her goodbye before leaving and heading off to class.

Just like I promised Alice at the end of the day I went to the music department to find Jake. He always hung out there with Quil and Embry. The place was usually deserted after school so most of their time was spent in the main hall with the vast amount of space and better equipment, which I know from my days of dating Jake.

"Alright Quil when you're ready- hey." Jake saw me peeking in the door and smiled cheerfully, stopping the chords he had started to play on his guitar.

"Hi, sorry to interrupt." I stepped in, nodding my greetings to Quil and Embry.

"Don't be, long time no see." He put his guitar down and walked over to me, engulfing me in his hug. "How have you been?"

"Good, how about you?"

"Much better now." Jake grabbed my hand and led me out of the echoing hall to the storage room at the side which was surprisingly empty. "So what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I wanted to ask you something and it may seem weird." I bit my lip nervously as he watched me curiously.

"Alright, go ahead."

"Are you the one sending me the letters?" His blank face gave me my answer.

"Afraid not Bella, sorry."

"Uggh I knew it." He laughed and wrapped his arms round me so I was leaning against his side.

"If you knew it wasn't me then why ask?"

"Alice put this tiny ounce of doubt in my mind and some of the clues fitted so I had to ask."

"Well sorry, it wasn't me but if I knew that would be the way to get you back I would have done it in a heartbeat."

"You and I both know we're better off friends," I told him, still smiling so he didn't think I was getting mad at him. Jake pouted and turned me so I was flat against his chest and put his arms on my hips.

"But are we really? I remember some great times when we were together." He had slipped his hands under my top and was gently rubbing the bottom of my ribcage.

"Sorry Jake we just can't I'm torn between two guys but you're not one of them." I shook my head and he removed his hands, shrugging.

"It was worth a shot." He kissed my cheek and we walked back into the main hall where Quil and Embry were practicing away. "It was good to see you again, don't be shy."

"See ya Jake." I hugged him goodbye and left feeling relieved.

I don't think I could have chosen easily between Jake and Edward. That would have been really hard. I have history with Jake but Edward and I are finally getting on and I really like him. Thankfully that choice would never have to be made as Jake isn't my secret admirer.

I headed back over to my locker and went to grab my books but couldn't find them. The last time I had them was in the library with Edward and I had left them there. So I trekked up to the library and hunted everywhere but couldn't find them which made me think Edward took them. There was only one way for me to find out what he did with them so I dialled his number, waiting for him to answer.

"Hey Bella, what can I do for you?" his velvety voice asked.

"Hi, you wouldn't happen to have the books I left in the library?"

"I don't have them but I handed them into the office, Mike took them."

"Oh thanks. Bye." With that I hung up and went to fetch my belongings, knowing that Mike liked to leave early on Mondays.

When I stepped into the office Mike was visibly shaking as he was trying to file things away. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with him but cleared my throat so he knew I was there. This caused him to whirl round as though I was about to attack him.

"Hi," I said sheepishly. "You alright?"

"Yeah, fine." He nodded; I think to convince himself rather than me.

"Edward told me that he handed my books in here."

"Here." Mike practically shoved the books into my hands. "Is Edward here?"

"No, not to my knowledge." Mike nodded again. "Anyway, thanks for these."

I left, a little worried over what the hell had Mike so scared, though it's not like he would tell me if I asked. After throwing my books into my bag I went out to my lovably truck and drove home. Charles and Masen were lounging around in the living room and after shouting their hellos I made my way upstairs, only to go back down when the doorbell rang.

"Thanks you two, you couldn't have gotten up and answered it," I yelled at them as they play the Xbox 360 together, completely immersed in that world rather than reality.

"Hi, I have a delivery for Isabella Swan." The guy holding a single flower and a note said.

"That's me."

"Here you go." He handed them over.

"Thanks," I said, noticing how he was already at his van, clearly in a hurry. I shut the door and went back up stairs while inspecting the flower.

It was rather big, had many small petals and was round looking. The petals were a deep purple in the middle of the flower and more of a pink colour elsewhere. It really was very pretty and another to add to my collection. According to the note the flower was a Dahlia and more specifically Aurora's Kiss, and for some reason when I read that I thought of Edward.

I put that down to all the kissing I had partaken in with him earlier and just thinking about that brought back those memories. I was surprised he had allowed me just to do whatever I wanted to him but then again he has made it clear how he feels about me and probably wouldn't turn that any chance of a physical relationship with me down.

Unfortunately I was still left with a dilemma, Edward or my secret admirer. Both seemed charming, kind, and generous but Edward had a few more pros. Like the fact that his lips were godly, he smelt amazing, I loved his bronze hair and the feel of it etc. My secret admirer, no matter who he was, wouldn't compare to Edward.

That also made me worry, how deep were my feelings for the Edward?


	28. Chapter 28: Letter Eight: Recondite

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Twenty Eight: Letter Eight: Recondite**

_Edward's POV_

I watched the little runt leave school, looking around anxiously. He had his back to me, with his head down, probably trying to be sly and slick about his exit. His car was close to where I was standing so I didn't quite get why he was walking the other way. It didn't matter though; he was walking towards the back exit which helped me out.

I got out of the car, not my silver Volvo as I know Mike would recognise it, but the not so subtle Vanquish which does attract attention although he didn't notice it. Quickly I made my way across the car park and followed him out the back exit, round the back of the buildings and into a small pathway that made its way through a wooded area.

My footsteps were very quiet and he didn't hear them as I grabbed his shirt and shoved him down onto the ground. My anger was boiling up and I really wanted to kill him, though I wouldn't let it get that far.

"What the fuck?!"

Turned out the guy on the ground wasn't Mike. It was a guy in the year below and he looked like he was going to piss himself.

"Shit, I'm sorry." I pulled him up of the ground. "Fuck I thought you were someone else."

"Alright, can I go?"

"Yeah…yeah go." To say I was disappointed was an understatement. I was bloody gutted.

Sighing I ran my hand through my hair and stomped my way back to the car. Mike's car was gone, the bastard must have been aware with what was going on, which meant I'd have to try again to beat the crap out of him.

Masen could tell I was riled when I came in so didn't come and see me and spent majority of the night out of my way. Carlisle was working and Esme also knew it would be a mistake to approach me.

I just wanted to make the person who screwed me over, Mike, feel about a quarter of what I've been feeling and going through. The only difference is that their marks will fade; mine have been imprinted on my record for the world to see. No matter what I do to them it won't compare to what they've done to me but at least I'd feel a little bit better about it.

_Bella's POV_

When I got out my truck in the morning at school Alice practically screamed my name across the car park.

"Bella!" she called, scaring half the people around us.

"What is it?" I asked as she squealed in excitement. I wonder if she did that in bed with Jasper.

"My parents are going away for New Years."

"Aww I'm sorry. You can come over and we can do something," I said, trying to console her.

"No, no. That's a good thing. Since they're leaving me I asked them to let me throw a party but they didn't want one in the house so they have rented out the country club and I'm holding a masqueraded ball! Isn't that great?!" She jumped up in down while clapping.

"Wow, yeah I guess that's good."

"You guess?" She pouted at me and shook her head. "It's fantastic. So you are coming and before you protest Rose and I are going to be doing your make-up, hair, and deciding what you where. For that day you will be Barbie Bella and just have to deal with it. I'm so excited."

"I gathered."

"But we can't let the guys know what we're wearing. Only us three can know what each other are wearing. I want it to all be a mystery. Then at midnight we get our new year's kiss with a masqueraded prince. I'm hoping mine's Jasper."

"Obviously. You do know Alice you'll be kinda obvious, no matter what you wear."

"Aww how?" The pout was back.

"Your height and size. Jasper will be able to tell it's you immediately." She looked deep in thought as I said that.

"Well then I'm just going to have to work on a way for me to hide in the crowd." I laughed and shook my head.

"Alice you'll never hide in the crowd. Hell you'll be centre of attention and not realise it."

"Is that a bad thing?" Her face was all sad like I had just insulted her shoes.

"No, you are just so amazing everyone likes to look at you therefore becomes the centre of attention without even realising. You're not like those that try and hog the limelight," I said, nodding at Lauren who was strutting past us, basically asking for guys to check her out.

"Well look I have to go and plan what you're going to wear." She kissed my cheek then excitingly ran off saying goodbye after her.

I shook my head and went into the school building, glad to get in out of the cold. The first thing I did was go to the crush hall and look in the dictionary for a letter. They were like an addiction for me and I really would be disappointed when they ended but then again I would finally meet the guy sending them to me.

I expect that the first time I meet him will be awkward. I know what I expect, in my head, but if I was to actually meet him, well that's going to be a different matter. He could be completely different and possibly a disappointment due to my contrasting feelings for Edward.

I like him when I shouldn't and with each passing day I like him more, possibly to the point that I could be falling for him. That would be a disaster for the whole world. Our two clashing personalities would not gel together well and we'd most likely end up killing each other.

Plus I don't think I could ever date him, if it ever came to that which is highly unlikely. His history and past is too much to forget. He treated girls like shit, acted like a dick to other guys that he deemed below him and was just generally an ass. Though a cute ass at that.

Anyway, I wouldn't be able to cast the thoughts of the other girls he's hurt in his past and how they must have felt. He could also do that to me, break my heart and I don't know how well I'd recover from that. For starters there would be a split in our friendship group.

With Alice and Jasper now a couple along with Rose and Emmett if Edward and I were to fall out they would be left in a rather sticky situation and I wouldn't want them to have to pick sides. Which they would eventually have to do since Edward and I have the maturity of five year olds when fighting each other.

I wish things could have been different. Like when we were younger, growing up together and I first developed that school girl crush on the gorgeous bronze haired boy who had the cutest smile. I just wish he had a similar crush on me. That would have changed things; we could have been really good together.

Not anymore though. Our relationship is twisted full of love, hate, anger, sadness, lust, moments of passion and then moments of revulsion. I'm pretty sure if we were locked up in a room together one of us would be dead by the time we were let out. It's just in our nature together to hate each other and to fight. So why would that change after so many years in that pattern?

I had gotten away from myself. I came to the crush hall to get my letter, not think about Edward and I possibly having a relationship. The dictionary was in the usual location and after taking it off the shelf I searched through the pages and found the newly highlighted text.

_**Recondite- **__Little known; obscure._

Another word to describe our situation but if I had it my way things would be so different. I'd know his name and every little bit of information I could find out about him. Sadly I hadn't sussed his bloody clues so the chances of that happening are very slim as of yet. But I've not given up hope. One of these days I will crack them.

_Dear Bella,_

_I was sad to see you hadn't texted me again. :( Haha am I asking for too much? Anyway here are the answers to your questions. Could you not think of your own, is that why you had to use some of mine? Just kidding. _

_What do you plan to do after highschool?_

_Going to University but I don't know which one._

_What are you going to study?_

_Anything, I haven't thought about it. But I am kinda looking into music. _

_When's your birthday?_

_Once every year. Why is yours not?_

_Now my questions which I want proper answers to. Don't be vague._

_Are you going away for Christmas?_

_Where can I put your Christmas present for you?_

_Please tell me you are going to Alice's Masqueraded Ball? _

_Will I get to kiss you at midnight? _

_Will you be going with a date? _

_Please answer them properly. I think we both know which question I want a real answer to. Get back to me as fast as you can. _

_Sincerely,_

_Your secret admirer._

He wanted to kiss me and at a masqueraded ball he could and I'd never be able to tell who it was. Damn Alice for not just holding a normal New Year's Eve party like every other person would. But no, she just had to be unique and see this as a time for a fancy party. For once I was not happy with her excitement and creative ideas.

After folding the letter away I made my way to my locker and dumped the books I wasn't going to need then heading off to class. It was pretty dull so I decided I would text my secret admirer since he was upset I hadn't recently.

_To: Secret Admirer_

_From: Bella_

_Were you feeling like being a smart ass when writing the beginning of this letter? Xx_

I closed my phone and slipped it back into my pocket then began to pay attention to the droning voice of the teacher going on about god only knows what. Though it didn't seem to matter since it definitely wasn't relevant to the lesson. Thankfully, my secret admirer texted back quickly, giving me something to take my mind of the mundane class.

_To: Bella_

_From: Secret Admirer_

_Aww did you not like that side of me. I felt like mixing it up. After all I have been nothing but a gentleman as of recent that I may as well let some of my personality slip into these letters so you're not shocked when you meet me. Xx_

_To: Secret Admirer_

_From: Bella_

_Are you not a gentleman all the time? Should I prepare myself for the worst when meeting you? :) Xx_

It took a few more minutes until I got my response which I wasn't happy with. That meant I had to pay attention during that time and it was really rather hard to when the guy was just going on and on about nothing.

_To: Bella_

_From: Secret Admirer_

_I would like to think I'm a gentleman all the time but then again I know I'm not. We all slip up now and then. No you shouldn't prepare yourself for the worst. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised when we meet. Speak to you later. Xx_

Surprised. I hate surprises. But does he think it'll be a good surprise or a bad surprise when I finally meet him. Then again I don't know how any surprises are good so either way it's going to be unfortunate for me.

With everything going on, my secret admirer, school, Edward, Alice's party, it just felt like there was too much for me to handle and I wanted a break from it all. Therefore, I decided, after school I would head over to the best distraction created, Edward.

Although he was some of my problems his lips were not and would do the job of keeping me entertained so I could give my brain a rest from the chaos that has been my life lately. Hopefully he wouldn't have other plans.


	29. Chapter 29: Letter Nine: Absent

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer._

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Twenty Nine: Letter Nine: Absent**

_Bella's POV_

Once my day was over I called Edward immediately so I could head over to his and have some fun. No one answered his house phone, which made me think he was out therefore probably busy. And that would ruin my plans for a distraction.

"Hey." Edward answered, after I called his cell phone.

"Hi, can I see you tonight?"

"Eh…wow, sure. I'd love to see you tonight. Do you want to come over now?"

"Yes, please." He chuckled and then told me to come over.

I jumped straight into my truck and drove off towards Edward's house. On arrival I saw him leaning against his Vanquish looking amazing as usual. He heard my truck approaching, how could he not, and watched me as I parked and got out. Then I was blessed with the famous Edward Cullen crooked grin that made my heart flutter.

"Hi, you want to come in?" He asked, grabbing my hand and pulling me forward for a hug.

"Yeah." With that he opened the door and led me inside.

"So is this going to be one of those times where I'm just to be quiet and let you do what you want?"

"That's exactly what I need you to do." Edward just nodded and led me into the living room.

He indicated for me to sit down but I couldn't, not until he had. I pushed him lightly so he was sitting back against the couch then straddled his lap, taking Edward by surprise. Before he had a chance to speak or question what I was doing I kissed him quickly and rather forcefully.

Edward moaned and placed his hands on my hips and pulled me forward, giving me a chance to feel how excited he was with the current situation. My hands were on his chest but I wanted to run them through his hair so I slid my hands up his shoulders and stopped once I felt the bronze locks on my finger tips.

He was groaning as my assault on him slowed so tried to increase the pace again by running his tongue against my lips, begging for entrance. I granted it and moaned along with him when our tongues met.

From then on it was exactly what I needed the ultimate distraction. His lips were perfect, kissing from my lips to my neck and back up again. It was like he knew exactly what I wanted and did it to perfection.

"Edward sweetie…oh my, I'm so sorry." Esme said, causing me to jump off Edward's lap and try to pat down my appearance so it didn't look like I was just straddling and practically humping her son.

"Hi Mrs Cullen." I said nervously.

"Hey Bella, call me Esme please. Edward…I…can I talk to you in the kitchen for a second?"

"Of course. I'll be right back." Edward kissed my cheek and got up.

I was blushing bright red and so embarrassed by that. Just the fact that it was his mother that caught us like that. I'd never be able to look her in the eye again without recalling that incident now. She probably thinks I'm some harlot now after her son.

"Hey gorgeous, what are you doing here? Hopefully you came to see me." Masen said, dropping himself down onto the couch next to me and putting his arm round my shoulders.

"Hi Masen and yes that's exactly why I'm here." I rolled my eyes as he smiled at me before kissing my cheek.

"I knew it. You just can't get enough of me. But I hate to break your heart but my love belongs to another now. I waited on you for so long and you only looked at Edward. I've moved on and with that have had to find a new girl."

"Really?" Usually Masen makes his way from one girl to another, not just sticking with one.

"Yep. Only problem is, she doesn't like me. Well more to the point, she despises me." He said rather glumly.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I asked Edward, he gave me some tips and I'm working on them. Though she doesn't like my dramatics."

"So stop being dramatic. Just act like the good guy I know you are." I said.

"Yeah but you saw that before I became a sex god and my ego went up. It's these Cullen genes I tell you, we're irresistible. Except I'm not irresistible to her."

"So have you been trying your best to get her on your side?"

"Yeah I have but we're travelling at snail's pace."

"Well as long as you're getting somewhere, then it doesn't matter."

"Alright that's my love life, what about yours?"

"I don't have one." He chuckled, much like Edward's but not as good.

"Yeah you do, his name is Edward and he's my brother. Another irresistible Cullen man."

"Edward and I are just friends."

"Lies and slander, you are not. He is very much in love with you Bella just admit that you love him too." I blushed again but shook my head.

"No, not at all."

"Bella come on, you're breaking his heart with everyday you keep up this 'friends only' charade."

"We can't be any more than that Masen. Things are too complicated."

"Hey." Both of us turned to see Edward walk in and frown as he saw Masen's arm around me.

"Hi, did I get you in trouble?"

"Not at all. Come on." He held out his hand and I slipped away from Masen's arm.

"Think about what I said Bella!" He called as Edward and I went up the stairs.

"What was that all about?" He asked when he shut the door behind us.

"Nothing, he's just being silly." I shrugged and sat down on his bed.

Edward sat down next to me and turned slightly so he was facing my. Slowly he ran his hands through my hair, caressed my cheek and gently kissed my swollen lips from earlier.

"Can you just let me care for you how I want to for now?" He asked softly.

"What do you mean?" I was kinda confused with what he meant.

"I like you and if I had it my way we would be a couple, the perfect couple. I've been your distraction for so long that for once I want you to be mine. Can you let me do that?"

He looked sad and sorry as I looked into his eyes and so I decided just to nod and see what he needed me to do. Edward kissed me carefully, like I would break at any minute. Gently he moved me across the bed until I was propped up against the pillows. He lay down next to me and kissed the skin in the crook of my neck.

"Relax Bella, you're so tense. Seriously, nothing bad is going to happen. I just want to lay here with you."

I relaxed a bit but was still a little anxious. It felt like we were a couple, which I guess he was intending, and for some reason I couldn't handle that. It felt weird and I was very uneasy. Edward just lay next to me, completely unfazed by me and kissed my jaw a couple of times. We reshuffled a bit on the bed and I ended up with my head against his chest, listening to his heart beat.

The next thing I knew I woke up against Edward, smelling him, feeling him and listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing. He was asleep too, looking like an angel and so at peace with the world. It was hard to believe he was the same guy I wanted to ruin only weeks ago and would have done anything to succeed.

Now I couldn't even think of harming him, not when he was being such a gentleman and caring for me like no other had. Yet there was something stopping me and it wasn't just the guy sending me letters. If Edward and I didn't work out then things would be ruined and I couldn't have that.

Whether I liked it or not, I needed Edward in my life.

Softly and carefully I kissed him before easing myself out of his arms to get off the bed. He never woke up and allowed me my chance to get away. I wanted to get away before he realised as I didn't want to have to deal with the conversation that would surely ensue once he awoke.

_Edward's POV_

I woke up alone. Bella had left, which I should have expected but was still saddened that she had left. Slowly she was testing my patience. The more she pushed me away the more she frightened me into thinking that when she knows who wrote the letters to her I'll be a disappointment.

Basically I was just waiting for her to figure it out and run screaming in the other direction. I couldn't handle that. I needed her in my life, like I've previously stated, but knew my reaction to her rejection would be worse than I thought.

It would push me over the edge and into a state of depression. I wouldn't be able to handle it and my friends and family knew that. The only person who didn't was Bella and I was beginning to think she was as blind as a bat.

It was so obvious that I loved her, was writing her the letters and sending her flowers yet she didn't have a clue. Instead she played me hot and cold because I was a good kisser and a brilliant distraction. I was being used and although I knew it, I couldn't put a stop to it. Bella would take it as a sign of rejection and no doubt end up being pissed at me. I didn't need that, not when things were going well.

Today was not what I was expecting. When Bella called me I was on my way to the school for Mike but when I heard she wanted to come over I dropped everything. She was much more important than revenge to the dick that was out to get me.

Unfortunately she still didn't see how important she was to me. Bella liked to have her way with me but when I wanted anything with her she tensed and acted like it was something out of this world.

I want us to be a couple and if I say it more and more she might get the picture but obviously that didn't happen. So I had to try just acting like we were a couple. It was the best distraction I could have had, just laying there imagining that this was real. That we were officially together.

God I needed to get a life.

* * *

The following day I worked my ass off on the work I was missing so I could be roughly at the same level when I returned to school. It was rather annoying though, I'd be returning and then three days later we'd be out for winter holidays.

Most won't see this as annoying but I have to get all the extra work and essays assignments in the two weeks of my suspension in those three days and spend my holidays doing it for when we return.

Even though I was working hard there was really only one thought on my mind, Bella. What else would it be?

My mind was also thinking about the response Bella had written to my letter. Emmett didn't have any free periods today so I couldn't rely on him to bring me it. So just after lunch, when classes had begun, I drove to the school and immediately headed for the crush hall.

The thesaurus was in the usual place and with no one around I took it off the shelf and had a hunt for what I was looking for. Once I found it I went back to my car so I wouldn't get caught in school. There I opened it quickly and read it as fast as I was able.

_Hey,_

_You wanted me to be fast at reply, which I was, so I figured I would babble on here and just let you read my answers._

_Are you going away for Christmas?_

_No, I'm here._

_Where can I put your Christmas present for you?_

_Don't even think of buying me one._

_Please tell me you are going to Alice's Masqueraded Ball? _

_Yes I am._

_Will I get to kiss you at midnight? _

_Possibly, we'll just have to see if I feel like kissing anyone then._

_Will you be going with a date?_

_No I don't think so._

_There you go. Hope you're satisfied. Now my questions:_

_What would you like for Christmas, from anyone? _

_Is Christmas a big deal in your family?_

_Do you want a white Christmas?_

_From _

_Bella_

_XxX_

I was so elated by the three X's at the end of the letter and the fact that I might get a kiss! Granted we had kissed before but this would be the first kiss for Bella and her secret admirer, not Edward and Bella who were lustful teenagers using each other for their hormonal needs.

There seemed no better time than the present so I grabbed a pen and piece of paper from my glove box and got writing. I remembered that the next word I had to highlight in the dictionary was '_Absent'_.

_Dear Bella, _

_Thank you for the quick response and for your good answers. I am very pleased that you might be willing to give me a kiss at midnight. I certainly will be looking forward to that evening, whether or not I get a kiss. Here are my answers:_

_What would you like for Christmas, from anyone? _

_You…haha was that too cheesy? Most likely. Em…I don't really know. I guess I would like a new piano; my one at home was recently violated by a friend. _(I'd never forgive Emmett for his and Rose's sex games. They go at it like animals all the damn time.)

_Is Christmas a big deal in your family?_

_Absolutely, my mother loves it._

_Do you want a white Christmas?_

_Yes, I think it would be rather romantic. Plus I'd get to have a snowball fight. _

_My questions now: _

_Would you like snow?_

_Who's the festive one in your family?_

_What would you like for Christmas, from your family? (Also I already have you a gift and you will accept it whether you like it or not)_

_What colours would you like it gift wrapped in?_

_Will you be taking part in a Secret Santa this year?_

_That shall do. I want answers to these Bella. I know you don't like gifts but I've already bought it so let me just give it to you. It would be a waste of my money otherwise and I know you wouldn't like that. So please._

_Sincerely_

_Your Secret Admirer._

I folded the letter up, got out of my car and placed it into the dictionary, highlighting the appropriate text and meaning.

_**Absent**__- Lacking; nonexistent: He is absent from her mind._

With that done I got the hell out of there and just had the task of waiting until tomorrow when she wrote back. It was one more letter down and one more clue given, yet she seemed no further along with working out who I was.

I know she has the ability to do it; I just don't have the patience to wait. But I'd have to try.


	30. Chapter 30: Letter Ten: Without

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer_

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Thirty: Letter Ten: Without**

_Edward's POV_

The following day I came to school just after lunch, hoping for a reply. They were my addiction now, much like Bella herself. It was a pain in the ass that I was still suspended as I missed her during the days but that was soon to be over.

I continued my usual routine and retrieved the letter, left the crush hall, got in my car and opened it up. Already the euphoric feeling I got with these letters had struck and I was pretty sure nothing could spoil my mood, even if I still had to plot Mike's demise. Anyway, back to the letter.

_Hey,_

_Here are your answers. I've decided not to fight with you on the gift issue but since you've bought me something, much to my dismay, I'll just have to get you one too. Anyway:_

_Would you like snow?_

_No I hate snow._

_Who's the festive one in your family?_

_No one, actually probably Charles._

_What would you like for Christmas, from your family? (Also I already have you a gift and you will accept it whether you like it or not)_

_Fine, I'll take your gift but I'm not happy with it. I don't mind at all what I get for Christmas, I'm perfectly alright._

_What colours would you like it gift wrapped in?_

_You can choose._

_Will you be taking part in a Secret Santa this year?_

_I know I'll have to, Alice and her ways will make me._

_So, please give me some hints as to what you would like for Christmas so I can know what you'd like. My questions:_

_What type of movies do you like to watch?_

_Where do I put your gift?_

_If you were taking part in a Secret Santa what would you buy someone?_

_From _

_Bella_

_XxX_

Of course I wrote a response, highlighted the dictionary and then left. That really was the highlight of my day but since Bella wasn't going to fight me on the whole gift idea I had to get home and wrap it all nice for her.

I stopped at a store on the way and bought silver ribbon and dark blue wrapping paper that was shiny. I wanted the gift to be wrapped immaculately so did my research on how to wrap it best. I know that's ridiculously sad but I just don't care. These small details mattered; they showed her that I cared.

With everything done and set I gathered her gift from my cupboard and set about wrapping it. After twenty minutes of fighting with the paper and getting it to look just like it should I worked with the ribbon. That was a bit a challenge but I did get it to cooperate. The gift looked ideal and was ready to go.

Alice was going to be my deliverer for this. She was so excited and wanted to help since I didn't let her help with the notes at the beginning so I opted for her to do this instead. She would be coming to mine sometime this evening and would give it to Bella closer to Christmas for me. That way no suspicion could arise and Bella would have to figure out who I am by herself.

That shouldn't be long either, especially since we're on letter ten. Only two left then all my clues are out there and we can finally be the couple I've been trying to become for ages. She was my crush as a boy and now she's the love of my life. I just need her to realise that.

_Bella's POV_

Today I received two flowers. Well to be honest, one was a flower and the other a rather sharp plant with some small yellow flowers on it. But it was the thought that counted, not necessary what the flowers looked like so that's what was really important. I tucked them away for safe keeping, along with the note, after taking one last look at the names, hoping to find some kind of clue.

_Calochortus Nuttallii – The Sego Lily_

_Ulex Gallii – Western Gorse _

Nope, nothing. To me they were just the Latin names of the flowers and their more common name. No clues whatsoever. So what the hell was this guy on about? As far as I was concerned there were no clues unless he had given me them in the answers to my questions but I doubt that. He had been specifically vague, much to my dismay, and his answers didn't narrow it down at all.

It could still be anybody, apart from Jake since I already asked him. This was so infuriating.

My day was pretty dull at school. There was nothing exciting going on, just the usual. Except I noticed that my days were incredibly lonely without the bronze haired boy to torment my thoughts and very being. I missed Edward, badly.

School was boring without his lively character about and it drove me crazy that I was at this stage, of actually liking him and missing him. It shouldn't be like this and it should never have come to this. We are meant to be hating each other or just staying away from each other, not having hormone filled moments of lust in his house, the library or anywhere else.

I was in over my head with him and I hated that with a passion. Especially since I liked another guy. Neither of them knew of my feelings for the other and I couldn't' voice them or I could spoil everything. Patience is the way to go right now but I feel like being everything but patient.

After school Alice and Rose were taking me out for a dress and a mask for the ball. I didn't see the point of going so soon but they insisted it would be better to go now. Alice had actually already designed our masks and wanted us to go see the final product. If we didn't like them though she understood and could get them changed but there was no way I was going to have her spend so much money on me so no matter what it looked like I'd accept it.

Rose was the designated driver as she wanted to take her car rather than have us drive. Alice and I didn't mind so just hopped in her car and let her take us where we needed to be. It turned out that Rose didn't know where she was meant to be going so Alice had to direct us.

We arrived at a small store that I would have walked passed, not because I hate shopping, but because it just looked dull, boring and you would never think to get something worth buying from in there. Alice seemed like the last person who would shop there. For starters it wasn't fancy or expensive and I had no clue how Alice even came across this place.

After parking and upon entering the store Alice practically ran away towards the back. An older woman who looked old enough to have seen both world wars embraced her and they started talking animatedly. Rose and I just stood, looking at the racks and racks of dresses, each one different from the one before.

"Guys, come over here." Alice called. "Rose, this is your dress. I know it seems kinda bland but with your figure it's one hundred percent you."

It was a typical Rose dress, red and glorious. In the dress she'd be a goddess who could take over the world and every guy would fall at her feet. My guess is that was exactly what Alice wanted for her, so Emmett would be putty in her hands.

"And Bella, this is yours."

Like most of the clothes Alice picked out for me the dress was blue, a dark blue to be more specific. It was beautiful, again like most of the clothes Alice gave me, and it seemed like the perfect dress to wear.

"Now I know, the dresses aren't really that important since this is a masqueraded ball. Therefore the masks are the most important thing. And here they all are!" She waved her arms over to a showcase where three masks were located. "Each one matches the colour of our dresses."

Mine was lovely and with the dress it would look magnificent. The mask just went round my eyes; it was a dark purple colour, with sequences round the outside that was silver. There were feathers, dark blue and purple, that came off the top and another sequenced part of material that came round the side and hung down next to one of my eyes. It looked amazing.

Rose's was black and red, with sequences and glitter all around the mask. Like mine it just went round the eyes. It would look amazing on Rose, especially with her long blonde locks and according to Alice the black would match as Rose would have to wear a black shawl and black stiletto heels.

So I was going to be in blue, Rose in red and Alice was going to be sporting cream. I thought she would have been more adventurous but she wanted to blend in; therefore Jasper wouldn't suspect it to be her. He's so use to her being bright and vibrant that if she was to go looking 'boring' he wouldn't find her. Somehow she thought that was a small achievement, though I don't know why.

When it came to paying I was shoved away and Rose and Alice dealt with it. No matter how much I protested they wouldn't let me pay for a thing. They then decided that to make up for it I could buy them coffee or something along those lines. In comparison it didn't make up for the dress and mask but I never had the choice.

Once the shopping trip was over Rose dropped Alice and I back at the school so we could get our cars then to go home. I watched Alice hop in her Porsche and speed off as I went into school to check for my letter. Joy and happiness over ran me when I found it, along with my highlighted word.

_**Without- **__Not accompanied by: He could not go on without her but she could go on without him._

_Dear Bella,_

_We're being exceedingly quick with these letters and I hate to say there are only two left. Though there is a bonus, you then can find out who I am and hopefully that will be a good thing for you. _

_What type of movies do you like to watch?_

_Action, comedy, horror…anything really._

_Where do I put your gift?_

_Eh...if you give me some time I'll think of a place where we can exchange gifts. I'll text you the details._

_If you were taking part in a Secret Santa what would you buy someone?_

_For a guy I'd buy them some technology gadget, game or whatever and for a girl I'd get them soap, shampoo and bath stuff. As you can tell I'm not very good at the whole gift thing. _

_My questions!_

_What laws have you broken?_

_Ever thought about rebelling?_

_Worst school rule that you broke?_

_Since I'm running out of questions I'll change the rule about questions now. I ask three and you can ask five. _

_Sincerely,_

_Your Secret Admirer_

Finally he was allowing me to ask more questions. I had hundreds I wanted to ask him and but as he left it so late I could only ask him ten more. I need those questions to make him give out details about himself without him realising. That will probably be harder than I think and he might work out what I'm up to but I need to try.

His so called clues seem to be doing me no good and I'm no closer to knowing who he is. Therefore I'm going to have to try and get better at deciphering what he's saying, or writing as the case may be, and I may need to ask for some help, perhaps someone to watch the crush hall.

A.N.

Pictures of all the flowers, the girls masquerade masks and dresses are all on my homepage. Please check out the pictures of the masks and dresses as I know my descriptions suck and I found it really difficult to explain Bella's.


	31. Chapter 31: Weird Feeling

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer_

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Thirty One: Weird Feeling**

_Bella's POV_

For some reason days passed and I couldn't bring myself to write a response to my secret admirer's letter. There were only two left and I wanted to prolong that time, yet I didn't know why. So I never made a secret detour to the crush hall for the remainder of that week and not even in the days leading up to winter break.

Those days were the ones that Edward returned to school and I have to admit I was very happy to see him. Although I didn't let him know that. There's no need to give the boy more of an ego boost. As far as I knew he settled back into things well, minus all his teachers watching him like a hawk and having to attend detention every day.

We never actually spoke to each other though and that was rather annoying. It was like we were purposely avoiding each other and I know that's not what I was doing. But I couldn't find the courage to just go over to him and say something.

It felt too weird after all the chaos of us using each other. Me using him for my hormonal instincts and him using me for some comfort. I didn't want to address that situation and obviously he didn't either and since neither of us were going to there was the black cloud hanging over us, preventing us from communicating in any way.

At lunch our friends noticed the weird atmosphere and wondered if we had fallen out but both of us said no, looking blank and perhaps sharing the same thought, that we both were fine but felt that talking would be a bad thing.

Although I did want to talk to him I just didn't know what to say. It was rather unusual to have him around and even though I was glad as I had missed him it still felt weird.

The six of us finished lunch up with Alice telling us of our extravagant plans for new years, which I couldn't believe was coming up so soon. It felt like just yesterday it was the beginning of the school year and hell, now it's Christmas.

As I went to walk away and go to my locker I felt someone's hand grasp mine and I knew exactly who it was from the touch of his skin against mine. The shock was evident on my face as I turned to see Edward looking down at me.

"Can we talk somewhere, in private?" He asked quietly, not really alerting the others to our new advancement of communication.

"Sure." Edward nodded and then let go of my hand, which I missed immediately.

"Follow me."

I did as he said and followed him through the corridors and into a vacant classroom. The blinds were drawn and the room was pretty dark but he didn't turn the lights on. Instead he sat in the middle of the teacher's desk and pulled me to stand in front of him.

"I missed you." Edward admitted, kissing me on the cheek. "How have you been?"

"Eh…fine." I didn't really know what to say. I was a little startled by his admission of missing me, even though the feeling was mutual.

"What is it?" He asked, pushing some of my hair away from my face and tucking it behind my ear.

"Nothing. I just…it's nothing." He frowned but shook his head.

"I feel that I've done something wrong, perhaps to do with the last time we saw each other, at my house." I looked down at the floor, knowing we'd have to get to that eventually. "I gather I made you uncomfortable."

"It wasn't that, I just feel like I'm leading you on. Edward, I like you, physically. You're a great distraction but I don't know if I can like you more than that. You want us to be a couple but I'm not sure if that's possible yet. Plus I was pretty embarrassed by Esme catching us like that and wanted out of there before I saw her again." He chuckled and reached for my hands.

"Okay, I admit that was embarrassing but I was really hoping you would have stuck around anyway." His thumbs caressed the back of my hands as he looked into my eyes. If felt intimate again and it seemed like all our meetings involved an intimate moment.

"What did she say to you anyway?" I asked. He smirked and shook his head.

"She politely told me that those certain activities should not take place in the living room where just anyone could walk in and my bedroom would be more appropriate. To be honest I think she was as mortified as us with that encounter."

"Understandable."

"Anyway, back to what we were saying. Have I done something wrong? Do I make you uncomfortable when I use you as a distraction but in a less physical way than you use me?"

"Honestly, yes. I don't like it." I chanced a look and saw the hurt in his eyes before looking down. "Sorry."

"No. Don't. Don't apologise. I understand perfectly. Hey, we're not a couple so we shouldn't act like one. I understand completely." He had gone all distant on me again. Edward sighed and stood up, leaving me standing where he had me before.

"Are you okay?" I knew he wasn't, that much was obvious.

"Yeah, sure. Of course." He nodded; I think to convince himself more than me then left the room.

As much as I hated hurting him in any way that had to be done. He had to understand that we couldn't act like a couple. Not yet anyway. If the guy writing me letters turned out to be some weirdo then I'd ask Edward out myself. If not I had just made the right choice, even if it felt like I didn't.

_Edward's POV_

She had changed her mind about me and it hurt like hell.

There had been no reply letter the last six times I had checked the thesaurus and there had been no contact whatsoever between us. Not only had she gone off me but she had also gone off her secret admirer.

Maybe she had worked it out and realised from the clues I was sending her who I was. If so then she knew it was me and from what had just happened in that classroom it was obvious that she didn't feel the same way.

I thought that we stood a good chance together but clearly not. Bella must still be repulsed by me but for some reason holds no boundaries when it comes to physical activity. I know I'm a nice guy to look at, I was blessed with looks from the gene pool, but that doesn't mean that I like her taking advantage of me now that I know she doesn't even like me a little bit.

Any other guy in my situation, having Bella practically throwing herself them, would love the no strings attached rule that seems to be in favour. I, on the other hand, don't like that at all. I want commitment from her. I want to be able to call her my girlfriend. I want to know that I'm the only guy she likes enough to date her.

If only those things were all true.

Instead she rejects the idea of commitment, turns me down when I ask her to be my girlfriend and keeps me at an arm's length as there is bound to be another guy she likes this way. Maybe Jake. They were a good couple and I figured at one point the inevitable would happen and they'd get together again but I severely hope that time is not now.

He would ruin everything and although I don't have a problem with Jake now, I could easily find a reason not to like him if he was to take Bella away from me. Although she's not exactly mine to be taken it still feels that way.

God it felt like things had fallen into a realm of madness. Everything was meant to be so easy and follow a simple path to get Bella to see me as more than a jerk and more of a charming guy she'd like to date. Instead it's all gone down the pot and I don't have a clue what's going on.

It would just be easier now if the holidays would come and we could perhaps resume our possible friendship in January. Even though it would be awkward at Alice's masquerade party I'm pretty sure we could get through it but I'm not sure if I'd get that kiss at midnight like I'd hoped for.

I continued walking, not quite sure where I was going. While walking on my aimless journey I saw a small figure sprinting towards me. Of course I stopped to see what Alice wanted but from the look on her face I gathered I would be getting in trouble for something.

"Hey Alice."

"Edward, we need to talk." She grabbed my arm and pulled me outside where it was practically deserted.

"Okay, what about?"

"Bella." Of course, what else would she want to talk to me about?

"What about her?"

"What have you done to her?" I frowned at Alice and shook my head.

"I haven't done anything. Why?"

"She's been acting weird all day and I just saw her now and she seemed rather upset."

"Was she crying?" I would have hated to make her cry.

"No but I could tell there was something wrong and I just knew you'd have something to do with it. So would you like to enlighten me as to what you've done or am I going to have to get nasty?"

"Alice as much as I would love to tell you I honestly don't know. Bella is uncomfortable with the idea of us acting like a couple and I understand. She told me clearly and I won't do it again. That's it." Alice rolled her eyes at me.

"Of course she's uncomfortable with the idea of you two being a couple, she likes her secret admirer and if you come along you might ruin her chances with him. She's just being safe."

"Yes, well she's also stopped writing to her secret admirer so I gather she's worked out who I am and wants nothing to do with me."

"No, you're wrong. Bella has no clue that it's you writing to her. If she did she would have told me, trust me on that."

"But how do you know?" I asked.

"I just do." It was apparent that I'd just have to trust her on that.

"Alright, fine. So if she doesn't know who her secret admirer is then why isn't she writing back?"

"I think she just needs a break from that. She'll write when she's ready."

"Yes Alice that's all good and well but have you forgotten that we're not going to be in school soon and that in roughly three days we break for winter holidays." A frown creased her forehead before disappearing.

"Well then you'll just have to give her another location to put those letters during the holiday."

"I can't." It was adamant that I used that dictionary. "She won't get the clues if she doesn't have the dictionary in school."

"Steal it and shove it somewhere public then that no one will think where to look."

"Steal it? Alice I'm not a criminal." She giggled and shook her head.

"Edward you've broken the law before so don't try and act like you're a saint. Take it on the last day when everyone is busy just trying to get the hell out of there and no one will notice. If they do, who would suspect it's you?"

"Fine I'll take it but where can I put it once I've committed my petty crime?"

"The library. No one would think it out of the ordinary for a dictionary to be there." Alice patted my arm in satisfaction of a plan concocted.

"If this backfires I'm blaming it on you." I warned her.

"It won't. You should trust me when I say it'll all work out. See ya." She hoped up and kissed me on the cheek before racing away.

I sighed to myself, knowing that the next two weeks in the lead up to New Year were going to be frantic and awkward. If Bella decided to speak to me again I had to try my best not to mess it up. The last thing I needed was for her to be pissed at me and then work out I was her secret admirer. That would not help my case.

But at the moment it seemed like nothing was helping. We were stuck in a standstill for the time being and only Bella could get us out of it. I just hoped she decides to pick up a pen and reply to me before I go crazy.

A.N.

To anonymous reviewer Sabrina L: Your email never showed up in your review hence why I haven't emailed you to let you know that I have updated.

On another note, I'm unwell and until I get better updates will be slow.


	32. Chapter 32: What If

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer_

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Thirty Two: What If…Things Just Got Complicated**

_Edward's POV_

Today was the last day in school before winter break and Bella hadn't gotten around to writing to me. Alice said that I shouldn't expect a letter anytime soon but that didn't stop me from hoping that there would be one.

So with things travelling at snail's pace on the secret admirer side I was trying to make up for that on the regular Edward side. Granted, I was still a little peeved by Bella and her refusal to give me a chance, even if it was just a tiny wee one, but I was going to apologise for going all moody on her and see if we could patch things up.

We were in first period together and the teacher didn't want to give us any work so we were all just sitting around talking. Bella was off at the side of the room, leaning against the radiator reading a book she had brought to class, keeping to herself. Without causing too much disruption I manoeuvred my way across the room to her side.

Out of the corner of her eye she looked at me but then returned her eyes to the page before her. It was clear she was waiting on me to be the first to speak. I leant back and crossed my arms over my chest, our arms touching slightly as I did so.

"I think I acted rather immature the other day and I'm sorry about that." I said, not looking at her when I spoke.

"You should be. You acted like a petulant child who didn't get his way and then went stomping off." I heard her say, with her eyes still on the page.

"Well that's why I'm apologising. So do you accept my apology?"

"I do." I suppressed the gleeful smile threatening to spread across my face.

"Good. In that case, now we're friends again, do you want to bail out of here and just skip school?" That got her attention and she looked at me with wide eyes.

"You want to bunk off?" I nodded casually. "Tell me you're kidding?"

"I'm not. Come on, we're not being taught anything today so we may aswell make the most of our day. Let's get out of here. Please?" I pouted and Bella rolled her eyes in response.

"Fine but how do you plan on getting us out of this class? We still have another fifty minutes before the bell."

"Oh I know but it's not that hard. What's Mr MacCaig doing as we speak?" Bella looked over the room then spotted the teacher.

"He's on the computer and by the looks of things sending an email to his wife." She said, not seeing the significance.

"What way is he facing?"

"The wall, his back is to us."

"And, what's behind us?" We were getting there…gradually.

"The radiator." Bella still looked confused as hell.

"And?"

"A window." She smirked and shook her head. "There is no way that we are going to climb out this window Edward."

"Aww why not? He'll never know. Plus it's not that hard."

"You've done it before?" Bella raised an eyebrow at me as I shrugged.

"I didn't want to be in detention."

"Yeah because that makes it all better." She muttered as she grabbed her belongings off the desk in front of us. I quickly grabbed my things and took them back to where we had been standing. "So how do we do this?"

"The window opens outwards, thankfully."

While Bella continued to 'read' her book I jimmied the latch behind my back and the window opened very slightly. Luckily the room was freezing so no one would notice if the window was open, making it colder. I pushed the window out and made sure it was open enough then Bella and I both sat on the ledge.

"And how do you suggest we get out now?" She whispered.

"Drop backwards." Her eyes widened again and she shook her head violently. "Trust me Bella, there are bushes below us. It won't hurt that much. Ready?"

Before she had a chance to answer I dropped backwards, falling for a split second then hitting the ground with a thud. To our advantage the classroom was on the ground floor so although it wasn't a big drop there was still a bit to fall due to the foundations of the building.

Two seconds later, as I was still lying down, Bella came down on top of me. Her elbow connected with my ribs, which hurt like a bitch and caused me to yelp out in pain. Once Bella realised what happened she bounced off of me and knelt down, looking scared shitless.

"Oh my god are you alright?" She pushed her fingers through my hair, taking it away from my face, and bit her lip. If I wasn't careful I'd end up with a hard on while she did that.

"Yeah." I grunted.

"No you're not!"

"Yeah, I am. Don't worry." I sat up, stretched and apart from the small amount of pain from the point of contact with Bella's elbow I felt fine. "What about you? Did you hurt yourself?" I asked, scanning her body for signs of injury.

"No, I'm fine." I grabbed our bags and the stray book Bella had been holding when she fell and stood up to get out of the bushes. Bella followed me to my car and hopped in as I put our things in the boot.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"To my house. I figured we'd watch a movie, have lunch and just generally hang out. Does that sound okay?"

"Absolutely."

I drove out of school, every so often glancing at Bella sitting next to me, and pulled up at my house within twenty minutes. I chucked her my house keys and fetched our bags from the boot before joining her inside.

Bella had wandered into the kitchen and was leaning against the worktop looking at me with my hands shoved in my pockets, checking her out.

"Enough of that." She warned but the smirk that played on her lips told me she didn't have that big of an issue with it. "Let's get some food, what have you got?"

I opened the fridge and pulled a few things out as we decided to have sandwiches and then pig out on junk food. With a tray full of food we headed back to the new extension my parents had added which featured a theatre room.

The room was pitch black and after I put the tray down I turned on the projector, turning the room blue from the light. We debated over a few movie choices but eventually settled on one and as I set it up Bella went upstairs to change. Since we were going to be sitting around like slobs all day we wanted to look the part so she grabbed a t-shirt and shorts from my room then changed and handed me a pair of pyjama bottoms I didn't know I had.

I changed in the bathroom and came back in time for the opening credits. Bella looked up at me while munching on her sandwich as she was sprawled across the couches.

"I never gave you a t-shirt." She said, frowning at me.

"I know, I figured you forgot so just thought I'd wear this one."

"No, I didn't give you one as I didn't want you wearing one."

"Oh." Hell, what was I to say to that? "Okay." I took off my t-shirt and dumped it on the floor then settled down beside her.

Neither of us said anything during the movie but about half way through Bella slid over and laid her head on my chest, snuggling up to me. I wrapped my arms round her and pulled her closer to me. Ten minutes later I felt something warm and wet touch my chest. When I looked down Bella was kissing me and occasionally licking me. Instantly I was aroused and due to only wearing thin pyjama bottoms it was exceedingly obvious I was enjoying Bella's little adventure of my chest.

"Bella, please don't tease me. You've told me that we can't be anything. Don't toy with my emotions, I beg of you."

"You will hate me sooner or later. Right now, I just want you, regardless of the consequences." She went to kiss me but I stopped her.

"Why will I hate you? This isn't the first time you've said something like that and I don't know why."

"You'll find out sooner or later." Again she leant in but like last time I stopped her.

"No I want to find out now." She sighed and shook her head.

"Not right now Edward. I just want a little longer with you before things get ugly. Please don't deny me that." She begged.

"I don't see how I could ever hate you. You know I'm crazy about you."

"Yeah and sooner or later you'll come to your senses and I don't expect you to ever speak to me again." I looked at her sadly, not really happy.

It seemed like she'd done something or was keeping something from me and I hated not knowing what that was. If it was something that could threaten any possible relationship for us I think I at least should be told so we can talk it out and come to some sort of understanding.

As I was lost in my thoughts Bella had crawled on to my lap and was straddling me. Her lips were on my neck and she was gently kissing and sucking on my Adam's apple, gaining a throaty moan every so often. I shoved the worries of why I may hate her in the future to the back of my head and just focused on her and her body grinding into mine.

She lifted her head and wrapped her arms round my neck, looking me straight in the eye. I placed my hands on her hips and momentarily paused her grinding into my arousal. Bella licked her lips and gazed down at mine for a second before returning her look to me.

"I'm falling for you, hard. But we can't be together. Not yet." She whispered, barely audible over the movie we had ceased watching. There were tears in her eyes but they failed to fall. "Just give me today. Let me ignore my sins and guilt and be with you, just for today."

How could I deny her? She was giving me everything I ever wanted, her love. It may only be for one day but hell, that's a lot longer than not having it at all.

I nodded, still slightly dazed by her confession of falling for me.

I kissed her softly, almost as though it was a confirmation for the arrangement we just made. Bella kissed me back instantly and it was accompanied by her grinding movements, her hands running through my hair and the small moans she would occasionally make.

The both of us stayed there, wrapped in each other's arms for a better half of an hour and then Bella pulled back and stood up, climbing off my lap in the process. She grabbed the tassels on my pyjama bottoms and brought me to my feet. With that she took my hand and led me upstairs, the movie still running in the background.

We entered my room and she sat me on the bed before locking the door. I was in awe of her still, not believing that this could actually be happening. Bella walked round me and lay across the middle of the bed, patting next to her for me to crawl over.

I lay down with her and gently kissed her, trying to tell her with my lips that we don't need to do this and it doesn't have to be rushed. She placed one of her soft, delicate hands on my cheek and kissed me once before stopping to take a breath with our foreheads touching.

"I want to do this with you but I understand if you don't want to." She was back to whispering again, like if we spoke any louder it would shatter the intimacy of the moment we were sharing.

"I want to but …you know I'm still a virgin, right?" I asked, feeling rather shy about that subject. She nodded and kissed me quickly.

"Yes, that's why I want to make sure that this is what you want. Once we have sex, you don't get your virginity back." I nodded in understanding, seeing slight regret in her eyes.

"I want you Bella, body and soul. Even if it's just for one day."

And there it was decided, I lose my virginity to the love of my life, and I had never felt more nervous. Bella could tell that my words filled with confidence about my conquests from what felt like a past life were all bullshit and I knew she saw how anxious I was.

A thousand questions began to buzz me. What if she didn't like what she saw? What if I wasn't good enough? What if I couldn't give her the pleasure she was bound to give me? What if I finished too quickly in all the excitement? What if I did it wrong? What if I hurt her? What if I couldn't get a grip of the situation and the whole thing became a fumbling mess?

What if…?

"Relax." Bella whispered, kissing my chin, lips, nose, jaw, neck and then down my chest. "There's nothing to worry about. You'll enjoy this, I promise."

"That's not what I'm worried about. What if you don't enjoy it?" She smiled and shook her head.

"I doubt that's possible." I was pushed onto my back and she straddled me again. "After all, I will be taking charge of the situation."

Like earlier, our decision was sealed with a kiss and the following hour was one of the best of my life. Innocent kissing led to exploring hands, followed by foreplay, groping, touching, clothes being removed, discovering each other's body, then finally sex.

Afterwards we crawled under the covers and Bella snuggled up to me again, her naked body next to mine, skin touching skin. She was obviously tired from doing majority of the work so when she fell asleep I didn't bother to wake her. Instead I shut my eyes and remembered the blissful experience we just had.

It would forever be imprinted in my brain. Not just because it was the first time I had sex but also because it was the first time I had sex with Bella, my love. And the added bonus was that she was starting to love me too. Today would always be the day to top all others for me.

Eventually the exhaustion kicked in and I fell asleep like Bella. Unfortunately when I woke up I was alone. Just like that, she bailed on me. I grabbed my pyjama bottoms and did a quick search of the house, not finding her. She had cleaned the theatre room and put everything away we had left out, grabbed her things, left my t-shirt and shorts neatly folded on the stairs and there was a note on the kitchen counter.

I felt tempted not to read it, knowing that it could only clarify that she was gone and that from now on we wouldn't talk about what we shared together.

I picked it up with shaking hands and struggled to comprehend the words. It felt like I had been kicked in the gut but I guess that's what I deserve. I should have been expecting this; I knew it wasn't going to last long. I just wish that it handed ended like this.

_I fell, but now I've gotten back up._

_Isabella_

It was clear what she meant. The possibility of her loving me was out the window. She was over it. Rather than love it must have been lust. There was a part of me that didn't know what to do, that would just stand there and let the world pass by in a pit of misery. But I couldn't let that happen.

I wasn't just going to let her go without a fight. She probably wouldn't want to talk to me again and may even prefer if we never saw each other so my options were rather limited. Thankfully, I still had my secret admirer plan that could win her heart over. That's if she ever decides to write back.

Quickly I looked at the clock on the wall and saw that I had half an hour before school shut up for winter break. I changed as fast as I could, hopped in my car, where Bella's scent lingered, and drove like a bat out of hell to the school.

While everyone was gearing up to leave school, going to their cars, I was going back in the building. The crush hall was pretty vacant when I entered which helped me considerably.

I planned on being smooth when taking the dictionary from the shelves. I wanted to be subtle so was going to lean my back against the books, grab the dictionary and slide it into my bag unnoticed.

I didn't know what the chances were of me being caught but I knew that there would be hell to pay. They'd probably want to expel me for all my antics and I guess that's what I'd deserve but obviously I didn't want that to happen. So I had to make sure I didn't get caught.

But being subtle was not on the cards when I only had a limited time. I basically walked over, grabbed the dictionary and shoved it in my bag beore hightailing it out of there. No one seemed to notice, however I wasn't going to take any chances so didn't stick around.

I went straight to the library and walked in inconspicuously. The back section of the library was filled with books on god only knows what but with the amount of dust on the tops of them it was clear no one ever checked them out.

The dictionary I stole from school was shoved on the bottom shelf, away from anyone who just happened to walk by and notice that the book was in the wrong location. It would really be shit if the librarian found it and removed it. My plans would then go down the drain.

I wrote down the names of the books on either side of it and then scratched a mark on the shelf. Those details were then sent to Bella via text as I walked out, my bag and mind suddenly much lighter.

If I could just get her to figure out who her secret admirer was then I'm sure we would be a couple, especially after what we got up to this afternoon.

Now all I needed was everything to go to plan.


	33. Chapter 33: Need

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer_

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Thirty Three: Need**

_Bella's POV_

I freaked out and left him in bed, naked with a post-coital look about him and his sex hair.

It was not the smartest thing to do, to leave that is. I should have stayed and explained thoroughly to him that although I was falling madly in love with him we couldn't be anything yet. He would have to be patient and wait for me, if he was willing.

I don't regret having sex with Edward, hell I'd do it again in an instant, but I do regret the way I left things.

When I woke up I realised there was no other option than to leave. Immediately. So I put on my clothes as fast as possible, folded his up, cleaned the theatre room, got my things and went to leave. At the door I realised I had better leave a note so he got the message. Even if the message was a lie and hid my true feelings for him.

It was a cold and cruel note but it had to be done.

Then I left, tears streaming down my face, knowing that it would hurt him. But I needed to, I had to have room and with Edward around I couldn't have that. Though that didn't make me feel any better when I left.

Since he dropped me off I walked back to school and then drove around aimlessly, feeling like shit and miserable for hurting the one guy that I truly care about. I had stopped crying but they were replaced by dry sobs and eventually I just had to pull over and cry my heart out.

Things were fucked up and I hated being caught in the middle. I love Edward, there I admit it. Unfortunately that doesn't help me since I practically feel like I'm cheating on my secret admirer when I think that.

Plus just because I love him that doesn't mean he'll be all forgiving when I have to tell him that it was me that spent ages trying to screw his life up and get him expelled. No, somehow I don't think he'll see the funny side of that and just accept my apology right off the bat.

Every cell in my body wanted me to turn the car around and drive back to his house, beg for him to forgive me and then have make up sex like nothing had ever happened. However that was highly unlikely to happen.

Instead I called Alice, practically crying down the phone, and said I had fucked up and needed to talk to her. She automatically invited me round to her house, not before asking if she needed to come pick me up in case I wasn't fit enough to drive. I turned her offer down and cautiously drove over to hers.

I stepped out of the car, on to the plush front lawn and then was wrapped in the pixie's arms. She had come bounding out the house when I pulled up. Alice moved back and took in my appearance before dragging me upstairs to her room.

"Sit and tell me what happened?" She said, placing me on the bed and then sitting cross-legged on the floor.

"I slept with Edward." Her eyes went wide and her eyebrows shot up but she let me continue. "Then I left before he woke up, leaving a note that basically said I only wanted sex from him and that I felt nothing at all." The tears were running again.

"And that's not how you really feel?" I shook my head as she handed me tissues.

"I love him Alice." I whispered, feeling fresh tears in my eyes. "And today I think I hurt him more than I ever have in the past."

"What did you do?" She asked.

I explained in detail about what happened when I woke up and the note I left. She was horrified to say the least about what I wrote on the note. And to be honest so was I.

"Why would you write that?"

"I don't know. I needed to get away. I wanted to sort out my head and knowing Edward he would think that by us having sex we're a couple now."

"But you're still thinking about your secret admirer?"

"Yes I am." Alice sighed and shook her head.

"You need to write to your secret admirer."

"I can't. It's only possible in school."

"No it's not." She told me. "I spoke with him and he moved it so you two could keep in contact over the holidays if you were ever going to write him back."

"Alice please tell me who it is? I have to know. It would make things so much easier." I begged.

"I can't Bella. He specifically wants you to work it out on your own. So that's why I suggest you write to him."

"In the meantime what do I do about Edward?" I asked, feeling like crap for hurting him.

"I have no idea. He'll be hurt, pissed and moody but I guess you should explain why you did it."

"But I don't really know why." I muttered.

"You said it was because you wanted space."

"Well it is, partly. For some reason I love to hate him Alice. I just can't love him, that's wrong. By hurting him I know he'll act like a little bitch and then I can hate him, which just continues my cycle. I'm so use to it that I can't stop it. Seriously Alice, I'm fucked up and I've fucked up."

"Speak to Edward, that's all I can say." She shrugged then gave me a hug. "Things will work out sooner or later, I promise."

I didn't believe her just yet but would take her word for it, she was weird like that.

Shortly after I left and went home just to crash in my bed. Right before I pulled the covers over me I checked my phone and saw I had a text from my secret admirer. It told me the location of the dictionary from the crush hall that was now at the library between the books he mentioned and on the shelf with a scratch on it.

I guess now was as good as any to write back to him. Having forgot what the last letter said I hunted it out and worked on my reply.

_Hey,_

_Sorry for taking so long to get back to you. I had a lot to think about. Anyway…_

_What laws have you broken?_

_Underage drinking, theft, vandalism, hacking, breaking and entering…I think that's it._

_Ever thought about rebelling?_

_Yes, constantly. I would love to but know it would only be short lived._

_Worst school rule that you broke?_

_Breaking and entering, hacking into the school computer system, vandalism and theft. Ha, it seems I've already started rebelling. _

_Thank you for finally letting me ask you five questions rather than just three. It's about bloody time. _

_What laws have you broken? I doubt you're a saint. _

_How many girls have you slept with? Or guys if you also swing that way?_

_Are you a known playboy?_

_Ever been in love?_

_What do you want us to become?_

_I know they are all rather personal but I don't want to beat around the bush anymore. _

_From _

_Bella _

_XxX_

I folded the letter up and left it on my desk. I'd deliver it tomorrow as I was too tired to go out again right now. With that I crawled back into bed and just wanted the world to close up around me.

Sleep engulfed me but I woke at midnight exactly, still feeling like shit and knowing I'd have to go see Edward regardless if he if wanted to see me or not. The house was locked up but Charles was in the living room, watching a movie with a girl I hadn't seen before. I said a brief goodbye and then grabbed my keys and left.

I parked my truck two houses down from Edward's so that he wouldn't hear the noise of the engine. Quickly I made my way up the street and surveyed his house. All the lights were off except Masen's. Instead of breaking and entering I called Masen's cell.

"Hey gorgeous." He answered, clearly seeing the caller ID before answering.

"Hey, do you think you could come downstairs and let me in your house?" I asked.

"Oooh are we going to have a late night rendezvous? Perhaps you've finally had enough and want me to take you to bed."

"Yeah, definitely." I said sarcastically. "Come let me in?"

"I'm at the door now." The front door opened and Masen gave me his charming smile. "How you going to make it up to me?" He asked, still speaking on the phone.

I hung up and walked over to him, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Thanks Masen."

"You're welcome my love." I rolled my eyes and went upstairs as he locked the door behind me. "What you doing here anyway?"

"I need to speak to Edward."

"Ah, you use me to get in just to see my brother. What has he got that I don't?" He joked. I chuckled and shook my head.

"He's Edward Cullen."

"That's not a good enough answer but I understand." Masen then bid me goodnight, kissed my forehead and opened Edward's door for me to go on in.

He was sleeping peacefully and I hated to wake him but I had to. Earlier I acted rash and now I needed to fix my mistake. Hell, that seemed to be all Edward and I did. He did something wrong, apologised, we're friends, I do something wrong, apologise, we're friends and the cycle continues.

There was plenty of room on one side of the bed so I snuck over there, having shut the door behind me, and sat down on the bed. Edward had rolled over and seemed to be facing me, looking even more angelic than before. The sheet was pooled around his waist showing his gorgeous chiselled chest. I had to stop myself from moaning out loud.

Softly I lay down on the bed and pushed his hair out of his face. He turned into my hand and made a content noise before gradually opening his eyes.

"Hi." He said confused. "What? What are you doing here?"

"I fucked up and needed to speak to you." I whispered.

"This is a surprise." He muttered, pulling me to lie down next to him. "I thought you wouldn't go near me ever again after earlier."

"I thought you would chuck me out your house due to the note I left you." Edward then frowned and I regretted bringing it up.

"I'm pissed about that." He said angrily. "You screwed me literally and metaphorically." I winced at his words and scooted away for him. "Bella, you have to stop fucking me about."

"I know." I whispered, feeling like crap again. "For some reason I can't stop myself."

"That doesn't make any sense to me."

"I know that too."

"Care to explain?" He rose his eyebrows at me.

"Not really but I will. Bastard, wanker, conniving git, manwhore, sadistic pig, womanising dick, those are just some choice words I use to describe you with. Now I think your sweet, funny, smart, kind, caring, loving, honest and one hell of a lover. I can't seem to like you…love you without needing to hate you aswell."

"You're still not making sense. I understand that I used to be a prat and that I've changed but-"

"I'm starting to realise that I have to stop fighting you and this. It'll all come out in the end but I have fallen head over heels in love with you and I can't comprehend that. It makes no sense. You'll see. Not now but later you'll see what I mean."

"Stop saying that. Either tell me now or just leave it alone. I'll forgive for what you've done if you just let it go. Let us move on, together."

"I need some more time."

"You said that you're in love with me. Why do you need more time?" I could understand why he was reluctant to let me have more time in case I changed my mind and bailed on him again.

"My secret admirer. As stupid as that sounds I can't keep doing this when he thinks there is a connection and there kinda is. It's not as strong as the one I have with you but I'm hoping that after all the letters we could still be friends after all of this. Especially if I'm going to be with you."

"So once you've dealt with your secret admirer we can be together?" He asked, hopefulness clouding his eyes as he stroked my cheek calmingly.

"Yes, I think so."

I knew I'd have to confess what I had done to him but maybe he wouldn't be bothered much by it when I told him. I was hoping that would be the case although the chances were slim.

I was in deep now. I had confessed my love for him and my heart was in his hands. If, and when I told him, he decided to shatter it he could in an instant. He may want to hurt me as I hurt him previously but I'd beg with Edward to forgive me. I just needed him to do so.


	34. Chapter 34: Letter Eleven: Dead

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer_

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Thirty Four: Letter Eleven: Dead**

_Bella's POV_

I woke up the following morning next to Edward. Instantly my thoughts rushed to last night and I was glad to remember that we had sort of made up. It would do no good if he woke up and freaked out as I was in his bed. We never really spoke in detail about what went on and how I treated him and I dreaded when we would have that conversation.

Thankfully Edward was still sound asleep next to me so I had a bit more time. I got up and decided to quickly use his shower, hoping he wouldn't mind. By the time I was all clean and dry Edward was up and had been in the bathroom to leave me some of his clothes. At first I thought he was doing it as a joke seeing as he only left me some clean boxers and one of his shirts. When I saw the clothes I thought maybe he'd give me some gym shorts or something but he clearly thought otherwise.

Since I didn't have any other options though I just put them on and exited the bathroom as I towel dried my hair. He was sitting up on his bed reading a book and listening to his ipod, completely oblivious to the world around him. When he finally noticed me I was sitting down next to him. The headphones came out immediately and then the book was placed aside.

"Morning. I see you got my clothes." He smirked.

"Yes, thank you." I wasn't going to act all snooty about it; he had been kind enough to give me some in the first place even though I would have preferred something a more than a shirt that had only two buttons attached and short boxers.

"You're welcome. There's some breakfast on the desk, I didn't know what you'd like." Glancing over I saw that there indeed was breakfast on the desk, enough for ten folk rather than just one.

"Thanks." I muttered, sliding off the bed and grabbing a bit of toast. He sat back and watched me momentarily. "Do you not want some?" Edward shook his head.

"I've already eaten, while you were in the shower."

So as I ate away he returned to his book, every so often looking up at me, probably to see what was taking me so long to eat. I could tell once we finished, or rather I finished, we would be having the dreaded conversation about 'us' and what that meant.

I couldn't hold off much longer and eventually finished, wiped my mouth with a napkin, took a drink of juice, went back to his bathroom to brush my teeth (he gave me a brand new toothbrush from under the sink), then returned. His face was all serious like and I just wanted to kiss the anger in his eyes away. Alas, I had to refrain myself.

"I'm to give you more time, that I understand. What I don't understand is why you mess me about. There have been countless times where I've bent over backwards just to have you look my way with a smile rather than a scowl so do I not deserve an explanation." He sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair. "You treat me like shit."

"I know but I honestly don't mean to. It's like a reflex, you're Edward Cullen and I'm meant to hate you."

"Where did you get that impression?"

"From you! We've never really been friends, ever. Not even when we were little kids."

"That's because you were always a bitch to me. I tried so hard to get your attention and you would kick up a fuss and somehow I was the jerk."

"Edward you are a jerk." He scowled at me but there was a certain part to it was true.

"How? Explain in detail how I was when we were about five or six years old?" He practically yelled at me.

"Because you would act all sweet and kind one minute and then the next you were a terror out to get me. Hot and cold all the damn time. I never knew if you liked me or not and what was I meant to do apart from be a bitch!"

"You could have just said 'hey Edward, are we friends of should I just keep treating you like shit?'"

"Yeah I'm sure you would have loved that!"

"Regardless, I never treated you badly. If anybody did it was you to me. I was trying so hard to impress you."

"And you acted all high and mighty while doing so. I hated that.

"You could have told me that!"

"Why? Why would I?"

"You just should have. Anyway that's not why were fighting now. That note you left-"

"It was a lie. I told you last night how I felt about you. Surely you were listening though I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't."

"What's that meant to mean?!" He cried, clearly offended. Well good, I'm glad he is.

"You never seem to listen to me." He laughed humourlessly and shook his head.

"Bella, I don't think you listen to yourself. I'm told to back off and leave you alone yet you come round and jump my bones, asking for one day when you knew I'd find that difficult."

"I was trying to work out how I felt about you." I called, trying to defend myself.

"Yeah, well couldn't you have found another way that didn't involve hurting me? It seems that's all you like to do. Hell, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were the one out to get me expelled and ruin my life."

"What?!" I squeaked, no doubt paling instantly at what he just said.

"Nothing, you know, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that I'm tired of you treating me like crap. I half expect you to stab me in the back someday. There's so much venom in you that I think you like to see me get hurt. Well, let me tell you that I won't have it anymore. I'm a decent guy and there are other girls out there. You're not the only one. Yes, I am absolutely one hundred percent in love with you but that doesn't mean I'll stand to be treated like shit!"

"I'm sorry, how many times do I have to say it?! Can you not forgive me for my mistakes?"

"Yes I can but there seems to be a never ending list with you and your mistakes. All I ever do is forgive you so who's fault is it really?"

"Not mine!"

"I know that." He said as I sighed; we were going round in circles.

"We're both to blame."

"What do we do now?" Edward asked, looking at me in confusion after several seconds of silence.

"I don't know." It kinda felt like the end of something, though I don't know what. "Maybe I should go." I suggested, waiting to see what he was going to say to that.

"I think that's a good idea. Come see me when you've sorted all your crap out. I'll wait for you but not for long." I nodded and grabbed my things. "Keep the clothes, they look good on you."

"Thanks." With that I left immediately, walking down the street in his shirt, boxers and my flats. I must have been a sight but I didn't care.

My truck roared to life and I drove back home, just wanting to crawl back in bed. Things were all messed up again and I still had no idea how to fix them. At some point I'd have to tell Edward that I actually was the one trying to destroy his life but right now didn't seem like the ideal time. Hopefully after I had everything sorted out with my secret admirer then I could tell him, and try to make it clear how much he meant to me after I had been a total asshole to him.

When I got home my bed called for me. I know I had just been asleep but that really didn't matter. All I wanted to do was dive under the covers and push everything out of my head. The smell of Edward lingered on his clothes and my heart ached for him.

I was hurting him when all I wanted to do was love him. For once I was convinced we could be a great couple but with the way things were going it seemed we would never be one or by the time we got there our once feelings of love would be in tatters and in its place there would be resentment.

After my sleep I threw on jeans over Edward's boxers and just kept his shirt on. I grabbed the letter for my secret admirer and hopped in my truck to go to the library. Just like it said in his text the dictionary was exactly where it was meant to be.

I slid the letter in and left, once I was back at my house I texted my secret admirer telling him that he had a reply. Hopefully he would do the same for me and I would know when there's a reply, shortening the time between letters. I wanted to get things back on track again and maybe sort everything out before Edward gives up on me.

I don't want to lose him as a lover or friend but this path needed to be explored. I would regret not pursuing the route of who my secret admirer was so knew I just had to do it.

All I had to do now though was wait on his reply.

_Edward's POV_

The fight with Bella that morning was a tear in the foundations of our friendship, if that's what you could call it. We both said some things that we wouldn't be able to take back and although that's good on some level as we both now know how the other feels it's also damaging. Trust will be a major issue if we ever started dating and that problem needs to be resolved now before it causes anymore turmoil.

Her text did brighten my day a bit. Just in case she was loitering around the library waiting for her secret admirer I grabbed a bunch of school books and work I had been assigned over the holidays to make it look like I was actually going to the library to work.

When I pulled up I noticed her truck was not there but that did not mean she wasn't. I might have been overly paranoid about it but I wasn't taking any chances. She needed to work out who I was on her own, that was proving that she cares about her secret admirer aswell. Plus it may just make her want to forgive me for some of the things I've done wrong recently.

After doing two rounds of the library and coming up blank of Bella I went to the allocated section and quickly took the letter out. Since I was set to work I sat at a near table and wrote a reply. From anybody glancing over it looked like I was studying away.

_Dear Bella, _

_Thank you for replying and don't worry about the long delay between responses. I am glad to hear I hadn't offended you which was my impression when you never replied. Due to obvious reasons I moved the dictionary but it's good to know that you found it easily enough from my text. Now on to my answers to your questions:_

_What laws have you broken? I doubt you're a saint. _

_I wouldn't say I'm a saint either. Underage drinking, drug usage (I do not do that anymore however), breaking and entering, hacking into the school computer systems also, and cheating in high-end sports competitions due to steroid use. _

At least that's what I wrote. Unfortunately some dickweed came over and tripped next to my table, spilling water on the page, so instead of it saying the above it read: …hacking into the school computer systems also, and cheat- then a whole load of smudges. The one day I use a fountain pen things get messed up. Well I was too lazy to rewrite it so just continued anyway.

_How many girls have you slept with? Or guys if you also swing that way?_

_I am a heterosexual male and although have nothing against homosexuals I personally am not one. I have only slept with one girl._

_Are you a known playboy?_

_I was._

_Ever been in love?_

_Yes._

_What do you want us to become?_

_I want you to give me a proper chance and hopefully from there we can work on becoming a couple. That may sound freaky now but once you work out who I am things should make more sense. _

_I don't mind your personal questions. Just ask whatever you want. Apologies about the ink mess, not my fault. Anyway now my questions:_

_How many times have you been in love?_

_Ever had your heartbroken?_

_Would you do anything in your life differently?_

_Thanks,_

_Your secret admirer. _

After sighing off at the bottom I went back to the dictionary and highlighted this letter's word and meaning.

_**Dead-**__ Incapable of being emotionally moved; unresponsive: __dead to her insult._

_Once I was thoroughly away from the premises I texted Bella back telling her she had a new letter and then drove home just thinking about how complicated things seemed to be getting. _

A.N.

A few readers haven't been happy with the rating of this story being T rated. I was just wondering if I was pushing the boundaries of T and should just change it to M. You're thoughts would be very helpful. Thank you.


	35. Chapter 35: Letter Twelve: Evanescent

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. _

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Thirty Five: Letter Twelve: Evanescent**

_Bella's POV_

This morning when I woke up there were four new flowers on my bed side table with one note in front of them all. Before I even had a look I went to hunt for my parents or Charles to see how they got there. I would freak if the guy had been in my room while I had been sleeping. That would just have been creepy.

Right enough Charles had brought them in and placed them there for me to see. There was a tag attached to each one with a number going from one to four. The first one was a white lily that went by the name of Lilium longiflorum or also Easter or November Lily. The second was also a lily called Lilium Bulbiferum and was orange and yellow.

Euphorbia Pulcherrima, called a Poinsetta which was bright pink. The last one on my bedside table was Narcissus Pseudonarcissus, aka a wild daffodil that was the usual bright yellow. Obviously I got the proper names for them from the note. I would never be able to name them off the top of my head.

I grabbed my phone off the other night stand and sent him a text to thank him for the four flowers. After that I changed and headed off to the library for the new letter that was apparently there. It was and I wrote my reply while still at the library.

_Hey,_

_Thank you for telling me when the next letter was here and thanks for the flowers. They were all lovely. My answers now:_

_How many times have you been in love?_

_Only once._

_Ever had your heartbroken?_

_No but I think that I might soon, if I don't get my act together._

_Would you do anything in your life differently?_

_I would have given someone a chance when they needed one and would never have hurt them the way I did. I can't forgive myself for that and the way I treated them. _

_Here are my questions:_

_Are you looking forward to the Masquerade Ball?_

_Will you tell me what you're going to be wearing so I can find you?_

_Do I get anymore help to work out who you are or is this it?_

_Will you miss these letters?_

_Have I given you the chance that you said you wanted?_

_For the last time, _

_Bella_

_XxX_

I folded it up and shoved it in the dictionary, texted him to say it was there and then left.

Christmas was in two days and I needed to get him a gift, despite the fact I didn't know who he was. I remember from our other letters that he had gotten me one so that meant I just had to buy him something, even if I had no idea what it was going to be. Maybe I could call Alice and ask for some help.

_Edward's POV_

When I woke up I immediately called the florist. Now that Bella was writing to her secret admirer I could continue the flowers I was sending her. There were four left and I just decided to send them all. By the time I wrote the twelfth letter she needed to have all the clues and hints so it only made sense to give her all four and the note with their names.

I got a call telling me they had been delivered and then about an hour later Bella sent me a text, thanking me. All my loose ends were now being tied up. She had all the flowers and nearly all the letters. That's all she needed to work out who I was. All I needed was her to put the clues together though. Hopefully that part wouldn't take too long.

Instead of lying around and thinking of when Bella might write back to me Masen and I decided to play the Xbox 360 together. We hadn't really spent much time around each other as of recent and that seemed rather unusual, we once were close.

The time together allowed us to catch up on each other's lives and just hang out. I've heard and seen from other guys that they hate their younger brothers but I kinda like Masen. Then again, what's there not to like? He's practically a mini me before some twat tried to ruin my life.

We paused for lunch and that's when I was graced with another text from Bella. She had written back. Masen understood why I bailed and called Charles to come take my place in the game. I grabbed my keys and raced to the library.

It was the last response I would get from her. Letter twelve would have no questions in it for me. I would address her questions but wouldn't ask any of my own. It was the last piece in the puzzle and that thought filled me with excitement. Sometime in the next few days she could work it out and voila, we could be together.

I read her reply then began letter twelve, the last one.

_Dear Bella,_

_I'm sad to say this is the last letter but maybe there's a positive outlook to it somewhere. We now can finally meet, if you work out who I am that is. Good luck with that though a smart girl like you shouldn't need it. _

_As this is the last letter I won't ask you questions, just answer yours. _

_Are you looking forward to the Masquerade Ball?_

_Yes I am._

_Will you tell me what you're going to be wearing so I can find you?_

_Afraid not. I will come find you._

_Do I get anymore help to work out who you are or is this it?_

_This is it. I've given you plenty of clues._

_Will you miss these letters?_

_Yes I will but hopefully they won't be the end of our friendship._

_Have I given you the chance that you said you wanted?_

_Yes you have. Thank you. _

_Love Your Secret Admirer_

_xxxxx_

And that was it done. I went back over to where the dictionary was, pulled it out and highlighted the last bit of text and meaning.

_**Evanescent**__- Vanishing; fading away; fleeting._

Now all I begged that she would work it out soon or I'd go crazy.

_Bella's POV_

He wrote back in the same day and I was delighted. Of course I dropped everything I was doing and went to the library with Alice coming along for the ride. We had found him a suitable gift so purchased it right away and then went for a late lunch.

I read over his letter and thanked my lucky stars that I happened to have all the letters and notes with me. When I had a free moment I planned on looking at them. Now I had a valid reason for carrying them around, to work out who he was.

I had all the clues and answers in front of me, that was what I had to keep reminding myself. But yet, I was still stuck at square one and couldn't see his name in the letters. It was frustrating and incredibly annoying knowing that the minute I worked out who he was I could go speak to him.

It was relatively quiet in the library and I knew no one would come looking for me so I was camped there, with all the bits and pieces he had sent to me. I had the letters and notes from the flowers scattered on the desk around me as I worked my way through, trying to pick up any clues.

"What is it?" Alice asked, coming in and sitting down next to me.

"I can't work out who this is!" I moaned, re-reading the letters again and again.

"Are these all the letters he sent you?" She questioned, peering at the sheets of paper.

"Yeah. He says that all the answers I need are here, in these stupid letters but I can't find what he's talking about."

"Eh…Bella?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"He's spelt his name out for you."

"What?! Where?!"

"You really want to me tell you?" I spun in my chair and nodded to her.

"Of course. Please, I'm dying to know. I don't think I can do it on my own but I really want to know who he is."

"Take the first letter of each word starting with the last one he sent you and it spells his name."

I had written the highlighted word for each new letter at the top of them and now saw how that had come in handy.

**E**- Evanescent

**D**- Dead

**W**-Without

**A**- Absent

**R**-Recondite

**D**- Disguised

**C**- Concealed

**U**- Unseen

**L**- Latent

**L**- Lost

**E**- Evasive

**N**- Nonexistent

My entire world crashed down around me at that point. Well not literally, but it felt like it did.

Everything just seemed to feel hollow. I had been tearing his life apart due to my bitterness, all the while he was sending me letters, telling me how much he liked me and wanted a chance. All the details he hid and questions that went unanswered all became clear.

It was so obvious it was him, so how come I didn't notice?

"His name is also the phone number he gave you." I heard Alice say. "And the beginning of each letter for the flowers, their name, spells his name too.

"What?"

"His number, 3392-732-8536. If you make each number that corresponds on your phone it spells 'Edward Culen' but with only one 'L' since he ran out of numbers."

I took out my cell phone and right enough, it worked. He had practically spelt it out for me, twice, so how come it went straight over my head?

"What was the other one?"

"The flowers."

**E**remurus Robustus

**D**aylily

**W**ildflower – Centaurea cyanus

**A**zalea

**R**anunculus

**D**ahlia 'Aurora's Kiss'

**C**alochortus Nuttallii

**U**lex Gallii

**L**ilium longiflorum

**L**ilium Bulbiferum

**E**uphorbia Pulcherrima

**N**arcissus Pseudonarcissus

"Shit." I muttered, catching on to what she meant.

"Shit indeed." Alice said, patting my back and pulling me into a hug.

"I screwed up."

"Yeah you did."

"What do I do?" He would never forgive me after I told him what I had been up to.

"I honestly don't know. You were trying to destroy him and I don't think he'll see you in the same light after all of this."

"No, he won't." I could feel the tears forming in my eyes.

I never gave him a chance so he did the next best thing. The Edward from the letters was one I liked beyond belief but the Edward I know was the one who could make my body go crazy with hormones and turned out to be the one I fell in love with.

He had control over me emotionally and physically.

But now, all that was lost. He would hate my guts the minute he found out I had been the one causing him all that trouble. It hurt like hell knowing that I would never get the chance to be with him. The tears made their presence known by spilling down my cheeks, my chest was hurting from the panic overtaking my body but it wasn't enough. The pain and hatred I felt for myself couldn't break out by simple tears.

It was as though I should be screaming at the top of my lungs and begging to God for another chance to fix my mess, not whimpering like a little girl.

I had been hurting Edward by tearing apart his life, and he didn't even know it.

Things were now officially screwed up.

A.N.

Thanks for your thoughts on the rating; I'm going to keep it T despite the fact that I may have crossed the line a few times.


	36. Chapter 36: Sink or Swim

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. _

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Thirty Six: Sink Or Swim**

_Bella's POV_

It was Christmas day and I wanted to stay wrapped in bed but eventually my parents called up the stairs when Phil and Renee pitched up.

"Come on Bella, there's a package at the door for you here?" She called before greeting Charles.

I lazily crawled out of bed and threw on some clothes then made my way downstairs. On the last step was a big brown box with industrial tape sealing it together. It was addressed to me so I took it into the next room and opened it up. Inside was another box, this one just a tiny bit smaller and it was wrapped in blue paper with silver ribbon round it.

It was rather heavy when I had to take it out the box which stumped me as to what it could be. I undid the nice wrapping, being sure not to rip it, and revealed a leather bound set of Jane Austen Classics. They included Pride and Prejudice, Mansfield Park, Emma, Persuasion, Sense and Sensibility and Northanger Abbey. It was a beautiful set and at the bottom of the box was a note.

_Dear Bella,_

_Merry Christmas_

_Love Your Secret Admirer_

Which meant they were from Edward. I smiled to myself as I gathered them up and went upstairs to put them on my bookshelf. Soon after I was called back downstairs to go through the processions of normal Christmas morning. We all opened out presents together and then settled down to eat a feast that Charles and I had prepared yesterday giving that the parentals weren't good at cooking.

Later on I was allowed to leave and went to see Alice. She was having a gathering and we were all heading round. That did mean I would be seeing Edward but I was casting that thought off to the side. Things were up in the air and after that revelation that he was my secret admirer and he didn't know I knew everything just got a little complex.

I was hoping that Alice wouldn't mention to him that I knew it was him. If she did then I'd just have to come out and admit that I'm a total bitch and wanted to ruin his life not that long ago. He'd hate me after that and any chance of a relationship would just disappear before my very eyes.

So no, I wasn't worried at all when I pulled up in front of Alice's house. All of their cars were there so I was the last one to arrive. The door was open and I knew they wouldn't mind me walking in so I did just that. Everyone was in the living room, sitting round laughing and chatting.

"Bella, Merry Christmas!" Alice called, jumping from Jasper's lap and over to me for a hug.

"Merry Christmas everyone." I said when the pixie let me go. Doing a quick scan of the room showed me that the only available seat was next to Edward; no doubt Alice had some elaborate plan in the making. It wouldn't be like that just by chance.

"So can we now open our presents?!" Emmett whined when I took a seat.

"Yeah, why not." I quickly handed all mine out and received a small pile from everyone.

We opened them all together and at the same time. It was apparently to stop us from reading other's reactions to the gifts and getting offended if they didn't like it, e.g. Rose and Emmett last year.

I received a pair of death traps, also known as high heels, from Alice, sexy lingerie from Rose, music from Emmett, a book from Jasper and Edward gave me a necklace. His gift blew me away, it was stunning. There was a simple diamond attached and knowing him it would be real, not a knock off.

Tears were forming in my eyes and I could see Edward watching me out the corner of his eye. He was trying to gauge my reaction. I loved it, I loved him and I hated myself. He'd regret buying me such a beautiful, expensive gift when he knows all about the horrible things I did to him.

Emmett and Jasper were talking to Edward about some game which gave Alice and Rose time to grab my wrist and pull me from the room. They said we were going to get food and drink but they both saw my near tears moment and wanted answers.

"Are you okay?" Rose whispered, hugging me.

"Yeah. I just…look what Edward bought me." I had it in my hand still and had no intention of letting it go, ever. They both were impressed with it and agreed that it was a definitely a real diamond. There's no way Edward would buy something crap for me, according to Alice.

I explained the situation, which was new to Rose and she was not happy being kept out of the loop. They both agreed that everything was messed up and they insisted that I must tell him soon. I didn't agree with that but didn't have the courage to act do it. That time would come, just not now.

We went back into the living room with food and drinks, Emmett happily helped himself to it, and we opted to watch a movie. The seating arrangements were still the same and that kinda made things weird for me. I wanted so much to cuddle up to Edward and just prey everything would work out but knew that was not what awaited me the day I told him the truth.

Half way through the movie Edward lightly touched my hand and got my attention but not getting the others. I looked subtly to him and heard him whisper in my ear.

"Do you not like the gift? I can change it if you don't." My heart leapt for him. Of course I loved it but my actions suggested that I hated it.

"I loved it. Thank you." As fast as I could I kissed him on the cheek. Alice's eyes caught mine after and she obviously saw.

"You're welcome." He kissed my knuckles and smiled. It was intimate again.

When the movie finished we all cleaned the place up and went to leave. It was a good day but it just enforced the fact that eventually my world would come crashing down.

_Edward's POV_

With Christmas out the way, next on the agenda was Alice's New Years Masquerade Ball. To many it was going to be the highlight of the holidays. To me that was going to be the start of Bella and I's relationship. Or at least that's what I hoped. She did need to figure out who I was in that time but maybe by then she would have.

Bella showed no sign of knowing I was her secret Admirer on Christmas day so I could only guess she was still trying to figure it out. If she was still struggling I'd ask Alice to go in and help her. She insisted on knowing all of the clues so I explained them and gave her permission, once I told her, to hint at Bella what they were.

I had my masks, one for Edward and the other for Secret Admirer. The latter mask was a whole face mask so Bella wouldn't be able to work out who I was. Since my hair is a very distinctive colour Alice said I should wear a wig. I wasn't so happy with that but knew I would anyway.

My proper mask was just for around the eyes and was gold, cream, blue and black with sheet music on it. The other mask was gold, red and black with a renaissance look to it. To play the part properly I also had two different suits. Secret Admirer Edward would be wearing all black. To be normal Edward again I just had to change my shirt and add a navy blue tie. It wasn't going to be a lot of hard work but it probably would be very stressful.

So that's what I had to look forward to tomorrow evening. I was excited by not exactly thrilled with what might go wrong. But for now I wasn't going to think about. I just had to prepare myself mentally and physically for the upheaval that was Alice's Masqueraded Ball. Quickly I settled into bed, with all my things laid out like a good boy, and let sleep overcome me.

When I woke up Alice was standing in my room, looking over the bed, grinning like an idiot.

"Can I help you?" I grumbled, rubbing my eyes.

"Yes you can. I'm here to check your outfits for tonight. I take it they're here." She casted her careful eye over them before turning back to me. "You have my seal of approval. Well done. Now I'm off, I've got others to attend to. See you tonight."

Once she left I got up, showered and grabbed myself some breakfast. Masen was in a total freak out as he had finally got himself a date with the girl he was crazy about. She agreed to be his date for tonight and he was to pick her up around nine o'clock. I on the other hand didn't have anyone to pick up. I was just to go by myself and meet everyone there. Alice said there was a back room off to the side for me to go unnoticed as there were three doors into it. One from the main ball room, another from the hallway and the last was upstairs by the balcony. It had its own small staircase leading down. Therefore I shouldn't really have problems with changing and going from Edward to Secret Admirer.

There was plenty of time to kill so headed over to Jasper's where he and Emmett were playing the Xbox together before getting ready. I joined them for a while and then went home for dinner. Esme insisted we have a good family meal and that could be our way of bringing in the New Year together. Not long after we finished I had to get ready. Although it was a New Year's party everyone was turning up around eight and nine for all the dancing, drinking and the debauchery that goes with one of these things.

I dressed in the black suit with the blue tie and white shirt, folding the black shirt up nicely and placing it in a bag I'd be taking. The next task was my hair and I wasn't looking forward to that. It was all the over the place but I eventually tamed it, slightly. Everything was good to go and Carlisle was going to drop me off at the ball before he headed in for his night shirt. Both my masks were in the bag along with my black shirt as I got in the car.

My palms were sweaty and I felt light headed. I was certain tonight was going to be the night that Bella and I got together. She must have known by now who her Secret Admirer was so hopefully the masks would come off, so to speak, and we could finally be ourselves with each other. That's what I wanted anyway. There was no way I was going to find out until later but with every cell in my body I wanted tonight to go well.

Stepping out the car was like throwing a bucket of cold water on me. I couldn't go back now. All my planning and careful actions were coming into play tonight. Bella and I were either going to sink or swim with the outcome at Midnight. I hoped it was the latter.

A.N.

Edward's two suits and masks on profile homepage.


	37. Chapter 37: Lifeless

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer_

**I Love To Hate You **

**Chapter Thirty Seven: Lifeless**

_Edward's POV_

The ballroom was packed to the full with people dancing, drinking, eating, laughing and just being merry. I only wished I had that feeling. Instead I was all over the place with my nervous and I was starting to feel a little queasy. Alice bounced over to the other side of the room and pulled me into a hug.

"Thank God you're here. I thought you weren't going to show."

"No, I wouldn't miss this." Alice smiled at me brightly and took me off in to the side room that was all prepared.

"Great." Once the door was shut she fixed my clothes a bit more and then checked my bag for everything. "Brilliant, you have everything. I brought you the wig I was talking about, here." She grabbed it off the table and showed me the blond wig.

"Thanks."

"Right, so all of its here for you when you change. You can lock the door and use another to exit. This desk locks so keep your other clothing in there in the meantime. That way if Bella comes in here she won't find your other shirt and mask."

"Alright, is she here?"

"Yep when I left her she was with Emmett and Rose." I nodded and quickly departed, putting on my original mask.

It only took several minutes but I found Bella. The dress gave her away; I could tell it was her figure from a mile off. Her mask did a good job of covering her up but with those luscious lips that I could never forget it was clear it was Bella.

"You look amazing." I whispered into her ear, startling her slightly.

"Thanks." I knew there would be a blush under her mask but obviously couldn't see it.

"Dance with me."

"I don't like to dance. You know that."

"I do but I don't care. Come on." I took her hand softly and led her to the floor.

She wrapped her arms round my neck as I put my hands on her waist. For some reason I needed to be closer so gently laid my head on her shoulder and lightly kissed her neck.

"You smell amazing." I whispered, not being able to filter my thoughts any longer. I just wanted and needed her.

"What's with you tonight? I thought we were giving each other time so I could sort some things out."

"We are but you look too good to stay away from and I've just noticed you're wearing the gift I gave you." The diamond necklace was round her neck.

"Yes well, I thought tonight would be a good occasion as any."

"It is and it looks beautiful on you."

"Again, thanks."

"May we continue dancing?" I asked, just realising we had stopped moving. Bella nodded and the dancing commenced.

Eventually I had to pull myself away from her. I had to do my rounds as secret admirer. I didn't intend to talk to Bella but at least this way she would most likely see me about and not think anything of it. I was just going to be another face in the crowd.

I departed and made my way into the side room. It was empty, thankfully, and I quickly changed my shirt and mask, applied the blond wig and made my way back to the ball.

No one really noticed me but I had made my way round the room several times. I didn't need to be seen by anyone particular, just seen. I upped the ante on myself by lightly brushing past Bella, apologising and walking away. She took nothing of it but had just had her first proper encounter with her secret admirer.

I changed back after ten minutes and returned to my friends, not wanting to be seen as absent. Although I was aware Bella knew I'd prefer she didn't know I was changing between Edward and secret admirer. It was better to keep the act going until the last minute.

And that's exactly what I did.

At five to midnight I changed into the black shirt and put on the all face mask. This time I ditched the wig. It would just get in the way. Despite that little discrepancy I returned to the room. With one minute to go I stood about three feet behind Bella as she surveyed the room.

"Looking for anyone in particular?" I asked quietly in her ear. She froze at the sound of my voice and turned.

Bella frowned at me, noting the differences and then gave me a bemused smile. Other party goers around us began the countdown as we stood facing each other. Neither of us making a move.

With five seconds to go I leant in, lifted my mask up away from my lips and waited until it was exactly midnight.

Her lips met mine and my fate and heart were sealed as one. She had complete control over me no matter what and I knew living without her wouldn't be an option. She was my soul mate, other half, lover, whatever you want to call it. I was hers now and no one else's. She had my heart now.

_Bella's POV_

The kiss was amazing and somehow it was better than all the others we've shared simply because I knew now that my secret admirer was Edward. His lips felt better, he smelled better, tasted better and I loved him more now than I had before.

Too bad I had to be honest or that secret would eat me alive. I looked into his eyes after the kiss and began to take off his mask properly. He didn't stop me so I knew he was aware that I had worked out who he was.

He took it from my hand as I brought it back from his beautiful face and I was met with his gorgeous smile that would have made me jump him any other day. Instead I leaned up on my tiptoes, holding onto his shoulder for support.

"I was the one who tried to destroy your life." I whispered into his ear. Edward cocked his head to the side and tensed.

"What?"

"I know you heard."

"Yes but I don't believe it."

"It's true. I did it all."

"Why?" He coughed out.

"I hated you and the way you treated everyone."

"So you thought you'd ruin me?"

"Yes."

"You're the most sadistic bitch I've ever met and that's really saying something. I broke hearts so you break mine. Is that how it is?" Before I could catch up with what he had just said he was off again. "You make me fall for you then crush my heart. All this time you have supposedly cared for me but really you just used me to get revenge or the cruellest kind."

"It wasn't like that-"

"Of course not because how could you know I was your secret admirer as well. Let me guess, if you knew you would never have done this?"

"Edward, I'm sorr-"

"NO! You don't get to say those words." He stormed away from me and shoved the doors open violently, gaining a few stares. I ran after him instantly and grabbed his arm in the parking lot.

"It wasn't like that Edward. When I realised how much I actually began to like you I stopped immediately. It may have been too late but I was trying to make up for what I had done. I was going to tell you-"

"Shut up! I don't want to hear anymore lies. Bella you used me. I fell so in love with you I would have done anything for us to be together. But this whole time you've been scheming and plotting my demise, slowly carving away at me so that when this came out it would be that much more painful. Well guess what? It worked. You gave me a taste of my own medicine, congratulations. I hope you're happy that I'm not."

He roughly pulled away so I grabbed him again only to be pushed back.

"Do. Not. Touch. Me." He growled.

"Hey! Don't talk to her that way!" Jake came running out, probably to see what the commotion was with everyone else. We had gathered quite an audience, all standing back carefully by the doors watching.

"Fuck off Jake; you have nothing to do with this." Edward said then darted across the lot.

"Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" Jake asked me frantically.

"No, I hurt him."

My knees buckled below me and hit the tarmac with a thump. The sobs were ripping through me, screaming to come out, so I let them. No one came near me and during some point of my breakdown Jake left. Alice came back with him and they both picked me up, not minding at all that I was a complete state.

Though who could blame me?

"Come on, we'll take you back to mine."

"Wait!" I heard Charles call as he came over. "Bella, you alright?"

"Does she look alright moron?" Jake churned. I didn't like the way he spoke to Charles so pushed him away, or at least attempted to.

"I'll take her from here. You came go."

"Boys, Bella needs to go so either one of you helps or give her to me." One of my arms was let go and replaced by another.

Charles and Alice took me to her car and lay me down in the back. My sobs had stopped but the tears continued to roll down my cheeks and onto the black leather in Alice's Porsche. I wanted to stop crying but couldn't find the strength to. It was all messed up.

The engine roared to life and Alice drove away from her own party. Guilt hit me again but for a different reason. I sat up quickly and tried to make myself a little presentable.

"Alice go back to your party, I'll be fine." She snorted and shook her head.

"Bella, I don't care about the party. I care about you and right now you need me. Try and sleep, okay?" I sniffed and nodded, lying back down but not before catching a worried glance from Charles who had stayed silent in the front seat.

I wished for sleep to come. It should have been easy too, what with the gently purr of the engine and darkness around me. Instead it was impossible but only because every time I shut my eyes I pictured _his _face torn in pain and anger. That brought the tears back up and curled into a ball, slowly rocking myself back and forth.

We pulled up at Alice's house and they escorted me inside and straight to her bedroom. Charles whispered a few things to Alice before hugging her and leaving. I wanted to know what he said but couldn't stop the tears long enough to do so.

"Take one of these and drink this." Alice placed a tablet and glass of water on the bedside table then went into the bathroom. I did as she asked and felt the familiar droop of my eyelids. Sleep would overcome me soon but it would be filled with nightmares of earlier rather than the dreams of Edward and I being a couple.

And right enough I was swamped with images of Edward yelling at me in anger when I told him the truth, our first time together at his house, consoling him when my plans became too much and he collapsed in tears, him pitching up in my dining room in those silk red boxers, arguing with him in the school parking lot over those bloody secret admirer badges, giving him a wax late at night, and being in his room the morning I took his pictures while he was cuffed to the bed naked- the day it all started.

Soon after I awoke to voices but rather than open my eyes and let them know I was conscious I kept them shut so I could listen.

"How is she?" Charles asked, worry edging in his voice.

"Same as earlier. I gave her a sleeping tablet. It seemed like the best thing to do. She was all over the place and I couldn't watch her like that."

"Has she slept well?"

"Not really." Alice sighed. "She was crying to begin with and then it changed, she changed. She was yelling at Edward but about things that happened ages ago and then laughing which became crying. I think she's just broken now."

"What do we do?"

"Nothing. We can't do anything. No matter what we say it's not what she's going to want to hear. The only one who can maybe bring her back is Edward and I doubt he'll come near her anytime soon."

"Rat bastard. I should go and kick his fuc-"

"Charles, that won't help."

"Then what will? She's my sister. I can't just stand by and see her in all this pain and because of what? A guy."

"Not just any guy, Edward."

"Is that meant to mean something to me?"

"No but it does to her. She loves him and tonight he threw her love back at her but he doesn't know it. Right now he's probably thinking he's the victim in all this when in fact they both are. She's sorry she hurt him and still loves him like crazy. He on the other hand thinks she was trying to get him to fall in love with her so she could break his heart. He does love her, deep down, but it's now covered by fifty feed of venom and hatred."

"What do you think she'll do?"

"I have no idea. If she wants Edward back though it'll have to be something out of this world. He won't forgive quickly."

"This is screwed up."

"Yep." The both of them sighed and then left the room, closing the door behind them.

I rolled over and squeezed my eyes shut tight. I didn't want the tears back. I wanted to sleep again, just so I could remember some of the happy times we shared together. To prove to me that our whole relationship wasn't all hatred and maybe there was something I could think of that might be able to get me out of this mess.

_

* * *

_

Masen's POV

Edward had become a grumpy bastard since he found out about Bella and her little plot to ruin his life. To be honest I applaud Bella for what she did, it was pure genius to watch him suffer and he did deserve most of it as he was a total dickweed.

Anyway I was sent into his room to get him up out of bed. We may be on holidays still but that doesn't mean he can just lie around all day. He should do something productive with his time even if he's suffering a broken heart.

"Edward, get up." I called in the hall before entering to see him awake but lying on his stomach, eyes glazed over and watching the wall. "Come on, you need to get up."

"No I don't, now piss off." He grunted, rubbing his face rather roughly.

"You have to stop moping around, just get up before mum starts to worry."

"Who cares?"

"I do. Stop being such a jackass and get the fuck up! Mum shouldn't have to worry about you because your head's up your arse."

"Masen fuck off! You know nothing about it." He turned over so he was facing away from me.

"I know enough. I know that you were a complete wanker and she hated you so went out to hurt you. Guess what, it worked. But along the way she saw how bad it was for you and stopped-"

"But did she?!" He yelled, sitting up now in the bed. "This could have all been a game to break my heart, the ultimate payback."

"Bella wouldn't do that."

"She's a vindictive whore, of course she would!"

I saw red and lunged at him. My fist connected with his jaw before I knew what had actually happened. He grunted on impact then hit me back, getting me in the eye. It would be black by this afternoon. That wasn't my concern right now though, beating the shit out of my brother was.

The scuffle only lasted a few minutes but by the end of it Edward had a split lip, red mark on his jaw from the first punch thrown, a cut by his eyebrow and there's bound to be more bruising on his face tomorrow. I could feel what would be a colossal bruise round my right eye forming and could taste blood in my mouth from my lips.

"You're not the victim in this. You just threw away the girl of your dreams over a misunderstanding. Grow some balls and talk to her. She'll explain everything." I called, slamming the door shut behind me.

I wasn't going to hang around that twat if he was going to be rude about Bella. He may not realise how special she is but I do. I would have thought by now that he would have known Bella better than to assume she had no feelings for him. I knew and I wasn't even in their goddamn relationship.

There was no way I was going to hang around the house so quickly left and went to Charles' house.

"Whoa, what happened to your face?" He asked the second he opened the door.

"I got in a little argument with Edward." He opened it wider and let me step in.

"About Bella?" The frown was on his face almost instantly.

"Yeah."

"What did he say?"

"It doesn't matter Charles. I dealt with it." We walked in to the living room and sat down.

"Thanks. You didn't have to."

"No problem."

"But he was being a dick?" Charles handed me the controllers for the Xbox and set up the game.

"Oh yeah."

"Good. At least I know he got a little of what he deserved."

"Definitely."

"You know Bella's going to freak when she sees you. She'll automatically know something's happened between the two of you."

"Well I'll just have to handle that when it happens. Let's not think about this, it's not really our mess. Come on, let's just play."

"Alright but just tell me one thing."

"Shoot." I was done talking abou this but he was obviously still interested.

"Does he look worse than you?"

"Absolutely."

"Good."

Not long after Bella came in and then the fun really began. For starters she looked dreadful, much worse than Edward, minus the physical marks on him. Her eyes seemed hollow and lifeless; she was pale white and looked rather unhealthy.

"Hey." I greeted, pausing the game and giving her a hug. Her fingers lightly brushed my bruises and lips and she shook her head.

"Don't fight because of me."

"How'd you know it's because of you? I could have been beaten to a pulp by some boyfriend I pissed off."

"True but then Charles would be beaten too. You guys stick together for those things. This was a personal fight." I nodded and she sighed.

"I don't like you two fighting. You shouldn't have done that."

"I know but I had to."

"Why?" She took my hand and led me back to the couch.

"He wasn't being nice."

"About me, right?" Although I didn't want to admit it you could tell anyway.

"Yeah."

"Well thank you Masen, for standing up for me."

"No bother. You did nothing wrong." She laughed humourlessly and slouched back into the pillows, like she was trying to bury herself away.

"I tried to ruin his life and I did nothing wrong? Not true."

"No Bella, you stopped that and I know you didn't set out to break his heart as some sort of plot for revenge. You're not that cold."

"I didn't mean for it to come out that way." The tears were building in her eyes and I couldn't watch them fall, it hurt too much.

"I know. We'll get this sorted, okay? Sooner or later things will be patched up as good as new."

"I doubt that." She muttered.

"Trust me."

"I do."

If Edward wouldn't hear Bella out then I'd have to tell him myself. I couldn't just stand by and watch both of them live miserably because of the other. They do have problems that need to be worked out but for now they just need to be on speaking terms for that to happen.

Whether they liked it or not I was going to get involved and help them. I don't think Bella would have a problem with this but I know for a fact Edward would.


	38. Chapter 38: Intervening

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer_

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Thirty Eight: Intervening **

_Edward's POV_

I shouldn't have hit Masen even after he hit me first. We were never brothers who fought with each other and I didn't like that we had started. I would have to apologise but a part of me then had to admit that I was wrong about calling Bella a vindictive whore.

Okay so maybe she's not a whore but she is vindictive. I will stand my ground there. Regardless, I still had to make amends despite the fact that we wouldn't see eye to eye on this issue.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" I asked, standing in the doorway to Masen's bedroom.

"Yeah I guess." He swivelled his chair round to see me.

The bruising on his face was more obvious but as were mine and after our scuff I came out looking worse than him. I'd like to put that down to me holding back as he's family but I knew it was only because he could actually kick my ass even though he was the younger brother. For me, it was embarrassing.

"I'm sorry for lashing out at you and-" I waved my hand, indicating to his face. "-you know."

"I don't care about you lashing out at me, I care about Bella. Are you sorry you called her a whore? The both of us know she's not one." I was a little relieved he never brought up the vindictive comment.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that too. I was just pissed off, I still am but that's no excuse."

"So you're looking for forgiveness?"

"Sure." Masen knew how much I hated saying sorry. He chuckled and shook his head. "Since I know what kind of mood you're in I won't tell you that you'll have to do better than that. I forgive you but now you need to forgive Bella."

"No." My tone changed immediately and I was gritting my teeth. "Absolutely not." I went to walk away but Masen yelled for me to just listen.

"I know you don't want to but please, just listen." He nodded at the bed so I sat down. "Now don't talk until I'm finished, no matter what I say."

"Alright, alright. Will you just start?!" Masen rolled his eyes but did finally begin.

"I'm aware of what happened between the two of you and I'm aware of almost everything. From the time you guys were getting even to her destroying you while you tried to win her over, I know it all. I read the letters and if you read them after everything that's happened there's a tiny little thing that pops up. You mention forgiving her if she was ever to do something horrible as that's how much you care for her."

I knew exactly what he was talking about. Bella had said she'd done something awful and someone wasn't going to ever talk to her again. Hell we even spoke about me being pissed off at the person who tried to ruin me and she never said a thing, just took it all in and knew what to expect.

"Obviously no one expects you to instantly forgive her but now you know she's been worried about this for a very long time. It's not like Bella was getting cheap thrills, she felt like shit after it all. So I know you think that she's been trying to have the ultimate payback by getting you to fall for her but that's not the case. She loves you Edward. I've seen it myself to know that."

"I know you love her too. Deep down I think she does too as there's sometimes a glimmer of hope but that goes and comes. You may not want to but you should talk to her or at least think over everything. Remember who she is, Bella, the girl you've been infatuated with since we were small. Don't forget the good qualities just because lately you've seen some of the bad ones."

"Are we done?" I brain was reeling and I wanted to lie down.

"Sure." Masen shrugged and turned his chair so he was back at his laptop, no longer interested with my presence.

I left the room and went back to mine. He told me several things I already knew but there were some surprises in aswell. It was becoming more and more apparent that I would have to talk to Bella but I didn't want to, not yet.

There was going to be plenty time to speak to her but I did have to keep in mind that the longer I left it the longer she's had to stew with her feelings and possibly decide not to forgive me for losing my temper at her.

It seemed like we both had something to apologise for.

Well I wouldn't be apologising today so I may as well get comfy. I settled down on my bed and started on some of the work I had to do before going back to school which was sooner than I'd like.

Things would get sorted, eventually.

_Alice's POV_

Bella had been moping for days and was sour about everything. I was snapping her out of it before school started up again tomorrow. There was no way I wanted her depressing attitude around much longer.

So after my day out with Jazz, who I was 100 percent in love with, I stopped at her house. Charles let me in and gave me the run down. She was doing everything normal, showering, dressing, eating etc. but she lacked her personality and was apparently a complete shell of what she use to be.

I had to see for myself so made my way up the stairs to her bedroom, taking two and a time, and hurriedly threw her door open. Bella spun round, startled by my entrance, and then visibly relaxed when she saw it was me.

"Geez Alice, dramatic much?" She rolled her eyes and although her comment wasn't very welcoming it still had a little bit of Bella's edge to it. That gave me some hope that my friend hadn't disappeared completely.

"I'm sorry. I just had to see how you were." Again she rolled her eyes.

"No one died Alice. I'm fine."

"Actually you're wrong on both counts there." I stated, sitting cross legged on her bed. "My best friend Bella who never let a guy get her down died and you're also not fine. I know you're not so don't lie to me."

Bella sighed and her attitude changed drastically. Before she was angry and sad Bella, now she was vulnerable and tearful Bella and for once I didn't know how to handle this.

"I…don't know what to do and all I want to do is go to him and apologise for being an idiot." The tears were silently running down her cheeks.

"Hey, this isn't how we handle this. Rather than cry and bawl over our lost loves we either get even or find a way to make it up to them for really screwing up. Now, since getting even was what got us in this mess in the first place I say we go for the second option." She nodded glumly and wiped her eyes with a tissue.

"I think I can do that but how?" I pursed my lips in thought.

"I'm not sure but I'll think of something. Plus I'm not doing this alone."

"Who's helping you?"

"Masen." Bella blanched at me and shook her head.

"I have no hope." She said.

"That's not true. He's our inside man and has instant access to Edward. He can convince him to talk to you. We need to Masen."

"If you're sure." She said, unconvinced.

"Oh I am. Now school is tomorrow and I want you to go with the I'm-really-sorry-but-also-gorgeous-look. That's what we're going to for so let's get your clothes that'll pull that off." I raided her wardrobe and brought out the appropriate things. "This will all do nicely."

Bell glanced over my choices and nodded before dropping herself onto her bed. I could tell she wasn't interested but that was understandable. To Bella the chances of Edward forgiving her were very slim and almost nonexistent.

I had more hope though.

"Right my work seems to be done. I'll be on my way. Don't mope too much." I hugged her and then left.

My next stop was Edward's house. Masen had sent me a text telling me that he had spoken with Edward a few days ago and that he seemed to have warmed to the idea of talking to Bella. I just hoped that was true.

Edward answered the door and shot me a confused look before opening it wider for me to step in. I did so, smiling at him cheerfully and made my way upstairs to his room.

"Make yourself at home." He muttered, walking up behind me.

"Oh I will, don't you worry. Now school starts tomorrow and I'm disappointed that you never got around to speaking to Bella over the rest of the holidays."

"What did you expect me to do?" Edward shrugged and planted himself on his bed.

"I expected you to hear her out. She was a royal mess for about six days before I could get her to cheer up."

"Ooh only six days, how awful." He rolled his eyes.

"Don't be a snippety little git Edward. I'm doing you a favour."

"Oh really, and what's that?"

"I'm trying to get you back together with the girl you love." I said, crossing my arms in annoyance at his attitude.

"Who says I love her anymore?"

"I say you still love her."

"And what if I don't? What if I finally realised that the sun doesn't shine out of Bella's ass and that she's actually just another annoying girl who thinks she can get away with everything she does?"

"Well if that's the case you can rot in hell Edward." I stormed towards the door.

"Alice, wait!" He was up on his feet when I turned to him.

"Yes?"

"I do still love her, you're right. I'm just angry and that's the only reason I haven't gone to see her. I would lose my temper and then we would be back at square one. It would be better if we moved forward, not backwards." He said with so much conviction in his voice.

"To be honest Edward I don't think you two could go any further backwards. About your temper, that's not an issue. The minute Bella sees you she'll expect a fight so why not give her one if that's how you really feel. Tell her why you're so angry and explain everything so it's all out in the open. That's the only way things will improve and you two have a chance of survival."

"What if she doesn't want me back?" Edward asked, sound so much like the scared little boy I knew in the sandpit oh so many years ago.

"She does. It's breaking her heart to think that you hate her."

"I don't hate her. I'm fucking pissed at her but I don't hate her, not anymore."

"Well that's good, you two have already made some improvements and she doesn't even know." I smiled at him, trying to be reassuring but he still seemed unconvinced.

"What makes you think that we're meant to be together? What's there to say that this shouldn't be the end of us?"

"Could you live without her Edward?" I asked, stunning him momentarily.

"No I don't think I could."

"Then there's your answer." He nodded and slumped onto the bed. "Don't stop fighting for her, she hasn't for you."

I kissed his cheek then left. My job seemed to be done for now. The both of them were thinking things over, considering talking and knew how they felt about the other. That's all that I needed to make this work.

Granted five days ago I would never have thought they would stand a chance of getting through this but they pleasantly surprised me. Tomorrow would be the first time they've seen each other since that night and I know that the day will be filled with awkward silences and tension in the air. But I was hoping that they would be reminded of the good times and want them back.

After all they just had to talk to each other to for the misery to go away. How hard would that be?


	39. Chapter 39: Time To Think

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer_

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Thirty Nine: Time To Think**

_Bella's POV_

Just like Alice told me, I dressed in the clothes laid out. With each garment I added I felt sicker and sicker. It was all nerves but that didn't stop me from feeling like any minute I would vomit. Once dressed I made an attempt to eat but only managed a small bit of orange juice and two bites of toast.

Today wasn't going to go well, I just knew it. I was gearing myself up for the public screaming matches, the many tears I knew would fall and the pained looks from all our friends. Apparently Rose and Alice didn't trust me to drive myself so came by to pick me up. Like usual Charles was making his own way to school but before I left he pulled me aside to talk.

"If you need me at all throughout the day just come and get me, claim that there's a family emergency and we can get out of there. If he says something you don't like, tell Alice, Rose, Jasper, Emmett, Masen or myself. You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to. We're here for you and understand that this day won't be an easy one." With that he wrapped his arms round me and hugged me tightly. Afterwards he nodded and gave me a little push for the door.

Alice was driving today since her yellow Porsche was sitting idly in my drive. I clambered into the backseat silently before they drove off. Every so often Rose would send me apologetic looks in the mirror which were followed by Alice looking at Rose meaningfully. They were basically talking through their eyes and I wasn't involved. But that was okay seeing as I preferred the silence. It gave me some much needed time to think clearly.

When we pulled up and I got out a lot of people looked at me then over the lot. I knew he must have been standing there but I wasn't sure whether I wanted to look or not. Alice put her arm round me and began walking confidently, meaning I had to start moving too.

With a push of confidence I look to him and was hit with the emotions I knew would surface. He stood next to his car with Jasper and Emmett. They were making all the conversation as he stood by; looking like he was listening when in fact he was off in space, not paying attention to anything going on around him. It was if he knew I was staring.

Edward looked over and his eyes met mine. There were dark purple marks under his eyes from lack of sleep and he still held some of the bruising from Masen and his scuffle. There was so much pain and anger in his eyes that I didn't know if I should feel sorry for him or pissed that he hadn't let me explain myself and instead jumped to the wrong conclusions.

All our friends were watching us intently, along with much of the student body in the car park. Alice kept me walking and we ended up inside and by my locker before I had fully registered what was happening. One part of me wanted to run up to Edward and hold him to me tightly while the other, more dominant part wanted to scream at him. Instead I opted for just staying still and quiet.

I tried to take my mind off of what was going on and began to root around my locker for the correct books. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward walk up with Jasper and go to his locker which was a few down from mine.

We both were looking at each other and I wanted to say something but I didn't know what. Edward opened his mouth but then shut it again and swallowed, shaking his head. It was awkward and uncomfortable. Alice and Jasper were just looking between us before Alice spoke up.

"Alright I think you guys need to talk but you should maybe do it in private. I suggest that the four of us go for a drive to somewhere private and talk it out. You two might need witnesses knowing your tempers. So does that sound good?"

I nodded, watching Edward's reaction. He gave Jasper a look then agreed, no words spoken. That seemed to seal the situation so I got my things together and left for first lesson, which I had with Alice.

"You're doing good." She said, sitting down next to me.

"What makes you think that?"

"You didn't scream bloody murder at him or burst into tears. Those were my biggest fears." I rolled my eyes at her.

"I would never break down in front of him and I wouldn't embarrass myself in front of the whole student body."

"Well I wasn't aware of that."

"What's happening after school?" Both Jasper and her seemed kinda secretive about all of it.

"Jasper and I are taking you and Edward away from all the distractions and other people. You two will talk out your differences, or possibly yell them out if you want to. We're taking you both somewhere private where you can't run away from your problems. We all want this fixed and today is the day that's going to happen. It's all gone on too long."

I knew they meant well but I didn't like that we wouldn't be able to leave if it all became too much. At one point I'd probably want to escape and that was being cut off. Regardless of my thoughts on the situation if I had a chance to patch things up with Edward I'd take it.

_Edward's POV_

It was much harder seeing her than I thought it would be.

Bella looked as amazing as she always did but there was so much sadness in her eyes and I knew that was there because of me. If we had been alone in the car park I most likely would have begged for her forgiveness. So in one way I'm glad we were practically surrounded by other students. It would have been too embarrassing to recover from that.

The whole day was an endless pit of tension, awkwardness and anxiety. Like I predicted, no one knew what to say at lunch. Because we were all friends at one point the six of us sat together at lunch.

Emmett and Rose made idle chatter about nothing really exciting as Jasper tried to get me to talk and Alice was doing the same with Bella. We weren't having none of it and stayed silent. Eventually they gave up on us and just spoke to each other, which had us relieved.

For some reason I couldn't stop glancing at my watch throughout the day. It was getting close and closer to the end of school and a part of me dreaded what was to come but the other part of me relished it.

We were finally going to talk and although I could have done this during the holidays it wouldn't have been the same. Jasper and Alice's input was going to be crucial. For starters we were going out to the middle of nowhere, not giving Bella or I the chance to run away. That would come in handy.

Occasionally I can hit a problem head on but Bella doesn't like to do that. Over the years she's padded around the problems and only confronted them when forced, kind of like what was going to happen later.

Once the last bell rang the four of us went to Jasper's car. He was going to be driving us out there and then drive us all back to get our own vehicles. Depending on the outcome, that ride back could be hellish.

We got out the car and all shut the doors behind us with a collective slam. There was no one around, not that I expected there to be since we were in the middle of a wooded field on the outskirts of the city. There really was nowhere to escape out here, not unless we wanted to hitch a ride back to town.

Alice talked quietly to Jasper before facing us and leaning her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms round her, holding her tight to him and rested his head on her shoulder. Bella and I just looked on.

"We're going to stand here and will only interfere if we think we need to. In other words, no violence in anyway."

"I wouldn't hit her." I said rather defensively, not liking that they thought I was that much of a monster.

"The warning isn't just for you Edward, it's for Bella too. I think if she got angry enough she would hit you and then its fair game so we don't want that happening. Now, you should talk to each other."

"I don't know where to start." I admitted after a minute of silence.

"Alright-" Alice began. "-How do you feel Edward about Bella's plot to ruin you."

"I'm pissed."

"Don't tell me, tell Bella." I turned and looked at her for the first time since we got out the car and her entire stance had changed.

At school she seemed worried and a little down but right now she looked geared up for a fight. Well good, cause I wanted one.

"Why? Why did you decide to hurt me?"

"You were an asshole to Angela. She really liked you." I laughed humourlessly and shook my head.

"Angela? All this was about Angela. Christ Bella that had nothing to do with you!"

"Yes it did." She argued back. "She's my friend and you hurt her."

"So, that never mattered with all the other girls that were your friends. And what about my friends that you teased along? What about them?!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on, don't play innocent with me. It won't work. Loads of guys have tried helplessly for years just for a single look from you, the ice queen but no; you never gave any of them a chance. You dated Jacob and maybe had an odd something with someone else but for the ones that actually cared about you, they were ignored completely. And I was one of them!"

"I never knew that!" Her eyes were shooting daggers at me.

"How could you not?! I did everything to please you. I learned the piano when you thought musicians were romantic, I cut my hair when you said you never liked it, I studied my ass of so you never thought I was some stupid jerk, I always treated you with the upmost respect and where did it get me? Fucking nowhere!"

For a moment recognition flittered across her face but it was quickly changed.

"Why didn't you just ask me out? I would have said yes."

"Would you hell! And I recall asking you out plenty of times, every one of them was met with a definitive no."

"Well what did you expect? You acted all nice and then rude. We've had this argument before!" She sighed. "Now I have a question for you? Why didn't you confess you were my secret admirer when we were together, not as a couple but just physically?"

"Because I needed to know that you actually cared and weren't going to make it one big joke and break my heart but it turns out that didn't matter. The only reason you were with me physically was to make me fall in love with you, which I had, and then break my heart for revenge!"

Just talking about it made my heart ache in pain. She had been so much to me and all of it had crumbled instantly. What a way to start New Years off.

"I would never do that! Did you not think that I perhaps had constricting feelings? On one hand I was falling in love with you but on the other there was something about my secret admirer that I just had to know more about. I didn't want to have to pick between them."

"So why tell me the way you did? Why, after all I had done, did you confess to me then?"

"Because I wanted to be with you and there shouldn't be any secrets." Her voice had changed. Mine was still angry but hers was rippled with sadness.

"Edward I fell hard for you, harder than I thought possible and when you removed your mask I freaked. My secret admirer was my lover and that seemed too good to be true. Then there was this nagging feeling that I hadn't been honest with you. I panicked and it slipped out before I had a chance."

"Well here's your chance now."

"I hurt you because you hurt all those other girls. At the time it was just to take you down a few notches and show you that others could hurt you as much as you hurt them. I did a little digging, found your dirty laundry and aired them in front of everyone. Some of it came out by accident as several others were involved and it all became too much for me to stop by the end. I didn't want to hurt you anymore because a part of me realised I was just as bad as you, if not worse, and that you were actually a really great guy."

"Then why the cryptic talks about me forgiving whoever was out to hurt me? Was that your way of easing your conscience?"

"No! I wanted to calm you down about it all so when I did tell you, you were aware of how bad and guilty I felt. Though that never worked, every time I mentioned it you got angrier and angrier so I kept pushing it back."

"And that's my fault?!" It seemed like every bad thing she did was my fault.

"No Edward! Of course it wasn't your fault. I was a coward and couldn't stand you turning round, saying you hated me but in the end that's what you did." She called exasperated by everything. "Do you think I wanted to hurt you like that, after I had fallen for you? Cause I never."

"I don't know what you wanted Bella, you never told me. I specifically told you what I wanted, for us to be together but you pushed me away!" My ego was wounded from that.

"Well here I am now Edward. I want to be with you and I know it's not going to be easy but I want the challenge because for fuck sack I'm crazy about you and that won't change. The balls in your court now, make the decision."

She had rendered me speechless. I didn't think that she would put it out like that so clearly. I expected more arguing and some grovelling but definitely not a quick make up with time to smooth out the creases of our relationship later.

"I need time to think." That's all I could say before walking out towards the trees.

Forgiving her would be the easy part in all this. Actually making the relationship work would be tricky and for once, I'm not sure I want that battle with Bella.


	40. Chapter 40: Wanted

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer_

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Forty: Wanted**

_Bella's POV_

Edward stormed off, leaving me with Alice and Jasper. They both gave me apologetic looks, knowing that this situation didn't seem good.

I obviously didn't think everything would run smoothly but definitely wasn't expecting him to walk off. I thought I would be the one to run away when things because tough, not Edward. There was still a lot to talk about with him but now didn't seem like the ideal time.

Standing around seemed pointless so planted myself down on the grass, crossing my legs. There was a slight chill but not enough to make me want to go back to the car for a seat. I'd rather stay in plain sight of where Edward walked away so I knew when he came back immediately.

Alice and Jasper came over and sat down with me. The each sat on different sides of me, and wrapped an arm over my shoulders in comfort. I loved them both for this, just being there when I needed them.

"I don't know what to do." I confessed.

"Everything will be alright Bella. You just need to give him time." Alice said, rubbing my back.

"How much time can he have, it'll get dark out?" Jasper chuckled and shook his head as Alice answered.

"No I mean in the long run."

"He won't want me back, ever." Or at least it didn't seem that way now.

"I wouldn't be so sure. He's still in his angry stage where he's coming to terms with what happened to him, we don't want to push him here." Jasper said, showing me that he was willing to help me in this situation even when he was closer friends with Edward.

"I'm not trying to push him. I just want him to tell me that there's hope for us in the future. That at some point he'll be able to look past it all and finally love me like I love him."

Alice and Jasper both looked at each other, sending a message with their eyes. I ignored their antics and played with the grass below me, trying to take my mind off of the one guy I truly loved deciding if I was worth the hassle.

"What if this all goes wrong? What'll happen at school or when we're around each other? I don't think I could face him if he-"

"Bella, you need to relax. The jury's out, just wait for the verdict. All this worrying isn't going to do you any good. We'll cross those bridges when we get to them. Okay?" Alice asked.

I nodded but I wasn't okay, not one little bit. Who would be in this situation?

We stayed sitting there. I slumped back against to lie down bur Jasper leant me his shoulder to lean against as Alice held my hand. They could clearly tell this was torture for me, waiting on him, so were doing everything possible to calm me.

I don't know how long we sat like that in silence but eventually we heard Edward's footsteps across the grass from out the trees. I looked up and every cell in my body was on alert and I had goose bumps.

To be honest I was terrified of what he was going to say. Terrified that this might be it.

It felt like I was going to vomit, which I really hoped wasn't going to happen. That would be so awful right now.

As he neared closer Jasper propped me up on my feet, I thanked him softly and stepped forward a little.

"Well?" I asked, looking at Edward hopefully.

"I don't want you anymore Bella. I can't keep this up."

"What?" I croaked, feeling like I had just been punched in the gut and the wind had been knocked out of me.

"Edward maybe you should-" Jasper began, coming to my rescue.

"No Jasper let me say this." Edward didn't take his eyes off of me and I knew he could see the tears forming. "I. Don't. Want. You. Anymore."

"I love you." That's all I could come out with. If he knew I loved him then maybe he'd reconsider. Maybe he'd see that there was something there for us and we could stand a chance.

"And? What is that meant to mean to me?" His words were harsh and venomous, slicing straight through my heart.

"I need to vomit." I muttered, emptying my stomach contents on the grass.

"Edward-" Alice started, no doubt trying to do what Jasper did a few moments ago.

"You two stay out of this." Edward barked, getting more irritated by their presence.

"No!" My pixie like best friend cried, getting pissed off.

"Guys, he's right. It's not your business so don't worry about it." I said, whipping my mouth and now feeling that much worse. I didn't want them to get involve because then they'd have to pick sides and I hated that.

The tears hadn't fallen yet but they were close, my body was holding in the sobs that were trying to break out with unbelievable force. But I couldn't break down in front of him, which meant I wouldn't be able to cry until I got home. When thinking of it like that, I don't think I'd make it.

He'd see me break down and how pathetic I was. That would be the reassurance he needed to know that he made the right decision by not being with me. He'd be thankful that he got away from such a pathetic, vindictive bitch.

"I'd like to go home now." Edward said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Walk." Jasper growled.

Both of them looked furious and like any moment one of them was going to throw the first punch. They were staring at each other before Edward shook his head in disapproval of Jasper's decision to get involved.

"Fine." Edward stormed off towards the road and took out his cell phone, no doubt to call someone to pick him up.

Once he was far away I collapsed, it was like New Year's Eve all over again. And I hated it.

I hated being this fucking pathetic and I hated myself for making the worst mistake of my life. But now I had to live with the consequences and they sucked.

"Come on Bells, let's get you home." Alice said, comforting me again. Just like last time.

Jasper scooped me up off the ground and carried me to the car, while I let the tears fall silently. He soothed me a little and made me feel a tiny bit better but still broken hearted from the finalised loss of the love of my life.

I no longer cared, about anything. He didn't want me and that was that. There wasn't anything I could do, so I may aswell just give up now. Dramatic? Yes but screw it, that's how I felt. Nothing could change it.

Not when I wasn't wanted.

_Edward's POV_

I called Emmett and he drove out and picked me up about twenty minutes after they left. I was fucking raging that Jasper picked sides in this. Couldn't he see how much I was hurting?

Apparently not, bastard.

Emmett was smart enough not to ask any questions, I thanked him when he dropped me of home and told him I'd see him later. I think he was aware of what happened but clearly wanted to stay out of it, smart move.

I went straight to my bedroom, ignoring Masen and Esme when I entered the house. The slam of my bedroom door was a sign to them that I didn't want to be disturbed, not when I was so pissed off.

Everything unravelled while I was thinking. One part of me wanted to forgive Bella and tell her that we'd work on our relationship. The other part was so full of rage that all other means seemed stupid and ridiculous.

Obviously my rage took over or I wouldn't have dismissed her like that. It hurt to say I didn't want her anymore but it was true…to some extent. I didn't want her grief. I didn't want the arguments and fights we would have over all this mess.

Instead I wanted the Bella I fell in love with, minus the bit where she was stabbing me in the back when we were apart.

Things were now murky though. Jasper had picked a side; Emmett would be next no matter what. Rose and Alice would stick with Bella so I'm sure Emmett would side with Rose as he wouldn't want to make her mad. Where did that leave me?

How could they think I was in the wrong?

I didn't get time to think of that answer as my bedroom door flew open to reveal a furious Masen, looking at me like he wanted to commit murder.

"You turned her away!"

"Hello Masen."I replied, not interested. He must have talked to Charles or hell, even Bella herself. I know how chummy they are together.

"You turned her away!" He cried again, boring me with this panto.

"Yes I did."

"Why? Do you know what I'd give-"

"Stick to someone your own age. Bella's not interested."It was a low dig but it was true. He liked her, a little too much and needed to back off.

"Screw you." He growled. So I did hit a nerve, good. "Why did you do it? Why did you break her heart like that?"

"Because she broke mine!" If we were really going to have this argument I was going to stick up for myself, no one else would.

"So, is this your chance to get payback?"

"No!"

"It sounds like it."

"Well it's not."

"Edward she loves you and is beating herself up over this. She apologised again and again, what more do you want?"I didn't know, but that answer wouldn't do.

"I want closure, that's what I want."

"Why would you want her out of your life?"

"Because we don't belong together. It would never work."

"That was your excuse for the last four years, get some new reasons." He's right, that was my excuse for the last four years but this time it was the truth.

"How about the fact that I hate her! Is that good enough?"

"You don't hate her Edward, you love her." It seemed like I loved to hate her, just like she loved to hate me as I recall. Maybe that was the only thing we had in common.

"No, no I don't."

"Yes you do. When are you going to realise that without her you are nothing?"

"Don't get melodramatic Masen." Now he was talking piss.

"I'm not, I'm being honest."

"Bullshit."

"Fine, don't believe me. You've picked the wrong side in this Edward and you'll soon see that what you did to her was worse."

"What did I do to her?!" How did I become the baddy here? They all seemed to think so and I wanted answers.

"You ripped out her heart when she was at her most vulnerable, telling you how she felt and hoping you'd feel the same way. The humiliation of that won't go away. You fucked up, so good luck."

I didn't need his luck. I was done with Bella for good. When would everyone realise that?


	41. Chapter 41: Forgiveness

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer_

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Forty One: Forgiveness **

_Bella's POV_

School was becoming my personal hell. Every school day I saw him. It was like living my worst nightmare again and again. It was getting harder to just go to class if he was going to be there.

In the classes though I at least had a chance to hide away from him. I could sit with my back to him or pretend he wasn't there. Unfortunately that was impossible today, in a mundane year lecture about god only knows what. I happened to be sitting next him.

I could sense every breathe and movement he made. My body was on alert, waiting for words that would slice me apart. It seemed an unlikely place for him to talk to me, during a lector, but I was still waiting for it to happen.

Alice was on my other side and had a hold of my hand. I didn't need her to hold my hand when he was around, it made me seem weak, but she was being a brilliant friend right now so I wasn't going to shun her away.

Her and Jasper had sided with me, or at least could see my side of things and Rose and Emmett were with Edward on this one. That surprised Alice and Jasper but to me it was reasonable after Emmett explained everything the day after everything fell apart.

"Hey sweet pea."

"Hey Em." I said, abandoning the books before me on the desk in the library.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." The sigh I gave afterwards wasn't convincing though.

"Don't lie to me Bells; you know it makes me sad."He pouted and sat down next to me. "Now what you thinking about?"

"Edward."

"Ah yes, Edward." He shook his head and hugged me with one arm.

"I take it you heard."

"I think everyone has."

"Well that's just great." I groaned. That's all I needed, people talking about how pathetic I was.

"Forget about everyone else. All that matters is you and Edward."

"Where do you stand in all of this? Do you think I'm in the wrong?"

"Yes I do." Em said, shrugging.

"Really? Even after I apologised."

"Yeah, I tried to tell you this would all backfire but you kinda didn't listen."

"What are you talking about?"

"The random notes you got in your locker about revenge. Those were from me." I certainly never expected that.

"But how did you know I was the one destroying Edward?"

"You seemed too happy about the steroid posters."

"That's because I was happy about them." Then, I'm definitely not happy about all that now.

"Exactly. For once I caught on before the others."

"Good for you."

"Look Bella, Edward is upset, you're upset, and it'll take time. He doesn't want you now, alright. So you move on. You gave him a chance and he turned it down, that doesn't mean you have to put everything on hold."

"I'm not ready to move on yet." I still loved him, which must mean I'm crazy.

"That's okay. Just don't dwell on it all. If Edward wants you back he'll have to beg."

"Don't be ridiculous, he won't want me back nor will he ever beg."

"I'll agree with you about the latter part but I think he'll want you back."

"So how do I prove to him now that being with me won't be like torture?"

"I'm not sure. I don't really think there's a way to do this."

"My point exactly. So what do I do?" I groaned putting my head in my hands.

"I have no idea. All I can say is forget about it for a while, stick a pin in it. It'll still be there when you come back to it so don't worry. You need to loosen up a bit; you're too tense and worried."Emmett hugged me quickly and left the library.

Later on that day I found out that Rose had agreed with Emmett on this one. They thought that Edward was cruel to me but figured he had the right to be angered at the moment. To be honest I was relieved someone would be standing by Edward in all of this.

He needed his friends and at the moment I don't think he thought Alice and Jasper counted anymore. They were still his friends but didn't agree with the way things went last time we spoke. For some strange reason I wanted to be Edward's friend at this moment, at that made no sense to me. I also wanted to be much more with him but he made it clear that was impossible. I don't think he'd let me anywhere near him given the chance.

However there was no escaping today. Not only were we sitting next to each other but we had to pair up. On Edward's other side Rose and Em had already partnered up and I knew Jasper and Alice would be together. So I carefully and slowly looked at him to see if he was annoyed by this predicament, which he was.

"Swap places with me." Alice said.

"No, it's alright. I'll be fine. I think we can work together and I don't want to draw attention to us." She nodded but clearly thought it would have been better had I worked with Jasper and she with Edward due to the current situation.

The guy at the front told us to talk to one another about relationships and what they meant. That was the icing on the cake. Of all the topics we could have talked about it had to be that one. The only one I didn't want to talk to Edward about.

"You should have swapped." Alice whispered over her shoulder.

"I know." Edward turned towards me but didn't look at me. He was looking straight over my shoulder as though I wasn't even there.

"Would you like to start?" Still no eye contact. If he kept this up I'd get pissed.

"No, I think you can."

"I'd rather not."

"Fine then. That's all you had to say." I sighed and thought for a minute. No matter what I said I'd be walking on egg shells so may as well go all out.

"Relationships aren't perfect, love isn't perfect but you learn to forgive those imperfections and move on." Edward finally looked at me and I wish he hadn't. He was glaring at me with the wrath of the devil in his eyes. Still, I thought he looked gorgeous.

"Do you think this is funny?"

"Was I laughing?"

"No but you were trying to be smart." He ran a hand through his hair while continuing to glare at me.

"No I wasn't, I was being honest."

"Really? That's not like you. Usually you lie through your teeth and stab people in the back."

"That's not true. I explained." When would he realise how sorry I was?

"Not good enough."

"Nothing ever is with you Edward."

"Yes well, that's just too bad."

"Who for because I seem to be the only one being punished for loving you?"

"It's not like that and you know it." No I bloody didn't!

"Do I? It certainly doesn't feel that way."

"I don't care."

"I know you don't and that's what hurts. I still care about you. I still lo-" Before I could finish he cut me off.

"Let's not do this again Bella. You've said what you needed to say the first time. I heard it and nothing's changed. I still don't want you and don't think I ever will, not after what you did."

"Don't you believe in second chances?"

"Yes but you don't get one."

"Double standards much?" I asked, a little angered by it all.

"Look, we've done this and I'm not doing it again. Let's just drop it." He growled, crossing his arms over his chest, accenting the muscles in his arms. Despite everything he's said I was still attracted to him and loved him.

"Alright, how did that go?" The speaker asked us all, receiving low grumbles in return. "Let's see what you came up with. You there, what's a relationship to you?" He was pointing at me and I wanted to crawl up and die. After having it out wit Edward I didn't need to add more humiliation to my day.

"Me?" Please let it be the person behind me he wants.

"Yes, what are your thoughts?"

"I…well I think that in a relationship there has to be forgiveness. People make mistakes and have regrets. There should be some understanding that everyone makes mistakes and at some point need a second chance. It may not all work out but at least you tried and gave it a chance. If it does work out then the relationship will become stronger as you know how much that person cares about you to forgive you." He nodded and then picked someone else in the crowd. By that point I had tuned out.

Alice gave my hand a tight squeeze along with a reassuring smile. Chancing a look at Edward, he was looking down at his lap, obviously not listening, much like the rest of us. I took a shot and from the looks of it, missed. He didn't care, like he said, twice, so I should move on, like Emmett said. If only it was that easy.

_Edward's POV_

She was trying her hardest to get me to forgive her but I kept up my chained armour. Bella equals bad. That's what I had to keep reminding myself. Us together again would be like Hiroshima and the atomic bomb coming together. There was so much anger on my side and too much love on hers that we could never be together properly no matter what my heart was telling me.

I found out from Rose that Bella was a wreck for about a day then she picked herself up but every now and then you could see the vulnerability in her eyes. When she looked at me earlier it was their and I hated knowing that I put it there. She used to be so strong and confident. Now she was shy and timid about things. I caused that, me, the idiot who broke her heart because he was scared about having his own broken.

Her message was clear when she spoke out after the speaker called upon her and I understood what she was trying to say. It was a little bit of guilt treatment but never the less it kind of worked. I felt like I was being unreasonable and maybe we should try as friends for a little while. If I could trust her as a friend then maybe I could trust her as a girlfriend. That all seemed far off though. I don't think I'm ready for that, not with all this bottled up anger that feels like it's just going to explode any minute.

When lunch came around I had found my target though and they were going to help me release it.

"Since when does Masen sit with Bella?" I asked Em and Rose.

They glanced over to see what I meant and saw my brother sitting next to Bella, too close for my liking and from the looks of things he was comforting her, playing with the ends of her hair. It was an intimate gesture that certainly didn't go unnoticed. Was he crazy? Was he actually doing what I thought he was? If he dared ask her out I'd kill him with my bare hands. I'm his brother for fuck sake. What happened to family loyalty? He clearly had thrown it out the window.

"Whoa, that's ballsy." Emmett said, shaking his head and laughing.

"Don't do anything stupid Edward. If you storm over there you'll just push them closer together." As much as I hated what Rose said it was true.

"I figured she'd move on but to your brother, that's just…well bloody crazy." Em looked over again, as though he didn't believe his eyes the first time.

They were still there though. It was no apparition. My brother was actually trying to get close to my…well I don't know what Bella could be classed as but whatever. She was practically my ex. He should know the rules. But I think he did and was purposely breaking them. It didn't matter; the minute we were home I was going to beat his ass for this.

Thankfully I didn't have to wait until we got home. I went over to the music department after lunch and there he was, by himself, reading one of the sign up boards. The bastard had been with her all lunch, walked her to class and kissed her on the cheek as he gave her hip a little squeez. To me he was one of those annoying dogs that won't stop humping your leg. That's just what he was doing to Bella and it made me sick.

I roughly grabbed him by his shirt collar and pushed him into the board, earning a grunt when contact was made. We were too out in the open so I dragged him backwards to a secluded music room and shoved him to the floor, locking the door behind me.

"What the fuck?! Oh Edward...wait what the hell is your problem?!" Masen cried, glaring at me and trying to get up again.

"You're my problem. What are you thinking?!"

"I'm thinking my brother's a dick." I kicked him back down onto the floor as I stood over him.

"That's not what I meant and you know it. What are you doing with Bella?"

"I'm being a friend."

"I think you're trying to be more than a friend Masen." He shrugged.

"So what? Maybe I am. If that's what she needs right now I'll be there."

"Could you be anymore pathetic?!" It was ridiculous to think I was related to this twat.

"Could you?! Come on Edward, you don't want her. I do."

"You can't have her." I growled, getting angrier by the second.

"Says who?"

"Me."

"And who are you to claim Bella? She can do what she want. When you casted her aside you gave up your right to care. So backoff." Masen stood up angrily and shoved me out the way. "Just because you screwed up and can't have her doesn't mean you can decide who else can."

He stormed from the room leaving me to my thoughts. I was jealous of him. Jealous of the fact he could touch her hair, kiss her cheek, put his hand on her hip, and I hated myself for it. I thought I was past this, past Bella. Now it seems like I'm stuck between telling her I still care and wanting to try again or walking away entirely and just letting her be with whoever she wants to be with.


	42. Chapter 42: Help From Sex God

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer_

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Forty Two: Help From Sex God**

_Edward's POV_

The following day at school, after my run in with Masen, was hellish. They were joined at the hip every chance they got and I hated knowing he was going to make a move on her eventually. The anger was brewing below the surface but I'd do my best to keep it controlled from now. Emmett could tell I was finding everything difficult as the day grew on and tried his best to keep me upbeat but it was hard. I just wanted to throttle my brother for his betrayal.

Lunch was what broke the dam when I noticed Bella and Masen were not at sitting with Jasper and Alice. In fact they weren't sitting in the lunch room at all. I scanned the whole place and they were gone. Emmett and Rose decided that since Bella wasn't there we could go over and sit with them. I tried to tell them when the shit hit the fan that we didn't need to split up into two groups; I would be civil to Bella when around her. They didn't want the hassle though.

"Hey, mind if we sit?" Rose asked while Emmett planted his tray next to Jasper and took a seat, not waiting on a reply.

"Of course not." Alice said, looking rather happy.

Rose and I sat down across from them and as Rose struck up a conversation with Alice I stayed quiet.

"Where's Bella?" Emmett asked, doing me a massive favour as that was exactly what I wanted to know but there was no way in hell I would ask. They would look too much into it.

"She and Masen went off somewhere." Jasper replied shrugging.

I wish I hadn't known because I made a tit of myself. Jasper answer and my blood boiled, whilst I was holding a carton of juice, which I crunched in my hand and burst it. Juice went all over my lap and shirt. Great, my brother's off screwing Bella while I'm here looking like I've pissed myself.

Alice and Rose started laughing at me, Em just chuckled and shook his head but it was Jasper's reaction that I hated most. He looked at me with pity. It was like he could feel the pain and anguish I got from knowing the two of them were together.

"You alright there Edward?" Alice asked, handing me a bunch of napkins.

"Yes, thanks."

"Do you want my juice?" She smiled at me like nothing had happened.

"No it's okay."

"It's yours if you want it."

"Can I have it?" Emmett asked, realising there was something on offer.

"No." Alice told him pointedly.

"Why not?"

"Because you have juice."

"So does Edward." He whined. "It's not my fault he put it all over himself because he's jealous of his brother tapping the girl he's in love with."

I practically growled at him as Rose smacked him round the head. He moaned and went back to his food, cutting out of the conversation.

"Was Emmett right?" I looked up and Alice was waiting. I didn't think we'd be talking about this. After all we hadn't been speaking as of this morning.

"I guess you could say that. I'm not jealous though. It's just not right what Masen's doing."

"I'm actually surprised by that too." She admitted.

"So you didn't set him up to do it?" I said icily. Jasper and her both shot me glares but she still answered.

"No Edward I did not set him up to do that. He seems to be doing it all on his own accord thank you very much. Shows how much faith you have in me."

"I lost all faith when you and Jasper picked a side. Was I not a good enough friend?"

"Edward, let's not do this." Jasper warned.

"No I think we should. You're entitled to your opinions but did I not deserve at least to be heard out. You both abandoned me like I was the plague and became Bella's defender."

"You shouldn't have turned her down like that. All you had to say was no, you were still angry and that you needed to be alone for some time. She would have got the message. There was no need for you to make it so crystal clear. You ripped out her heart."

"Stop being so dramatic." I shook my head, getting irritated by them.

"It's true. She's our friend, as are you, but right now we're annoyed with what you did. That wasn't fair. This time we need time."

"We?"

"Jasper and I."

"Does she speak for you now?" I asked Jasper who glared in return.

"On this matter, yes she does."

"And why's that?"

"Because I want to rip your throat out for what you did, it's better if she talks. It stops me from socking you in the jaw."

"Try it." Both of us had stood up and were staring each other down across the table.

"Guys, calm it." Rose ordered. Jasper sat back down when Alice tugged his shirt sleeve.

"I'm going to go. I'm sorry." I grabbed my tray and left. Every time I spoke to Jasper things ended badly. We were now like enemies rather than friends.

The day was going to be shit so I just skipped. I got in my car and drove away from school. My mind wasn't concentrating on the incident at lunch but more of Bella and Masen. I raced home, just wanting to get out of my wet clothes and crawl into bed.

I returned home irritated. The two of them were probably off frolicking together and doing God only knows what. That thought made me sour and angry. I stormed into the house after seeing Masen's car outside. They were here together and I was going to have to witness them all over each other. My mood was made much worse though when I headed up the stairs and heard moaning coming from behind his bedroom door.

It was very clear what they were doing in there and I was hit with waves of anger, jealousy and pure pain for the betrayal I felt. He was my brother and she...she was meant to still be in love with me. Was this some kind of way at getting back at me, screwing my brother? My breathing was ragged and I felt like a raging bull about to charge.

Instead of charging into Masen's room I went into my own and sat on the bed, their moans were echoing round the room and I was being drowned in it. Wave after wave kept coming at me, getting me angrier and angrier. I wanted to murder Masen and scream at Bella for this wicked torture. It soon all became too much and I needed to come up for air. I threw open Masen's bedroom door and went to confront them.

"What the hell?!" I cried, my eyes landing on my brother and her beneath the sheets.

"Edward get the fuck out of here!" Masen shouted, turning to me slightly and giving me a chance to see Bella's face in all this, expect it wasn't Bella. It was the girl Masen took to Alice's New Year's Party.

"Wait, who's that?" I asked, genuinely curious though now really wasn't the ideal time to ask.

"Get out!" They both yelled.

"Right, yes, sorry." I darted out, shut the door and then collapsed onto my own bed.

Relieve flooded me instantly. He wasn't screwing Bella, thank the lord. But why did I care so much? I thought I was done with Bella.

Apparently not if my emotions were anything to go on and that just confused me.

_Masen's POV_

"Hey, what you doing here?" I asked, walking up the drive after ditching during lunch.

"I heard you ditched and I wanted to come see my boyfriend alone, or am I not allowed?" Her tone told me enough.

"Of course you are." I fished my keys out my pocket and opened the door for her, shutting the door behind us. "Shall we talk down here or go upstairs?"

"Upstairs, I want to talk in private."

"Well this is private but we'll go upstairs just in case someone comes home early." I took her hand and led her up the stairs to my bedroom, hoping this wasn't the part where she broke up with me.

After shutting the door she was on me, attacking me with her lips and pulling at my shirt with her hands. The hormonal teenage boy took over and I let her have her wicked way with me for just a few minutes before I pulled back.

"What did I do to get that because I should do it more often?" She smirked at me and pushed me onto the bed.

"I hate seeing you with her." Carly admitted as she lay down next to me.

"We're just friends."

"I know but I hate it. You liked her, no sorry, you like her."

"As a friend. Please trust me when I say nothing's going to happen."

"I do trust you, just not her."

"Bella doesn't see me that way; she's in love with Edward. Unfortunately, right now he's convinced that he doesn't love her. I'm doing them both a favour and getting it through his thick skull that he does care for her."

"What if this doesn't work and she thinks that actually you're the better brother, the cuter brother, the smarter brother and the one she actually wants."

"That won't happen. Plus, what do you think I'm going to do, ditch you and run off into the sun with Bella?" Carly nodded softly. "Darlin' I could never do that."

"Masen I know you won't but I still think you might. Those doubts won't go away with you spending so much time with her."

"Are you jealous?"

"Yes." I chuckled and shook my head.

"You don't need to be. Bella is a friend and always will be. You are my girlfriend and I'm hoping that you'll stick around too."

"I plan on sticking around."

"Good." We were done talking and she was content for now, knowing that Bella would not be an issue. I kissed her softly, running my hands through her long blonde locks. We wouldn't be leaving this room now. There was rarely any time for us to be together so now we were here neither one of us was going to give it up.

For now all the worries about trying to get my idiot brother to come to his senses were out of my mind and I was concentrating solely on Carly and me just being.

Things began heating up but what neither of us was expecting was my brother to storm in the room right in the middle of us having sex. Thank the Lord we were under the sheets, I don't want my brother seeing my bare ass or any part of Carly whatsoever.

Edward eventually left but that put us in an awkward situation. She pushed me off of her, grabbed my t-shirt and her underwear then went straight to my bathroom. Brilliant, she was annoyed with me, probably for not locking the door.

I grabbed my boxers and went to find Edward. He was face down on the bed looking like a sorry sod. I could maybe talk to him later but this would be best if dealt with immediately.

"Edward?"

"Oh Masen, look I'm so sorry I didn't know."

"Don't lie Edward. You knew exactly what I was doing you just didn't know who I was doing." He sighed and a tiny blush crossed his cheeks. He obviously thought I was screwing Bella and wanted to break it up. I would be embarrassed about that too.

"I am sorry Masen but these last few days you've been joint at the hip with her and I thought you two were now an item."

"I would do that to you. You are my brother." He nodded and stood up. God he was so upset he pissed himself. My brother needs serious help.

"Well you implied that you were going to ask Bella out. So what was I meant to think?"

"No, I understand."

"Did you do this on purpose?"

"Yes." Edward frowned at me and his fist clenched. I'd probably deserve this punch.

"Why?"

"You needed to get your head out your arse. You love her so for fuck sake tell her!" I cried. It was driving me crazy. She was his so why was he pushing her away?

"She won't want to hear it."

"Yeah like I don't want to hear I'm a sex God." He rolled his eyes. "Of course she wants to hear it. Tell her!"

"Fine, I will!"

"Good. When?!"

"I don't know! Why are we still yelling?!" Both of us started laughing but I was very relieved to know he would tell her cause she definitely needed to hear it.

"Please fix this Edward, I hate seeing her like this."

"Me too but I hate knowing I caused it." He looked sullen and I felt awkward, needing to get out of there.

"Right, I think we're done." I went to walk away but turned back to give him some advice." Oh I think you should talk to mum if you're having trouble holding." I nodded to his pants.

"Oh shit...no I spilt juice on myself."

"Yeah yeah." That's what they all say.

"Piss off Masen."

"Alright but you're living in denial." I left him to change and went to coax Carly out the bathroom. Hopefully I could fix my mess now that he was fixing his.


	43. Chapter 43: Hit Me

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer_

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Forty Three: Hit Me**

_Edward's POV_

"_Tell her!"_

"_Fine, I will!"_

I said that seventeen days ago and still hadn't told her.

She was consuming my mind and body. Every minute I was awake I thought of her and every minute I was asleep I dreamt of her. She was my silent obsession that I fed off to survive.

For the last seventeen days I had been arguing with myself over the fights we shared. I analysed every word we said and thought of every possible reason Bella would have to do those things to me. I also replayed all the good times we had together and the day I gave myself over to her entirely.

Sex isn't a sacred thing to but I still wanted to give my virginity to someone special. Em and Jazz had hinted that I was all girly and acting like a pussy but I just didn't want my first time to be in some coat closet or the back seat of a car.

With everything that's happened us having sex is the one thing I absolutely do not regret. I had been fantasising about being with Bella for years so when it actually happened it was a godsend. I could remember every touch and sound from that afternoon. It assaulted my brain and made me crave her.

But I wasn't craving her for just sex. Granted, a lot of my feelings directed at her currently were ones of lust but when we were together intimately I felt like I could truly love her. Like that time together, just us, was what really mattered.

It didn't matter whether we were having sex or just lying there, I loved it all. And that's when it fell into place that I loved her. Despite what happened between us I still loved her and that made no sense.

After it all happened I was right to be angry and vengeful, which was why I tried to hurt her the best I could. However, right now I had to get my act together. I was focusing on all the bad things that happened in our relationship, like the arguing, fighting, tearing each other apart, the lies, all of that, when I should have been focusing on the good things.

I also should have come to this conclusion well before now. It would have saved me the problems with Masen and how I fell out with Alice and Jasper. I was going to have to handle them too.

It would be best if I made up with them first. That way they could be on my side and decide what would be best when making up with Bella. I still did not know how I was going to make up with her yet but that would all come in time. Though I did have to remember I had a limited amount of that left. She could have given up on me, and rightly so.

Each day at school I would sit and watch her and the memories would flood back. I loved the way her hair would whip about her face when it was windy. I loved her eyes when she was happy about something, they would practically shine. All of those things were the reasons I loved Bella and I had to keep remembering that she would be the one I was with, not the confident vindictive bitch Bella.

They were two very distinct people and as of recent I hadn't seen any of confident vindictive bitch but much more of sweet Bella. If she stayed like that I'd have no problem talking to her and begging for forgiveness but that wasn't the real Bella.

After all it was confident Bella that I had a crush on all those years. She had that aura about her that I loved, always so confident and full of emotion and power. She wouldn't let anyone walk all over her and she would speak her mind.

When we were alone she was sweet Bella and when we were out with everyone she was confident Bella. Those two sides to her were the ones I fell in love with and I wouldn't change them at all. The problem was she had dropped confident Bella over the last month and was now permanently sweet Bella.

I didn't like it one bit.

I wanted my Bella back and I knew I'd have to grovel for it. She needed that fight back and to be honest I didn't know how to get that. If I said anything provoking she would probably get upset when before she'd argue tooth and nail with me. We'd have a screaming match if need be but now that would never happen and to be honest I miss the meaningless fights we had.

Though I really just missed her and there were times when we were in school together and I just wanted to go over and hug her with no intentions of letting go. Obviously I didn't but as each day passed I thought about it more and more. At one point I'd break and just do it. I'd walk over and hug her without reason or cause.

Today was one of those days were I wanted to just that. She looked gorgeous and there was that fiery spark in her eyes I loved so much. Slowly she seemed to be getting back to normal but it was taking time and I could afford that. For all I know tomorrow she could wake up and decide to move on.

That would devastate me.

So I had to act fast. My first plan of action was going to win back Jasper and Alice to my side. Alice would be easier but then she could also give me advice on her boyfriend. The one thing I didn't want to happen was for us to end up in a fist fight. That would do no good to my cause.

Alice was with Jasper and Bella when I went to hunt her out. Since I wanted to speak to her as soon as possible I plucked up the courage, after fifteen minutes of debating with myself, to go over and ask to speak to her. I hadn't been that nervous in months.

"Alice?" The three looked up from the bench they were sharing. Jasper gave me a glare and clenched his fist while Bella bit her lip and looked to the ground.

"Yes Edward?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Go ahead."

"In private?" Jasper whispered something which made her laugh before she stood up.

"Sure. I'll be back soon guys."

"Thank you." I said, pushing my hands deeper into my pockets nervously.

"Not a problem, now what is it?"

We were standing far enough away from Jasper and Bella but they were both watching on intently. I didn't want them to lip read, which I knew Jasper could do, so turned her so I had my back to them and Alice stood in front of me. I blocked their view entirely.

"I would like to apologise and perhaps become friends again, if you're willing?" She giggled and me and hugged my chest.

"Oh Edward, you don't have to sound so formal you know. I'm not going to bite your head off."

"I know but I didn't know what to say."

"Just say that you're sorry-" She began.

"I am sorry though." I didn't want her thinking that I had to be told to apologise because I definitely did not need to be.

"-and that you will fix things with Jasper and Bella." Alice continued like there was no interruption.

"I was planning on doing those things anyway."

"Good. Then we're sorted." She began to step round me.

"Wait, just like that things are back to normal?"

"Yeah." I frowned at her as she giggled at me again and then elaborated. "You've come to your senses and you're going to tell her that you love her. Even if you still didn't love her you owe her an apology and I can see you're going to give her one. That's all I needed."

"Just for me to say sorry to Bella?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Cause she's my best friend and you hurt her on purpose when she hurt you by accident. It wasn't right. Good luck winning Jasper over." And with that she walked away.

Not only had she made me feel guiltier about the Bella situation but she also didn't give me tips on how to get Jasper to talk to me rather than punch my lights out. Maybe that would be the answer though. If he smacked me around a bit things could be done with and we could go back to normal.

It seemed like a good enough plan as any so I marched back over to the three of them. Alice was being quizzed by the other two but wasn't giving much away.

"What do you want?" Jasper asked, glaring at me when he saw me approach.

"To talk to you."

"I don't think so." He shook his head and looked away but I wasn't done.

"Jasper we need to talk."

"No Edward we don't."

"You're wrong." That got him riled.

"I'm wrong, about what? I've done nothing but stand by my friends and support them. You on the other hand like to see them in pain and go out of your way for the maximum amount you can cause them."

"You're talking shit." He wasn't but I needed him to hit me.

"Back off right now before I break your nose." He was standing but unlike last time we got into a confrontation Alice wasn't holding on to his hand or sleeve. She was watching me instead.

"I'd like to see you try." I said, finally noticing that quite a crowd had gathered.

Emmett and Rose were standing by, looking like they were ready to jump in any minute, Charles and Masen had prime front row seats if something kicked off, and other members of the student body had left enough room for us to have a scrap but without getting caught by teachers.

My last comment was enough for Jasper and he did exactly what I wanted. His fist connected with my jaw and I stumbled backwards, he was a better fighter than Masen so I was going to get my ass kicked.

Emmett, Masen and Bella all moved forward to stop it kicking off but I silenced them.

"No, let him. This has been a long time coming and I want it out the way." Emmett and Masen shot me curious looks but stepped back. Bella was still pleading with Jasper.

"Please Jazz, he's not worth this, just let it go."

"Bella?" I called. She turned to me slowly but wouldn't look me in the eye. "You're not going to change a thing here. If we don't fight now we'll fight later. It would be better if you moved back so you didn't get hurt."

"Like you care." Jasper shot at me, throwing down the first gauntlet.

"I do care, which is why I asked her to move back." Bella had actually done what I asked and had moved back to sit with Alice. From what I could hear she was telling her that it would all be fine, which means she knew why I was doing this.

If Jasper took all his anger out on me now there would be nothing left to argue over. That and I needed to be beaten to a pulp for how I treated Bella. This was like punishment but one I was willing to partake in. I never said I wasn't going to fight back though and I would give as good as I got.

However, I was at a disadvantage. I've never been much of a fighter and by the time this is over I'll probably need stitches. Jasper can fight like a champ and I've rarely been on the end of his fists but that was all changing today.

"That all you got?" I asked, rubbing my jaw and smirking at him.

I was ready and he looked like he was too.


	44. Chapter 44: Leap

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer_

**I Love To Hate You**

**Chapter Forty Four: Leap **

_Edward's POV_

"_That all you got?" I asked, rubbing my jaw and smirking at him._

_I was ready and he looked like he was too._

My body had time to prepare itself for the next punch, I saw it coming. He swung his fist and it connected with my jaw again but this time it sent me to the floor. He had been holding back and now I realised I was probably going to leave here in a body bag unless someone stopped us. I underestimated his power and was feeling the price of that mistake.

"Why don't we find out?" Jasper said, moving to stand over me.

Another punch to the jaw, always in the same place. Instead of being a pansy and not fighting back though I swung to hit him. I obviously couldn't hit his face if I was on the ground but did hit his ribs pretty hard. He buckled and ended up on his knees. I regained some of my ground and stood up, wiping the blood coming from my jaw. He had broken the skin with his punches.

Despite the fact he was meant to be kicking my ass I was attempting to kick his. I put my hands on his shoulders as he held his chest, trying to get his breath back, and kneed him straight in the ribcage. Out the corner of my eye Alice was standing up, glaring at me. She didn't matter at this point.

I had turned to look at her fully when I was brought to the ground. He had punched my gut, knocking the air out my lungs and momentarily stunning me. The next punch was to the mouth, followed by the jaw. He aimed for my eye but got my eyebrow instead in the scuffle. I was punched again, this time the ribs, then the mouth which caused blood to run down my face. Then one final punch to the side of the head, knocking me to the ground.

Jasper stood up again, standing over me once more, and kicked me solidly. I was groaning in pain, feeling like everything was breaking. He was losing control and no one was stopping him. Emmett, Masen, Charles, Rose, Bella and Alice were watching and not willing to intervene. They probably thought I was getting what I deserved, which is partly true.

I flailed, trying to stop the next assault but he anticipated it and practically jumped on my left wrist. It hurt like hell but I had no moment to dwell on it as he wasn't done yet. And neither was I. I punched him to in the chest and scrambled to my feet. Next punch was to the side of his face then his mouth, followed by another to his already bruising eye.

My next move was a dirty one but I needed to retaliate the best I could. I grabbed his punching hand and did my best to snap his fingers. He cried out for a second before delivering me with a blow that knocked me to the ground again. Apparently he can hit well with both fists.

Jasper grabbed my shirt collar and pulled me into a sitting position. He was going to beat me senseless now as I barely had the energy to move. If he let go of me I'd slump into a heap. But thankfully he never made the next punch as my angel stepped in.

"Wait Jasper, stop. Don't hit him again." Bella said, walking forward now.

"And why shouldn't I, he deserves this?" Jasper practically spat at me.

"Then so do I. He's not the only guilty person here. I deserve this treatment too so if you hit him once more you're going to have to hit me too."

"Bella you know I won't do that."

"Then you also won't be hitting him. I let this go on long enough. At first I thought it would help clear the air but you began to use my problems as an excuse to hit him. I won't have that. Edward has taken all this shit from us when I brought us on this path of destruction. I started all this and yet have got off with nothing more than a slapped wrist. He hasn't done anything wrong but is getting the crap kicked out of him. What kind of twisted logic is that?"

Jasper clearly didn't know how to respond and neither did I. There was a crappy double standard situation going on here but I was never going to call them on it. That would just be stupid. They'd accuse me of acting like a tool but now that Bella spoke up about it they may realise that actually the way they've gone about this wasn't fair.

I was roughly pulled up off the ground by Jasper. He pushed me a few feet back and gave Bella one last look. She was pleading with her eyes and I knew he wouldn't hit me again. No one could defy those eyes of hers.

"You sorry?"Jasper asked, spitting out blood.

"Yes but I was before you kicked my ass."

"Good."

"Right, are you boys done now with your macho display?" Alice asked, taking in her boyfriend's injuries.

"Yes." We answered simultaneously.

"Thank the Lord, you two need to get seen to."

Alice was definitely right about that. My wrist and ribs were killing me and from how retarded Jasper's fingers looked I'd say they were broken. We certainly knew how to put on a good fight, that's for sure. Masen walked over to me while the student body dispersed. He gave me a look over and shook his head.

"I need to teach you how to fight."

"I think I did pretty good by myself thanks."

"Yeah well if I taught you your wrist wouldn't be broken." I looked at it and agreed with his assessment. It probably was broken. "Come on, I'll take you to the hospital."

"Carlisle's going to freak." I muttered, knowing I'd get in trouble for this.

"Yep but he's not as bad as what mum's going to be like. You watch, she'll want to wrap you in cotton wool and never let you out again." I chuckled and shook my head, trying to laugh off the uneasy feeling in my stomach of my parent's reactions to this. It wouldn't go down well.

On the drive over Masen told me all the things I should have done when fighting Jasper, just in case I had to fight him again which was very unlikely. Our issues were solved and all it took was a good punch up. I wonder why girls don't resolve their problems that way.

We parked the car and headed inside only to be met with Carlisle. Someone had called ahead. Whoever it was, thanks, you just made things that much harder.

"The two of you follow me, now." He had his serious father voice on so it was clear I was in trouble. I don't know why Masen was being told to come though. "I thought I raised gentlemen." Carlisle began, taking us into an empty examination room.

"You did." Masen said, leaning against the wall as I had to sit on the bed.

"If you two were gentlemen then Edward wouldn't be in this condition. I hope your fight was worth it because when your mother sees you she'll have your head."

"I'm aware of that." He made quick work of cleaning the cut on my jaw and checking out the damage to my mouth, seeing if I had cracked teeth which thankfully I never.

"What else hurts?"

"Ribs and wrist." I answered.

"And where were you in all this Masen?"

"I was watching on the sidelines." Carlisle frowned at him as he grabbed a chart to fill in the details.

"Did you not think your brother needed help?"

"Not when the fight began. It wasn't my fight anyway so if I wanted to get involved I couldn't."

"Whose fight was it?"

"Edward's."

"And?" Masen and I both looked at each other for a moment, deciding who should spill.

"Jasper's." I said, looking at my father for the first time since we arrived.

"What were you fighting about?"

"I had fucked up and it seemed the best way to clear the air."

"Language." He scolded, moving my wrist about and prodding the skin. "I'm sending you for an x-ray but I'm almost certain you've broken it. Excuse me for a minute." Carlisle shut the door behind him and left us.

"Do you think he's calling mum?"

"I bloody hope not." I muttered, rubbing my face. It was sore but not as sore as my ribs. He was probably going to get an x-ray for them too just to be sure.

What Masen and I didn't expect though was him to return with Jasper, Alice and Bella in tow. I sat up straight immediately and winced from the movement. Jasper smirked at that and took the other bed. The girls stood on the other side, closest to the wall and furthest away from me.

Alice kept running her hands through his hair, touching his face and lightly kissing him as my father inspected his fingers. My eyes moved over to Bella and she was also watching their exchange before turning to look at me. God I'd do anything for her to do those things to me. However she frowned at me and gave me a pitiful look.

"Right Edward, you can go to the x-ray department. Come back here afterwards." He handed me the sheet I was to hand over and sent me on my way. Masen followed to keep me company.

"I thought you were going to tell her." He said when we were waiting.

"I am going to tell her."

"When?"

"I have no idea." He sighed and shook his head.

"She stood up for you mate, she still cares. Don't think that because some time has passed that she's moved on because she hasn't. Now that doesn't mean that you just have to tell her you love her and your sorry then everything will be alright again. You are going to have to make this up to her but then again she's going to have to do the same. You have to make the first move though. She tried and you kicked her down. It's your turn now."

"Edward Cullen?" The nurse called me up.

"I'll be gone when you get back. I have to go back to school, there's some crap they want me to do unless I'd rather fail." He said, standing up with me.

"No problem." I gave Masen a thankful smile before heading in.

They x-rayed my ribs first and then my wrist which hurt like hell when they were trying to put it in the correct position. It wasn't meant to be twisted in my opinion if it had a chance of being broken. In all it didn't take long and I used my charm on the nurse so she'd tell me the outcome. My ribs were fine, most likely bruised, but my wrist was broken. Thankfully it was a clean break and I wouldn't have to have it pinned.

I walked back to the examination room with the nurse who gave the x-rays to my father. He checked them then asked the nurse to get the equipment for a cast. Jasper was then sent off for x-rays and Alice went with him. My father had to leave aswell to attend to his patients which left Bella and I alone.

Before we had a chance to say anything the nurse came back and began work on my wrist. She applied the cast and made sure it didn't dig into my skin. It was plain white and I realised it was going to be a pain when showering since I couldn't get it wet. She told me it would be on for two weeks before I was to come back and be x-rayed again.

Then she left us.

Bella had been watching me the entire time, just standing there taking in the situation. I didn't know what to do so continued to look at her. I could stare at her all day, if she'd only let me. The silence in the room was deafening but broke when Bella started going through her bag. She pulled out a black sharpie and walked over to me.

"Can I sign your cast?"

"Yeah." I don't know why she'd want to sign it but hell I wasn't going to deny her anything. "Bella?"

She looked up at me as she walked over and stopped at the end of the bed, waiting for me to talk. I figured now was as good as time as any to speak to her or at least tell her how I felt.

"Yes Edward."

"I want to apologise for my behaviour towards you when we spoke out in that field. I was angry at you and thought it best to hurt you as some sort of way of revenge. It wasn't right of me so I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone about it that way. I just needed more time and I've had it now."

"Do you want me to apologise too?"

"No, you apologised before and I've already forgiven you."

"You've forgiven me?"

"Yes but that doesn't mean I'm not annoyed over what happened."

"Obviously and I shall accept your apology but also, I'm not happy with what happened. Nevertheless my feelings haven't changed."

Bella took my face in her hands and kissed me passionately, putting all her effort into it. Or at least it felt that way. She licked at my bottom lip and I granted her access, finally snapping out of my stunned reaction and finally kissing her back properly.

Unfortunately she pulled away too quickly for my liking and then began to sign my cast. She pressed on my cast first to see if it had set properly then took the lid off with her teeth. I took the lid out of her mouth as she wrote across the cast. When she finished her message she put the lid back on the pen and walked out the room.

I sat there stunned for a minute before reading the message on the cast.

_I love you, I hate you_

_but _

_I love to hate you_

_xxx_

_Jasper's POV_

Edward broke three of my fingers and the nurse was taking me back to the examination room to get them taped. We were about to open the door when it flew open and Bella came out. She shot me a smile and kept walking, despite me and Alice asking her what was going on.

"I'm going to go to find out what's happened." Alice kissed my cheek and followed after Bella.

The nurse seemed unfazed by our drama and we went inside. Edward was sitting on the bed looking completely dazed. He had his wrist casted and I felt guilty about that. I honestly never meant to break his wrist. I'd apologise later but no apology will make up for the beating I gave him.

But in all fairness he put up a good fight. There wasn't one second when he wasn't trying to retaliate or protect himself. I was actually surprised by his fighting skills. Edward was always the pansy ass out of the three of us. Emmett used his brute force when fighting, I tried to calculate the best way to attack my opponent, but Edward just did whatever.

As the nurse busied herself with my fingers I took in Edward's appearance again. He now was reading his cast, which I noticed had been signed, and touching his lips. There was a lost boy look about him as he reread the words scribbled down.

Bella must have signed it as no one had been in here with Edward. Alice had insisted that we leave them alone to talk when I went to get my x-ray. I was surprised Bella didn't plead to come with us as I didn't think she'd want to be left alone with Edward just yet.

But on the ride over here she was lashed into me about fighting him. Bella didn't want us to get involved in her life and concerns with Edward. She was going to handle it herself and I guess she took the time alone with him to do just that.

"You alright there?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Huh? Eh, yeah."

"Look, I'm sorry about your wrist." It felt kinda awkward doing this so soon.

"Me too, about your fingers."

"Are things back to normal now?"

"What's normal?" He asked, smiling softly.

"Are we…eh friends again?" Edward nodded.

"Yeah we're friends again. All it took was a few punches."

"And things with Bella?"

"I don't know. She's made her thoughts pretty clear to me but I think I have to make the next leap of faith."

"Will you?" Even though it was none of my business I still wanted to know. They were both my friends and it helped if they could be around each other without having this weird tension. Plus if he did make the leap then they could be together and that would be so much better.

"I'm not sure how to." He admitted, looking at me nervously. I thought I'd give him a break and asked what was on his cast. He read it aloud and I realised that I hadn't cut him a break by changing the subject.

"Right, well…what did you say to her after she wrote that?"

"Nothing, she left."

"And you didn't go after her?" He should have.

"Was I meant to?"

"That would have been the leap of faith Edward." He clenched his eyes shut and stood up.

"Do you think she's still here?"

"Possibly. Alice went to talk to her and since she's not come back yet I'd say they'll be talking."

"Will they mind if I cut in?" God he really was a mess, not even knowing how to go about this. My guess is that he was riding all his feelings on this and hoping that Bella won't shoot him down. Though from the message on his cast the chances of her doing so are like one in a trillion.

"No, you should go and speak to her. Sort things out once and for all. You've gone through the hard part so this should be easy."

"I'll take your word for it." Edward muttered, walking towards the door. "Thanks Jasper."

"You're welcome and I am sorry about that fight but it did do the job."

"Yeah. See you later." He excited the room and I was left waiting for Alice to return.

I hope he makes the damn leap.

_Alice's POV_

I kissed Jasper on the cheek and went after Bella. Although she came out smiling something must have happened between her and Edward. It was unlikely they would have just stood there together in silence.

"Bella?"

"Alice go be with Jasper, he'll want you there." She said.

"Bella it's not like he's dying. He has broken fingers, that's all."

"I know that but he's your boyfriend and he was in a fight."

"It's fine, I don't care. Now, what happened with you and Edward?"

"He apologised for the field incident and we cleared things up." Bella said as we walked through the hospital. "Then I kissed him." She muttered which brought me to a halt.

"You what?!"

"I kissed him." She shrugged like it was nothing but I wanted more details so pulled her over to some spare seats in the hallway and forced her to sit down.

"Why did you kiss him?" She didn't know Edward was going to tell her how he felt but this could have made his job easier.

"Because I wanted to. I'm past caring if he wants me or not. I want him and that's all that matters. It was one last parting kiss that I put everything into it. It was my closure in my mind. I'm giving him a week and then moving on."

"Why a week?" God I hope he got the courage to tell her soon.

"I wrote a message on his cast." I held back my squeal and asked for the details. Bella told me the exact words of her message and it just seemed too perfect.

Her message was the exact thing Edward needed to make his move. It gave him encouragement that she still felt the same and wouldn't reject her. So why the hell hadn't he followed her out of the room? God I needed to have words with that boy.

"Look Alice I'm going to go home. After earlier I don't want to return to school and have them gossip nonstop about what happened. So I'm ditching. If you need me give me a call." She hugged me and got up then left.

I stood up and started heading back to Jasper only to run into Edward on the way. He was looking round me and seemed in a rush.

"Alice, where's Bella?"

"She just left."

"Where was she going?"

"Home I think. Are you going to tell her how you feel?" Everything was coming together.

"That's the plan." He muttered, looking anxious.

"Well I'll let you go. Good luck with her." I leant up and kissed his cheek before going on my way.

I walked back to Jasper and kissed him softly. His hand was taped up and he was ready to go.

"Did Edward speak to Bella?"

"No she left so he's going to go see her."

"Good. It's about time they got together properly." I completely agreed.


	45. Chapter 45: Clean Slate

_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer_

**I Love To Hate You **

**Chapter Forty Five: Clean Slate**

_Bella's POV_

I hopped into my truck and drove away from the hospital, just wanting some time to think. If Edward didn't make a move in the next week I'd have the hardest time trying to eliminate him from my mind. I have reminders of him everywhere, memories of past moments, that will cut my heart in to pieces if he doesn't want to be with me.

For now I didn't want to go home. No doubt Charles would bunk off after the fiasco this morning and be waiting there for me to come and talk to him. I didn't need that yet. When this all fell apart I'd need him but for the next week he can just be on hold.

As it was the middle of the day town was more quiet than usual to drive through. I found myself driving away from the hospital, then the school and then the town. What I needed right now was a chance to escape from my thoughts. There was a force in me that brought me to a place I was sure I wouldn't return to, the field where Edward broke my heart.

Although he had apologised those wounds still stung. He had meant what he said at the time and as much as he can deny it I know that when those words left his mouth they were the truth. Edward said them with so much venom I couldn't cope and although I had been on the receiving end of his anger it was never quite like that. His words went for the jugular and bled me to death before his very eyes.

I knew what he was capable of and yet I still was putting myself in the position to get hurt. But to me that was worth it. He was worth it. If it hadn't been for me none of this would have happened. I didn't have to go after him like that and all it brought me was heartache. I've learnt from this mistake and hope he finds it in him to truly forgive me for that.

He clearly is still angry about it and his words at the hospital, although soothing, didn't clear my conscience. Perhaps it will always be cloudy as I don't see it letting up. But then again, how clear is Edward's? He's certainly made his fair share of mistakes.

I may forgive him for them but there is still that anger and worry over it all. He could do it again to me and I don't know how well I could pick up the pieces next time. I know I wouldn't go on that path again but I wasn't certain about him. It all boiled down to the fact that I can't trust him and I really doubt he can trust me.

He has yet to give me any inclination as to whether he'll accept my offer to be together and I was hoping that he'd come and talk to me some more in the hospital but obviously that's not what he had in mind. For all I know Edward could be summing up the pros and cons about being in a relationship with me.

I wouldn't blame him if he was; in fact I'm surprised I haven't done that before. Now's too late though. I've already handed over what's left of my heart and he will either put it back together or smash to hell, to be left unrepaired. Because Edward was so unpredictable I have no idea what he might decide, or how long it may take him to make that decision.

He doesn't need to know about the seven day time limit on this and I won't tell him. A week isn't a very long time but if it takes him that long then there is clearly too much wrong with this relationship and we need to move past it. That in itself will be a very difficult thing to do but it's got to be done as I refuse to stay hung up on one guy my entire life.

The field hadn't changed much since the last time I was there. I walked straight over to where things fell apart and sat down among the long grass. Everything about that day was lodged into my mind and I had to let it go. I would never forget it but I had to let the anger, sadness, and hatred seep away and into the soil.

Laying back into the grass, looking up at the murky grey clouds above me I thought of Edward and all the good things that happened between us, rather than the bad. God I loved that boy and everything about him. He was just too gorgeous for his own good and had the sweet attitude to go with it. It was just too bad that rarely came out but there was still something about his arrogant attitude I liked too.

Initially that's why I hated him, his I'm-much-better-than-you ways, but when we started getting revenge he took it in his stride. Granted, for a while he might have been pissed but overall it was a laugh. Then I had to go ruin it. But even then he kept himself together most of the time, until it all came undone.

I caused him to breakdown and for the first time ever I saw Edward as a little boy being punished but he didn't know what for. All because he hadn't done anything to deserve that treatment. Yet for some reason I had thought he did. God, what an idiot I am.

My thoughts moved over to the time we spent in his room together, him trying to get me to relax and just be with him. He had that vulnerability I'd never seen but I shunned him. All he wanted was for us to be together and yet I kept hammering home that we shouldn't though I was willing to sleep with him.

Everything was just fucked up on my end. I had done so much damage to that boy that if he decided he didn't want us to be together I'd understand his decision. Here I was worrying about him breaking my heart again when he had had his broken hundreds. Each time I rejected him he lost spirit but then when everything was coming together I threw it in his face.

There's way I could make up for that, ever, no matter how hard I tried. All I hoped for now was that he had it in him to be forgiving and give me that chance I so longed for.

There was a light spray across my face and when I opened my eyes I was met with the clouds above, raining on me. It was then I realised I'd fallen asleep in the field. Thankfully it wasn't dark or I'd struggle finding my way back to my truck. I stretched across the ground, my muscles moaning in the process, and then worked my way to my feet.

It wasn't raining heavy, thankfully, so I wasn't soaked when I got back to my truck but I was cold. I blasted the heaters up and drove back towards town. School had just gotten out so traffic was a heavier than earlier, which took me longer to get home. I pulled up into my drive and was met with Edward, sitting in the spitting rain, on my doorstep, holding a sign.

My legs turned to jelly as I stepped out of the car, not having a chance to read what he was holding. He either came to tell me I wasn't worth the hardship or that I was. I prayed to God it was the latter.

_Edward's POV_

My car wasn't cooperating with me. It was taking too long for the engine to start and then I had to piss about putting on my seatbelt, checking my mirrors before pulling out and then having to abide by the 10mph speed limit while on hospital grounds. 10mph, they have to be having a laugh!

When I hit the town it was relatively quiet but nursery had just broken up and all the mothers were everywhere. Every crossing I came to I had to stop to let them across and I swear some of them were crossing back and forth to spite me. It was all so bloody ridiculous.

Finally I got past all that and I was driving over to Bella's house without much of a problem. I did have one though, what was I going to say to her? There were many ways of going about this. I could be blunt and tell her I think I'm in love with her and that I want us to be together. I could hint that I loved her and wanted to be together, but only if she did. Play it cool. Or I could say nothing at all and just kiss her, she'd get my meaning, I think.

Being blunt sounded best to me as kissing her could imply I just wanted to sleep with her and playing it cool could turn me into a blundering fool. This was going to be like ripping of a plaster, quick and painless. Yeah right.

Seeing as how Jasper said I should have gone after Bella when she left the hospital room I figured I was already off to a bad start and that she might not want to hear me out. I'd have to have something for her to read to know what I wanted and had decided. A letter, though fitting as I was her secret admirer, seemed too long and I would probably piss my pants while she read through it.

So I settled on a sign. It would be plain and simple, implying exactly what I wanted from us. How I was going to get a sign was a different matter. I needed cardboard, a piece of paper was too floozy and would look like I hadn't put effort into this. Getting cardboard was another matter though, I'd have to go back to school and nick some from the art department. Oh Edward you petty thief.

I was annoyed at myself for not thinking of this sooner as I had just pulled up to Bella's house and was having to drive away again. Back I went though, through the town, past the women and their kids, and over to the school. It was still in session so I'd have to be sneaky, which meant when all else failed lie and charm myself out of it.

I parked my car and headed straight to the art department, not wanting to waste any time. The sooner I was off school property the better. If a teacher saw me I knew I'd be in deep shit. After all I had been involved in a fight and there were serious consequences for that.

There was only one class in the art department which meant the other classroom was free. I entered as quietly as I could and hunted round the cupboard at the back for their supply of white cardboard. They had loads and probably wouldn't notice one bit going missing. So I took it off the shelf and on my way out grabbed a thick black marker pen. It would look pathetic if my message was written in biro on this thing.

With my essentials at the ready I got the hell out of school, though I was seen by the history teacher who wanted my balls. No doubt he'd get my arse kicked and I'd most likely end up with another suspension. A thought hit me so fast I slammed my brakes on and the car came to a screeching halt in the middle of the street. Thankfully it was empty and I didn't cause an accident.

I remembered the last time I was in trouble. They told me I had one chance left and once I blew that I was going to be expelled. Surely they wouldn't expel me for a little fist fight. Fuck, they totally would. Shit.

The damage had already been done though and no matter what I did now I could change things. The fight had taken place and my future as a student at Forks High School was now out of my hands. Jesus, Carlisle and Esme will kill me. I couldn't dwell on that for long though, I had to go speak to Bella. She was the one thing I was certain of.

We were both screwed up and had made so many mistakes that the past had turned into a pit of hatred. I wanted to change that. I didn't want there to be that hatred, not when I was one hundred percent in love with the girl. Apparently she loved me too, which made my heart soar.

Bella had been so bold to write her feelings down like that, and on my newly fitted cast. If I had decided she wasn't worth the time then this would always be there to remind her of being rejected. That would just be awful. Good thing that I'm not rejecting her, I couldn't do that again, especially now that I've got things sorted out in my head.

In my car outside Bella's house I wrote my message on the cardboard in the black marker and then got out to ring the doorbell. After five minutes of waiting I concluded she wasn't there but I wasn't going to just leave. Alice said she wanted time to think/rest so maybe she'd gone for a drive.

It would be completely pointless of me to get in my car and start driving around looking for her. We'd probably miss each other and not get the chance to talk this out today. So that meant I wasn't going anywhere. She's come home eventually; I just had to be patient.

And I was for the first hour and a half but then I got grouchy. Where could she be? Maybe she was hurt or had been in an accident? What if I never got my change to tell her how I felt?

My mind was reeling with thoughts like that which I had to stop. I was getting myself worked up when I shouldn't be. She's probably driving back from where ever she was and is perfectly safe. There was a slight temptation to call her and check but then I'd have to tell her over the phone and that didn't seem like a good thing to do. I wanted to see her face when this all came out, see if it was as relieved as mine.

Another hour later her car pulled up and I sat there ready with my sign. Bella took a moment or two in her car, just sitting, looking stumped. Then she got out and I just wanted to go over and kiss her. That plan wasn't on the cards today. I gripped the card harder, hoping that she'd take notice and answer my all important question.

"What's with the sign?" Bella asked, walking from her car and standing on her lawn.

"I was following your example." I raised my cast to show how.

"Be Mine? Well for starters I won't be a possession." I winced at that, of course Bella wouldn't be a possession.

I scribbled through the first message and wrote another.

_Love Me?_

"I already do." She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at me as though she was bored. This really wasn't going well.

I turned the cardboard over and wrote on the other side as my message was longer this time. This question would tell me where we stood, finally.

_Will you be my girlfriend?_

I looked at her hopefully and watched as the smile lit up her face.

"Yes." I broke into a smile and walked over to her, taking her face in my hands.

"I missed you and all of this." She leaned up and kissed me, taking charge of the situation again. Like the last kiss we shared Bella pulled back first.

"Things aren't perfect, you know that, right?"

"Yes." I answered, kissing her cheek, just to touch her again.

"Good cause this is going to take some work and I want to know if you're going to give up on us later. Do you have any doubts?" She had moved her head back, making sure that I was listening.

"None at all. We're both so screwed up that we're great together. Though I do have a request, what happened in the past stays in the past, we can't use it as ammunition in our little spats."

"Done." Thank God, we'd never get over things otherwise.

"Good."

"Come on in." Bella took my hand and led me to her front door where I grabbed my sign as she opened the door.

She locked the door behind us and continued to hold my hand as we walked through the house. Bella grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen and then took me upstairs. I stayed silent the entire time, just watching her and revelling in the fact she was letting me near her.

We entered her room and Bella dumped her bag down and put my sign next to it. She ran her hands over my shirt and then through my hair.

"We need to get you out of these damp clothes." She said, starting to undo the buttons.

"Seriously Bella its okay, we barely got wet at all. It was just spitting down lightly." She rolled her eyes and kissed me passionately.

"Okay I tried to be subtle about it but you clearly didn't get it. I've missed you and I want to have sex, clothes off."

"Uh…eh...bw…right." I squeaked out. God I loved this girl.

I needed no more encouragement and probably seemed like an over eager virgin again. The clothes were dropped to the ground and Bella stood in front of me smirking. I blushed and grabbed my boxers again, sliding them on and taking a seat on the bed.

"You're just too cute." She straddled my lap and lightly kissed my jaw. "Lie back." I followed her command and she settled over me, leaning against my chest and running her hands over my head. "I still hate you." I chuckled and kissed her forehead.

"I still hate you too, that won't change just because you're my girlfriend now."

"Good, I wouldn't be happy if you suddenly liked me." Bella leaned down again and kissed me, her hands roaming my chest and beginning to work on her clothes.

The door shut downstairs and I startled but she didn't care. If her father had just got back he'd put a bullet in my skull, execution style. Bella was ignoring my light pushes against her so I rolled us and leant up on my arms.

"Who's that?"

"Charles, don't worry." She pulled me back to her lips and resumed her assault on my body.

"Ding dong." We both ripped apart and looked in the doorway to see Charles and Masen. My brother was grinning devilishly while Charles looked like he wanted to murder me.

"Can you two shut the door?" Bella asked.

"I don't think that would be wise." Charles said, shaking his head.

"Come on Charles, they've done it before." Masen said, hand on the doorknob.

"I don't care." I slid off Bella and grabbed my jeans to put back on.

"No Edward, stay how you are." I could tell from her tone that she'd be pissed if I got dressed. "Charles I don't have an issue when you bring girls home, random girls at that, so get off my back. Edward and I and dating, this isn't some random fuck."

Charles winced at what she said and shot me a glare, still not happy. Even though he was the younger sibling he was very protective over Bella. He had seen how I had hurt her and wasn't convinced that it wouldn't happen again. I understood where he was coming from but all he gained from this was pissing off Bella.

"I don't like you." Charles said to me. I nodded and rubbed the back of my neck, glancing at the words on my cast.

"That's alright. I don't really like myself either." He nodded as Masen watched Bella's reaction to this.

"Let's go." Charles grabbed Masen's arm and yanked him away, shutting the door aswell.

"I'm sorry about him." Bella said, sighing against me. I wrapped my arms around her and held her closer.

"I get it; he's protective of you and no wonder. We don't exactly have that perfect track record." She nodded but still had that sad look on her face so I decided to change the subject. "I think I'm going to get expelled."

"What?!" Her eyes were wide as she looked at me

"After the steroids and the cheating a fight was something I did not need. I'm pretty sure they have enough ammunition to expel me if they wanted." I shrugged and pulled Bella back to the bed.

"Oh God." She clasped her hands over her eyes. "This is all my fault."

"Bella, don't worry about it. Shit happens."

"Shit happens? That's all you have to say?"

"Well yeah. There's nothing I can do about it. We can't change the past, just learn from it. I really don't care anyway. I'm pissing into the wind here. After the cheating thing going on my record it'll be a little tricky for everything to go how I planned. This is just another step back so maybe I should rethink things."

"I've fucked up your life." Yes she had but I still loved her, regardless of that.

"So what? There are other things I can do."

"You're too laid back about this. I don't think you realise how important al that is." I shook my head and kissed her softly.

"I know what's important. You're important. I'll get into university, maybe not the ones I desperately wanted to but I'll go somewhere."

"Will you ever forgive me for doing this to you?"

"I already have forgiven you. It's still a sore subject but in time that wound will heal. I take it you feel the same way about what I did to you?"

"Yeah, though I don't think it's such a big issue for me anymore." I gave her a curious look but she just shrugged and then decided to kiss my thoughts away.

Her light pecks turned into something else and she got up briefly to lock the door and strip down to her underwear. I was in heaven and showed her how much I truly missed her, with her doing the same aswell it seemed.

We both fell asleep and I was so elated to have her back in my arms that at that point in time I couldn't care less about the chaos that got us here.

_Bella's POV_

I woke up to Edward's lips kissing his way up my spine. I shivered at the feeling and turned round to face him. He grinned before swooping in to kiss me, this time on the lips. I groaned at the feeling of him against me and then reluctantly pulled back.

We had to get dressed before my father came home. Finding his only daughter locked in her bedroom with a guy would not be wise. Charlie would probably shoot Edward after everything that's gone on. He still thinks I went down on Edward in our kitchen at that bloody family dinner.

I slipped out from under the sheets and walked across the floor to get some clothes from the closet. The bed protested as Edward got up and dressed again, fighting his shirt over the cast. That had in fact been a pain in the ass but we found a way around it, thankfully.

"Can I take you to school tomorrow?" Edward asked, coming up behind me once he was dressed.

"You know I can do things for myself?" He nodded but was still waiting for an answer. "Yeah you can."

"Thank you." He kissed me softly as we opened the door and headed downstairs.

Charles and Masen were in the living room playing video games when we passed. My brother glared at Edward and shook his head, disappointed in my decision to forgive him. He would have to learn that I can make choices for myself and that he should stick by me no matter what they are. Plus Edward really isn't to blame for all this so maybe Charles shouldn't think of me as his innocent older sister that can do no wrong.

Edward was going to head off home so I walked him out to his car and kissed him goodbye, telling him I loved and hated him, just like he told me. This was our twisted way of being together and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The following day though brought some change. Edward was called straight to the principal's office from registration and I saw his parents arrive as well. It didn't look good. During the time Edward and his parents were meeting with the principal Jasper looked guilty as hell.

He hadn't exactly picked the fight so shouldn't feel guilty. Edward understood that he was breaking rules; he just forgot that he might get expelled for doing so.

Personally I'd say all three of us are to blame if Edward gets expelled. Jasper because he shouldn't have picked sides. Edward because he should have thought about the consequences. Then me because I shouldn't have caused the riff that divided them at the time.

A lot of this could have been avoided if Edward and Jasper had fought off of school property. Even if they had just punched up in front of the gates they wouldn't have been in trouble. If it's not in the schools jurisdiction then they can't punish. We were just all stupid that day and forgot.

My brain couldn't focus in any of my lessons as I worried about Edward. He was on the other side of the building, probably getting a lashing from his parents, and most likely getting expelled. When I had the idea to take Edward down a few notches I certainly never planned on taking him out of this school.

It was all fun and games at one point but it's now serious and I'm at fault. His parents won't be impressed if Edward is expelled and although they won't know I'm the reason why they will be pissed enough to send him away. Which would be punishment for me too.

Now that I'm with Edward being apart from him seems like hell. It's still crazy to even think that we're officially together and the past behind us. Though if Edward gets expelled he may be pissed and not want to forget about the past so easily.

When lunch pulled round and I still hadn't heard anything or seen Edward I assumed his parents were fighting tooth and nail for him to stay a student at Forks High School. Made sense though, if he was expelled now he'd find it tricky to get into another school and graduate on time.

So I may have fucked up his graduation. There was no way I was going to let him go down by himself for this.

Mrs Baker, the receptionist, wasn't at her desk when I went to go speak to the principal. She'd be able to get me squeezed in to see him but without her I was at a loss of what to do. I took a seat and waited for about ten minutes when the door opposite me and out came Mr Moore, Edward and his parents.

"What are you doing here?" Edward whispered as his parents said something to our principle.

"Fixing my mess." His eyes widened when he caught on and he violently shook his head.

"Don't be a stupid bitch and fuck everything up. Go, right now." I shook my head and crossed my arms, not liking his attitude.

Day one of being together: I want to kick his ass for telling me what to do.

"Did you get expelled?" I asked, taking in his full appearance. He seemed sad and anxious.

"Yeah." I stood up and kissed him softly, not caring about who else was in the room.

"I'm sorry."

"And I've already forgiven you. It's okay."

"No it's not." I argued, stepping back from him when his parents frowned at what was going on.

"Bella, I can go to another school, it's not a problem. Forget about this and please for the love of God don't say a word."

"I have to. This isn't all your fault, well in some way it is for doing all those stupid things in the first place but you would never have been caught if it weren't for me. Plus I broke more than one law here. I hacked into the school system illegally, broke in and vandalised the place, altered school records and quite a lot of other things they'd want my ass for."

"They won't find out about all that."

"Yes they will. I'm going to tell them." Edward opened his mouth to protest but I had already turned to Mr Moore. "Sir, can I possibly speak to you?"

"Please Bella, don't say a word." I ignored Edward as Mr Moore considered what I was saying. I think he thought I was going to fight for Edward to stay here, not get myself kicked out.

"Alright Miss Swan, go wait in my office. I'll be back in a few minutes after I see Dr and Mrs Cullen off the premises with Edward." I nodded and headed to his office.

"You're being an idiot." Edward said, louder than I would have liked.

"I'm being honest." He shook his head and frowned at me, pleading with his eyes that I could hardly resist. "Sorry Edward but I need to do this." He shrugged and sighed before following his parents.

When Mr Moore returned I explained everything to him, well almost everything. I told him I was the one who was trying to destroy Edward. He realised what that meant, the vandalism, breaking in, open evening disaster, and was royally pissed.

Like I expected he called my parents and within the hour Charlie, Renee and Phil were in the office with me too. Mr Moore explained to them that with the number of rules and the seriousness of them allowed for automatic expulsion.

Charlie was furious with him. I broke some laws and although the school wasn't going to press charges seeing as I was the chief of police's daughter this didn't reflect well on him. Renee was disappointed in me for stooping to that level and Phil just followed her lead.

I knew this was all going to happen but instead of feeling scared and disappointed in myself I felt like I had finally owned up to my sins and was embracing the consequences of my actions. Things would have caught up to me eventually so it would be better to get it out the way now.

At exactly 14:23 I was expelled from Forks High School and was asked to gather my belongings and leave.

My parents went straight home and would be waiting for me to come back so they could have serious words and discuss where to go from now. I wasn't really looking forward to that so took my time clearing my locker and making sure I had everything.

After throwing my contents in my truck I walked round to the driver's side but stopped short. Edward was leaning against his car, off school premises, waiting for me. He smiled when he saw me and motioned for me to walk forward.

"Hi."

"Hey." I said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to his chest.

"They kick you out too?" I nodded and he sighed once more. "You didn't have to do that."

"I know but if I didn't then I would never be able to accept what I did was wrong. I needed that to know there are consequences for doing what I did to you."

"I could have told you there were consequences." He argued, not happy that I went to the extremes.

"It wouldn't have been the same."

"So now what?" I looked up at him as he tucked my hair behind my ear.

"Now we have a clean slate to go on."

"Fresh start?" Edward asked.

"Fresh start."

"We in this together?"

"Absolutely."

"Good." He kissed me softly and then hugged me tightly. "Let's go and get the shit yelled at us."

"Alright." I pecked his cheek and went back to my truck.

He opened his window as I drove out and I did the same, looking at him expectantly.

"I still hate you."

"And I you." We both smirked at each other before driving away.

We'd handle our parents separately but everything else together. After all we were in this for the long run now, and I couldn't be happier about that.

He's still the obnoxious asshole but I fell in love with him regardless and seeing as I wasn't any better, being a vindictive bitch, we'd work perfectly.

A.N.

Well that's it finished. Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, added this to their favourite or alert lists. A special thanks to TheSpoiltOne for all your help, this wouldn't be finished without your input.


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